Burning Hearts

Chapter Four

Tana

I went shopping for a dress to wear out tonight. I’m going to the club to finally try and attract Casen’s attention. The dress is a dark blue. It hugs my body. I tried it on when I got back to the estate house and in my room. It fits me, but I need to know if I can dance in it.

The dress ran to just above my knees. I checked to see if it would ride up on me with a few exaggerated dance moves. The dress stayed in place mostly and only shifted a tiny bit. I showered and got ready after I ate dinner quickly. I did a s*xy make-up with a smokey eye. I left my hair down again to hang around my head. I didn’t even pin it this time.

I made my way to the club. I grabbed a sour apple martini and hid on the other side of the club, away from where Casen tends to hang out. I saw Orien scanning the room and usually where I was at. I wonder if he’s looking for me.

Orien took a red-haired girl up the stairs. I downed my sour apple martini and grabbed the man closest to me. It was now or never. “Dance with me.” I commanded him not asked. He followed me willingly. He did okay trying to keep up with me. A guy with blonde hair cut in. He wasn’t as good as the guy I pulled to the dance floor, but I realized I was drawing a crowd around me.

I danced with whatever guy stepped up to me. I heard the clapping in rhythm as the crowd circled me and watched me. It was kind of thrilling. I spun out of the guy who was trying his hardest to keep up with me and was falling short. That is when I collided into a strong muscular chest. His hands grasped me and steadied me.

I turned my back to him, continuing to dance. He grabbed my hand and it felt like a shock went through my hand and traveled through my whole body as he spun me. He dipped me and I let him lead me. He knew what he was doing. Our bodies worked in sync with each other. He lifted me, spun me and I matched him every time.

I felt like I weighed nothing to him with how easily he could do lifts with me. I snaked around his body, and he pulled me through his legs. I was gasping for breath. My body felt so alive. He helped me up. He tried to help me straighten out my dress and hair.

He brushed my hair behind my ear. I looked up into his eyes. The gray of them had me transfixed to be staring into them so close for once. He grabbed my hand and rushed me towards the stairs. I followed him. I will follow anywhere he wants to take me as long as he keeps touching me.

I was in a daze as Casen touched me everywhere he could reach. He tastes so good as he kisses me. I never want him to stop. He broke the kiss as he cupped my core. “I need to taste you.” He rasped. I tried to hold onto my sanity. I tried to tell him I was a virgin. I haven’t done any of this before other than a few kisses here or there, but nothing like this. “I, I…”

I was lost for words and felt empty as he pulled his finger from my body and sucked it deeply into his mouth. My head spun as his mouth devoured me. I grabbed at his hair. I soon was falling into a void of bliss, and I screamed with pleasure. I had to cover my mouth. I didn’t know I would scream like that.

I didn’t know what Casen was doing until he was lifting me and inside my body. I was too busy biting my hand as I floated through bliss. I went ridged. It hurt, but I was too distracted. I didn’t realize it for a few seconds until after he was in me.

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” He kissed at my face. I don’t want him to stop. I want him to keep going. I took some deep breaths to calm myself. I looked into his eyes. I gathered my courage. “What are you waiting for?” He didn’t disappoint me. He felt amazing. I never wanted him to stop.

Casen is good at more than dancing. My body was his to do as he wanted to. I just tried to hold onto a bit of my sanity. I felt the sensation build and this time I felt like I was dropped from a higher place. I screamed into his shoulder because I couldn’t do much else. He roared into mine. I felt the vibrations against my neck and shoulder.

I couldn’t control my limbs for a couple of minutes. I was just trying to breathe. He kissed my head repeatedly. He pulled out from my body. I felt empty and a little on edge, but not in a bad way honestly. My thoughts are a jumble. I can’t believe I just had s*x and with Casen. “I, uh need to go clean up.” I stammered.

I adjusted and fixed my dress back in place. He ripped my panties, so it was futile to try and find them in this dark alcove. I glanced at Casen as I left the alcove. I couldn’t believe how big he is. I couldn’t fathom that he had all of that in my body.

He felt amazing. I know this, but his size is a little daunting. I made my way down the stairs, and I slipped through the crowd when Orien wasn’t paying attention. I made my way outside and to my car. I climbed in. I am starting to feel tender. I steeled myself to make the drive back.

I used the driveway near the former stables that was converted into a garage to park our cars and store items that tend to the property. I made my way into the staff’s entrance near the kitchen. I walked softly to my room carrying my heels. I don’t want to wake anyone and draw attention to myself.

I entered my room and closed my door quietly. That was the last of the control I had. I collapsed on my bed on my stomach face down into my pillows. My heels slipped through my hand to the floor. I let go of my small purse I had kept hidden under the seat of my car.

