Pleasure & Confusion

CHAPTER 14

Last night was wonderful. I finally slept with Soul and oh wow!

He wasn't as good as Dean or Holden but it was still intense and he was so soft and romantic.

Rose petals all over the bed, candles everywhere and fizzy grape juice--a pregnant craving--with chocolate covered strawberries!

It's as though he read my mind, followed my heart and was making up for all the s**t I'd been through over the past few months.

In the middle of the night, I'd also woken up to fluttery kicks in my stomach!

It was the most amazing feeling!

I get my first scan next week as my doctor couldn't fit me in for one until then.

The idea of seeing my baby for the first time is so exciting and heartwarming.

Would it be a girl or boy?

Would they be Alpha blood or not? Thus meaning Holden's or Dean's?

I couldn't care less either way. They're both my mates and they both rejected me at the same time.

I thank the heavens I didn't let them mark me or I'd have their emotions, thoughts and feelings. I'd have the link with them, which includes feeling them when they f**k someone else.

At least I can stay naive.

That's all that really keeps me going.

Don't get me wrong, Soul is amazing, thoughtful, generous and caring but he isn't my mate.

I may have never wanted a mate but at least I had found them before losing them.

As the saying goes: It's better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.

Right now, I am cuddled up on the sofa.

Soul is out meeting some old friends this evening, so I'm having a relaxing evening to myself. This consists of:

-Sofa

-TV

-Diet cola

-A large pepperoni pizza

-My weight in cookie dough ice cream.

Lush!

I'm in front of the TV and gorging on a tub of ice cream, huddled up in a thick fleecy blanket.

I feel content and relaxed.

Safe and warm.

Me.

My evening alone is halted by a knock at my front door.

"Who the f**k could that be?" I sigh, curling the duvet around me and stomping out with a sour look on my face to the front door.

I pull it open, and start sprouting off. "Whatever it is, it better be good!" I snap before looking up.

My eyes widen, and my wolf wakes up and stares as far out as me.

"What the f**k do you two want?" I snap. "You have no right turning up here after what you put me through!"

Both of my mates lower their heads with ashamed looks in their faces.

So they bloody well should!

"I'm sorry Lizzie. We need to speak to you! It's urgent!" Holden says softly, before going all Alpha business on me.

I roll my eyes. "What's so important that you're here gone 10 at night?!"

"It's the guy you're seeing..." Dean answers this time. I grit my teeth. "How the hell do you know about him? What does he have to do with you? He's here for me. Not you. So butt out!"

"NO!" Dean shouts before barging past me.

I groan, knowing I'm not going to win against two stubborn pig-headed males.

"Make yourself at home!" I snap sarcastically.

I follow them through to my living room where they're both stood.

I go and return to the sofa, grabbing my prenatal vitamins and the bottle of cola, taking two tablets and swigging them back.

They don't stay down for long. f*****g morning sickness. Should I say all day and night sickness!

I jump to my feet and rush out of the room with my hand over my mouth.

I know I won't make it to the bathroom so I head for the kitchen sink. I throw up the entire pizza, most of the ice cream and the two tablets I just took. My eyes streaming as the hot burning pain fills my throat with the stomach acid making its way up.

I feel a spark as somebody takes my hair, holding it while rubbing my back soothingly.

I groan and stand when the nausea eases.

I rinse out the sink, and grab a plastic cup, filling it with cold water from the faucet.

I turn and look as both Dean and Holden look at me with worry.

"What?!" I snap. I'm not in the mood for games right now. I feel like death warmed up.

"Are you ok?" Holden asks gently.

I shake my head. "No. Really, I'm not. I've been rejected twice over, I'm dating someone I may have loved once but my feelings have changed and I'm dealing with the most upsetting thing for any woman, wolf or human to deal with! Life ain't easy!"

Dean sighs and runs his hands through his hair. I know him well enough to know he's feeling powerless. Something he hates.

"Can we talk Lizzie? Please? Just hear us out." Holden asks.

I know I won't get them out of my flat, so I nod and make my way back to the living room. I see the food and back away from the sofa, nausea taking over again.

"Can someone get the food and cola out of here. I'm gonna hurl!" I moan, holding my stomach.

I watch as both of them, at inhuman speed collect up everything and take it out into the kitchen.

Just then I feel a rather strong kick. My baby knows their daddy is here. It's obvious.

I stroke my little bump, and sigh. "It's ok. Don't worry." I murmur, looking down at it.

I hear someone clearing their throat, and I jump, looking up into two pairs of wide eyes.

"It's true!" Dean gasps.

