Good Girl, Bad Alpha

The morning after

That night I sleep terribly. I am tossing and turning. One moment I feel too hot and the next I feel too cold. My wolf is craving my mate's attention and touch. I wake up every two hours or so. And by the time it is 7 o'clock in the morning I give up and decide to get up out of bed. I wrap a bathrobe around my body to keep myself warm and walk into the bathroom. The bright light of the bathroom makes me flinch. I splash some cool water on my face to wake me up a little more. The woman staring back at me in the mirror is a completely different one that I saw yesterday. Yesterday I felt like a princess, today I feel like staying in bed and doing nothing all day. My wolf is just as tired as I am. Instead of waking my mother, I decide to go to the restaurant alone and get some breakfast. Last night's food was delicious so I can only imagine how good the breakfast will be. I get dressed in some comfortable clothes and tie my hair up into a loose bun. I assume not many people will be awake at this hour, especially given how much wine was involved in the event. As I walk down the hallway I decide to take the stairs instead. A few extra steps will give me the opportunity to wake up a little more. Usually, if I was feeling the way I do now I would go for a long walk in the nearby forest or go for a run, allowing my wolf to stretch her legs out. But that is unfortunately not an option for me right now. If I were to leave the hotel premises unattended id have a whole search party after me within minutes. That is the last thing I need. As I am walking down the neverending flight of stairs I am thinking back to last night. I try my best to remember every moment I looked at Alexander or touched him. How I crave for those moments to replay again. Not knowing where my mate is right now, hurts my wolf. What if he spent the night with the girl on the dance floor? He wouldn't do that, would he? All this overthinking makes my stomach turn. I need to stop thinking about the worst-case scenario or else I will not be able to keep my breakfast down. Is this what my life has come to now? Spending all my alone time wondering why my mate behaves the way he does and questioning whether he even feels the same way about me that I feel towards him? I sigh and walk into the restaurant which for the most part is empty. There are a few staff members here and there setting up various types of food for guests to enjoy. I fill a small plate up with some fruit and cereal and sit down in the corner furthest from the door. I feel secure from all others here which allows me some time to clear my head. But before I can begin enjoying my food I am disturbed by a man pulling the chair in front of me out and taking a seat. I look up and recognise him immediately. He is one of the security guards allocated to escorting me yesterday.

"Good morning, you should not be wandering the hotel alone," he says respectfully. I nod. "I know, I just need some time to myself," I tell him. He does not seem to get the hint as he continues sitting in the chair, watching me closely. "Do you not want something to eat?" I ask him, hinting for him to walk away again. "I do not eat on the job," he states in a mono-toned voice. I roll my eyes. "Listen, I know you are just doing your job but I really want to be alone right now. You don't even have to leave, just go sit somewhere else," I suggest to him, growing more frustrated. He doesn't move a muscle. Is this the life of a Luna Supreme? I sigh and stare at him without blinking. Maybe I can intimidate him. "I have received strict rules to be within two meters of you at all times when you are outside of your suite," he informs me. "This is for your own safety," he assures me. Before I can argue, Alexander appears behind him. I watch as he places his hand firmly on the guard's shoulder and squeezes it. "I think the lady made it very clear that she wishes to be alone," he states, looking directly at me as he speaks. At first, the guard seems annoyed, he turns sharply in his chair to confront the man standing behind him but when he recognises Alexander, his face drops. "But sir," he begins but Alexander cuts him off. "I'm not asking, it's an order," he confirms. The guard drops his head in defeat and stands up without saying another word. He bows his head at me and walks away, but not too far he sits down again a few tables from me. I continue staring at him for a moment before turning my attention to my mate. But he is already walking away. "Alexander?" I call after him. He stops mid-step and looks back at me. "Where are you going?" I question. He shrugs. "You said you wanted to be alone," he reminds me. I did say that. I nod and he begins walking away. "Alexander!" I call out again, forcing him to stop for the second time. "Yes?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. "Will you stay with me?" I ask him. He seems confused by that at first. "Please?" I add. I hate to beg but if anyone is to stay with me, it is him. Plus it gives me a chance to speak to him again which might not happen again for a long time.

