Amore Mio

XV. The Golden Break-Up

Alice’s POV:

Tapping my foot on the cement, my mind wondered where the sitting duck was Ian! He was supposed to pick me up ten minutes ago for school so that we can play the whole fake relationship, lovey-dovey stuff. I even changed my online status to in a relationship for him that d**k.

When I felt someone tap on my shoulder, I swung around to see Neilson, still creepily smiling like always. “Good morning,” he chirps, looking happier this morning than other mornings.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I ask, eyes drawn down to see his fist wrapped in bandages. I grab his hand. “What happened?”

He retracts it, releasing a short chuckle. “Just got into a-” he pauses, “bar fight,” he grins, eyes lurking around. “Where is your boyfriend?”

I look around and shrug, then feel my phone buzzing. Pulling it out, I got a message from Ian telling me that he can’t pick me up today due to some problem. I feel another buzz seeing the next message, how we need to talk. I wonder what happened since the text seems serious.

Looking up, I can see Neilson peeking on my screen. “Something wrong?” He asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my head.

“Yeah, Ian told me he can’t come pick me up,” I tried to sound sad, but inside I was burning with rage.

He better broke an arm or something for ditching me!

Neilson puckers his lips, swaying back and forth, humming for some f*****g reason. His happy mood and bright sun are pissing me off. “Want me to drive you?” He asks, dangling his keys in front of my face.

I slap his hands away.

“Fine, have fun walking to school,” he said teasingly and walked towards his car.

He won’t dare leave me.

And he shut the door.

He won’t leave me.

He starts the engine.

No, he wouldn’t.

He drives away.

I hate Neilson right now.

Who am I kidding? I can never hate such a beautiful specimen.

Damn it! I’m weak again!

Pulling my backpack strap down, I walk to school but stop when I hear a car honk. Turning my head, Neilson rolls down his window, waving at me to get in, but being the brat I am, I continue walking. “Alice!”

I ignore him.

“Alice,” he said in a stricter tone.

A hand pulls me back, and Neilson tugs me towards his car. Opening the door, he tilts his head, gesturing for me to get in, but I only pout. “I was just joking, Angel,” he whispers gently, pinching my puffy cheeks. “Get in.”

Releasing a deep breath, I hop inside, seeing a smile on his lips before he closes the door and jumps in. While he drives me to school, I can hear him humming to the song, which freaks me out. “Why are you in such a good mood today?”

He shrugs, “Just have a feeling that something good will happen today.”

I nod, placing my chin on my palm, staring out the window, but realistically I was staring at Neilson. How handsome he looks today, with his nicely styled hair and cleaned suit. How great it would be if he takes it off.

Alice! Snap out of it.

We didn’t speak a single word as he drove, passing by street to street. My brows furrow when he passes my school. “Uh, my school is back there.” I pointed a thumb behind me, seeing all the students staring at Neilson’s car as we drove past them.

He nods, “I know, but I’m not going to stop driving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

He pulls the car to the side. “Alice, you barely spoke to me lately,” he strokes my cheek lightly. “So, tell me what’s wrong, Angel,” he whispers.

I shake my head, removing his hand. “Nothing is wrong,” I mumble, hearing his release a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. I couldn’t help but imagine how great it would be to run my fingers through his hair.

He ran his tongue through his cheek and nodded, taking me back to school. When we arrived, he parked. I held the handle, feeling his hand on my free one. Neilson didn’t say anything, merely tangling our fingers together. “Mi piaci molto.”

“What does that mean?”

“Have a good day at school,” he responds. I remove my hand. Hopping out of Neilson’s car, he gave me a wave goodbye. I smile at him before walking away, hearing the students whispering about me.

“Are the rumors true? I heard Alice is cheating on Ian with an older guy,” one of the girls whispered a bit too loudly.

“Look at that car! I wouldn’t blame her.”

“What a slut, probably spread her legs wide open,” another mumble.

Ignore it, ignore it.

This is how it had always been, people pretending to be my friends in front of me, but then they would talk s**t behind my back. I know rumors circulate the school about me, but no one ever dares say it in front of my face. I guess having the popular kids backing you up has its perks. Ironically, they’re not the ones spreading rumors about me. When they have something to say, they say it right in front of my face.

