Enslaving the King

Chapter 12

“Hayden!” Raine called, striding into the office, clutching The Shirt to his chest. His breath rasped in and out with exertion. He'd half-run, half-powerwalked to Hayden's office.

Raine stopped short. Hayden was sitting in his fancy golden throne behind the desk. Raine could make out a glass of alcohol in his hand dangling over the edge of the chair. Something seemed different, but Raine couldn’t tell what from the distance.

“Raine?! What the hell are you doing here?!” Hayden snapped and staggered to his feet, keeping his back to Raine. His hair was a bigger mess than usual, going every which way. Something...heavy stooped his usually tall shoulders. He walked to the grand windows behind his desk, leaning against them. Raine saw his reflection, but it was too far away to make out details.

Raine slowly approached. "Hayden?"

"Stop."

Raine stopped.

"What do you want?" Hayden's voice was ragged, as if he'd been punched in the stomach. "Now's not a good time, pumpkin..." It was different than Hayden's anger, Raine thought. He sounded...frayed at the edges, like a ripped piece of cloth, like if a puff of wind blew through the room it'd knock him over. Raine had seen Hayden vulnerable...but this was different. 

"I think... I have something of yours?" Raine said, trying to puzzle through what was happening. He looked around and...oh.

Hayden's mask lay on the desk.

Despite the command to stop, Raine walked up to the desk and set The Shirt down by the mask, curiosity growing. Still, Hayden wouldn't face him.

"I...have to ask something," Raine said. He drew a deep breath. Now or never. "Are we soulmates?"

Hayden didn't move, didn't react.

"Hayden...answer me. Please."

Hayden turned around. His eyes focused on The Shirt, and Raine noted the familiarity in them. "I...thought I'd lost that to the cleaning bots," Hayden muttered.

Time froze.

“It’s true, then." Raine's eyes widened at what he saw on Hayden's face. He tried to breath, bringing his hands together and nervously tugging at his sleeves. “You have a soulmark… And that scar, holy s**t, what happened to you ?”

The change came over Hayden in an instant, his posture going rigid. “You shouldn’t see this,” he growled, turning away again, trying to hide what was too late to take back. The gesture was so vulnerable, it ached in Raine’s chest. Raine drew closer, navigating with cautious steps around the desk. Hayden was still trying to avoid him, gaze pushed away from Raine’s direction. He was tense, as if he might bolt 

"It's okay."

The glass in his hand shattered, spilling alcohol and glass.

Raine froze, waiting.

“Hayden...your hand,” Raine breathed, seeing glass shards on it. He couldn’t tell if there was any in his skin.

Raine reached out and touched Hayden's arm carefully, before sliding his hand down to Hayden's wrist. He lifted the hand, lighting up his Echo Eye to examine the damage. It wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. He gripped one of the handkerchiefs Hayden kept on hand, tugging it from Hayden's pocket, and gently wiped the loose glass off. “Wait right there,” Raine said. Hayden gave no response. Raine left quickly and returned even quicker with some tweezers from a nearby medical kit.

Hayden was silent, uncharacteristically so. Raine removed the few glass bits that were in the skin. All of them were quite shallow. None had even caused any bleeding. Guess those dumb callouses were good for something.

After he was done, Raine looked up at Hayden's face, cautiously. Hayden wasn’t quite as faced away now, but he was avoiding Raine’s gaze.

“It’s alright,” Raine offered with a smile. 

Raine’s hand landed on Hayden's face as lightly as possible, tugging it back around so Raine could examine the marks better. Hayden let out a shuddering sigh. Raine felt the slightest of trembles in his tense body. He rubbed Hayden's jaw with his thumb, trying to be soothing. Hayden tensed and knocked his hand away. A disapproving frown appeared, and then disappeared just as quickly.

"Sorry," Raine murmured. He let his hand rest on Hayden's chest instead.

The scar...was hard to look at. Not because it was ugly, but because it looked old and painful, as if it might still be causing Hayden discomfort. The skin around it appeared leathery and hard like it hadn't healed right. The scar itself was a weird blue shade with a smooth texture, and it ran up the right side of Hayden's face, to his forehead, then down through his left eye. The eye was blank and white, blind.

Raine’s heart clenched. He'd never realized Hayden had blindness. Did...Hayden's mask somehow correct that or...? Raine had so many questions.

“Raine,” Hayden uttered, hoarse. “Could you...say something?”

"I..."

Raine realized...the partially obliterated soulmark there was the remnants of a handprint.