"So you do not want to be alone?" he questions. I shrug. "It is complicated," I answer, making him chuckle. "Okay, I will stay," he says and takes the seat directly in front of me. My heart skips a beat. My mate actually wants to sit with me. It feels like high school all over again. "How did you sleep?" he questions as I finally begin eating my breakfast. "Not great to be honest," I answer. He can probably tell by the bags under my eyes and my unprofessional looks. "How about you?" I ask him. When I scan his face he looks exactly how he did yesterday, well put together yet somehow a little scruffy. I think it is the stubble. "Me too. I found it hard to stay asleep," he admits. I pout. "Sounds like both of us should be in bed right now trying to get our beauty sleep," I comment, taking another spoon full of my breakfast. "So what you're saying is that you want to get into bed with me?" he asks raising his eyebrows in surprise. I almost choke on my food, making me cough and burn bright red. "That's not what I meant," I begin to clarify, earning a chuckle from Alexander. His laugh makes me melt inside. I am so shocked at the impact this man already has on me. I gather myself and begin giggling. He is quite funny. "So what kept you up all night?" he questions after I have finally cleared my throat of all the food I was choking on. "Can I be honest with you?" I ask him. "Please do," he answers. I sit up straight in my chair and move it a little closer to the table. "I was up all night thinking about you," I admit. I am unsure of whether I should be telling him this or not, but I do not care. My father has always told me that the best approach to solving problems is to face them with honesty and a clear mind. A mixture of pride and guilt appears on Alexander's face. "What about you?" I ask him but he ignores my question. "Was it good or bad thoughts?" he asks me.

"I don't know. Bad maybe. Or good. Both," I answer truthfully. Alexander is deep in thought. "I never meant for things to get complicated like this," he admits. It seems like he took the entire night to think things through, which makes me very hopeful that this relationship might go in the right direction. "It's not too late to try again," I point out. He chuckles. "It still doesn't make things any less complicated," he adds. I sigh. Of course not. I am foolish to believe that a man would change for the better overnight. "So what do you suggest?" I ask him. I look around and find that the restaurant is starting to fill up as time goes by. I should be heading back to my suite soon. I do not want my mother to worry. "Can I be honest?" he asks, taking me by surprise. "Yes, please," I answer. "There are too many details to discuss the whole story with you now. But I am not rejecting you. At least not for now," he begins. My heart sinks at those words. The thought itself makes my chest ache. A shiver goes through my body. Alexander notices my discomfort, making him frown. "I am not good for you," he admits. "I am not the type of man you need in your life. Those guys you were dancing with yesterday, that is what you need. Not me. I will bring you nothing but trouble and worry. I am not proper like those guys. I do not care about events like this," he begins to rant but I cut him off. "You do not get to say who is right or wrong for me," I argue. "The only person who can decide that is me," I remind him. He barely knows me. "You have a duty," he states. "And so do you!" I argue, raising my voice a little too far and drawing unwanted attention to us. I receive an angry look from Alexander. I know, I know. I must stay quiet because this situation is a secret. "We are not the same. You have a duty to the Supreme Pack. I have duties to the Blackrock pack. The werewolf community relies on you," he says. I roll my eyes. "Your pack relies on you," I remind him. Is he looking to get out of being an Alpha? "My duty right now is to protect you. If I fail at that I will fail as an Alpha in my father's eyes, losing my position in the role," he blurts out. "I will not let you or your father down, even if it means that I have to protect you from myself," he adds. At this point, I am holding my breath. "There must be another way," I state making him chuckle. "You are a very optimistic person," he points out.

The restaurant is becoming very busy now and I am growing increasingly concerned about my mother who will wake up at any moment. "I have to go back before my mother finds out I left the room without her," I say to Alexander. "Allow me to escort you," he suggests and I agree. That way I won't have to worry about the other guard following me around and invading my personal space again. Alexander helps me up from my chair and we begin walking out of the restaurant. He walks closely behind me. I can't help but smile. I know what he is doing, I have seen trained men do this before. He is standing behind me to ensure I am protected from the back and making sure he can also see everything in front of me to protect me from the front. My wonder is if he is doing this as my mate or as my security guard. Something that will bother my mind for a long time unless he resides from being my security. From what I have learned to date, that is not much of an option for him. When we reach the lifts he presses the button for me and allows me to enter first. My mate seems to be a gentleman despite how hard he tries to appear ruthless and dangerous. When the doors close I turn to him. "So what you are telling me is that there is no way for us to be together as mates?" I ask him, breaking the long silence. We have not spoken to each other since we left the restaurant. "I don't know," he answers shortly. I scoff. "That answer is not good enough," I argue. "How can you just pretend that none of this matters to you?" I ask him feeling frustrated. He stares at the doors ahead of him, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. "What have I done to deserve a mate who hates me?" I say. I was not planning on saying those words out loud. I just happen to be thinking out loud. I look over to Alexander to see his reaction to my harsh words, but instead of seeing him, I find myself being pushed backwards. Alexander's hands are both on me and he is aggressively pressing me against the wall of the lift. I gasp as all the air is knocked out of my lungs.

