Dark Truth

1

To make a difference in the world, you need to be different. Sometimes you get the feeling that you are blending in society and that you are worthless. But, you are wrong.

I put down my laptop and stood up to go for a walk. I feel so tired. Rain is knocking on my windows like it wants to come in and be my company. I need some fresh air. As I was walking towards my front door I noticed that my shoes are old and dirty. It’s time for a new one, I thought. Still, that needs to be just a thought because I can not afford any new ones. I put them on and went outside in the rain. The rain was hugging me like we are lovers, but I did not mind at all. It felt so good. So relaxing. There is nobody outside. My neighbors are locked inside their houses and I could only see shadows walking by windows form the light in their house. My neighbor  Travis had a pretty big shadow that made some smooth moves in waves of laughter. He is a good person. I remember the days when we were working together at Milo’s industry. He was my boss. He always stood for me. Those were the days. Now I wander alone, walking in the rain near some wet bushes on the pavement. Nevertheless, it is time to go home now. My shoes are falling apart.

I went into my house all wet and shivering. It is time to go back to my world. I sat down and took my laptop and start creating something that is beyond my imagination. Something crossed my mind. My friends, Darius and Helena, can’t have children. Let's make something for them. I started writing for them.

“Love sometimes can fool the human heart and bring them to the edge of making an enormous mistake. Shady shadows will always be around us. We are going daily through temptations and no matter how hard we try, we will always crumble and fall on the rock, losing everything that we worked for so hard. That is life, isn’t it? Morning ray of sun was shining on me and suns light was jumping from one cheek to another. I wanted to sleep more. It was Sunday. The sun wasn’t the only one who was playing with me. My love, Helena, was smiling with sparks in her eyes and she was making jokes early in the morning. I always wake up laughing. She is something. This morning was special. It was my birthday. She was early bird this morning and cooked breakfast while I was sleeping. She made pancakes with strawberries. My favorite. We laughed all day. She did not buy me a present, she said that she didn’t have time to buy it. It's ok I don’t need a present. The only present that I need is her in my life. Later that day while we were enjoying my birthday she spoke: “Honey, I have to tell you one secret that I can’t hold on to anymore”. I was curious and stunned. “I… I am pregnant.” she continued. I was thrilled. I screamed from happiness. We were trying for so long. I thought she gave up. I was always afraid that she would leave me. But she stood, right here by my side. That is the best present that I could ever get. This is the best birthday ever.”

I shocked myself. Why would I write something like that? They can’t have children. If this ever gets in their hands, they will be destroyed. No, I can’t do that. I need to delete this.

Even though I wanted to delete these writings, one part of me wanted to be true. I wanted them to be happy. I left it like that. I am so tired. Maybe I should go to sleep. This rain is making me so sleepy. And in one moment I just woke up. Phonecall. It’s Darius.

“-Hey, Evan.” –he says.

I couldn’t talk. I just woke up.

“-Are you ok?” –he asked.

“-Yeah, I am fine, just woke up.” – I replied.

“-I wanted to share something with you. Guess what? Helena is pregnant. Can you imagine? I am the happiest man on earth.” –he says with so much happiness in his tone.

“What?” –I replied.

“Yes, buddy.” –he continues –“she is pregnant.”

I started smiling and laughing because I felt his happiness. My god. They got their everlasting wish granted. I looked at the window while holding a phone on my ear and saw that the sun is shining bright. The rain stopped and there is no more knocking on windows. But, I am still tired.

“I am so happy for you!” –I replied.

After that, we finished our conversation. My hands are so dry. I realized that when I was brushing my eyes from the early sun. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. While I was cleaning my face with a cozy towel, I realized. Wait, didn’t I wrote about her being pregnant. I   ran to my laptop, opened it, and opened the word file where I was writing my thoughts for them. It was all there. It was their wish. I cried.

Is it true? Do I have the power of destiny? It must be a coincidence. I can not have any sort of power. I can’t change the world. I am just a commoner in a common world.

I laughed to myself. Such thoughts. Silly Evan Jones.

I made some coffee to drink it while working. As you already realized, I am a writer and I live poorly out of it. Once I worked at Milo’s industry with Travis as my boss, but while working there I felt so trapped in a world full of nails and hammers. Customer service wasn't the thing for me. It never was. So much patience and devotion. Customers never knew what they wanted and what they needed. Even though I have had more money than now I was not happy. This makes me happy. Writers are the only ones who can imagine a better world and have something out of it. Satisfaction. Running away from the world that we know and rushing in a world that we create. Nothing is better than that.

