Next Time I Fall

Chapter One Eric heard the rapid tapping of Drake’s nails on the tile before he’d even managed to push the door all the way open. Happy-faced panting and a lightning-fast tail wag confirmed that Drake was thrilled to see his master had returned. “Did you miss me, Drake?” Eric’s tone, slightly lilted, betrayed the heaviness in his chest. He took a couple steps and placed the grocery bag he was carrying on the counter, then reached down to pet his four-legged friend. “Well, he’s gone,” Eric whispered as he lowered himself to a squatting position, all the while stroking Drake’s forehead right between his ears. He reached up with his other hand and cupped the Labrador’s face. One thing about Drake that Eric loved was that he always, even when sad, seemed to be smiling. Eric sighed then kissed his pooch on the head and rose to his feet. He snatched the grocery bag from the counter and walked to the kitchen, Drake shadowing him. “Yes, I got you a treat…and yes, I know you want to go outside.” Drake’s tail wagged even more furiously as he began his prance of anticipation. Certain words, like “treat” and “outside” triggered this response, and seeing the dog’s glee somewhat assuaged the dull ache Eric felt inside him. Did Drake even realize that Max was gone for good, that he wouldn’t be coming back? To Drake, every time he was left alone, he probably feared he’d never see his owner again. At least, that’s how he acted whenever Eric returned. The dog got so excited, you’d have thought Eric had been gone a couple of months rather than just a few minutes or hours. Eric now understood how Drake felt. He had no idea if Max would be gone a few days, a few years, or forever. Eric might never see the younger man again for all he knew. Then again, what right did Eric have to hold him back? It wasn’t like they were a couple or anything, not officially. Max had been his roommate of sorts for the past two and a half years. Eric took the kid in when he was more-or-less homeless, rented him a room. Well, that’s what they told people, but Eric never made an issue of the money. Max had seemed to always forget to pay. He’d certainly forgotten more often than he’d remembered, and it didn’t really matter to Eric. He never really needed the money. To be honest, he needed Max more than he needed the cash. But that’s just how Max was. He wasn’t like Eric who’d been at the same job for the past nine years. Max worked here and there, never at one place for very long. He was an artist, and very gifted, but he hadn’t quite figured out how to apply himself in a way that would net him a reliable source of income. He did some projects on commission. He sold a piece every now and then, or he got hired to paint a mural or the side of a building for a business. For a while he’d worked painting logos on company trucks and vans, but he was just too much of a free spirit to answer to a boss. He liked to work when he wanted to work. The couple of times Max got “real” jobs were worst of all. He took an hourly wage job at a convenience store and was fired after his first two weeks. He didn’t seem too concerned about reporting to work at his scheduled time, and the manager seemed even less concerned about letting him go. Pretty much the same thing happened when he tried fast food. That didn’t last even as long as the gas station job. When Max announced he’d met someone online and was leaving for California in a month, Eric wasn’t at first sure he was serious. Ever the dreamer, Max talked about a lot of things he wanted to do. He changed his mind constantly, never focused on one thing for too long, so probably his big plans to start a new life would fizzle in a few days. Eric decided not to bring it up, pretend Max had never mentioned it, and a week before his planned departure, it seemed as if he had. But when Eric stepped into the basement to do a load of laundry that Friday morning, he noticed Max’s easel was gone. All the art supplies that he usually left strewn across the rec room had been gathered and packed in Max’s satchel. Eric hightailed up the stairs to the main floor then continued on to the second floor where the bedrooms were located. He stopped in front of Max’s door to catch his breath before knocking. “Hey man, what’s up?” Max lay stretched out on full-sized bed, legs crossed at the ankles. He removed a set of headphones as Eric pushed the door open. “Hey.” Eric smiled. He glanced around the room, and his eyes fell on two suitcases in the corner. “Uh…so I guess you’re still planning to, um…to head out to Cali?” Max returned his smile, his own broader, conveying his genuine enthusiasm. “Yeah. Monday’s the big day.” “I didn’t really think you’d go through with it. I mean, Well…I was…uh…” “Thought I’d flake out again, huh?” Max laughed as he shook his head to flick hair off his face. He reached up and raked his fingers through the straight, blond strands in a gesture that had always gotten to Eric. His mannerisms, masculine in a surfer-dude sort of way, were also slightly effeminate, just soft enough to be sexy. Everything about the way he carried himself affected Eric, and