My mind drifted off into sleep as my mind replayed what it felt like to be with Casen. I want more of him. I don’t know how I’m going to keep myself at a distance now. He is everything I hoped he would be and more.

~~~

I moved stiffly when I woke up to my alarm. I tried to move gracefully around the other staff. If they found out I had s*x with Casen I would lose my job. I was a bit sore and tender between my legs. I just wanted to get to Casen’s quarters. Nigel is making all of us work in the ballroom after our initial chores. I began my cleaning but slowly. I needed to strip his bedding for washing. I saw my ruined panties next to where his pillow was when I picked the pillow off the bed.

I want to be embarrassed. I want to throw them away, but I don’t want him to think anything is amiss. I finished stripping his bedding. I made his bed with clean sheets and bedding. I placed my panties back roughly where he had them. I wondered what is going through his mind today.

I continued to wonder if he was thinking about what we did last night or if he has already forgotten about me. I collected up his dirty laundry and I held the shirt he wore last night to my nose. I can smell him on it. I rubbed my face into the shirt, inhaling as much of his scent as I could before I placed it in the dirty clothes hamper. His laundry isn’t due to be washed until tomorrow. Only his bedding gets washed today, because they wash all the bedding on the same day.

I finished his quarters and made my way down the hall to put the vacuum back. I heard whistling coming from the other end of the hall and I peeked around the door of the storage room. I saw Casen heading my way. I tucked myself into the room, watching through the crack where the door meets at the door jam as he went into his room. Once he entered his quarters, I quickly made my escape.

My heart was beating wildly as I tried to catch my breath. My body wanted to knock on his door and reveal myself to him, but my mind refused, knowing the consequences if I did. My heart wanted to be near him, but it was also afraid he would reject me because I’m below his station. I’m an orphan. I have no family that I know of.

A tear leaked from my eye as I remembered why I came to be an orphan. I can still see the fire consuming the home where my mum and I lived. My room was spared from the blazing fire. That part of the house still had stone walls and my mum’s room, along with the rest of the house, was made of wood.

Memory

I smelled something burning. I pulled the covers down from over my head to peek into my bedroom. I didn’t see anything wrong at first. The dim glow of my lamp soon revealed smoke pouring into my room from below my door. I screamed. “Mummy!” She didn’t respond. I was crying. I didn’t know what to do.

I put my slippers on and grabbed my favorite teddy bear my mum had given me for my fifth birthday. “Mummy, help me.” I screamed and coughed while crying. I got really scared.

I pushed my wooden toy box closer to the window. I took my blanket off my bed, and I climbed on top of my toy box. I struggled to open the window, but I got it open enough to climb through.

I fell to the ground clutching my teddy and blanket. I coughed. I turned my head to see our house ablaze. I got off the ground. “NO, MUMMY, MUMMY!” I tried to run for the front door when someone grabbed me and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. He guided me away. I watched as the townsfolk watched my home burn and they did nothing to help my mum. There was nothing to help. The house was ash soon after.

I heard many call out witch and burn, witch burn. Some called out that my mum was the devil. I didn’t understand what they meant. My mum was the sweetest mum any kid could ask for.

I blinked as I dragged myself out of my memory when I was eleven. The tears had been rolling down my face as I thought about how no one would help my mum. They didn’t even help me other than what I learned was the farmer who lived next to us. He didn’t call my mum names. Jacob took me in after the fire. His wife was not happy.

Henrietta didn’t like me. She treated me cruelly every time Jacob wasn’t around. I had to clean the house spotless and cook. She made me tend to the animals in the barn too. Mostly I had to muck out the stalls when she wanted to be extra cruel, and Jacob was in the fields.

On more than one occasion, she pushed me facedown in the pig pen and laughed at me. She called me names and beat me. She threatened me to not ever tell anyone, or she would kill me. The worst thing she did to me though was to take my teddy and burn it in the fireplace in front of me, telling me I didn’t need toys. It was the last thing I had of my mum, I thought.

Jacob had scavenged my room and kept everything from my room hidden in the loft of the barn. He showed me when Henrietta passed away from cancer when I was seventeen. There wasn’t much in the box, and all of it had smoke damage. What mattered most was a picture book of me and my mum. My memories won’t fade about how happy I was before the fire. I got them back.

I wiped at my face. I slipped into my room quickly to fix myself to look presentable again. I don’t have class today. Instead of getting to do as I please though, I have to go help prepare for the Halloween ball. I steeled myself and made my way to the ballroom.

I had only briefly seen the inside of the ballroom before. It is massive. It is almost like it was made for royalty. I spied the floor, and I wanted nothing more than to dance on it to test it out. I controlled myself though. I still took a quick spin in a circle as I looked up into the high vaulted ceiling. I noticed I wasn’t the only one who looked up, so I didn’t feel bad.

The spirits were up even though we had to clean and set up decorations for the room. Nigel tasked me with scrubbing the massive floor with my hands. I wasn’t the only one to have to do it. It seemed like he tasked those of us who were young enough to get down on our hands and knees easily to scrub it.

I didn’t understand why it had to be scrubbed by hand. “Why does this have to be scrubbed by hand?” Thomas asked Nigel. “Master Corbin wants it to be. That is all you need to know.” Nigel responded curtly and with a warning in his tone to Thomas. Thomas glanced my way, and I gave an almost imperceptible shrug. I think he understood me.

I moved to the section of floor I was assigned and began scrubbing, keeping my head down. I know how to scrub floors by hand. I hate what Henrietta did to me, but at the same time, at least now I have a skill that I can earn money from. I did as I would with Henrietta. I started singing songs in my head. I also imagined myself dancing on this beautiful floor.

Nigel approved of my section of flooring, and he dismissed me. I was going to leave when I noticed Thomas struggling. I moved to the area he was working on and lowered myself to the floor to help him. He looked at me quickly and I winked. The more I do for work keeps the staff that don’t like me at bay. They are lacked to speak negatively about me either.

I took care of the supplies after helping Thomas. I walked towards my room. I was tired, but a part of it is because of last night with Casen and being assaulted by my memories of my mum. I never knew my dad and mum never spoke of him.

“Wait.” I stopped and turned to see Thomas coming towards me. “Thomas.” I said as he stopped in front of me. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you helped me.” “It was no big deal.” “Can I take you out?” I want to deny him, but it was encouraged for us to leave the house tomorrow night during the ball.

“I guess,” I replied. Thomas is nice looking. He has light brown hair and brown eyes. His face is pleasing to look at. He smiled at me. “What would you like to do?” He asked. “Go dancing at the club.” “Can I take you to dinner first?” I nodded. “Seven. I’ll meet you in the garage.” “Seven.” I agreed.

I would much rather go to the club with Casen, but he will have to be here. At least I can spend my time dancing and enjoying the evening. Halloween isn’t until Tuesday, or I would maybe dress in a costume for the club. Thomas walked with me to my room before he split to go to his room.

I looked at my room and it was kind of a mess. I proceeded to clean and straighten it out. Once I finished, I took a shower because I had been on the floor for hours. I let the water soothe my aching body. I wanted to go into the wooded area to practice my dance, but it was too late this evening and I’m too tired.

I dressed comfortably before heading to the kitchens to get my dinner. The smells coming off the kitchen were amazing. My stomach rumbled. You won’t get to eat whatever Casen and his family get to eat. I reminded my stomach. It looked like we were having baked chicken with squash and a dinner roll. I suddenly was looking forward to dinner tomorrow with Thomas.

