Mean Gods

Chapter 3

Chapter 9: Horace

Horace got back inside his home. He peeked into the living room to double-check that he wasn’t imagining things. Nope, there she was, Acedia, snoring softly, the blanket up to her waist, TV still playing.

What was he going to do with her? He didn’t really believe their story but he didn’t have the heart to kick her out. Did she wanna move in?

Horace wouldn’t mind that, he definitely had the space to spare and needed the cash. But could she even afford anything?

Acedia looked like the apotheosis of that lazy friend you had at university, the one bumming all your cigarettes, crashing on your couch, eating all your leftover pizza.

The one who inserted himself like a leech into your life until things got too serious to ignore and you had to cut him off rudely.

He put the lemonade plus a few more munchies in the fridge. He noticed it running warm, so he leaned inside and adjusted the temperature. It wasn’t Summer yet but the days kept getting hotter and hotter.

His leftover anger for Acedia barging into his place and planting herself on his sofa evaporated quickly.

If he had to admit it, he was kinda lonely. Sure, he saw people at work but nothing like being friends with anyone. And his parents had been away for a long time. He’d seen them two times in the past five years. They always invited him over to Australia and offered to pay for his flight but he never went through with it.

So now, he had a huge apartment all to himself, big enough to house a family, three bedrooms, two toilets, living room, balconies all over, good enough view in a green area, one-hundred and twenty square metres to feel bad about himself.

He knew the logical thing to do was to rent out the apartment and go live somewhere more affordable, but he always put it off for next year and time just went by. Things popped up, you know?

He went into his boyhood room and shut the door. Doing that, shutting the door, was something he hadn’t gotten used to doing these last few years. He took out the action figures from the box and put them on the shelves, next to the other ones in his collection.

Horace knew he wasn’t making it easy for himself to flaunt his geeky interests at his place of work. People snickered and made fun of him when he turned his back, but after a couple of months nobody really bothered anymore. He just couldn’t understand it, the guy right next to him had a full-blown Olympiacos shrine over there, in reds and whites. Athletes, cups, ticket stubs of some football championship or another.

Why was this considered tolerable and normal?

It was a shitty double-standard. The sports fans dressed up, painted their bodies, behaved like insane people and it was somehow more acceptable than a bunch of intelligent guys quietly appreciating storytelling and playing video games.

Horace realised he was doing the same thing, judging Acedia by a two-minute encounter. He decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. He dusted off the action figures and the other statues in his collection. He always preferred sci-fi stories, but the women from fantasy tales were always calling to him.

Then he relaxed in his room for a bit, thinking about what snack to make afterwards for the both of them. Something healthy, carrots and s**t. Yeah, that would be best. He knew he was in for a long haul of job-seeking days, and he knew damn well from past cycles in his life that he slowly fell to bad habits, like eating takeout every day and sleeping in. It was inevitable, he knew that, but the more he pushed back the decay, the better.

He stood up and got to wash some dishes, taking extra care not to make a lot of noise. It was easy to tell if Acedia was still napping, you just had to listen for the cute snoring sound.

It was late but there was still light. The days were getting longer. He prepared a somewhat healthy dinner, turkey and cheese sandwiches with a side of carrots and potato chips. He’d go for healthier groceries tomorrow. He could no longer hear Acedia snoring. He picked up two of the chilly lemonades and brought the tray to the living room.

She turned her droopy eyes towards him. “Mmm, nice. Is this for me?”

“Yeah, thought you’d be hungry by now.” He put the tray on the coffee table and sat down next to her, but not too close so as to make her uncomfortable.

If she minded, she didn’t show it.

“Wow. That’s very sweet of you,” Acedia said in her drolling voice. She picked up a carrot with an oh-so-slow motion and nibbled on it like a rabbit.

He sighed. “Acedia, look. If this is a joke, I’m not in the mood. I’ve just been fired today and I need to take a minute and think about what I’m gonna do, you understand.”

She waved the worries away. “Wow. Relax,” she breathed out the word. “Let go of the worry. This is us, here, now. You and me. Let’s enjoy each other’s company. Let’s eat snacks and watch some TV shows. I’m in the mood for some crime drama, just a season or two.”

Horace snorted. “That argument of yours went in a way different direction than what I thought it would.”

Acedia ate a potato chip. It was a very small one. No wonder she was so skinny. “Don’t you like to binge?”

“Oh, I do like it! But…” his voice trailed off. Yeah, what was he worrying about? Today had been a shitty, weird day. He needed to cool off and empty his mind by the time-honoured tradition of bingeing on bad TV shows, not worry his ass off about tomorrow. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

Acedia smiled but it didn’t go all the way up her cheeks. Gods, she was too lazy to even smile properly? What a weird little lady.

Horace shrugged, leaned back next to Acedia, put on a TV show with criminals and stuff and munched on his chips, letting the worries wash off of him.