My laptop is filthy and dusty. I haven’t cleaned it in a while. Only the keyboard is clean. I guess from typing all those words that create beautiful worlds. With my inspiration and my coffee, I started writing something new, to see if I had the power of destiny. I wanted something basic, just to check. So I wrote:

“In the cold winter nights, in a small wooden cottage that was next to a big rich house, one puppy was born. He was a beagle with two colors, only white and brown. He did not see anything, he only felt cold. But his mother was there for him. Cherishing him and licking him from the blood of her to clean him and make him beautiful. He had two more brothers that felt the same. During several weeks they only knew about the world next to their mother. They never imagined that something will come and take them from her. Will the mother be sad? Soon,  they started jumping and playing and enjoying their family life. One cold winter day came, and one new family of human beings came to a big rich house to talk with owners about their beagles. Mother, father, and two sons. They wanted to make their children happy so they took our beagles, brothers, with three colors because they were about to bring happiness in their home. Our puppy was left alone with his mother. Mother was sad, vining, and crying. Several weeks have passed again, and our beagle wasn’t little anymore. He started investigating the world and learning stuff like, what is hot, what can harm him, and what can not. One day he found a hole in a wooden cottage and went through it. Sooner than later he was lost in the snow and couldn’t find a way back to the cottage. He wandered around and around until he came to one also big rich house and started scratching the door. The owner opened and saw him.  Beagle was afraid oh the big shadow that went over him. But that shadow, he can feel it, was happy and family-oriented.

“-Travis, who is it?” – the womanly voice came from inside the house.

“-Honey, it’s a beagle! The universe brought it to our daughter.” –he responded and took the beagle inside his house.

Ever since our beagle was happy and cherished.”

I look at the clock and saw that four hours have passed. The time flew. It was time for my walk. I went outside in my old saggy shoes. I am so tired. How come I can’t rest. What is happening to me? I went pass the Traviss’ house. Nothing has happened. I must be losing my mind if I thought that I would bring them beagle with my story. Maybe this tiredness has come to me. Maybe I should see a psychologist. I went to a store to buy some cigarettes. I never smoked in my life but I thought that maybe that will bring me something calm in my life. I came home with a box of Marlboro. I lighted one and I thought who can smoke in a world? It is making me sick. I threw it away immediately. Such a waste of money.

While I was having lunch I heard voices outside. I went to the window to see what is happening. Its Travis. At the door of his house. Looking down. Smiling. He crouched. What is he doing? He stood up with a beagle in his hands. What? I started shaking. Is it possible?

He went inside his house and I was left looking throughout the window, shaking. No, it is not possible. That must be one more coincidence in life. I should get a nap.

“-Evan” –something whispered.

“-Who is that?” – I started looking around the room. “-Intruder!” –I started yelling.

“-Evan, calm down. I am here in the closet.”-the voice responded from the dark.  

  I started looking towards the closet, it was too dark to see. I slowly went towards it to check who that was. I can’t see anything. I caught some courage and ran towards the closet, and turned on the light. Noone was there. Am I imagining things? Something grabbed my shoulders. I turned around but nothing was there again. I started screaming and yelling. Who is there? It is not funny!

I woke up.

Thank god. It was just a dream. But now I am laying in dark on my sofa. I stood and lighted up all rooms in my house. I was a bit scared.  I am such a coward.

The feeling came over me. I wanted to have a smoke again. Trashcan where the box of Marlboro was laying was calling to me. I went towards it and took one smoke. It feels nice this time. The second time is a charm they say. After a finished cigarette, I went to wash my face. Mirror in the bathroom was dirty but I could see my face anyway. I need to shave. I took the shaving foam from a drawer and started applying it on my beard. Razor cut me. I started bleeding. Memories came over me. Fran…

Fran was my fiance. We have been dating for 7 years until I proposed to her. She said yes with a thrill in her voice. Immediately she called her parents to tell them the good news. We were at dinner. After we paid our check, we went to our car to drive ourselves home. I was a bit drunk. We crashed near home. Later, all I remember was lying in bed at the hospital and the nurse was telling me that I am only one that survived.

Was she the voice of my dream?

I finished my shaving. It is time to start writing again. I am so slow at this job. My deadline is in two months and I didn’t write anything for my book.

Somebody knocked on my door.