Their Loving Solitude

Life can be so confusing and overwhelming at times. It has been known to throw curveballs at you every chance it may get.. bringing good and bad into your bubble, sometimes by invite.. But sometimes you may never see any of it coming, making it the life changing blast that hits you like a brick wall and probably knocking you on your ass.. if you're not prepared for it, at least. Those are the situations that are hard to take and something you may have needed.. but maybe not.. Only time will tell. Not every change is welcomed with open arms, and most aren't even remotely wanted, but that doesn't mean the need or reason for it is obvious to us. For one reason or another, there is an explanation of why this is happening to you. So just because we don't see what waits ahead for us or know the exact reasoning behind it, doesn't mean it's not going to be what is deserved. Mia's POV "Remember, ladies, walk out together!" My manager yells this out at the group of us ladies getting ready to leave for the night.. It's late night for us, but it's early morning for others. We all had our butts kicked at a great night of work and helped each other close the restaurant up for the night so we could have left with each other. We know it's safer to be in numbers since that's part of the rules given to us, when hired, but it shows care when your work makes sure you're doing everything you can to stay safe on their watch. We wave at her saying our goodbyes as the group of us start walking towards the door together. My arms stretched out instantly, shoving the restaurant doors open for all of us to exit. We make sure to stay together in our group even out in the open parking lot while heading to our vehicles. We know how dangerous it could be outside in the city, late at night and by ourselves regularly.. but especially lately.. Since there has been a spike of attacks on women around this area, making all of us late night workers more on edge than we already were. We walk back to our cars as I watch one girl after another leave in their vehicles. "Did you make some money?" My roommate Naomi asks me as she gets to my side of my car. "Yeah, it was good.. I made a lot of money.. I know you did, too, especially after that amazing tip earlier." I state playfully trying to make my mood stay light. She smiles as she declares. "Yeah, I won't complain.. but.. I can't help but notice the sadness in your eyes.. what's wrong.. you just said you had a good night." she states as I huff out. I look from my car to her just to explain my thoughts, which is seen to be plaguing my mind. "I.. am.. confused.. I just don't know what to think.. I saw Evan.. you know, one of the guys that I tried going on a couple of dates with before he ghosted me. When our eyes locked after a little bit, he looked... panicked.. as if he never knew I worked there, but maybe he didn't. He just threw money at his friend and left without saying a word to me or them.. I guess that would make sense since he didn't want to see me after our dates, or he would've done so. But seeing him throw the money down in an instant and practically run from me.. makes me feel almost.. disgusting.. as if I'm repulsive." "You should never think that! Obviously, he was drunk or maybe on some drugs and being paranoid.. don't let this get to you and ruin your mood.. we had a good night at work, and sometimes that is hard to come by, so take what you can get girly." She states as she slaps my back before walking around my car to get to hers. "See you at home, Mia." She yells across at me as I smile and nod. "See you there." She hops in and shuts the door behind her as I do the same. I wait for her to back out before I do the same, then follow her straight back to our apartment complex. We practically run from our cars, up the stairs, and to our front door just to burst through. I can feel that the adrenaline rush from the night is wearing off, and the exhaustion is hitting me hard. "See you in the morning, girl.. I'm exhausted." I state to her as she yells back. "Me too! sweet dreams, lovely!" I wave over my shoulder before getting into my room, shutting the door and stripping down. I slip my onsie pajamas on before snuggling into my comfy warm covers. I turn on the TV to give myself some white noise because that's the only way I can sleep in the city on my own. It's a comforting thing. I feel my body quickly relaxing as if it has been dreaming of this moment all day, and maybe it had been. I don't know when it happened, but the darkness takes over, leaving me to sleep the rest of the night away. ------Hours Later------ I peak out, only for a moment through my eyelids that seem to feel locked shut. I can sense my body waking up as I stretch in bed for absolutely no reason whatsoever, which is frustrating, especially since I feel completely exhausted as if I didn't get a wink of sleep. I squint from the light of my TV that is glaring in my face, causing my eyes to automatically water. I groan out, glancing beside my bed and over at my dresser where my clock sits. With the bright red numbers, I can sufficiently determine that I have a couple more hours before I even have to