Alice
I lift my hand up to wave as soon as I see my friend, Juliet walks into the café. She smiles, striding excitedly towards me before pulling me in for a hug. It's not like I haven't seen my best friend in ages but it's how we always greet each other. We've gotten used to it along the way.
"I'm sorry for being late," Juliet says, putting down a few shopping bags beside her seat.
"You're never known for being punctual," I respond, smirking as she nods her head; agreeing. "How was shopping? I'm pretty sure you're starving now."
"You have no idea,"
Juliet and I have always been friends since high school. We met in class and somehow, we just clicked right away. Then, she introduced me to her group of friends because as a new student, I didn't know anyone. Juliet was my first friend after I've left my old friends behind. That's how I got to know Eric, my biggest regret. Nevertheless, I'm glad it was all in the past and we've agreed on better terms.
Eric was my boyfriend in high school and throughout university. Despite the mental abuse, it was nice knowing how much someone can mean to you until they just don't anymore. Maybe, Eric and I are always better off as friends. He could get possessive and he was making sure, I had followed his ways. He wasn't my main choice when I had something to discuss, even though he was my boyfriend. After breaking up with him, we're back to being friends but I've always kept my distance.
Then, there's Teresa, Ian and Denise. Teresa was pretty close with Eric until she found out about his psychotic ways with me. She was there throughout the relationship, she helped me get through my mental breakdowns and she literary beat the crap out of Eric when he didn't care about me. Teresa's protective, she cares for her friends and she is doing her best to protect the circle. For Ian, well, he's more like Teresa too. I'm glad they're my best friends.
Denise is the one that has big plans in her life. I mean, don't get me wrong, we all do but for Denise, she's serious about her plans. She would want to achieve new goals every year and so far . . . it's working out for her. We are always there to support because we all know she's quite the overachiever. Denise is not very fond of Eric after what happened but she's trying to open up to him again.
Eric's a good person. He just wasn't good for me.
"So, Teresa told me you met a cute guy." Juliet speaks up, breaking me from my own thoughts.
"When did she tell you that?"
Her eyes look straight into mine, "I went to her house the other day and she told me all about it. Apparently, you met this cute guy at the charity event which was a month ago."
"I was going to tell you in person but looks like Teresa beat me to it," We both laugh, knowing how Teresa is. I remember calling her and spilling everything, she was really into the story because she has always wanted me to meet someone new and fall in love. It has been years since Eric.
"It's nothing. Tell me more about this guy. What's his name?" She smiles, showing her excitement.
"Damon,"
"Oh wow, Damon? He sounds hot,"
My cheeks heat up as soon as I remember the feeling of his lips on mine. They were soft and it felt surreal, that night was nothing like I've ever experienced. His presence was intriguing, he drew an aura with no other match. Even his gaze attracts me, he's a mystery waiting to be solved.
"He is," I blink, "A very attractive man."
"Well . . . did you get his number?"
"No, I didn't."
Juliet frowns, "Why not?"
"I don't know. I forgot I guess," As lame as that sounds, it's the truth. At that exact moment, all I could think of was him—what he was doing to me, what he was making me feel. I couldn't think straight. "I don't know, Juliet. I just think it's too early for me."
"After Eric?"
"Yes, after Eric."
"Not everyone is Eric."
"I know—"
She cuts me off, "—Alice, it has been years. You need to move on and think about yourself. You deserve to be happy. Ever since you and Eric broke up, I can't count the amount of girls he has been seeing."
"I am happy. I have moved on," I state.
"You're right. You have and you are very happy. I'm sorry," She shakes her head before leaning back on her seat, "I just want you to experience it all again with someone new. You are happy, I just want to see you happy with someone."
I smile, "I know. I will one day,"
"Eric was an asshole. Always will be," Juliet sighs, her eyes wandering around. "You know, I don't know why I didn't join to beat him up. He deserved it,"
We laugh, recalling these stupid memories.
"Damon was a bit weird though," I think back of the mysterious man. "Something was off. He just seemed out of this place. Out of this world, even."
Juliet chuckles, "Because he's too damn attractive?"
"Haha, very funny. He's just different,"
"Well, if things are meant to be then it will be. You're right, you don't need a man to be happy. You're happy and striving on your own. I would drink to that," She raises her hand to call out for the waitress, ordering her favourite drink of the day. A caramel latte.
"I'd drink to that as well,"
I glance down at my phone to look at the time before continuing the conversation, "Are you excited about getting married and actually becoming someone's wife?"
"Heck, I'm nervous. Don't get me wrong, I love Will. That's also one of the reasons why I'm cancelling the bachelorette party," She replies, making me raise an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that."
"So . . . I'm hearing from you, Juliet, a party animal. You want to cancel your bachelorette party? No strippers, no clubbing, no drinking and getting drunk? Am I hearing this correctly? Is this really my friend, Juliet?" I laugh, taking a sip of my own coffee.
She laughs, "I just think that's all a waste of time."