Swaying bodies, loud music, a swift impact against Raine's ass. He felt a spear of alarm and recognition. Someone had just f*****g smacked his ass, and they were going to pay for it. Fire in his chest, he spun around, hand connecting with a face with satisfying strength, open-palm for a good slap. The person's face jerked at the force of the hit. Raine had five seconds to enjoy it. Then another few to stumble back with a strangled sound of terror…

He’d just...hit...Lord Hayden? f**k! How? How was this even-

Lord Hayden looked back at him, glaring with murder in his eyes. Raine knew he should run. If he did, he might just be able to get away - long shot, maybe. Hayden probably had a gun. f**k, f**k- Raine was frozen solid. Hayden growled something Raine couldn't hear and snagged Raine's wrist, dragging him along through the crowd.

Raine was going to die, wasn't he? 

“It was you,” Raine whispered. He wasn't sure he'd fully believed Vaughn, but now... Memories were starting to trickle in. Like flashbacks.

“What?”

“Sir- I-” Raine tried as he stumbled after Hayden. “I’m really sorry- I-I didn’t mean to- I didn't know-”

"Shut up." Hayden slammed Raine against a wall and...kissed him? Hard. He smelled of alcohol and cologne, body warm and flushed, probably drunk. Raine struggled to catch up with the situation. Smooth lips were coaxing him into a rhythm. Raine was suddenly too heady to care about anything else except the way Hayden's mouth felt on his. Just as he forgot everything, Hayden pulled back. “Mmm, I like you, babe. Real feisty... I wanna f**k your brains out-”  Hayden paused for a second and shook is head, as if fighting with something. "I...wait..."

Raine grew headier by the second. The room was foggy, except for Hayden, who was sharper than reality. His mask seemed to glow. Raine half wondered if he had been drugged. He hadn’t been drinking anything lately, so he didn’t know how it’d be possible. The thought was light and breezy and swept away in a heartbeat. Hayden's hand traced down Raine's abdomen, applying pressure in just the right ways. The moment of indecision was passed.

“ Please, sweetcheeks,” Hayden breathed. “Lemme ruin you.”

Raine moaned and nodded, feeling his face flushing deep and harsh. “Y-yeah, I’d...like that.”

Hayden kissed him once more, just as hard but deeper this time. Raine mentally traced every touch, every tug and push of hands and lips.

“Your soulmark...that night at...Aries. I remember now.”

Raine shivered, Hayden's hands moving under his shirt, touching everywhere-

Hayden said nothing, his one good eye glinting.

“Did you know? Did you remember that night?” Raine whispered, heart pounding. Please say no, please say no-

Hayden's eyes narrowed. “Friggin’ hell, Raine. You’re that hung up on it?! I thought you’d be more bothered by the ugly ass scar- ”

“Did you know ?!” Raine’s sudden volume made Hayden wince and step back as if burned.

“I…Christ, babe. Not at first- Not until...a week-ish ago? And only because I happened to remember I’d gone to Aries that night the stupid mark started glowing. So I got curious and decided to see if I could find anything - just, ya know, 'cause I could. Found out I'd checked into one of the exec s*x rooms that night.” Curiosity ? That’s all it was to him?! Just a curiosity!? It’d never burned at Hayden, not knowing-? “So I uh...I checked the recording equip-”

“You recorded it!?”

“It’s automatic, in case the execs wanna...rewatch the times they had, but...yeah, guess so.” Hayden sighed. “Gotta say it’s a real pity I don’t remember that night cuz, uh, wow- ”

“Shut your mouth!”

Hayden's mouth clamped shut - surprisingly - eyes widening in a way that seemed to register a mistake, if not fully, then partially.

“You knew !” Raine snapped, shaking. “You knew , and you didn’t tell me ! But you promised you would!!" His heart ached. He’d been stabbed in the chest. “That’s on top of watching- watching our first f**k and deciding not to share that?! What the f**k?! Why?!”

There was a long pause, one that made Raine want to scream.

Hayden cleared his throat. “Honestly? I don’t believe in this soulmark s**t, Raine. I believe we fall in love with people who aren’t our soulmates just fine! I’ve done it! And it sucks. It's not worth it, everything just goes to s**t. Not because of destiny or whatever, but because love is shit."