attempt to get up and get ready for work. So I quickly cover my head with the blanket as I roll over to try to go back to sleep. I bundle back up under my warm, comfy blanket, letting out a deep breath to try to lull myself back into the deep sleep. "Before we move onto the weather report, we have another warning for the people of this big city. Yes, it is big but not too big to help keep each other safe.. Make sure to not just keep yourselves safe out there, but please keep your eyes open for the safety of the women out there who may be alone or who might need help. Another woman was assaulted last night on the corner of 12th and pennalton." I pry my eyes open as I turn my body back towards the TV before turning my head to face the TV as well. This comment has grabbed my attention, and as a single woman who is alone, a lot of the time going back and forth between school, work, and my apartment, news like this sounds alarming. Sadly, it's enough to pry my mind out of the deep sleep I was hoping to get back into. It's the same morning news caster I have seen before, talking about another serious situation. These assaults that he is refrencing have been happening all over the city for months now, making it scary to be a woman who works at night.. I sit up in bed, making sure to turn and face the TV now that it has my undivided attention. "This is the 12th reported case with all the same clues left behind. A bite mark in a particular spot, sperm, and the same words said to each woman, which I can not disclose here. He has a weapon every time to be able to hold them at knife point.. They have not been able to get DNA matches from the bitemark that is left on the women. So until the police find any other matches or leads, please make sure not to go out alone at night. I would recommend that if you have to, then carry a weapon or make sure to walk out in groups.. if you see any men suspiciously walking around and following you, then don't be afraid to call the authorities.. We don't want false accusations against every man out there, but we want you to be able to feel safe in your own city. This is the description given by the victims of his assault.. if you see him at all, call this tip line at the local police department. Thank you, and stay safe out there." I stare at the sketched picture of this man, but he has a hood that covers most of his face, only showing a short beard and mustache. But nothing showing eyes or any other specific details to his face that could help. It looks like any man with a beard and hood could be blamed for this stack of attacks.. scary, really. I see men that look like him regularly at my work... every night. So I will be on edge now seeing that. I shake my head, hating the city life.. there is always some violence going on from robberies to break-ins or, like now, s****l assaults. It's makes me consider going back to the little country town where I came from. Where criminal activity rarely happened.. but then I think about the life I have built here over the years, and that idea easily goes out the window. I turn to open the blinds as the bright light bursts into my room. When my eyes adjust to the light I can see the pool is finally open and I have been waiting weeks for this. That thought alone makes me happy, I have been wanting to swim for a while now, but I dont ever have the time to go somewhere between all the chaos in my busy schedule.. but now that it's practically at my doorstep, I may finally have time to do what I love. I smile to myself as I turn around and look at my room. With the morning light illuminating the entirety of my room, it seems to be easy to wake up. It felt like it took me forever to fall asleep, but once I did, I was hoping that I could sleep forever. But of course it was only a measley 3 hours. My eyes feel heavy, but they won't seem to stay closed. I instantly pick up my phone, seeing if I have missed any calls or messages.. and of course, I'm let down by the blank notifications on my lock screen. I groan out, sitting up, not knowing what to do.. Once again, I have been ghosted by a man that I was stupid enough to give a chance.. Just like the other man from last night.. Maybe I should take my roommate, Naomi's advice, and just go back to women. I just thought Stephan and I had a spark and maybe a connection that could develop into something more.. we didn't have much in common, but that doesn't mean we can't eventually develop something between us to share by taking an interest in each other's likes and hobbies.. Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is.. because in this world where there seem to be so many people out there who are single, there seems to be almost the same amount that don't even want to try. I just want to be happy with someone who would appreciate me like I deserve, and that's seems to be easier said than done. The deep breath I force into my lungs makes them feel almost compressed, but it was something that was needed. The fresh air in my lungs seems to help wake me up more than I thought it would. I slink across the room, swinging my bedroom door open and heading straight to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.