Yesterday’s Betrayal Today's Scars: Alice

2 NIGHT TERROR

Alice POV

Standing in the shower, letting the hot water run over my aching back, feels so good.

Today has been exhausting. My dungeon is now packed up except for my computers and my bathroom necessities.

Tomorrow will be just as grueling between training with bear and moving. The thought of bear has me grinning.

I shut the water off and grab a towel to dry off. A good night's sleep is exactly what I need.

I turn on the security monitor in my bedroom, turn off the lights, and slide into my warm, comfortable bed with a sigh.

A loud scream jerks me awake with a gasp. My heart is pounding when I find myself in the dimly lit room from my childhood.

I look over, and Alex isn’t in his bed. The air feels heavy, and it's hard to breathe as the memories come flooding back. I work so hard to suppress them. The walls feel like they are closing in.

Another scream. It is my voice. I jump from my tiny twin bed and run through the small apartment. I already know what's happening before I arrive in the living room.

I look to the right, and a 15-year-old me is gripping the counter, screaming for Alex while a man's rough voice is yelling. “Open up, you b***h, you owe me.” He is beating on the door.

I am a bystander watching it unfold all over again. When my younger self screams again, Alex comes running into the room and embraces her.

”He can’t get in. We are fine,” he coos to the younger me. I stand here shaking my head because I know he does get in.

”You f*****g b***h!” he yells, then starts kicking the door. It bursts open, and he stumbles in. He is both high and angry.

When his eyes land on Alex and me, he asks, “Where is your w***e of a mother she owes me money?”

”She is at work,” Alex answers him while shoving me behind him. It doesn’t work. It didn’t then, and it doesn’t in my night terrors.

”Well, if she isn’t here to pay up, then I think I’ll take p*****t from this sweet little thing,” he says with a disgusting smile, then licks his lips.

”No!” Alex yells and lunges for him. Mom’s drug dealer punches Alex, knocking him down. Then charges for me, grabbing a fist full of my hair.

”She said I could have you when you turned 18, but I think I’ll taste you now,” he states. He starts leaning forward while almost pulling my hair out at the root.

I start swinging at his face in a panic. He only laughed maniacally at me, so I kneed him in the balls. He bends over, cupping himself, and curses.

”You're going to pay for that, you little b***h. I was just going to have a taste. Now I’ll take everything,” he says as he stands back straight and then grabs my breast roughly.

”f**k you,” I scream, ready to hit him again. Then, wham, his head jerks sideways, and he falls to the ground. I look behind where he was standing, and Alex is there.

Chest heaving, face red with rage, holding the baseball bat mom kept by the door because of the lousy neighborhood we live in.

I rush to Alex and hug him. “Thank you,” I mummer. I'm trying not to cry and to stop my body from shaking, but it's no use.

Alex drops the bat and wraps his arms around me tightly. “It’s ok. I’ll never let him or anyone else touch you,” He says in a firm voice.

”We can’t stay here anymore though. Things are getting worse. If she's not bringing men home from the club, then her dealers are coming by to collect. f**k Alice, it’s not even safe to sleep here anymore,” he says, frustrated and mad.

”I know,” I say, then point to the asshole on the floor. “Is he dead?” I ask. “I don’t know and don’t care. Come on, we're packing some clothes and leaving,” he says, taking my hand.

I jerk awake, sitting straight up in the bed. I’m covered in sweat, and my body is trembling. It takes me a few minutes to breathe and take in my surroundings.

I start chanting out loud, I’m safe in my room. In the dungeon I designed. I’m not a weak, untrained child anymore. I’ll kill a motherfucker if they attack me.

I run my fingers through my sweat-soaked hair. s**t, it’s been a year since I last had a night terror. I thought maybe I was past this.

I look at my phone on the night table. It reads 3:24 am. I know I’ll never be able to get back to sleep after those memories.

I grab some clothes and jump in the shower. I need to wash all remnants of this night and those memories away.

I keep busy until it is time for breakfast by unhooking all my computers and packing what’s left in my bathroom.

Looking around at my suite and office, it’s hard to believe this, like the rest of the basement was once part of the bunker JP built.

I shake my head—no more thoughts about the past. I’m moving forward and taking charge of my life.

I put my hair in a ponytail and go upstairs to the dining room. Tim is setting breakfast on the table, so I help him.

Once everyone is seated and makes their plates, I notice Alex looking at me closely.

”Good morning, brother,” I say with a smile. “Good morning,” he replies but doesn’t continue eating.

”You look tired. Did you not sleep?” he asks. I don’t want to dredge things up, but we keep no secrets in this family.

