Matched Up With My Tomboy Childhood Friend

Apology

“Just leave me alone!” I yell at Eli.

“I told you to stop using those words!!” she rages.

“I can use it all I want!”

“This is why you can't get any girlfriend! Having a girlfriend is a personal connection and you're fast in breaking one! What's the matter with you? You have to tell what you think instead of bottling it up inside! Get rid of that bad habit of yours if you don't want to be alone forever!”

She's right. I realize that myself but I can't accept that someone else is saying that to me. “What do you know about me? We just met days ago and you're acting like we know each other. It's annoying to me that you suddenly barge in and take in charge of my life as if you're my mother! You're not! So you have no right to decide for me!”

What am I saying?

Gritting her teeth, she glares at me then yells, “Fine! Go ahead with your miserable, f*cking life!”

“I will!”

I turn to walk away from her while she shouts, “Enjoy being alone forever!!”

“Oh, I intend to!”

“You're a waste of time, after all,” she mumbles but I heard it well.

“Well, thank-” I try to rant back but when I turned around, she's walking away in the opposite direction, showing her back. She's walking like nothing ever happened.

Continuing to walk, I feel guilty all of a sudden. Then when I think about it, I was in the wrong. Should I apologize? No, it's too late now, I messed up. I know that she's trying to help me but I treated her that way. I'm a pathetic jerk! If I'd just told her why I make distance from her, this wouldn't have happened. And I freaked out all of a sudden—which I shouldn't have. Argh! I'm such a sore loser!

To give me some space to cool off, I make my way to the place where people don't usually hang out: the parking lot. It's in the back of the school building. There are benches under the trees right next to the narrow road. As expected, there are no people here. All of them are watching the games.

I sit on the bench where the shade is wider because of the bigger tree. The wind is gentle and the brushing of the leaves is like the waves of a windy sea. The sun is high and bright and the sky is clear of clouds. This is why I love this place. This is the only place in the school where I don't have to worry about what other people think of me. Also, this place is where I realized many things about my life. I can't waste my time here playing with my phone or I'll be ungrateful for this peaceful place. Right now, I'm thinking about what I did earlier.

Why do I get so angry when she says I can't get any girlfriend because I have no personal connection with other people? I realized that before she said it to me. I can't describe it but somehow, it's because of my pride. Like, I know I'm a loser and I don't want anyone else to tell that to me. This is some stupid logic.

Clearly, I was in the wrong so I should apologize. After all, I don't have that many friends, and losing one is a great loss for me. Alright, let's find her.

I left the bench and walk back to the field, hoping that I can find her there. The crowd is cheering for their team in the football match that is happening. It's the blue team and the green team's match. All of the players are sweaty and I wonder if they feel this scorching heat. I can't make out the score because I can't see the scorecards from behind the crowd. My goal is to find her so I could care less about their scores.

I move on to the school covered court where the basketball marches are being held. It's a very long walk but I got there in time to see our basketball team. The bleachers are full so I watch the game in front of the entrance.

Hell, the leading score is very high! Our team is in the lead. The opponent is the yellow team. The score is 63-39—what the hell? It's the fourth quarter now and I wish I have seen the rest of the game. John is in the zone right now. He looks like he's enjoying this game. I bet he splashed a good amount of buckets. And he's still shooting some more! Three-pointers! Is he Stephen Curry or something?

Oh, right, back to finding Eli. She belongs in the yellow team so there's a good chance that she's here. And I was right. She's there at the bleachers far in the corner, looking unimpressed as she watches the match. Her classmates are cheering so hard but I don't know for whom. For their losing team or John? The game is over with the buzzer with the final score, 67-41. A 26-point lead is a lot, man.

I stand here beside the exit to wait for her. A lot of people are pouring out of the exit and I'm afraid I might've missed her. She and her classmates were in the farthest corner relative to the exit so they must be the ones leaving the gym lastly. I wait until the density of the leaving crowd becomes thin.

Something's wrong. Why aren't they leaving? Oh, f*ck, I'm so dumb! This is not the only exit! There's an exit near the corner where they are! I gotta catch up to her or maybe just message her—good idea. I pull out my phone from my pocket and checked if she hasn't blocked me yet. Thank goodness, she hasn't!