"We're having a baby?" Holden questions.

I sigh, I knew I couldn't keep this a secret for long. "Yes, I am having a baby." I state, making it clear it was my baby, not theirs.

"Do you err..." Dean falters.

I know what he's trying to ask a question I don't have the answer to.

"No I don't know who's baby it is, but the baby sure knows its one of you!"

Holden's eyes light up. "Really?" He whispers in amazement.

I nod."Yup. I'm being kicked a thousand times a minute."

The looks on their faces, it's like Christmas has come early!!

"Can we just deal with why you're here?" I sigh, wanting them out of my flat before I beg them to come back to me.

I sit down on the sofa, and both of them follow, sitting either side of me.

"Right. I guess we should start from the beginning... Dean?" Holden murmurs.

Dean nods and begins to talk. "I had a phone call this morning... it was a guy claiming to be your boyfriend. He was warning me against you. He said I was an i***t for rejecting you and he was going to take my place."

"He then told me he is working for his 'master', who wants to bring down Holden's pack. As we all know, the best way to the pack is the Alpha, and to get to the Alpha, you go for his..."

"...mate." I gasp.

"Right." Dean continues. "So he then told me he was going to take advantage of the fact that he has you before he kills you and your pup."

My heart stumbles before picking up triple time.

"That's where I come in." Holden sighs. "Dean turned up at the pack house and filled me in. We decided we needed to speak to you first before doing anything. Not only is this guy threatening to take down the pack for some unknown master, but he's threatening to end your life and the pup. We can't watch that happen."

Soul wouldn't do this to me!

He loves me!

He's known me since I was in high school. He's my best friend!

My everything!

How? He couldn't! He wouldn't!

"You're lying! You're just trying to hurt me so I stay single. Soul loves me! He's always loved me. He is charming, thoughtful, generous, caring and understanding. He is not the man you are thinking of. You must be confusing him with somebody else." I state, sounding so sure of myself.

"So you're seeing someone else too?" Dean snaps.

I open my mouth to answer, but end up looking like a goldfish. My mouth opening and closing every few seconds.

I shake away the hurt and answer. "How dare you even think that!"

How dare he!!

"I'm sorry. I just... if he's not the guy then somebody is lying! We have to find out for sure."

Just then a phone starts ringing.

It's Holden's.

He pulls out his phone from his jeans pocket, and answers.

"Yup? Err... no. What? You're f*****g serious!! No, I'm not. Err... that's none of your business. Right. I'm on my way."

Holden looks up at Dean, and then at me. "We all have to go now! A group of rogues have started at the pack house. They're demanding to see us. All of us."

I swallow hard. "Why? Why all of us? This should prove Soul isn't the guy!"

Holden shrugs. "I have no idea but if it's not him, life will be easier for all of us."

My heart breaks at his formal voice and words. "You just don't care do you? You'd rather reject me and let me stay with Soul, someone who's not my mate, than give up your pride to try and sort this out!"

I am fuming but I have to force my anger down before my wolf takes over and I shift, endangering the life of my unborn pup.

"Get out! Both of you!"

They look at each other, and then me. "We are not leaving you here on your own unprotected." Dean states.

"Like hell am I going with you! Not after what you just said! I'm done trying to fight my wolf. I'm done trying to stand up for you. I'm done waiting around for you two to come to your senses. I'm done trying to think of the good times we shared. None of it f*****g matters to you! I'm just the girl that f****d up your lives! Now get the hell out!"

Just then I hear a key in the door, and in walks a scratched up, bloodied Soul.

I gasp and rush over. "What happened? Are you ok? Soul! Look at me! Baby, please?" I flutter my hands in the air uselessly.

I hear low growls behind me, but I chose to ignore them.

Soul looks up at me, and sighs. "A group of strong rogues passed me and beat me up cos I was in their way. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I gasp, and wrap my arms around his waist. "It's ok baby. Let me clean you up." I murmur, pulling him to the kitchen... but he stopped me.

"Who are they?" He asks, pointing to Dean and Holden who are following in protective mode.

"Nobody important." I turn around to them. "Weren't you just leaving?" I ask spitefully.

Dean grits his teeth. "No. Not until HIS story checks out! Right now it doesn't."

He moves closer with one step. "I know his voice! It was you on the phone! It was YOU!"

Soul looks at me confused. "See?!" I snap. "He hasn't got a clue what you're talking about so back the hell off and get out!"

Dean and Holden admit defeat and leave my flat, shutting the front door behind them.

Thank f**k for that!

I turn and start to work, cleaning up Soul's wounds.