Love in Isolation: Six Book Complete Set

Chapter 7

DAY 4

DAY 4After dinner last night, we talked casually as we cleaned the kitchen and put our leftovers in the fridge. Yet again, I was reminded of how being a selfish teenager affected Eli’s sister, Ava. She’d come over with him, and I could tell she was desperate for a friendship, but I had this false idea in my head of who was allowed in my life. Knowing I hurt a lot of people is something I live with and regret every day. I don’t want to be that person anymore, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right with those I treated poorly.

We said good night and went our separate ways. I still had some homework to finish, but could feel my anxiety spiking. When Eli and I are hanging out, even for like five minutes, I forget that we’re in the midst of a global pandemic. It’s when I’m left alone that reality smacks me in the face. Uncontrollable fear resurfaces and reminds me that this isn’t some nightmare I’m stuck in.

It’s reality.

Chanel wakes me up earlier than usual, nudging me with her nose to feed her. It’s chilly, so I wrap myself in a throw blanket and slide my slippers on before grabbing her dishes and going to the kitchen.

“Okay, okay. Calm down,” I tell her as she meows louder, following me downstairs.

Bruno’s asleep on the couch, and I look around for Eli but don’t see him. Thankfully, Chanel is more concerned about eating than antagonizing the dog this morning.

Once her bowls are full, she follows me back upstairs to my room. That same uneasy feeling that visited last night returns, and I know a panic attack is coming. I’ve gotten them periodically since high school, but I haven’t experienced one in months. Things are starting to get to me, and it hasn’t even been a week.

Crawling back onto the bed, I curl into a ball and wrap my arms around my legs, holding them tight to my body. I close my eyes and slowly count. My heart races even though I’m not moving, and my head is heavy.

After ten minutes, I stand and pace the room, unable to calm down. It agitates me more. My chest tightens, and I know the worst is still to come.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I take deep breaths and try to picture what life was like before all of this happened. Somehow, weeks seem like so long ago.

A knock sounds on the door, and I look up, trying to stabilize my breathing.

“Come in,” I say.

Eli peeks his head inside before opening the door wider. “You okay? I could hear you pacing up here.”

I blow out an unsteady breath and nod. “Just working through a panic attack.” Placing my hands on my knees, I slouch over and close my eyes.

“Jesus, Cami. Let me help,” he says, stepping inside.

“You can’t.” I inhale, then slowly release it. “It’ll eventually pass.”

“Did something trigger it?” he asks, sitting next to me on the bed.

“I don’t really know. Just…everything. All the unknowns are a lot to handle right now,” I explain. “I guess it started to really hit me that this is happening. I was watching some news footage on my phone last night and read a few articles, which didn’t help my anxiety. Then I started thinking about Ryan and how scared I was for him. I tried to sleep through it, but it came back in full force this morning.”

everythingEli stands, then leans down and lifts me until my arms wrap around his neck. “What are you doing?” I squeal.

“Just hold on,” he instructs as he walks us to one of the oversized chairs by the window. I’m still wrapped in a blanket, but my temperature always rises when my anxiety is high. I’ll start sweating soon, but I don’t care.

Eli sits and cradles me against his chest. It settles me, and when I rest my head on his shoulder, he holds me a little tighter.

“This okay?” he whispers softly.

I nod, closing my eyes and snuggling deeper into his chest.

“Remember when Ryan invited me to the Hamptons with you guys the summer before my junior year?” he asks after we sit in silence for a while.

“Yeah,” I say. “Why?”

“It was the first time I saw you in a bikini,” he replies, chuckling. “I was a hormonal teenage boy, thinking very dirty things about my best friend’s little sister. You were only thirteen or fourteen, so I kept telling myself not to stare at you. But it was nearly impossible.” He rubs a soothing hand over my arm, caressing lightly. “You had basically written me off at that point, but I was determined to get your attention any way I could. Even if it was having you tell me off.”

