My Cursed Love

Chapter 7: Back to normal

-Elena-

As I stepped into the kitchen, the enticing aroma of breakfast and coffee greeted me. Though I didn’t drink coffee myself, the smell made me feel more at home.

“Morning, Aunty,” I greeted, settling into a chair at the table.

She smiled at me over the edge of the morning paper, her eyes warm and familiar. It was just as I remembered—her with her coffee and newspaper, and me eating my breakfast in the comfort of our routine. Maybe things could really go back to normal.

For a while, we sat in comfortable silence, each absorbed in our own thoughts. After everything that had happened, I longed for this simple normality. But soon, I had to break the quiet.

“Aunty, now that I’m home, I’ve been thinking about going back to school,” I admitted.

The newspaper in her hand was abruptly folded, creating a sharp rustle that broke the morning’s peaceful silence. She looked at me, stunned and disbelieving.

“School?” she asked. “Do you really think you’re ready for that?”

I looked at her, confused. No, I wasn’t ready. The nightmares had only intensified, and the pain and fear still gripped my heart. I jumped at every loud noise and kept a baseball bat close to my bed. Often, after waking from a nightmare, I’d clutch the bat tightly, sitting with my back pressed against the headboard, staring at the door, waiting for someone to burst in and take me away again.

I stayed like that until morning, finding solace only when I heard my aunt moving around downstairs. So, no, I was far from ready, but I needed to return to some semblance of normalcy.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I inquired with a forced smile, trying to appear as composed as possible.

She narrowed her eyes and stared at me intently. It was quite intimidating, and I couldn’t help but look away.

“Could you stop that?” I requested, feeling a bit irritated after several minutes of her staring.

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

“I don’t know, Elena. You’ve just come home. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard. Going back to school might be too overwhelming right now,” she said.

I just shook my head. “I’m fine, Aunt Jen. I just need to get back to my life, and what better way to do that than to return to school? Besides, I’m already really far behind. Starting now and trying to catch up will be good for me.”

I hoped I could convince her, but she continued to look at me with concern, as if I might have a mental breakdown right there in the kitchen.

“Please, Aunt Jen. I just want to go back to normal.” I looked at her with pleading eyes, and I could see it was making an impact. She sighed deeply and put her arms down.

“Fine! But this will be a trial day. If you feel any anxiety or pain, you call me immediately, and you won’t go back to school until you’re completely well again,” she stated, pointing at me.

I nodded enthusiastically and smiled. Unable to contain my excitement, I jumped up from my seat and hugged her tightly.

“You are the best!” I repeated over and over.

She patted my back and told me that was enough, but I could tell she was pleased to see me so happy. I quickly ran upstairs to get ready. I hopped in the shower but froze as the hot water streamed down. My thoughts traveled back to that awful place, filling me with dread.

I began scrubbing my skin aggressively, trying to erase the marks they had left on my body. I hated that their presence lingered, even during something as ordinary as a shower. It reminded me that I was still not in control. They still held power over me, and I despised it. When would I ever be free of them?

When I finally emerged from the shower, my skin was red from the harsh scrubbing. I stood in front of the mirror, which was covered by a towel. I had covered it after the first time I stood there, just a few days ago, and was horrified by my reflection. My body was marked with small scars and bruises, and I looked so thin. It was dreadful to look at, and I was filled with disgust. I couldn’t stand seeing it, so I had to cover the mirror.

Great. Now the tears came. I was a wreck. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was fighting so hard to return to my old life, yet there were always things dragging me back, making me feel alone and powerless. Why did this have to happen to me?

I tried to wipe away the tears as best I could. I had to appear happy and well if I wanted to be allowed to go back to school. I dressed in blue jeans, a white top, and a black hoodie. I knew I’d need something to hide behind, as the eyes at school would undoubtedly follow me around.

Once dressed, I felt a little more normal. I left the bathroom, grabbed my things from my room, and slung my bag over my shoulder before heading downstairs. My aunt was already waiting for me, though her expression was tinged with worry.

“Ready?” she asked.

I nodded, but inside, I was screaming. I had already been trapped in my own head once today, which, of course, had led to tears. I didn’t want that to happen in the middle of school. It would make it even harder to return to normal, but if I let my fears control me, it would be like they had won. I had promised myself not to let that happen.

Determined, I grasped the handle and walked out the door. I was not going to let them destroy me. I was in control. Or at least, that’s what I told myself.