he couldn’t exactly explain why. “No. Of course I didn’t think you’d flake out. I just…well, I was hoping you might change your mind. I’m gonna miss you.” Max’s broad smile faded to a sincere, pleasant expression where the corners of his mouth just slightly curled. He patted the mattress with his palm. “If you want, I’ll let you give me head one last time…for old time’s sake.” The rapid tapping of Drake’s nails on the kitchen tile pulled Eric from his reverie. He shook his head and reached into the box of dog biscuits for a treat. “Alright, alright. Here you go.” He held out a dog biscuit to his Lab who quickly devoured it. Eric stepped into the utility room and removed Drake’s leash from the hook where it was hanging. Drake rushed to the front door, his rear end jiggling back and forth as his tail whipped about lickety split. Before Eric could catch up with him, the door bell sounded, taking Eric by surprise. He stopped in his tracks, daring for just a moment to hope it might be Max returning already. He hurried to the threshold and took hold of the handle, pulling the door wide open. It wasn’t Max. Two men stood on the porch of Eric’s condo, dressed almost identically in white shirts and navy ties. The older of the two, perhaps in his late thirties or early forties, had combed a few remaining strands of long hair over his bald scalp but had a youthful, clean-shaven face. His partner had to be close to Max’s age, though Eric suspected age would be about the only thing they’d have in common. He seemed as conservative and business like as his partner. The younger of the men smiled and reached down to pet Drake who had rushed out onto the porch to greet the company. “Drake!” Eric held up the leash and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry, we were getting ready for a walk. Come here Drake.” “Aw, he’s okay.” The twentysomething blond lowered himself to a squatting position beside the dog and continued petting. “Hi Drake! It’s nice to meet you.” One thing Eric had learned to trust about Drake was his judge of character. The dog possessed an inexplicable sixth sense when it came to making friends. The way Drake took to the younger man yet steered clear of his older partner did not go unnoticed by Eric. It was the older man who spoke next, though, offering only a cursory nod to the canine-human interaction beside him. “I’m Reverend David Mathers of the Faith Baptist Church here in Cutlerville, and this is my associate pastor, Steven Warren. We’re canvassing the neighborhoods in the area, inviting the kids to our summer vacation Bible school.” He held out a flyer for Eric. “Oh, thank you.” Eric continued to watch Drake licking the younger pastor’s face and couldn’t help but smile. “I’m afraid there are no kids here. Just me and Drake.” “Well, perhaps you’d be interested in attending our worship services on Sunday or our Bible study on Wednesday night.” The reverend pulled a pamphlet from the bottom of his pile of fliers. “We hold Sunday school and morning worship in the A.M. on Sunday, and Pastor Steve delivers the evening sermon every week.” Again, Eric graciously accepted the handout, certain he’d deposit both of the documents directly in the trash as soon as the uninvited solicitors vacated his property. “That’s very kind of you. I appreciate the invitation.” “You have a beautiful dog.” Pastor Steve looked up at him, smiling. “I have a four-legged child of my own. He’s black and white, but not nearly as beautiful as Drake. My Felix is a bulldog.” “I love bulldogs!” Eric almost laughed. “And I’m sure Drake would love him too. He’s pretty friendly with other dogs.” “We just live a block away. I’m over on VanDyke. Maybe we’ll have to walk them together…go to the dog-run park or something.” “That’d be…” Eric wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. He didn’t really know anything about the young man other than he was a minister…and Baptist, not exactly the most gay-affirming denomination. “That’d be nice. We’ll look for you the next time we’re over at the park.” Reverend Mathers cleared his throat. “Well, we thank you for your time, and hope to see you at one of our services.” He shot his colleague a less-than-subtle glare, as if to suggest it was time to move along to the next victim. “Thanks for the invitation, but I’m afraid I’m not much of a church-goer. I’d be worried the roof might cave in as soon as I stepped foot inside.” Pastor Steve, who’d risen to a standing position smiled, wide and warm. “That’s okay. We just reinforced the rafters.” The older pastor grunted an obligatory chuckle before grasping Steve’s elbow. “Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find us.” He nodded to the pamphlet in Eric’s hand before turning and leading his partner off the porch and down the walkway. Pastor Steve turned and waved. “Bye Drake! Nice to meet you.” Eric found himself unable to avoid noticing the smooth bubble butt of the younger man as they headed down the sidewalk. Well, that had to be the most bizarre encounter Eric had ever had on his own front porch. He was pretty sure lusting after a man of the cloth was at least technically a cardinal sin, but how could he help himself? Those dress pants fit the young preacher like a glove. Eric reached down and attached the leash to Drake’s collar. He placed the flyer and pamphlet on the stand just inside the door and then pulled it closed. “Come on, boy. Let’s go to the park, and then we’ll come home and pray to God he doesn’t send us to hell.