When I walked into the hallway, a large group blocked me. I hear a familiar voice in the center of the group. “Yeah, some guys were trying to pick a fight with me, but those fuckers didn’t know why they were messing with.”

Struggling my way to the center, I saw Ian in a cast with a black eye and a few bruises. “Ian!” I shout.

I stomp towards him. “What happened, baby?” I try to sound like an affectionate girlfriend, placing at hand on his shoulder.

"Sweetheart, I think we need to talk,” he sang slowly and excused us into an empty classroom.

“What happened, Ian?” I shout, staring at all the words signed by students on his cast.

“Your f*****g obsessive stalker, that’s what happened!”

My brows furrow together, lips thinning. “Neilson?”

He ran his fingers through his hair with his good arm. “Yes! Him! That dude is f*****g batshit crazy! I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to date you! I know girls like you are nothing but trouble.”

I cross my arms. “Neilson is not f*****g batshit crazy, and he would never do such a thing! He wouldn’t even step on a bug!”

Ian rolls his eyes. “Dude got you wrapped around his finger,” he takes a step towards me. “Look at me, Alice, my f*****g arm is broken! How? Because of Neilson, your handsome prince next-door neighbor’s big brother did it!”

Staring into Ian’s flaming eyes, I knew he wasn’t lying, but there is no way Neilson would do such a thing. He is too sweet and kind to do such a horrific thing.

“Why would he do that?” I whisper.

“For f**k sake Alice!” Ian shouted. “That d**k is crazy about you! Can’t you see it? How he glares at me with murderous intentions? How he look at you with loving psychopathic eyes? He is obsessed with you, where even a stranger can see it! Everyone can see it, except you!”

I played with my fingers. “T-That not true. He probably only did it because he cares about me as a young sister.”

Ian slaps his hand on his forehead, throwing it back. “For a smart girl, you sure are stupid. It’s like he has to put his d**k inside of you for you to understand,” he grumbles, releasing a deep breath.

He leans against the desk, “I want to break up.”

“What?”

Honestly, I felt slightly happy I don’t have to deal with a fake relationship. It’s hard work being in a relationship. I have to be with Ian and post pictures online all the time to show the world we are in love. Then, I have to tell people good stuff about Ian and why I love him without throwing up.

“Alice, I had fun being your fake boyfriend and all that. But, this.” He lifts his broken arm and groans a tad. “This is too much for me.”

I nod, and soon after, we discussed our break up. Ian wanted me to break up with him during lunch in front of everyone, including Kayla. He told me that it would give him a reason to run into Kayla’s arms.

And I thought I was the desperate one.

So, when lunchtime rolls around, we start our show.

I release a deep breath with Nina standing behind me in disapproval of basically everything. Pushing the doors open, I stomped inside towards Ian. I put on my sassy as f**k mask, crossing my arms. “Ian, we need to talk,” I said in a stern tone, causing everyone to stop eating.

Ian stands up, feigning innocence. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Look-” I pause for dramatic effect, “I had fun being with you, like a lot of fun.” I drop some hints in front of Kayla, seeing her hands tightening around her fork, notifying she was jealous. “But, I think we should break up,” I said, causing everyone to gasp. Apparently, we are known as the golden couple around the school.

“What? You want to break up?!” Ian said, unnecessarily loud, causing everyone in the cafeteria to go quiet.

I merely stand there and nod, allowing the tears to roll down, but it’s because Nina is pinching me from behind, and it hurts.

“Why?” He breathes out, attempting to look heartbroken.

“Because I’m sick and tired of you not paying attention to me, Ian! It’s always about football, academics, or your parents!” I stomp my foot, shoving my face into my hands.

“You know those things are important to me!”

Kayla stands up. “How can you do this to Ian?”

I did not expect that.

“What?” Ian and I said at the same time

“How can you break up with him because he wasn’t giving you enough attention! Those things are important to Ian, and you should respect that!” She shouts, taking everyone back a little.

“Oh right,” I mumble.

She stalks towards me, clenching her fists. “You are a little spoiled brat, Alice Lee. Everything in your life is f*****g perfect, so you aren’t grateful for anything!”

Standing there, I can feel more tears rolling down, and this time Nina wasn’t pinching me. “You think my life is perfect?”

Kayla snorts, “Everyone knows Alice has the perfect little life. You got guys chasing your left and right.”

