Eye Candy - My Superstar System

020

Sunday, 26th February 2017 1055hrs

I was about to complete the task for the day when my foot got tripped by one of the books that were jutting right at the bottom of the pile. At first, I nearly cursed out loud when I was tripped by a book which I thought I had cleared from the bottom pile.

I straightened my back as I caught my balance and looked at the jutting book that managed to catch my sneakers and nearly made me fall on top of a pile of books that I had set on the floor according to the genre before placing them in their respective bins.

I scrunched my eyebrows as I saw the familiar gold trimmings and I cannot help it but pulled the book out from the bottom of the pile and nearly launched an avalanche of books.

It was yet another Skill Book on Basic Jokes. W H A T??? Jokes? Are you joking me? Why should I be needing a joke book and would one really need a skill book on basic jokes? I am a musician and I don’t think my lyrics in my past songs contained any kind of jokes.

Why should I be telling a joke since I am a singer/musician/composer and bandleader? Is this a stupid joke to pull on me or what? I was about to toss the book once more when Sue stopped me once more.

Oh No!!! Don’t tell me, Sue, the system wants me to get the Basic Jokes to add to my musicality!?!? She must be joking too!!!

“Wait, Matthew. Don’t toss the book back into the pile. Do you how important is that book to an entertaining person like you? You cant be going up on stage and then start singing, am I right? What you would need to do is to communicate with your audiences. That’s where the Basic Book on Charisma comes in.”

“Furthermore, your outlook is important, that’s why the Basic Book of Fashion comes into play. As the camera zoom in from a wide-angle and right up to you, the Basic Skill of Makeup also plays a great part!”

“Next comes the Basic Skill of Manipulation where you would be conversing with your audiences and have them literally to eat your words from the palm of your hands!”

“Last but not least, if you or your band members happen to snap a G-string on stage, you can crack a joke with the audience and tell them how someone had snapped the G-String and walked around with it around their ankles! It’s a joke! Everyone will laugh at it and forgive you and your band members for playing on stage with a missing string on a bass or a guitar!”

“You see, Basic Jokes is important. It is a form of pulling one’s leg on stage or maybe you can tell a joke on one of your songs as you got the idea while sitting on the toilet bowl and was humming the song as your pop flows out! Hahaha!!!”

“Who knows there would be a song for you to write with a theme like that?”

Sue the system really can see into the future, I know of one song that was written some years back that was themed as “The OK Toilet Bowl Song”. It was written by StevenSteven® and was a hit among the children! Such audacity could be found in record stores all over the world and it is classified as children’s music!

“So you wanted me to get this book and then write songs based on poop, pee, puke and fart all at the same time?”

“You’re getting somewhere, Matthew. That’s the whole idea. You cater songs to the adults and also the children and children loved to listen to all the funny weird sounding songs and they would follow and sing along with them too. It would be the first in Britain and the Queen would be delighted of it too!”

“Blimey! Do not get Her Queen to get involved in this matter, shall we? If not we would not be able to compose songs fit for Our Queen Her Majesty unless its “If You Want To Live Forever!” I thought to myself since I know I got a lot of songs in my head right now that would be put into words and then it would be all done once I made the scores and the arrangement.

Talking about scores and arrangements, that would also need a new Skill Book, I suppose. I wondered if there is such a book within the pile of books here that was slowly reduced by my tenacious attention to gathering the books in the right genre for the past few days.

At this moment, if I keep this up for another week, I would have cleared all the pile of books and into their respective bins where the associates would be arranging them on the bookshelves right after I leave. They would not be interfering in my work at all since they could see how I well I put in the effort to settle my tasks each morning before I leave for my overtime work.

Besides, I am doing this work for free without asking for anything back and had given Mr Edwards several of the Skill Books that I had found and wondered how much their value is and would like to buy them at a discounted price. As Sue, the system had mentioned, try to haggle the price that was set by the owner and so I shall when the time comes!

I hand over the Skill Book to Mr Edwards and he seemed delighted that I had discovered four Skill Books so far from the pile of books and had given to Mr Edwards for safekeeping and to check if its in the records or something. I am not sure what he meant and I hope I could get the books at a steal and by tonight, I would be paid for my 6 days of work including the overtime pay! That would be swell, laddie! That’s going to be £900 and I could at least get 1 book a week and by end of several months, I would have gotten all the books required!

“Be seeing you tomorrow, Mr Edwards. Please do let me know how are the 4 books and at least I could offer you to buy them from you if its in the records or something. Thank you so much!”

“No, thank you, young man. I am the one who should be thanking you. Besides, you have done a great job and you would be able to complete this whole pile of books in a week or so. If you keep coming in around this time like today, you would be able to complete clearing all the books to their respective bins and genre!”

“That’s right, Mr Edwards. See you tomorrow then. Cheerio!”

I bade farewell to Mr Edwards and as I walked to Russell Square Station, I thought I would spare some time to go to Tesco to find out about energy drinks that would help me clear my mind and the drinks would be able to support mental function as I would be embarking on the books once I lay my hands on them!