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Evangelism was Steve’s least favorite duty as an evangelical Christian. Going door-to-door, invading the privacy of unsuspecting and generally unwelcoming neighbors, rarely resulted in any positive outcomes. Those who seemed receptive to the unsolicited visits tended to be people who would otherwise be inclined to attend their church in the first place, but conversions of the unsaved were rare. “It’s part of the Great Commission,” Reverend Mathers reminded him. “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel…” Steven nodded his acceptance to his spiritual superior’s directive but couldn’t help wondering, if preaching the gospel to all the world was the objective, why didn’t they canvas the less gentrified areas of the community? They pretty much focused on the more upscale neighborhoods—the ones that were less colorful, certainly less diverse, than the more urban areas a few blocks away. After completing his ordination eight months prior, Steve was certain God’s Holy Spirit would guide him to the perfect location, the place he was supposed to begin his ministry. Initially, he’d gone back and volunteered as a youth leader in his hometown church. Raised in rural northern Michigan, he knew pretty much everyone in his small town. His church, for the most part, supported him. They were proud one of their own had been called to the ministry, and the entire congregation expressed confidence that God would use Steve to work wondrous things in His name. When he got the call to interview for an associate pastor position at a church in Michigan, his heart swelled. The church, Faith Baptist, was located in a suburb of Grand Rapids and would likely provide the perfect opportunity for Steve to spread his wings and truly affect some positive change. He’d envisioned the position as an opportunity to perform genuine outreach in a way he couldn’t do in his small, hometown church. As Reverend Mathers and he headed back to the senior pastor’s car, Steve thought about the gentleman they’d just encountered, the good-looking guy with the dog. “He seemed very nice,” Steve looked over at the reverend as he stepped around the vehicle to the passenger side. David Mathers snickered as he opened his door and slid into the driver’s seat. He turned, twisting his body slightly in order to place his stack of fliers and pamphlets on the back seat of his Lexus. “I wouldn’t count on seeing him at a service anytime soon.” “Really?” Steve closed his door and reached for his seatbelt. “He seemed friendly enough, and you never know. Maybe we planted a seed and just have to trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest.” David rolled his eyes as he inserted his key into the ignition and started the car. “Don’t forget, there are some people who are lost beyond redemption. Remember Paul’s admonition in the book of Romans. He clearly states that God turns some over to their vile affections. He literally has ‘given them up’.” Steve looked at him for a moment, puzzled. “Oh…so you think…?” “It was rather obvious.” He checked his mirrors before pulling away from the curb. “Didn’t you notice the ornament hanging in the window?” “The ornament?” “The chimes or whatever, right in the middle of the front window.” “Oh, right.” Steve nodded. “The rainbow chimes. Maybe he just likes rainbows. After all, the Bible tells us God gave us the rainbow as a symbol of His covenant with mankind. You know, after the Great Flood.” “I’m aware of the story.” The senior pastor offered a brief, reproving glance. “Steven, you have to try to be a little more observant. The way that man carried himself—his voice and mannerisms—he didn’t exactly seem like the husband/fatherly type. And he said himself he lives there alone with his dog.” Steve looked away, directing his focus out the passenger window. This was beginning to feel like Bible college all over again. “Yes sir, I understand what you’re saying. But even if it’s true that this man is…you know…one of those type of people, he still can be saved. We all know of people who have been rescued from sinful lifestyles.” The pastor reached over, placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I just want you to be careful. Of course, if a homosexual comes to us expressing a desire to change and sincere remorse for their sin, we will lead them to the Lord and help them in any way we can. But most don’t do this, and that’s why God has given up on them. They’re predators, for the most part, many of them pedophiles and perverts. They’re not the kind of people we want within our congregation.” Steven gulped, recalling in vivid detail the last person who’d expressed this sentiment. Coincidentally enough, he’d used almost the exact same choice of words.