They also call me an easy slut because I like wearing cute clothes.

“You’re so smart that Princeton is accepting you.”

Princeton hasn’t accepted me.

“You come from a f*****g perfect family.”

Mom abandoned dad and me when I was younger for another man. My dad is an alcoholic who hits me whenever he is drunk.

“Your love life is perfect.”

Ian is my fake boyfriend to distract me from the man who will never see me more than a younger sister.

“That causes you to be so f*****g ungrateful.”

I’m grateful for everything, having a roof over my head, food on the table, a bed to sleep at night.

“Girls like you don’t have a flaw in her life because you like a f*****g perfect life.”

My life is not perfect.

The cafeteria was in silence. Ian grabs Kayla’s arm. “That’s enough, Kayla,” and he glances at me, eyes silently apologizing.

Inhaling a deep breath, I gave her my usual smile. “You’re right. My life is so f*****g perfect, that’s why I need a better boyfriend.”

Water.

She splashed water on my face.

“You’re a b***h Alice Lee!” she shouts.

Carla and the other cheerleaders slam their hands on the table and stomp towards us. She covers me and crosses her arms as I stand there, while Nina pats my face dry.

“You are the b***h here

Kayla. You don’t know anything about Alice so f**k off,” Carla snaps.

Before I knew it, Carla and Kayla started bickering. Nina drags me out of the cafeteria and into the bathroom, “Are you okay?”

“Mind giving me some time alone?” I ask.

She hesitantly walks out of the restroom.

I leaned against the counter, lifting my face to meet my pathetic self. After some time, I decided I didn’t want to attend class and went home.

Reaching the quiet house, I stand there. “Welcome home, Alice,” I mumble to myself and walk upstairs. I threw my backpack into the corner of the room and changed into more comfortable clothes.

Leaning against the bed, I threw my head back, eyes staring at the ceiling. My hands reach under the bed to pull out a box, placing it on my lap. Slowly, lift the lid to see the white pills. There was an old note inside, and I grabbed it reading the content.

Dear whoever found this note,

First, I apologize for being weak, for being pathetic. I can’t stand to live any longer. Everyone always thinks I’m happy, living the perfect life. I’m sick of being called a slut or w***e at school. I’m sick of watching the love of my life holding another woman, knowing he will never love me. I’m sick of dad blaming me for everything. I’m just sick of everything. So, I decided on my 16th birthday. I’m going to-

That’s it.

That was where the note ended because I was too afraid to write any further. I slip the note back inside the box, wrapping my arms around my legs, knowing no one would miss me if I disappear. Nina would be sad, but knowing her, eventually, she will move on. Neilson wouldn’t even remember me ten years from now when he is happily married to this random hot woman. My dad wouldn’t care. He’s probably happy his useless daughter is gone.

The whole day, I merely sat there, staring at the ceiling, ears listening to the wind blow swiftly. I was on the brink of something I couldn’t describe, weight heavily pressed down on my shoulder. These past few years, I tried to step forward, but now it feels all too much. The darkness grew darker; the pain became sharper, but I never said a word.

Sometimes I wonder if my smile- the horribly fake smile - is ever seen through.

If someone ever notices that sad, broken look in my eyes that I see in the mirror.

If they see beauty where I see ugliness.

And then I laugh, a bitter, sarcastic laugh, at myself.

Nobody cares.

No one notices.

They never seem to, do they?

Around a random time, I decided to go for a walk in the park. Hands in pockets, hood covering my face, I kick the small pebbles I saw on the ground. When I heard a laugh, I glanced up to see this little girl being spun around by her dad, mom taking pictures in the background.

I remember when my family was like that, a long time ago.

I pull my hoodie, feeling the tears dripping down.

“Alice?”

Cautiously, he walked towards me and wiped my tears. “Angel, what w-” before he can finish, I wrap my arms around his waist and let out a terrible cry. ”Awww Angel, don’t cry,” he whispers gently, patting my back, but I didn’t stop.

I can feel myself in Neilson’s arms. He opens the door, and I knew it was his house even when my face was shoved into his chest as it had this unique smell. He sat down on the couch, arms wrapped firmly around me. “What happened?”

I should tell Neilson the truth, how unhappy I am with everything, but instead, I lied, like always. “Ian and I broke up,” I cried.