"Cut the bullshit," Raine hissed. "Let's just...just talk about the real reason this is a problem for you. It's because I'm a w***e, right? A male w***e at that? Couldn't let yourself feel for someone like me, could you!? That would be the worst!" Raine felt like he’d been stabbed again. He couldn’t f*****g breath. He pulled his own hair, back-stepping as if to retreat from Hayden. “God you’re the actual worst, aren’t you?”

Hayden took a step after, expression confused. “Raine-”

“This...was important to me! You promised!" He repeated helplessly. Once it started, it couldn't be stopped. All of Raine's pent up frustrations and anger came pouring out in an instant. "And you knew that after… Do- do you know how many nights were sleepless knowing I’d never know who it was who’d lit up that mark? How much I cried over...over someone who I thought I’d never meet? Someone I’d apparently f****d but couldn’t recall?” Fists balled against his temples. “But it was you ! I always imagined my soulmate would be...I don’t know, amazing and perfect and- But- but it was you all along ! The biggest asshole on the station!” He dropped his hands. “I can’t believe this! What did I do to f*****g deserve this?!”

“It’s just a stupid soulmark,” Hayden snapped, throwing out his hands. “Why does it have to mean so much? Because someone said so at some point!? We ain’t lovers, i***t! w***e or not, because I don't give a s**t about that-”

“Because I care !” Raine interrupted. “And that doesn’t even matter to you! You don’t care that I do! When I found my soulmate, I- I wanted to fall in love with them! I wanted to know what that’s like! But you- you’re just a slap in the face!” 

“Oh baby, you’ll learn that love ain’t worth a fuckin’ s**t in the end,” Hayden spat. “You want it now, but it just leaves you with nothing! Every goddamned time!”

If Raine had been in a better headspace, he might have noted the pain behind the words. But Raine wasn’t. It just cut deep with everything else, and he was...fucking through with it. All that effort to stay by Hayden's side…for this? God, he shouldn’t have done this, everyone told him so, even that stupid little voice in his head. Raine stomped forward and jabbed a finger at Hayden's marred face. He wanted to hit Hayden, hard, let out the anger, make this man feel even an ounce of pain Raine did. "Again you just deny- You know what, Hayden? I don't know why I f*****g bother. You don't care about anyone but yourself!" Raine turned and stormed for the door.

Hayden called, “Where the hell you goin’, cupcake?”

“Away from you! I quit!” Raine shot over his shoulder and left.

Or tried to. Just as he reached the office door, it shut and locked tight, the red light glowing above it as an indicator, like the door had that night in Holloway’s office.

Raine froze, anger and shock flooding him. He spun toward Hayden, who was approaching him with a cold expression. Hayden grabbed his gun off the desk, and Raine’s stomach rolled. However, Hayden jammed it into his leg holster, an afterthought. With his ruined face and glowing soulmark, he did look like the monster Raine should’ve always taken him for, the one people whispered about behind closed doors, the murderer and maniac. “Let. Me. Out !” Raine snapped, voice trembling. He was terrified if he were honest with himself. Hayden walked until he was a few feet from Raine. He obviously wasn’t in a merciful mood. His expression was vicious. 

Hayden closed the distance and grabbed Raine's wrist, yanking him froward. “Quiet down, now…” Raine clenched his jaw, sick. “Well...I guess that’s that, huh?” Hayden's face had gone almost blank, and in a way, that was more terrifying than the inconsolable rage that was Hayden's typical murdery mood. "You wanna betray me like everyone else I dare to trust with even an inch of my life, huh?"

“Really?” Raine hissed, throat tightening. “I'm not the one who lied!"

Hayden shook his head. "You have access to my penthouse. You've seen me without the mask. You've slept with me... You know things you shouldn't. You’re a liability. You got close to me. You weakened me!” His face hardened.

"If that's true, why'd you let it happen? You could've stopped this at any time!" Anger surged through Raine. He was ready to fight. “You know what, Hayden? f**k. You.” He spat. He yanked his arm, but the hold didn't break. “I almost got myself killed - with, with Vasquez and- because I bothered to f*****g care about you- and this is how you want it to f*****g end!?”

"You're the one who wants to walk out, all over a friggin' soulmark. So much for caring!"

Raine was about to start crying, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t be that weak in front of Hayden. Hayden pressed closer, and Raine's eyes widened when he saw Hayden's other hand tracing the gun on his thigh in thought. Raine's heart was hammering so hard, he thought it might explode. Raine didn’t understand why Hayden bothered getting so close. The gun would’ve been enough from the office chair.

"You gonna kill me, then?" Raine breathed, swallowing. After everything, this was the way Hayden wanted this to end?

