A She Wolf's Longing

ALINA I know you’ve heard of many stories of werewolves… Stories told and untold of supernatural half humans, half dogs, wolves, lycans… Some cursed, others born. Tragic, mirthful tales I know you have been told… some filled with strength, some with honour, Tales of hopeless romantic loves, Tales of so much gore and horror… But have you ever heard of the inverse? Of a werewolf longing to be human? Well, my name is Alina Maguire, and I will change that narrative. Very soon, I will be what I have always wanted to be since I was a child. Very soon, I will be human. --- (THIRD PERSON’S POV) Alina Maguire’s gaze swept across the sprawling landscape before her—the thick, ancient trees of the forest blending into the horizon with their evergreen leaves dancing in the wind under the dim light of dusk. The smell of damp earth and sweet pine clung to the air. It was just that perfect weather that she loved… A gentle, sudden shower had rained down on the Shadow Pack, leaving behind that wonderful earthy smell she just couldn’t get enough of. But for the first time in a long time, it did nothing to soothe her distressed heart. On a normal day, the amazing view would have made her content. She would have felt right at home, connected to the proud land of her ancestors, but today, it made her stomach turn. And that was because the beautiful Alina was no longer the young, adorable child who roamed the Pack halls and was adored by everyone who loved and feared her father, Alpha Titus Maguire. No… You see, today was the day that Alina finally turned into a woman. Even at a wee age, Alina had noticed the pack’s old-fashioned dynamics, and so, ever since she had been a child, she had all but longed for the freedom that she was absolutely convinced existed beyond the trees. It all probably started the day she was born, when she had defied her father’s most cherished desire, breaking centuries of the Maguire tradition and coming out as a girl, something that had never been associated with the Maguire name, thus painting her father as a failure. Perhaps, life might have been easier if he could have just had another child, but alas, every reigning Maguire was only blessed with one child by the Moon Goddess. Her father’s hatred for her was a secret that wasn’t so well hidden. Everyone knew of it, from the highest rank of wolves, to the lowliest Omega, and so all her life, pitiful gazes were something she was very much used to. For most of her life, her father had ignored her, but now that her transition to womanhood was complete… Now that her wolf had awakened… he was going to need her to find the perfect Alpha to inherit the Shadow Pack when he was no more. And how was she going to do that, you ask? Well, the answer is simple, she was going to marry whoever he chose. You know, Alina had always wondered how it was, that in such modern times, when werewolves were at the peak of their scientific advancement… curing diseases, finding ways to extend their lifespan and almost on the verge of attaining immortality, they still maintained their archaic, traditional ways of relegating women to the background and giving men all the glory. Women still maintained their childbearing and housewife roles, and the only career they could actively pursue was either in diplomatic relations, health or entertainment, but against all odds, Alina had broken the status quo several times, from pursuing a career in engineering, to being one of the best sword fighters in the pack, and she had done all of those hoping to win her father’s favor, hoping to somehow make up for the fact that she hadn’t been born male, but somehow, it was as though her achievements only reminded him more of his failures as a virile man. The sound of footsteps behind her broke her thoughts, making her stiffen slightly. She recognized the heavy, powerful tread— Her father. “Alina,” Came his gravelly voice, cold and unforgiving like the man himself. “What is this I’m hearing about you cooping yourself in here instead of dressing in your finest clothes so you can parade around town and find out if the Moon Goddess has found you a suitable mate inside our pack? You think you can stand out here all day, sulking, and somehow change your fate?” Alina didn’t turn around. She had learned long ago that showing her face to him when she was angry or upset only made things worse. Silence was her shield, but it was a fragile one, one that could shatter any minute if he so pleased, and yet, she didn’t care. “What does it matter if I go out, father?” She asked him nonchalantly, staring out at the woods with a dead expression of acceptance on her face, “We all know that you already have a list of men in the Pack who you think are fit to take your place, and if my fated mate is somehow not a part of that list, we both know very well that you are going to discard him like the mate bond means nothing, so why try anyway?” Her father huffed in annoyance, “I will not let you talk to me anyhow, girl…” “And I will not let you continue to belittle me anymore, father,” She turned to lash at him angrily, her eyes flashing red, the colour of her wolf’s. “I am no longer that weak girl you so casually crush and trample on… I have my wolf now, and I assure you that I am not marrying any man in this Pack, even if you bring him to me on a silver platter. Cheating scums and bastards are not fit to be wed to me, and if you won’t see to it that your only child gets a good marriage, then I guess I am going to have to start looking out for myself.” The slap landed hot and fast, making her head whip to the side sharply. But that was just the thing. Alina had been expecting it, and it no longer terrified her anymore. She wiped the blood that dribbled from her mouth with the sleeve of her gown, a bloody