“Is that why you were flirting with Cherise the whole time?” I quip. I brought my best friend with me that week, too, and she thought Eli was cute, which I hated. I didn’t want him to like her, so I kept telling her bad things about him, hoping she’d stop. It didn’t work.

“She flirted with me first!” he defends. “I was innocent.”

That has me grinning. “I was ready to tell her you were gay so she’d leave you alone, but then you kept spewing out s****l innuendos, and I knew she’d never believe me.”

“Wow…thanks.”

Looking up, I peer into his gorgeous green eyes. “I didn’t want her to know I was crushing on you. She would’ve sabotaged me and told everyone, especially you.”

you“And why would that have been so bad?” he asks, studying the sincerity on my face.

“At the time, it would’ve been. Now? Not so much,” I tell him honestly. “I thought you’d think I was a dumb kid, especially after all the fighting we did.”

Eli licks his lips before responding. “Perhaps you weren’t aware of or I hadn’t made it obvious enough, but I had the biggest crush on you in high school.” The corner of his lips sweeps up. “I still do.”

Instead of feeling nauseated like I typically would during one of these attacks, butterflies surface in my stomach and a shiver runs down my back. Our eyes connect as we sit silently, staring at each other. My heart hammers as he leans down, and I tilt my chin upward.

Before our lips can connect, Bruno barges into my room, and Chanel immediately loses her mind. She hisses at him, and he starts chasing her around the bed.

“Bruno, heel!” Eli orders, standing and carefully setting me on my feet.

Chanel runs under the bed, and Bruno has a barking fit. He loudly howls and tries to wedge himself underneath, but he’s too damn big.

“Out, Bruno. Let’s go.” Eli grabs his collar, pulling hard and forcing him into the hallway. A moment later, he returns, closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry about that. He needs to go outside and burn off some energy.”

The whole scene has me laughing. “It’s fine. He likes your attention. I can relate.”

Eli pushes off the wood and saunters toward me. “You feeling okay now?”

Nodding, I flash him a small smile. “Yeah, I think so. Thanks for talking to me and helping me think about something else.”

He brushes a hand through his hair and fixes it. I love when he casually throws it up like this. Eli’s the exact opposite of every guy I’ve ever dated, but it’s why I’ve never been able to get over my feelings for him. I’ve fought them every chance I’ve had, allowing statuses and other’s opinions to affect my choices, but I don’t want to live that way anymore.

“You’re very welcome.” He winks. “I’m gonna take the beast out. Wanna join us?”

“Uh, sure. Let me get dressed, and I’ll meet you out there.”

After he leaves, Chanel slowly comes out from underneath the bed and jumps on my lap. I pet her and try to calm her down because she’s as on edge as I was earlier. “Bruno just wants to be your friend,” I tell her, jokingly.

Once she’s chilled out a bit, I move her off me and find some warm clothes. With leggings, boots, and a sweater under my jacket, I put on a hat and gloves, then go out the back door. Eli is throwing a rubber toy to Bruno, who is happily fetching it. Eli has him dressed in a bright-colored coat.

“Oh, look at Bruno all fancied up.” I giggle.

“Yeah, Dobies can’t be in low temperatures because of their body fat percentage and short hair. He’ll start shaking without it, and I can’t let my boy get cold.” Eli looks me over and smirks.

“Wow, I had no idea. Chanel won’t move an inch when I dress her, and acts like she’s being smothered or something. Bruno’s totally in his element.” I laugh, watching him run around as though it’s no big deal, and place my hands in my pockets.

He lowers his eyes down my body. “You look like you’re going to the North Pole,” he teases. I notice he’s wearing gym shorts and a sweatshirt.

“Not all of us are natural ovens,” I retort, wrapping my arms around my body. “I’m always cold, even in summer.”

“So when I felt you shiver upstairs, it wasn’t because of me?”

I blush, my cheeks heating at his bluntness. “You’re quite full of yourself, aren’t you?”

“Only when I know I’m right.”

