Finding Love

10

Not everyone has

Access to me because

I want peace more than attention.

An awkward silence arises when I step into the kitchen. The table is already full of food, from fruit to pancakes. Seated at the table, everyone starts scooping up his plate. There is a silence at the table until I sneeze. I'm catching a cold. My sneeze makes Finn shrink like I just put a g*n to his head.

‘I'm sorry Lily, really. If I'd just picked up the phone or said we had training, you'd never get sick' Finn looks at me with so much regret in his eyes that I can almost feel my eyes filling up. ‘It's not a problem, really. It's just a cold, it's not that it will kill me,' I say laughing, hoping to lift his guilt.

‘No, it's not okay Lily. I know I've only just met you, but I already feel you're going to be one of my best friends. I'm a bad friend,’ he says with his shoulders down. Moved by his words, I give him a cuddle from my chair. We are taken out of our cuddle by a cough. Blushing I look at Alex, who is fixated on my arms that are still hanging loosely around Finn. Ashamed, I let my arms rest next to me again, when Alex starts talking. ‘From now on, you will stay at the training, every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday after school' he says.

I look at him with big eyes. "And when do I have to study?" I ask. "Afterwards, or you can study in the stands, I don’t care’. I want to say something in return when his cold look makes me swallow my words. I nod timidly but internally I swear at him with every mean word I can think of. Sucker, asshole, idiot...

An hour later, I'm in my class. In this subject, I'm not in the same class as Lexi. Last year I had the opportunity to skip a year that would have sent me off earlier, but I rejected the offer. Instead, I had already started studying some subjects that I would have in college. That's why I'm in a class higher up in this subject.

I am one of the first in and put myself in one of the back rows. After a few minutes, I feel someone looking at me. I look up from my mobile phone and see Alex standing there. Surprised I look at him while he looks at me with a mixture of boredom and anger. "You're sitting in my place" he says in a low tone. Quickly I pick up my things and move to one of the front rows. I didn't know Alex wanted to become a doctor too.

After two hours of listening to the old man, Professor Clark, the class is finally over. The moment everyone walks out of the building to enjoy the break, I hear a high scream. ‘Alex' screams a girl with long blond hair and a reasonably short skirt. She runs towards Alex in her high heels and throws her arms around his neck. Less than a second later, they are having a saliva feast. With disgust I turn around again, to put myself somewhere on a bench. Today is Tuesday which means that Lexi, Britte, and Kim are not at school yet, their classes start later today.

I remove my mental checklist and cross out queen bee from the list that represents the American room. Then I remove Jerk quarterback and relationship between Queenbee and quarterback. I'm taken out of my mind by a football that ends up right in front of my feet. I look around at who lost his ball when I see a group of guys looking at me. I grab the ball and throw it nicely in the arms of a boy with black hair. The four boys look at me in amazement, when one of them walks towards me.

"Wow Lily, I didn't know you could throw so well," he says. "Hey, Owen" I say shyly. Without saying anything else, he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the other guys. "Okay boys, this is Lily, a friend of mine, Lily, this are Rayen, Jax, and Aiden.’

 Rayen is the black-haired guy I threw the ball at, Jax is a brown-haired guy and Aiden is just like Owen, blonde. All three boys are very handsome, with broad shoulders and a visible jawline. "Hey, I'm Lily." I say nervously when I let my weight rest from one leg to the other.

Everyone starts laughing and I feel my cheeks turning red. Aiden says, "We know," when Rayen winks at me. Jax just looks ahead and Owen puts his arm over my shoulder, 'I think we're going to be good friends,' he says when everyone nods, although I can't say that for sure about Jax.

After 4 hours of class, I'm waiting at the car. This morning Alex briefly said that today's training had been moved to yesterday. "Hey, Lily, ready to go?" I hear Finn asking. I nod and walk to the door that leads to the back seat when Finn stops me. "You can sit up front, Alex rode with friends.’ I nod and get in next to Finn. I sneeze and Finn starts laughing. "What?" I ask laughing. "You sneeze is cute" laughs Finn, "Not true" I grumble. "I think so, and I know everyone would agree with me," he says determinedly. As an answer, I childishly stick out my tongue to him, which makes him laugh even harder.

When I get home, I step into the hallway, that is when I hear people laughing. Curiously, I follow the laughter and the voices, until I stand still in front of the swimming pool. In front of me, I see 5 boys in the pool throwing a ball at each other, 5 half-n***d boys. In a panic, I turn around and just want to run away when a voice stops me.

"Lil?" the person asks. Slowly, very slowly, as slowly as possible, hoping that when I turn around, the persons are gone, I look at the pool again. 'Oh, hey Owen' I greet him with an awkward swing while I start tinkering with my other hand on my T-shirt, 'Hey Jax, Aiden, Rayen' I continue. ‘Lily' yells Aiden and Rayen happy as they jump out of the pool and give me a hug. After a few minutes, they both let go when they sheepishly look down on my wet clothes, clothes that were still dry a few minutes ago. Then to make up for it, they each kiss one of my cheeks making me completely red. This is my first kiss, okay, not really the first kiss because it is on the cheek, but first "kiss" from not one but two handsome, half-n***d guys.

"What's going on?" asks Alex confused as he, Owen and Jax, are looking at Aiden and Rayen in anger. Did something happen between them? Why do they look like they want to send Rayen and Aiden to hell? "Dude, why didn't you tell me you had Lil visiting?" Owen answers Alex's question with his own. "Lil?" Alex answers Owen's question with a question. I come in between the two of them because otherwise nothing's ever gonna be said other than questions asked, I answer Owen's question.

‘I'm not visiting, I'm living here', when I see the mouths of the four boys opening and their eyes moving to Alex, I quickly chat on. ‘I'm an exchange student. I come here to study for a year and Alex's family has been kind enough to let me live here until the end of the school year' I explain when the amazement is still written on their faces.

Guys, I think. Whether they live here or in Belgium, both are slow in understanding, I sigh inwardly.