Chapter Five
289 Words
Chapter Five
Delila: I was confused by the indecency of my lewd behavior: that I might be as wholly licentious as my judges indicated made me wonder what kind of woman I really was. I’d not been like this before Armand went away. It appeared that Rafferty had only begun to show me the depths of my depravity. Still, I couldn’t stop myself. I lived in the extremes of life now, nothing in-between. There was either incredible emptiness or the wildest rush of physical grief and joy imaginable. Sometimes, it seemed that there was no distinction between the pain and pleasure. It was simply sensation. And I craved that.
To compound my confusion, I couldn’t take my mind off the dark man who seemed so interested in my punishment, having appeared twice at my floggings, looking on with great interest. I confess I was fixed on his presence much more than I was on Armand, who seemed like nothing but a grim reminder of my unspeakable indiscretions, and the guilt that ravaged me. When I did chance to gaze at my husband’s eyes, I was seeing anger as much as grief. From one week to the next there seemed more anger each time, and I worried that Armand was about to change his mind about our reconciliation. Such guilt I bore.
Delila was decidedly more docile and contrite for her fourth flogging. The painful experience went along without incident, and for a flogging, it was the most brief, perhaps owing to the fact that there were several other recently convicted female prisoners that required their first experience with the lash. There was little attention paid to Delila Armand except by the two men, Armand and the one who was always dressed in black leather.
- Writer
