Finding Love

12

I am not crazy.

I prefer the term

“Mentally hilarious”

'Today is the first game' Kim screams happy when she jumps up and down. One table further, I see Alex looking up when he connects his gaze with mine. I am pulled out of my stare when I feel a poke in my side. "Lily, do you want to audition for cheer?" Kim suddenly asks. I look at her in amazement when I let the question get through to m,e.

"No," I say once I've made up my mind. "Why not? I mean, I, Lexi, and even Britte are cheerleaders' she asks in amazement. 'Believe me, it's not for me. And I wouldn't want to know how I'd react with all that attention' I explain. I see Kim wants to say something when she is interrupted by Finn running into her to catch a ball.

"s**t, sorry," he apologizes when he looks at Kim. I see his eyes getting bigger before they look at Kim normal again. Kim, on the contrary, is getting redder every second. Halting out of the trans, Finn shakes his head, he is a little red as he wants to look at something else, which happens to be me. "Hey, Lily" he says cheerfully when he steps up to me and presses me a kiss on my forehead.

Another thing that's changed in the few days since his confession. I feel our bond getting stronger and see how he's starting to behave more and more like my older brother, a bit like Coll or Justin are behaving around me. It's not just Finn acting like that, it's also Owen. Jax hasn't done or said much to me since yesterday. But somehow I feel like he's looking out for me, just like Justin would.

Before I can say anything back, he's already gone. I see Lexi, Brittte, and Kim staring at me with an open mouth, although I think Kim's eyes look sad. "What was that? Who's that hottie? Why didn't you ever tell me you had a boyfriend?' Lexi rattles. I look at their facial expressions when I'm in a laughing fit. I feel a lot of people staring at me and not just my friends, but I can't stop laughing.

After a few minutes, I manage to cool off when I am still a little out of breath by laughing, answering her questions. ‘That was Finn Martin and no, not my boyfriend, more of a brother. I'm an exchange student and I'm staying there for the time being.'

"First of all, you're an exchange student? But your English is so good. And second of all, does that mean you live with Alex Ma…? Lexi is interrupted by the devil himself. "Popcorn, we're leaving," he says succinctly. I see Lexi's eyes grow big when Britte gets a question mark in hers. Before I can answer Alex, I am interrupted by a loud scream and pushed aside by Chelsey. 'Hey babe' she says seduce and put her arms around his neck.

 Alex looks at her bored, "Not now, Chelsey’. Then he looks back at me and raises his eyebrow, like he is saying, are you coming? I scrape my throat, 'I'll go with Britte, I'll come after the after party,' I say apologetically. I see Alex investigating me before he nods and gets to the car, Chelsey running after him.

Three hours later, I'm standing in front of the mirror looking at me admiringly. ‘Wow’, I whisper. "We did our job well," Lexi says to the other girls as she grabs me and looks at me through the mirror. I nod that she's absolutely right, when I admire myself from top to bottom. I'm wearing an old soccer jersey from Owen's number, which Britte apparently once had a crush on and so the t-shirt was still in her closet. She's wearing number 1 herself. The t-shirt is in a black skirt with small heels at my feet. My hair is half braided, half tailed up. My eyes are accentuated by brown eye shadow together with eye pencil and mascara, my lips shine a bit through the lip gloss.

‘Yaaaaay' I shout happily when Alex makes another goal. Next to me sits Jax because he had injured his leg while cycling so he can’t play for the next month. Instead of cheering when the final signal sounds and our school has won, he stays on his lazy ass.’ Stand up and laugh, those are our friends who have won," I say. Against my amazement jax is actually able to stand up but he doesn't do anything else. I roll my eyes and grab his arms, while I have to stand on my tips because he's definitely a head taller, and wave them back and forth.

I hear Jax chuckling when he sees what I am doing. A smirk plays around his lips when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like a french fries bag 'Hey, let go of me' I shout, while my fists drum like drumsticks on his back. I see that we walk down the grandstand and onto the field. Like a little child, I say his name pouting,  when I hear him chuckle again as an answer.

One moment, he starts jumping up and down and then turning around. After a few turns, he puts me down among the other guys. I see that they all look at the smile of Jax, with a happy face. Only in the look of Alex, there is another emotion, but I can't really name it. I want to step forward when I fall aside, dizzy from turning.

"Careful there" says Owen chuckling as he bends his back towards me. I stand there looking dizzy and confused at his back. As if he knows I have no idea what he means, he says, on a duh-tone, that I have to jump on his back. The little girl in me, comes back when I jump on his back. There are six of us walking to Aiden's car when we all get in, on our way to the party.

Nervous, I wiggle from one leg to the other when I'm standing next to the car. This is going to be the first time I'm going to a party with booze. All my previous parties were princesses parties, from when I was six. Now that I think about it, those were really cool parties. Maybe I could have one for my 19th birthday. "Come, Lily, it's gonna be great" Rayen talks me up when he leads me to the house with his arm around my shoulder.

Inside, I am immediately overwhelmed by the smell of sweat and alcohol. Like in every book or movie, and therefore part of the dream, people are standing in a corner smoking, sucking each other's faces off. Everywhere there are red plastic cups on the ground. My shoes stick to the floor when I, together with Rayen, wriggle through the dancing and scouring people. In the kitchen I see Britte standing happily waving at me.

Rayen disappears and I'm alone with Britte, "Do you want something to drink?" she asks. I nod and say I want water. Giving me my drink Britte leads me to the rest of our friends. On the way, I accidentally bump into Chelsey who looks at me angry and walks on. "Hey Lily" Lexi and Kim greet me, starting the evening.