"Okay, I agree. You're right,"
"That's why I'm inviting you all to Portland!" She exclaims excitedly as if she had just said 'Spain' but it was very clear, she said Portland.
"Portland? Oregon?" I ask.
"Yes, Portland. In Oregon,"
"Okay . . . just us girls?"
"I'm inviting all of us. Will's also going to be there. We're going to have so much fun. Just imagine hanging around and drinking as we talk, have a proper conversation, recall back all the stupid things we did as kids." She continues on, "I think it would be fun. We can also have a barbecue, just us. We get to hang out again,"
"Eric's going to be there . . ."
She stays quiet for a few seconds, "Yeah but so will the rest of us. I promise you, he's not the same. He's different now,"
I sigh, "When? This weekend?"
"Yup! Is that okay with you?"
My eyes wander around, trying to think of an acceptable excuse. Truth be told, my relationship with Eric was not the worst thing that had happened to me. It was a brief lesson for me to become someone better, not to depend on anyone and I have learnt from that. Eric has taught me to depend on myself, be strong not just physically but mentally in order to survive. He made me want to be better.
So, with Eric being there this weekend, it's not a bad idea. It's not a good one but it's bearable. He was my friend before he was my boyfriend and now we're back to being friends. I would be uncomfortable. He might piss me off or bring me bad memories from our past relationship but Juliet said he's different. She knows he is different.
I trust my best friend. I just . . . don't trust myself.
"Look . . . Alice, did he do something to hurt you while you guys were together? Did he ever—you know?" She starts to trail off, leaving me to frown. "Physically abuse you?"
"You're asking if he ever hit me?" I blink. No.
"Yeah, I mean—don't get me wrong. You seem afraid. You're acting like you're scared of him,"
Scared? Afraid? I am far from those. I've been running away from the bad memories for years and now, I'm finally breathing properly. Eric was a bad past, he made me fear of being in another relationship, he made me think there was only him. It was his fault. It was mine, too. For believing.
I believed his lies. His manipulations.
If Juliet could go through what I did, she would've done the same. She would've avoided Eric whenever she can. I can't say that we're in the same shoes. Will treats her like a princess, they work out on fixing the relationship instead of each other, they never blame. After she met Will, she hasn't stopped glowing.
It shows. She's happy.
"I'm not," I respond.
"Well, did he? Hurt you?"
I chuckle, "He never did hurt me like that. We weren't happy but neither of us was abusive,"
"I just wanted to know." She grabs my hand, smiling. "I don't want you to hide things from me especially when it is in our circle. I'd leave Eric out . . . you know that? If he did unspeakable things to you, I'd leave him out."
"Thanks, Juliet. That's nice of you,"
"I don't like abusers."
"Nobody does,"
Juliet sighs, shaking her head. "I kept thinking about my mum before she left my dad. I don't know how she could handle all the torture,"
"Your mum's a strong woman," I reply. "And, she did a good job in leaving his stupid ass behind."
We both laugh, "He was f*****g stupid."
Juliet's mum is a single mother, she raised her all by herself after dumping her husband. Apparently, she was left with no money to care for her or Juliet but she made her own brand, she became a person no one thought she could. Exactly from zero, she became one of the top fashion designers in the world; she became a millionaire.
It's an aspiring story for Juliet. Her mum was abused and she was nearly left to die before she defended herself.
"Alice, come with us. Please."
"Juliet . . ."
"I would be the happiest woman in the world. I want you to be there and we can spend time together."
"How can I say no?"
Juliet squeals in happiness as she jumps up from her seat. Almost half of the people in the café has turned to look at us as soon as she lunges herself towards me in a tight hug. My airway seems to have been cut off before she pulls herself away, smiling widely. "You just made my day!"
"Your day was already made,"
"Yeah . . . well, you just made it better!"
"Yay, can't wait to go to Portland." I reply, sarcastically before receiving another hug from my best friend.
Sometimes, I'd die for this woman. Sometimes, I want her to die. Regardless of the situation, we're best friends. I would never miss the best moments of her life, I would never want to disappoint her especially when she never did disappoint me in her life. She's my rock.
"You're going to love it. We're not going to be the same,"
"Why is that?"
"You know, we've been to many countries together. We have travelled half of the world and we were seeking for great places to stop by. We were impressed by their cultures and their cities but now . . . we're just going to Portland." She continues to speak with a smile on her face and her eyes shining brightly, "There's nothing in Portland. We wouldn't be seeking for great places, we'd be spending time together. We would be enjoying our own comfort. We'd focus more on us,"
"I can't agree more," I smile.
It's true. We'd be spending time together.
We wouldn't be taking pictures to show them online on our social medias. We wouldn't be buying expensive things to bring home. We wouldn't even be trying out new cafés or restaurants. It's all about spending time together. It's just us and we'd focus more on that. We'd focus more on actually having a conversation. We'd be present.
"I can't wait. I'm so excited!" She exclaims.
Juliet's a lucky woman. To find true love at such a young age and being able to marry the love of her life. There's nothing else that would ruin it for her. She has all the good energy in the world.