smirk making its way onto her lips. “You may have your wolf, now, but I am your father and your Alpha, and you will SUBMIT TO ME!” Her father bellowed the words, saying the last bit with the full power of the Alpha aura, forcing her unto her knees in what could only be described as a hypnotic compulsion. “I will submit to you, father,” She repeated the words robotically, stuck in a daze. Titus Maguire reached for his only child, helping her to her feet, his tone softening considerably, “Why do you always make me do this, Alina? Why do you have to fight me at every turn? I just want what is best for you… what is best for the pack, is that so hard to ask for?” The dazed Alina had a lot she wanted to say, but she was still reeling from the effects of the Alpha aura. “I understand if you do not want to marry a man from this Pack, Alina… I am your father, so I will honour your wishes.” He continued in his soft tone, brushing back her dark waves away from her face, “But you know what’s coming, you know that your future has already been decided.” He drew even closer to her, his towering presence casting a shadow over her. “I’m going on tour soon, and I will find you a husband worthy of this pack. A strong Alpha who will take over when I’m gone. Whether you like it or not.” By now, all the effects of the compulsion had disappeared, making Alina snap back to her senses as she pushed him away roughly. “I am disappointed that you are so stuck in your old-fashioned ways to see what is right in front of you, father… to see the fact that I am what the Pack needs, that I could be an even bigger Alpha than you have ever been. It is your own prerogative to want a male Alpha for the Pack, but just know that I would have no part in it.” She swore passionately, her nails digging into her palms painfully. She welcomed the pain though, because it always grounded her, always snapped her out of whatever fake realities her father tried to sell to her. How many times had she heard this speech? How many times had she been reminded of her worth—or rather, her lack of it? She couldn’t even count, but it was starting to get old, and fast. “We’ll see about that,” Her father challenged with a sadistic gleam in his eyes, “Just know this, girl, I do not care what you think. You’re nothing but a tool to secure our legacy. Matter of fact, the only reason you’re still standing here is that your blood ties you to me and your womb is the only thing that makes you valuable to me right now. But I am not above wiping you off entirely. Mark my words, Alina, once I find a suitable Alpha, you will marry him, whether you like it or not, and you are not going to have a f*****g say, because you will do exactly as I tell you.” He finished, his tone laced with so much contempt. The sharpness of his words stung, more than he could ever know, but Alina refused to let him see her break. She bit the inside of her cheek until the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth, a reminder of her strength—however small it felt at that moment. “I’m not marrying anyone, father…” She whispered, her voice low but firm, as she lifted her face to gaze at him, hazel eyes meeting his cold, dark ones. “You can’t control me forever.” Her father’s lips curled into a sneer, his expression hardening as he stared down at her. “You’re a fool if you think you have a choice. Can’t you see, Alina… I own you. There is no escaping this life and the plans I have for you. You made that f*****g choice when you came into this world as a girl, depriving me of everything I have ever wanted.” Alina stared at him, her heart hammering so hard in her chest that she could hear it in her ears. She wanted to scream, to tell him how much she hated him—how much she hated being bound by a destiny she never chose. But she knew better. Words would only provoke him. They had gotten her into so much trouble before, and where his failed him, his fists never did. “Go inside, Alina… and wear better clothes,” He ordered as he turned away from her, his interest already waning. “There are several guests outside who want to congratulate you on your new age and the emergence of your wolf, and I’ll be damned, but you will not embarrass me. It’s high time you started acting like the future wife of an Alpha.” And then he was gone. Alina didn’t f*****g move until he was completely out of sight. Only then did she let out the breath she had been holding, her hands shaking with barely contained rage. Oh, how she hated him! How she hated everything about this life, this world that had been forced upon her because of an accident of birth. If only she had been born male, everything would be different. Her father wouldn’t despise her. She wouldn’t be forced into marriage with some stranger. She wouldn’t have to endure the weight of his expectations crushing her every day. But that wasn’t reality. Her reality was that she was nothing more than a bargaining chip, a pawn in her father’s game. He didn’t care about her happiness, her desires, or the fact that every day, this supernatural life felt more like a cage than anything else. Alina closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. She had to be strong. She couldn’t afford to show weakness—not here, not ever. But as she stood there, praying for composure, a brilliant idea suddenly hit her. People had come from far and wide to help her celebrate her birthday… and knowing her parents, they would be so busy networking to care what she did so long as she didn’t get into trouble. Perhaps this was the perfect chance she had been waiting for. The chance to get answers about how she could lose her supernatural side and get that simple human life she had always dreamed of. This was it. She was going to run away. And she knew just the perfect person to cover up for her.