Chambers Lane Series Collection

2. Lucia Maria-3

But what ultimately made Michael feel betrayed and unloved was when the young, white teenage girl from his high school that he had fallen in love with, Sally, would not accept him because he was biracial and not truly white in her eyes. At times, she enjoyed his wanton desire to spend time with her and was flattered by it, but she adamantly refused to go on any dates with him or even be seen with him at school at least around other kids. What would her parents think if she brought a black boy home; even though Michael was actually half Puerto Rican and not half black? That didn"t matter to Sally"s parents because his curly hair gave away his racial impurities and she knew it. She told Michael this when his persistent begging to go out with her finally annoyed her so, especially after the other kids noticed that Michael was attracted to her. This rejection pained Michael so much that he longed to move back to California. He was a California boy at heart and he sported a “Cali-boy” tattoo on his right forearm as a badge of honor that he frequently showed to people to reassure them that he indeed belonged somewhere. At least that is what he told himself when he was home alone.

After that, month after month, he would beg his mother to move back to California where most of his friends and siblings were. Lucia assured him that they would move back soon, but on her own terms. She proudly rejected any assistance from her family that meant they would have to move in with a family member until she could get on her feet. She would only move back if she could afford to buy another home like the one she sold five years ago before moving to Georgia. The family advised her against such a requirement because in the intervening years, home prices in California had skyrocketed and Lucia"s salary in Georgia was actually less than what she had earned as a certified nursing assistant in California. There was no way that she could afford to buy a house before moving back and she did not have any savings to accomplish it. The family considered this unattainable condition as just a way to deflect and to avoid admitting that Lucia did not want to move back to California or to avoid admitting that she moved back in defeat. The more she stood her ground; the more despondent Michael became until he lost all hope that they would ever move back to California and that he would never again feel acceptance like he did when he was younger.

What deepened Michael"s despondency was his knowledge that remaining in Georgia would only reaffirm his belief that his mother wanted to stay closer to Sylvia and her children. Lucia made no qualms that her favorite child was Sylvia, although she would deny it if asked. Sylvia was her love child with Marcelo. Though she cared deeply for Michael"s father initially, his betrayal inevitably affected her affections for Michael even if he was the youngest. Surprisingly, Marcelo"s betrayal never had the same effect on Lucia"s feelings toward Sylvia. Lucia doted on Sylvia and her other kids knew it. Sylvia was given the best gifts for Christmas, made special meals even if it wasn"t a holiday or her birthday, or was given any money that Sylvia asked for even if Lucia did not have the money or Lucia had to give Sylvia money that she had saved for one of the other kids in order to satisfy Sylvia"s insatiable need for money. When the other kids learned of these sacrifices, Lucia would deny it and make excuses why a birthday gift or a wedding gift was missing or smaller than expected or promised. Now that Sylvia had kids of her own and Lucia lived in a rented house next door in Marietta, she could shower her grandkids with the same love and affection that she showed Sylvia. Lucia"s other kids eventually accepted that except Michael. Now that he realized that his mother would not move back to California, he became obsessed with the idea that his mother really did not love him and that his siblings did not love him either.

With these muddled thoughts swirling in her head, Lucia finally told Pastor Brown as she sat in the sanctuary of the church hoping the Lord would guide her and help her decide where to bury Michael.

“I don"t think Michael would want to be buried in Georgia.”

“Why?”

“He hated it here. The best time of his life was when he was a child growing up in Canyon Country. I want to remember him always like that.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I think I want to bury him in California. That way his brothers and sisters and cousins can visit him. If he is buried here, then the rest of the family wouldn"t be able to visit him.”

At that moment, Lucia realized what else she needed to do. She needed to swallow her pride and move back to California even if it meant living with a relative. Perhaps, Maria would offer her home and maybe her mother would pay for the flight to California.

“But wouldn"t that mean that you won"t be able to see him if he is buried in California?”

“I"ve made up my mind, Pastor. I think the Lord is showing me that I need to move back to California. I can"t keep living in that house. It only reminds me of Michael. I can"t sleep and it is making me nervous and anxious.”

“Well, if that is where He is directing you to go, then you need to follow His will.”

They decided to have a wake at the church in Marietta and to take up an offering to help Lucia raise the money to fly Michael"s body to California. Lucia was pleased by this. She adored the congregation and appreciated the emotional and spiritual support they provided her over the years, especially helping her get over the rejection she felt after Michael"s father abandoned her.

“It would be a happy time,” she thought to herself. “A time for all of them to remember Michael the way that I do.” He would always be the small, little boy that she remembered carrying in her arms as she walked from the car to her home, despite her struggle to carry him because he was so heavy for his age.

It would be a happy timeA time for all of them to remember Michael the way that I do