I type, “Hey” but then erased it because it sounds foolish. “I'm sorry,” I type instead.

For a minute, I just stare at those words, deciding whether to send it or not. What if she won't accept it? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that she'll know I admit that it was my mistake. I finally sent it and there's no turning back. She instantly reads it but never replied. What does this mean? Did she expect that I was going to apologize and she doesn't care if I do? Maybe that's right.

Sighing, I turn off my phone and put it inside my pocket. Then it vibrates. Quickly, I pull it out and find out that she sent a reply. I read it and she says, “K.”

“K”? What does that mean? Does it mean, “Okay”?.

Nonetheless, I need to know if she accepts my apology. “Where are you?” I ask.

It takes her a minute until she replies, “In the parking lot.”

The place where I'm always hanging out? “I'm coming,” I reply before walking fast, heading to that place.

It only took a while until I arrived at the place. She's there sitting on the bench I'm always sitting on. She's looking at her phone with her head slightly tilted, her legs crossed, and her left hand supporting her right elbow. She looks at me but then back to her phone. She scoffs when I stand in front of her.

Hesitating, I speak, “I... I'm s... sorry.” then look to the side, afraid of looking at her glare.

She scooches to her left and with her palm, she taps twice on the space she made. I sit there and feel the awkward air, shivering my spine. She's not saying anything so I figured out I should start the conversation.

“I was in the wrong,” I admit and she's still not saying anything. Maybe she wants me to go on and tell her the reason why I kept my distance from her. I decide to tell her. “I was worried because someone might think that you're dating- uh... hanging out with a loser like me.”

Scoffing, she looks at me and says, “So, that's what it's all about. You have to stop caring about what people might think. Don't let them stop you from hanging out with your friend. F*ck them all and let them be envious that you're hanging out with a hot chick like me—which I'm actually not a chick but you get the point.” She shakes her head. “Anyways, if you let people think that you're easy to bring down, they'll bring you down even more. And by the way, your problem only exists in your head. Stop thinking about it, man. You're becoming an enemy to yourself.”

“I will,” I agree, looking at my knees.

“Ugh... I'm hungry. It's time for lunch. Where should we go?”

“To the karinder-”

“No, not there again, I don't like the place. It's so cramped and humid. It's bad for my skin.”

“Okay, then you choose.”

“Let's go downtown and find a place to eat.”

“In restaurants?”

“Yeah, and don't worry, I'll treat you.”

“You don't have to. I just got my weekly allow-”

“I'll deduct it from your paid training.”

“What?”

“You're my employee but still training. It also means that you're eligible for payment.”

“That's good but is it fine for you?”

“I don't wanna brag but I'm filthy rich.”—it's a genuine brag, actually. “A lunch won't hurt my pockets. Plus, you're the only one I know well in this school, so I can act normally. It's tired pretending to be feminine in front of other people.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“We'll ride a taxi. I already called one so let's wait for it.”

She scrolls down on social media while I just lean back and relax. I can't believe that my apology turned out to be fine. I thought she was gonna make me kneel for forgiveness or something like that but she only required me to tell the truth. She's certainly a good person.

“Our ride has arrived,” she says a minute later. “Let's go.” I stand up and walk beside her.

I'm not worried about what people might think now. All I know is that I'm just walking with my childhood friend—that's all we'll ever be.

Upon going through the gates, a taxi is already there waiting. She opens the door at the back and goes in first. I follow then shut the door.

She says, “Please take us to the downtown, good sir.”

“To the downtown it is,” replies the taxi driver, looking at us with the mirror.

Using her own mirror, she looks at her lips while applying lip tint. I don't know why but I kinda like lip tints on girls. It makes their lips look... juicy and kissable.

“The boys in my class are so stupid,” she says as she touches her lips with her pinky and still looking at the mirror.

“How so?”

“They think I don't know what they're after.”

Now, I get curious. “What do you think they're after?”

“They are hiding it while talking to me but I know that they want to f*ck me,” she says without hesitation. I swallow instantly and look away. “That's what all boys are after. Don't tell me I'm wrong because you know I'm right.”

This person needs to stop generalizing people. “There are some boys who don't think that way towards you.”

“Like you? Am I not good enough for you to f*ck?”