On this dark sidewalk dimly lighted up by the streetlights and passing cars, I'm holding Eli's left hand as I lead her. The road is on the left and I'm near it. She has been here before, back when they lived in this subdivision but I doubt that she remembers the way. There is nothing much to talk about between us. I figured out it's best that we should. Maybe she thinks too that's why she's not saying anything and just holds my hand firmly. I can tell she's trembling a little. Why is she trembling? Should I ask her? No, that would be so sudden. Just... walk and hold her hand.
Her hand is much softer than Irene's.
Thinking about it, why don't I feel a little bit sadder? My breakup was minutes ago and the memory is still fresh. Why do I feel like I could breathe fine? These tears... feel like I'm just pretending to be hurt. I feel... at ease when holding her hand. What could this mean?
“What are you looking at?” she asks frowning at me. I stir, realizing I was staring at her.
“Uh, nothing.” I sniff, sucking up my mucus.
After that, dead air again. Only our footsteps and the muffling sounds of our bag are making noises as well as the passing cars. They're like grounded shooting stars, appearing all of a sudden then zipping into the distance. My heart is beating fast. I'm nervous that she will let go of my hand because of rough it is. My palms have calluses because of the dumbells I use in working out.
“Don't misunderstand,” she says out of nowhere, looking to her right. “I'm not having a relationship with you because I like you. I'll never like a guy. I just did this so I could get rid of my guilt in lying to my parents that you're my boyfriend. But now that you are, I'm not lying to them anymore. It makes me feel less guilty.”
So, that's what it is, then I must come up with a reason why I'm going along with her crazy idea. I don't like her too because she's so annoying and not interested in boys. I'm just satisfying my selfish desire to have a pretty girlfriend.
“Me too,” I speak. “I'm just going along with you so that I can show to the girls who rejected me that I found a better girl than them.”
She looks at me, raising her eyebrows, slightly. She mutters, “Better... girl-” She clears her throat and her face comes back frowning but looking at the ground. “Okay, fine.”
“And so that my family will be proud of me, finally having a girl to take home with me.”
“This is relationship is not real, then.”
“It might be. I don't know about you but I want to treat this relationship like it's real. You're lucky that you've been in many relationships and experienced the joy that comes with it. If I don't experience that, then I'm just wasting my time with you rather than finding someone else that will let me.”
“Fine!” she growls, squeezing my hand tighter and leaning her whole body against me while we walk.
My heart jumped a little there. It's making my face radiate heat. I must hide it or she will tease me so I must distract her by saying something.
“Also, since we're together now, I don't care if you like girls but you must stop flirting eith others.”
“What?!!” she questions. “No!!”
“That's the truth of relationships as we know. You must only be loyal to one.”
She grumbles, “You f*ckin' idi*t...”
“You understand?”
“I'm not a child!”
“Good.”
“I'm starting to regret this.”
“Well, me too. Let me carry your stuff.”
“Why the f*ck would I do that?!”
“I'm your boyfriend and it'll make me look bad letting you carry heavy stuff.”
“I'm not weak!”
“I know, just let me carry it when we enter our home!”
I let go of her hand and walk a little slower so I could reach her backpack. She removes it from herself and I wear it in front of me.
“Easy, isn't it?” I ask her.
“Shut up!”
What's with her? I thought she should be one who's acting cooler between the both of us. It's like her character changed. She likes messing around with me but now she's very irritated and I'm the one who's at ease. What does this mean?
It took less than half an hour when we finally reached my home. Standing on the sidewalk before our lawn, I tell her, “This is it.”
She looks at our simple home with its windows lit up by the light from inside. Then she goes looking across the street—where she and her parents used to live. It's been renovated into a mineral water plant. Although dark, I can see her face is plain when looking at it.
“It's been a long isn't it?” she asks.
“Yeah. 13 years if I'm not wrong.”
She scoffs a laugh. “I still remember the first time I saw you.”
“Ugh, don't remind me that,” I complain.
She laughs and says, “Your peepee- uh, n... never mind,” she stammers then looks away.
“Let's just get inside.”
“Okay,” she nods. She becomes looking more like a girl for me every second.
On the pathway on the lawn, we walk until reaching the front door. I knock twice, saying, “I'm home!”
“Kevin's home!” I hear my little brother exclaiming from the inside.
Footsteps become louder as it gets near the door. Someone opens it and it's him, Kyle—my little brother. He's six years old.
“Kevin!” he exclaims, smiling and hugging me. He looks at Eli curiously and she just smiles at him.
“Welcome home, my son,” says Dad, also noticing Eli beside me. “And...?”
“She's Eli, Dad,” I tell him. “You know, our neighbor-”
“Eli!” he exclaims, laughing. “You're grown up!”
“Nice to meet you again, Mr. Carmona,” she bows.
“Nice to meet you again too. Both of you, come inside.”
We enter and led her to my room so we could put our stuff there. On the way, I see my little sister, scrolling down her phone, sitting on the sofa in the living room. The TV is on but she's not watching. She's fifteen now and her teenage attitude is showing.
“Hello, Sophia,” I greet her and she just looks at me and Eli for a second before looking at her phone again. She's acting like she doesn't care about us.
“Hi,” is the only word she says.
Not even a single word of at least telling me she's glad that I returned alive and to welcome Eli—our guest and always make her laugh her when she was a baby.
As we enter my room, I whisper at Eli, “I'm sorry about that. Teenagers.”
“I understand,” she whispers back. “We've been in that phase.”