I smile gently so he knows I’m ok and say, “Not a lot.” He reaches over, placing his hand on mine. “Are they back?” He asks with concern.

”I hope not. This is the first one in a while,” I reply.

“Is what back?” Tony asks.

I look in his direction, and everyone is looking at me. Star gives me a concerned look, but I know this is my decision.

I turn to Alex for input because this is his story, too. He gives a firm head nod. We are all family here, so I might as well fill Tony and Max in. I’m sure Alex has already told Tim everything.

I meet Tony’s eyes and answer him. “I have night terrors. I’ve had them since I was a teenager,” I say.

”Aren’t those usually because of a traumatic event?” Max says, setting his fork down.

”Most are, but not all. In my case, they are.” Alex squeezes my hand to offer support.

”Do you want to tell us what happened?” Tony asks. Not really, but I will, I think to myself.

”I'll give you the cliff notes version,” I pause, taking a breath.

”Alex and I grew up in what's called Sally town now.” I watch as his eyebrows raise at that knowledge. It's past downtown Vegas and is known for drugs and prostitution. It’s overrun with crime.

I continue. “We lived in a small two-bedroom rundown apartment with our mother. As far back as either of us remember, she was a stripper and a drug addict. Many women dance, and I’m not judging that, but our home life was rough. On school days, we were thankful because we got to eat lunch there. Let’s just say drug addicts spend money on drugs, not food, even for their children. A neighbor named Maria and her husband would try to make sure we ate something for dinner most days, too,” I pause, taking a drink of coffee.

”Why didn’t she or anyone else report your mother and get you taken away?” Tony asks.

“Because DCS and the foster care system are overcrowded, and we would have been separated. We found that out when we threatened Mom with doing it ourselves, and she laughed at us. Anyway, she would bring men home from the club she worked at or wherever she found them. Needless to say, Alex and I didn’t need the birds and bees talk because we would walk into the living room or kitchen to see it happening often. Between that and her crack pipes laying everywhere,” I shake my head at the memories.

”One night, she was at work, and one of her dealers came by because she owed money. When she wasn’t there but we were, he got other ideas for collecting the payment.” I stop there. I don’t want to say that Alex killed a man for trying to rape me at 15 years old.

”Did he?” Max says, clenching his fists on the table and his face red with anger.

”No, he didn’t. I took a baseball bat to his head before he could,” Alex says in a deadly voice.

I give a warm smile. “We packed what little clothes we had and left. We met Star and JP the next day,” I finish with the most important detail. Meeting our new family was the best thing that ever happened to us.

Star is grinning at me like she knows exactly what I’m thinking.

Star looks at Tony and Max. “We were going into the library so I could look through the sale bin for books. Because we stayed under the radar, it meant no library cards for us, only straight purchases,” she says, continuing the story of that day.

“When we entered the library that day, there was a commotion. Turns out Alice was hacking the school records for her brother to change his grades and got busted by the librarian. They were going to call the cops and their parents. I don't know why at that moment, but Dad jumped in, claiming to be their father there to pick them up and convince them to release them to his care for punishment. After I later heard their story, I'm glad he did,” she pauses, giving me a sweet smile.

“They didn't know who their father was, and the mom was a junky stripper who worked at one of the sleaziest places downtown—always choosing drugs and men over her kids, along with the fact they were malnourished pissed dad off. We took them home with us. It wasn't them against the world any longer. They had us. We earned their trust, and they earned ours. We became a family. Dad nurtured Alice’s gift for hacking by having her trained by an ex-military Intel buddy,” she says.

I give her a wink and go back to eating. We need better breakfast conversation.

”Are you training with Bear today?” Alex asks. I can’t help but smile. “Yes, every day this week, then I will adopt him.”

After I finish eating, I look over to my amazing brother-in-laws. “I have everything packed up in my dungeon. Do you think you could have some men move my things to the house this evening?” I ask.

”Sure, what time should they be here?” Max asks.

“You want them to move everything?” Star says with a raised eyebrow.

I burst out laughing, knowing what she was talking about. I point to Tony and Max.

“They have grown-ass men working for them. If they can’t handle seeing a spanking bench, s*x swing, or Saint Andrews Cross, then they need to go put on some big boy pants and grow up,” I say challengingly.

Tim spits orange juice clear across the table, making Alex yell. Star is coughing around a bite of food at my outburst.

I chuckle and stand to clear the table. I want to get moving so I can see Bear. “4 pm works great for me,” I say over my shoulder as I leave the room.