Chapter 8 - LOGAN
1198 Words
I had run for a good hour if not longer, up into the woods and beyond, needing to get away, let my anger out. Hunting some small prey as I went.
I planned to go and lie in the afternoon sun by the waterfall to calm myself, but as I approached I saw a figure standing on the peak of the falls, at first glance I didn't realize who it was, just that they looked to be contemplating stepping off and that I needed to get there to help, to stop them.
It was only when I approached them that I realized with a falling heart that it was Lilah. Had our situation really brought her to this?
I didn't have time to shift from my wolf form, nor did I think me appearing naked unexplained right now would be particularly helpful.
So I rapidly approached her in my wolf form. She didn't even look up, maybe with her mind on other things and the sound of the waterfall hitting the rocks and the lake below, she didn't hear me approach.
I did the only thing I could think of at that moment and nudge her with the tip my nose. She looked shocked, she hadn't seen me in my wolf form. We'd promised for her to see me shift at some point today, after having my first shift in the early hours of my birthday with my mum and dad.
So she wouldn't have known it was me, but despite my wolf's size, she wasn't intimidated or scared. I thought I'd done enough to convince her to step back and rethink her plan when she pushed me away saying she needed space and time alone.
I got that, and could understand that. So I walked away, planning to sit in the trees to make sure she was ok.
I shifted back to my human form, feeling my bones pushing back into the human shape, which was still new to me and still a pretty painful process, but one I'm told gets easier and less painful as you do it more often.
I peered around the tree to look at Lilah again and my heart plummeted to see her standing at the waterfall edge once more...
"LILAH NO!" I bellowed, hoping that would be enough to distract her from the inevitable plan she seemed to have. Knowing my only other option was to run out to her naked.
When we shift from wolf form to human form, we shift back to having no clothes on. There would be shorts in the woods as we do put some pairs in the woods for the patrols and for the pack runs, but right now my priority was Lilah, not whether or not I had clothes on.
"Lilah please don't do this, I beg you, I know you're hurting but don't....." she was still standing too close to the edge for my liking. I stepped out of the trees using my hands to cover my manhood, so as to save at least some embarrassment.
She glanced back again, clearly startled by what she saw but still did not move from the cliff edge.
"Lilah please, there has to be a reason this was fated, don't do this, think of your mum and dad, this would break them...." I shouted to her as I approached.
In an instant she stepped back and had crumbled to her knees. I wanted to run to her and hold her, but my lack of clothes made that an impossible situation.
“Lilah I'm so sorry I truly am. I wanted you as my mate, I still do, I truly do. But the moon goddess must have a plan for you baby" I tried to explain as she sobbed into her hands. "Just know that I love you and, if I'm honest, I truly believe I always will, Lilah."
She raised her beautiful aqua eyes to look at me. I loved her eyes, like pools of pure blue. The sunlight reflecting off them made them look like precious jewels, they were mesmerising. Right now the beautiful blue was surrounded by bloodshot red from all the crying, and I hated that I was the cause of that. "I love you too, Logan" she said in between her gasps and sobs.
"Look Lilah, I will go find some pants, so you don't have a half-naked me to contend with, but please don't jump, I will be back, we can talk, we can sort things through, come up with a plan. I hate that you're hurting, but we can make it better. There has to be a way", I explained to her. She looked up at me with a small nod.
She looked away as I ran into the forest to find some pants, knowing there would be some in the outer edge trees for our border patrols.
I am so glad she was giving us a chance to talk. She did seem a little calmer. Maybe there could be a way to solve things. We would always be friends, if nothing else, surely? We'd been friends forever, so that couldn't change just because of this, right?
She was the most patient and caring person I knew, so I doubted she would suddenly decide we were done with. Well okay, maybe as boyfriend and girlfriend we may have to be, as much as I hated that thought.
Our time together had been amazing, since that first kiss when she was angry at me, to all the other kisses, figuring stuff out together, holding her while she fell asleep was one of my favorite memories together, and it hurt like crazy to know that wouldn't be happening again.
We had made so many plans thinking she would be my fated mate, even our pack elders had predicted that. I don't get how so many people could be so wrong?
I noticed some pants inside the bark of one of the trees near the outer edges of our border not far from the lake and grabbed them and put them on, quickly making my way back to Lilah, knowing we finally had our chance to talk that wouldn't be interrupted by anyone because nobody was out here this time of year unless it was organized patrol or organized pack runs.
I still can't believe she would even think of taking her own life over this. I wasn't worth that, our relationship wasn't worth that surely? No relationship is worth that, is it?
I know she will be hurting right now. Hell I am hurting. I feel like my heart is breaking, but at the same time, my heart is happy because it met its mate, so my body is f*****g clueless right now about what it wants.
My heart dropped as I realized Lilah didn't have that happiness to counteract the pain, she must be going through the worst imaginable pain, I just needed to hold her and tell her it would be ok.
I quicken up my pace as I step around the trees to the ledge where the waterfall is, ready to talk all this through, but Lilah is gone...
- Writer