~~~

I hadn’t realized when Thomas asked me out and to meet him in the garage that I would have to drive us. We barely talked the whole drive into London. I didn’t mind. I played my music and that always makes me feel good.

Thomas spoke more during dinner. I was worried it would be a boring dinner and regretting agreeing to this night. Thomas mostly talked about himself. I let him. I have nothing to tell him about myself really. Besides, he doesn’t need to know about my sad childhood after I lost my mum.

Thomas really picked up at the club. He drank and I had one sour apple martini to help loosen myself up. Thomas was amazed by my dancing. I still had to restrict it for him. He is decent. I sadly longed to dance again with Casen. I wanted to do more than just dance with him.

I was waiting at the side of the bar while Thomas used the bathroom. It seemed to be taking him a long while. He finally returned. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I ran into my mate and he was about to leave. He asked if I wanted to hang out. Would you be terribly upset if I did?” “No, go have fun.” “You’re the best.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I had fun tonight.” He added. “Me too.” I smiled at him.

I made my way to the bathrooms myself. My contacts were getting dry, and I needed to take them out. My eyes felt better once I removed them. I tucked them into my little clutch purse I had attached to my wrist. I decided I would go back out there and try to enjoy the evening before we were allowed to return to the estate.

A hand grasped my shoulder and spun me into a hard chest. I slowly raised my head to look into Casen’s gray eyes. He tilted my chin up further with his fingers before angling his head and pressing his lips to mine. I was lost to his kiss. He cupped my *ss through my jeans. I pushed away from him.

“We can’t.” There were too many people around us. Some may be kissing as well, but Casen’s kisses have started to become more demanding. “I want you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” He said low and huskily. My stomach fluttered that he has been thinking about me. I can’t stop thinking about him.

“There’s an inn close by,” I suggested nervously. He pulled me by my hand to the exit. “Which way?” I showed him. I wanted to ask why he wasn’t at his father’s ball, but he doesn’t know I know who he is. I also didn’t want to ask why he was in a tuxedo if it was a Halloween ball. Maybe it is a part of his costume. The thought occurred to me. Maybe.

We stopped outside of the inn. “Can you get the room? My father will kill me if he finds out I rented a room.” “Yeah, okay.” We went inside. I stepped up to the desk while he hung back. “One please.” The lady behind the desk looked around my shoulder at Casen. “We’ve had too much to drink, and we don’t live in the city.” I tried to explain the situation away. I honestly wished I drank more now.

She shrugged her shoulders, and we finished the exchange. She gave me the key. “Thank you.” I was nervous as I approached Casen again. Was I really going to go through with this again? YES! My body screamed at me along with my heart. Casen looked at me and all the other thoughts left as we made our way to the room.