Rolling my eyes, I ignore his stare and refuse to admit it. Bruno returns, and as Eli praises him, I lean down and roll snow between my palms. After Eli throws the toy again, he turns toward me, and I throw the snowball directly at his face. He’s so caught off guard, he doesn’t move, and I burst out laughing at his expression.

Brushing off his face, he narrows his eyes at me. “You’re so dead.”

soThe moment he comes for me, I start running. Something hits my back, and when I look over my shoulder, I see he’s leaning down for more snow. Bruno barks at us, chasing us both, and I keep running even though my lungs burn.

“Get her, Bruno!” Eli shouts.

“No!” I yell, laughing so hard I can barely catch my breath. “Go away!”

Of course, Bruno quickly catches up to me and is all up in my s**t, giving Eli the opportunity to tackle me to the ground. He’s on top of me, holding me hostage and grinning like he’s won the Super Bowl.

“Payback, princess.” He cups a handful of snow and holds it over my head.

“No, please, no,” I beg, squinting my eyes. “I’ll do anything!”

“Anything, huh?” He stops and c***s his head, amused.

“Yes! Just don’t get me in the face,” I plead.

Strands of his hair fall over his perfect face as he releases the ball. The scruff over his jawline reaches up to his hairline, and he keeps it nicely trimmed. It’s probably a good thing he has longer hair, considering a haircut is impossible to get right now.

“Alright, I’ll bite.” He flashes an evil grin, and I know whatever he’s gonna make me do will be torturous.

He stands and helps me up, brushing the snow off my jacket. “Tonight.”

“Tonight, what?”

“You will see.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” I say as we walk back to the house.

Bruno is still energized as hell as he gallops into the kitchen, bringing a trail of snow with him. Eli follows me, smirking as I remove my coat.

He walks around me, removing his boots, and looks at me. “I’ll clean up my mess, don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t.” I swallow.

He snorts. “Yeah, right. I can tell when you’re lying.”

Furrowing my brows, I ask, “How?”

“I’ve known you for over ten years, Cami. And for most of that time, when you were around, I watched everything you did. Being observant allowed me to learn a few things about you.”

“You’re starting to sound like a creep,” I tease, taking off my boots.

“Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” He grins, then continues, “Your nostrils flare.”

“What?”

“When you’re lying.”

Immediately, I cover my nose with my hand. “They do not.”

“I bet you hate that I know so much about you,” he says. “But you know a lot about me, too.”

He’s right, I do, but I hadn’t thought about it in a while. “Like how you haven’t cut your hair in seven years.”

“Aside from trims, that’s right.”

“I’m jealous it’s thicker than mine.” I chuckle.

“Gotta use the right products,” he says, smirking. “If you’re nice, I’ll share them with you.”

I place a hand over my chest, faking excitement. “You’re so sweet!”

so“It’s not your three-hundred-dollar shampoos, but it does the job.”

Crossing my arms, I scoff. “I don’t spend that much.”

“Go clean up and do what you gotta do. You owe me, and I want payment tonight,” he says, walking backward toward the staircase and pointing at me. “After dinner.”

“Well, I should be relieved you aren’t going to make me cook again, but somehow, this sounds more terrifying.”

He grins, waggling his brows, then turns and walks up the staircase with Bruno following.

When he’s out of sight, I let out a sigh and go to the kitchen. As I make a smoothie and think about how much has changed in only a few days, I can’t contain my smile. He admitted he had a crush on me—and still does—and I realized those feelings I had for him have never faded. They’ve always been bubbling under the surface, and I’ve constantly fought to keep them under control, but not anymore.

Eli made me feel comfortable and not at all like a burden when I was at my most vulnerable. It’s hard for me to admit I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, but instead of judging me, he stepped right into action. I should’ve known Eli would want to help, and I’m so thankful he did. My thoughts drifted away from our reality as he held me, and I feel a hundred times better now. Though the circumstances suck, I’m so damn grateful he’s here with me.

Whatever he has planned for us, I’m in. If it means spending more time with him, I’d agree to just about anything.