I don't know if I should scream or try to protect myself. I am scared and this emotion translates on my face. I look up at Alexander whose face is very close to mine, his eyes are dark and his pupils are dilated. "I do not hate you," he mutters under his breath. He inhales deeply, enjoying my scent. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking me right in the eye. "My wolf needs you. He wants you. It takes all my strength to not f*ck you against this wall. But instead, I chose to control myself. I chose to behave in a way that is acceptable to your kind," he states in a deep voice. My breathing becomes heavy as he leans closer to me. There are sparks flying throughout my body but I am frozen in shock. "You're s-scaring me," I stutter, trying to push him off me. I have finally found the courage to speak. He sighs and lets me go, just in time for the door of the lift to open, revealing Alexander's father. "There you are!" he says, lifting his arms in the air slightly in surprise. I flinch at the sudden movement. I am still very shaken up. This seems to surprise him as he looks over at his son for an explanation. "Jasmine wanted some breakfast so I ensured to escort her so she was safe," says Alexander before walking out of the lift. He walks down the hall at great speed. I watch him walk away before deciding that I am not going to let things end like this. I begin chasing him down the hallway. Franks watches me run after his son with a confused look on his face. But there is no time to explain.

Alexander unlocks the door to his hotel room, trying to close it behind him but I am too fast. I use all my strength to push his door open again and force my way into his room. He is standing before me with a surprised look on his face. "What the f*ck was that?!" I shout, slamming the door behind me. "Jasmine, leave," he orders as he begins pacing around the room. I roll my eyes which seems to annoy him more. "I told you to leave," he repeats himself as I refuse to move. "You're insane," I comment, stepping back. Maybe I shouldn't have followed him here. He looks over at me with an angry expression on his face. "Why the f*ck do you struggle with obeying orders?" he asks me. "Why the f*ck do you think you get to tell me what to do?" I mock him. This puts a small smile on his face, to my surprise. "I told you, I am not good for you," he reminds me. I shake my head. "You do not get to tell me what is good for me and what is not! If you had just taken the time to properly talk to me instead of avoiding any adult conversation with me, we would not be in this mess. Just how bad can you be? Why is it so hard for you to accept the concept of being loved? Or happy? Does having a mate scare you so much that you are willing to hurt me?" I ask him. All my emotions are pouring out now. There is no going back. Alexander sits down on the bed and takes deep breaths.

"Fine. You want to talk? Let's talk. You are driving me crazy. Your smell, your smile, your voice, your body. Crazy," he begins, taking me by surprise. "I am disciplined, I have control over my wolf. I have control over my urges. I have control over everything in my life. And now, you show up, and everything I previously knew about myself is gone. I have no control. My wolf craves you. I crave you. As much as the idea of being with you sounds good to me, I know we are bad for each other. You need a man who will be capable of leading the Supreme Pack by your side. I am not that man. I am free. I am unbothered. I cause trouble and do not care for the rules. We are completely different. I do not want to ruin you. I do not want to ruin your life. You are too precious and innocent for that. Too precious and too innocent for me," he rants. He takes a deep breath and then lies down on the bed. He seems exhausted.

"Then ruin me," I say after a few seconds. Alexander sits up from his bed and looks me directly in the eyes. "What did you say?" he asks. "Then ruin me," I repeat. He scoffs and stands up, taking a few steps toward me. "Did you not hear everything I just told you?" he questions. I shrug. "I may have a lot to learn about you, but you also have a lot to learn about me," I point out. "I am not giving up on you. I am not giving up on us," I add. He looks me up and down, processing my words. "You're f*cking crazy," he mutters and crashes his hot, soft lips against mine in a heated kiss.