Oh god, Hayden wanted to strangle him, didn't he?

"Do I have a choice?" Hayden asked, grinding his teeth. "What's to stop you from going to my enemies? Telling them everything you know. Bet you've got lots of blackmail in that head of yours that you've been collecting-"

“f**k you!” Raine yelled, tears pricking his eyes. “You think so lowly of me!? This is what I get for trusting you! You told me this wouldn’t happen- you promised! I’m not the liar here, Hayden! I should’ve listened when they told me you were too dangerous for me. But did I? God I’m an i***t!” Raine struggled for a while longer to get his arm free, confused that he hadn’t yet been strangled or shot...or that Hayden hadn’t said a word.

Raine finally stilled in defeat, looking up at Hayden. Hayden's expression was impossible to read. 

Several agonizing seconds passed.

He expected to feel the death grip on his throat at any moment now. Maybe the cold press of the gun muzzle against his temple.

Neither happened.

“I...don’t wanna kill ya, Raine. I can’t do it...” Hayden's voice sounded so empty.

Hayden let go and walked away.

The office door dinged, unlocking. Raine jumped, shooting it a glance before looking at Hayden... Hayden didn’t even look back at him.

It hurt.

It hurt a lot.

God everything hurt so much .

Raine stood there uncertainly for a moment. He'd been intent on leaving, had been doing everything in his power to just a moment ago. Now that he could...he didn't want to. He...if only he could...fix whatever this was, somehow. He cast one more look at Hayden. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, thought better of it, and twisted around. He didn’t want to change Hayden's mind on sparing him. He hurried out the door, everything still aching- his body, his heart, his soul, his pride.

At least he was alive.

Raine sat on the floor of his room, in the dark, back against the bed, trying not to think. He'd been locked in for awhile, stifling his need to cry as best he could. He hated how the little voice in his head kept saying it'd told him so. He tried so hard to push it all away, even as thoughts of Hayden and everything they'd done together wanted to swarm in as a cruel reminder of what he'd screwed up. Don't think, don't think, don't think, Raine.

He heard a knock on the door.

"Raine?" Yvette's voice called through the metal. "Can I come in?"

"Hang on." Raine sighed, rubbing his face. It was wet, but he ignored that, forcing his legs to work. He stood and flicked on the lights, wincing at their strength. He crossed the room and opened the door. "Uh, what's going on?" He asked in a rough voice. He winced at himself and tried to clear his throat.

Yvette looked him up and down, concern in her eyes. "I was worried. You seemed upset..."

"It's...nothing."

"If you need to talk, I'm here."

Raine turned around, going back into the room. He dropped on his bed. Yvette followed, sitting beside him.

Raine met her gaze slowly. Maybe...maybe it wouldn't be so bad to vent a little, right? He wouldn't have to say everything. "I found out who my soulmate was."

"And?" She prompted, brow raised. "Who was it?"

"They weren't...who I was expecting. I..." His throat tightened again. Tears threatened to spill over. He had to take several breaths before he spoke. Yvette rubbed his back soothingly. And still, his voice was pathetically pitched. "I just wanted to find them, Vette." He felt like child, whining. "B-but he didn't want to find me.... He only cares about himself... I..." He sobbed, burying his face in his hands.

Yvette pulled him into a hug. "Hey, hey...I'm sorry, Raine. Do we need to egg someone's house?" She rubbed his back, carding a hand through his hair soothingly.

Raine snorted in spite of himself, hiccupping. "No, no, that...that probably wouldn't be good. I...I think I just want to be alone for now... But maybe we can get some drinks tomorrow. Like...I wanna get really drunk... But I think I need to cry tonight for awhile first?" He'd been fighting the tears, but he knew he had to accept them.

"Sure. Anything you need, Raine." Yvette said in a soft voice. Raine stayed in the hug for awhile longer before forcing himself to draw back. Yvette continued. "Just let me know if you need anything. I'll get some warm broth for you."

Raine managed a smile. "Thanks... Yvette. I don't deserve you."

"Yes, you do. You deserve only people who care about you in your life. Don't forget that. And don't let that asshole destroy your heart. And just so we're clear, the egging thing is still on the table. That or I can go punch him for you."

Raine snorted. "No I...I think he's been punched enough."

"Okay," Yvette said doubtfully. She drew back and left the room.

Raine slumped onto the bed, letting the lights go dim. And he cried. Cried for most of the night, only falling asleep when he got too exhausted to cry any more.