“That f*****g bastard doesn’t deserve you,” he whispers, laying a sweet kiss on my forehead. I glance up at him, seeing his features clearing up. “You deserve someone who will love you,” he said, causing my body to tremble as he laid another kiss on my nose then my cheek.

Neilson brushes his thumb against my lips. “That kid really doesn’t deserve you, Alice.” I can feel him making small circles around my hip while I laid my head on his beating heart.

He plants his forehead against mine. “Want to do something special for your birthday?”

“What?” I question while he hands me a tissue to blow my stuffy nose. I blew my nose, very loudly, and unladylike, then threw the dirty tissue on the table.

Perhaps this is why Neilson doesn’t see me more than a little sister. I’m sitting on his lap, like a child, dangling my feet while he comforts me over my breakup. Not to mention, I burped and farted in front of him. Reflecting, I probably should’ve behaved more like a lady, more girlfriend material.

He wraps both arms around me. “I think I got something in mind.”

I want to ask Neilson if he did beat up Ian, but something tells me I shouldn’t. Maybe, I’ll ask him later why he did that. From my viewpoint, even if Neilson was trying to be a big brother, Ian should be okay. He is the perfect boyfriend, with good grades, manners, and captain of the football team. If my parents cared, they would have approved of him.

Later, Neilson attempted to cheer me up by cooking me dinner. I sat on the counter watching him, throwing in all the different seasoning.

Neilson would make a good husband.

He places a plate of yummy spicy curry in front of me. Grabbing a spoonful, he blew it and fed it to me. I open my mouth, letting out a low moan of satisfaction. Food is life.

“How is it?”

“It’s okay,” I reply casually, attempting not to squeal or fall on the floor and roll around the carpet yelling: Neilson fed me! He fed me!

After we finished dinner, I grabbed my backpack, getting ready to go home. He stands there, awkwardly swaying back and forth, puffing his cheeks. “I was wondering if you want to sleep over tonight?”

Yes! Yes! Yes! A trillion times, yes!

“No, I think it’s better if I head home. Thanks for everything,” I mumble.

When we got to the front door, there was an uncomfortable silence.

“So-” I release a cough. “I should get going,” I point at the front door.

He nods, “Right, you should.”

I should get going. Yeah. Leave.

He takes a step aside. “It’s getting late. I should walk you to your house.”

I scratch my head. “No, it’s fine, it’s right there.” I point next door.

“R-Right,” he pauses, staring at me. “Bye.”

My fingers start twirling around the strap of my backpack. “Bye,” I walked back home, and when I turned around, Neilson was standing on his front porch, staring at me.

I give him a slight wave, and he smiles at me, waving back. Turning back, the smile on my face refused to leave as I walked into the house. I threw my backpack down inside my room, opening the window to see Neilson grinning.

“Hi, neighbor,” he said.

I lean against the frame. “How can I help you neighbor?”

He taps two fingers together. “I was wondering if I can borrow a cup of sugar?”

I couldn’t help but burst into an unfit laugh, but play along with him. “For what?”

“To bake some muffins for this girl I like.”

My face grimaces, head shaking. “If you really like the girl, don’t bake her muffin. I saw how you baked before.”

He tucks his lips over his teeth. “Then, can you come over and teach me how to bake?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll drive you to school every day for the rest of the year?”

I let out a low, humming sound. “Sounds tempting, but what about work?”

“f**k work,” he grins mischievously.

“Wow, you sound like a responsible adult.”

Neilson let out a shoulder shrug. “Sometimes, I don’t feel like being an adult,” he grumbles. “I want to be a kid and just f**k around,” he lifts a brow. “So, want to come over and f**k around with me?”

I roll my eyes. “Fine.”

I closed the curtains.

With my hands on my jacket and I prepared to go back to Neilson’s house.

Shattered glass.

My bedroom door creaks open.

The blood drips down his fingertips.

I stumbled backward, only to be forced forward by a handful of hair.

Laying in bed, I can hear the phone ringing on the nightstand.

When it stops ringing, I grab it, seeing a voicemail.

“Hey Angel, where are you? I have all the ingredients ready, and I’m here waiting. Call me back when you have the chance.”

I didn’t meet Neilson that night.

I couldn’t.