I'm impressed that my room is well-kept. Mother cleans it every day—she said. Most of the posters and collectibles that Eli gave me are here but most of them are gone, torn up, and vandalized by my brother. He has done it a lot of times that I gave up scolding him every time I return home. They're just posters and toys. What matters is that he has a liking for drawing like me.
“It didn't change much,” she remarks, sitting on my bed and looking around as I walk around the room.
“Yeah. It's still a weeb's room.”
“I thought you brought everything with you in your dorm.”
“That'll be a drag.”
“Mhmm,” she agrees. “By the way, your sister is very pretty.”
Suspicious!!! “Hey, hey, hey!” I point at her. “Leave her alone!”
“Relax, I'm not gonna do anything to her. We have a deal, remember?”
“More like a promise.”
“Yeah, so rest yourself and curb your sister complex.” She rolls her eyes away from me.
“What?!!”
“Kevin,” calls someone from the door behind me. “Welcome home.” It's Mom. I gave her a hug and looks at Eli as soon as she lets go of me. “Elizabeth?”
“Nice to meet you again, Mrs. Carmona,” she bows.
Mom comes to hug her. “You look so pretty, Elizabeth!” she compliments.
“You look beautiful too, Mrs. Carmona.” She smiles and they chuckle.
“How're your parents? Are they here in the Philippines?”
“Uh, they're fine and in Japan. I came here on my own to study.”
“Is that so? I'm so glad to meet you again. How did you two meet?”
I don't wanna tell her specifically because she will get mad if she finds out I've been drinking.
“She happens to enroll in the same college as me,” I answer in Eli's stead.
“What a coincidence!”
“It is,” agrees Eli, smiling.
“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Why don't you two wait at the table?”
“Okay,” I nod.
“Thank you,” says Eli.
Our table is a rectangle table for six. Mother will be sitting at the host seat, at her right will Father and beside him is my sister. Father lets her sit there because he respects her that much. At the moment, he helps her with cooking. I'm at her left and beside me is Eli. Finally, my brother is at the other end. He likes it there.
To pass the time, Eli is engaging with him but has a hard time talking to Sophia because all she does is looking at her phone. I want to tell her about setting it aside for the moment but I feel I don't have the right since I'm not always here. Also, she's very stubborn.
“How's school, Sophia?” I ask.
Not looking away from her phone, she answers, “Fine.”
I wish she could tell me more about it. Maybe she isn't interested in talking about it. “Okay, that's good,” I remark.
“How about you, Kyle?”
“We went on a field trip!” he announces.
“Really?”
“Yeah!”
“Where did you go?”
“At a museum!”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Uh-huh!” he nods and prepares to tell his story. “There are so many paintings there! Colorful paintings!”
He tells us the rest of his experience and the paintings that he likes the most. I can tell that he's gonna become a better artist than me. His passion is still fresh and lively, unlike mine. If he happens to begin to lose his passion, I'll be there to back him up keeping it intact. Who knows? Maybe he'll become a great illustrator someday. I'd be proud.
Eli enjoys listening to him which is unexpected. I thought she'd be uninterested because she only likes flirting with girls. I guess I was wrong.
“Do you have your pictures taken?” she asks.
“Yeah,” he answers. “Sophia took pictures of me.”
“Let us see, Sophia,” I ask her.
She sighs, still looking at her phone. “I posted it on Acebook. Just use your phone.”
“Okay...”
She has become harder to communicate with. I'm seeing myself when I was a teenager. I was this difficult too, refusing to cut down my time on playing video games. My mother was right, it became hard for me to socialize. That's a thing that I regret a little but now, I'm moderating it.
Sophia has to cut down her time on her cellphone or she will face the same thing as I did. Also, social media has a lot of toxic people in it and ideas that are not true. Quotes are the things that are damaging. They sometimes contradict other quotes, I know this and it has me confused over the years. I figured out that I'll have to learn everything on my own. That's the story of why I stop scrolling down on Acebook too much. But I won't force her, I'll let her learn it on her own but I'll warn her when I have a chance. Right now, it's not the right time.
So, I open my phone and watched Kyle's photos in Sophia's album. There's a lot of them! His smile looks like he's the one who's enjoying the most. None of his classmates outshines him. This makes me feel so glad.
A few minutes later, Mom and Dad return to the table to have dinner. We have adobo paired with rice and two liters of soda on the table. I feel a little bit awkward because I haven't told them yet that Eli and I are in a relationship. I don't even feel like our relationship is real.
“So, son,” says Dad.
“Yes?” I ask,
“How are you doing with your studies.”
“I'm doing fine, Dad. I can say I won't fail,” I joke and chuckle.
He looks at me, half-smiling but Mom stares at me and says, “Kevin, you better not be wasting your time fooling around instead of studying.”
“I'm not,” I answer, lying. I did fool around, like drinking and going to a nightclub—but that was not my idea.
“Hmm...,” she suspiciously hums, narrowing her eyes.
“How about you, Eli?” Dad asks.
“I'm doing fine too,” she answers.
“You know, a lot changed in you. When you and Kevin are still kids, you have a lot of energy compared to him. Now, you're this graceful young lady. So, you already got a boyfriend, don't you?” he asks out of nowhere!
“Alan!” Mom scolds him, slapping his shoulder.
“What? I'm just asking.”
“Yes, Mr. Carmona,” Eli answers.
No way she's gonna- Wait, is she gonna tell them?!!
Without hesitation, she says, “My boyfriend is your son.”