The HeartStone Path

The HeartStone Path cont.

CHAPTER 10

Princess Vendora led us out for a walk in the gardens after the evening meal again.  King Einal had arrived earlier, along with several other leaders.  The meal had been tense, at best, but he didn’t broach the topic of marriage with Boudicca.  At least not publicly.

The Princess walked with her arm looped through Astrid’s, Novadyn and Aine walked behind them, and the rest of us followed.  We walked in silence until we were far enough from the castle that no one would hear anything we said.

“How is Boudicca going to explain us just leaving with Princess Arianna?” Rhiannon asked me.

“Oh, that’s easy enough,” the Princess answered.  “It’s an unwritten rule among the kingdoms.  Most of them anyway.  Young nobles travel back and forth between the kingdoms and are always welcomed by the royal and noble families.  It keeps communication open and unofficially keeps the peace in our Realm.  I envy those who get to travel like that.”

“You said ‘most’”, Rhiannon pointed out.  “Who doesn’t participate?”

“Who do you think?” the Princess asked.  She pulled Astrid to a stop and turned to look at the rest of us.  “We all know that the Forest Fae borders are closed.  No one has tried to visit them for centuries.”

“Doesn’t that hamper the peace?  How can you not be suspicious of that?” Aine asked.

The Princess shrugged.  “Father says that King Einal would in no way ever jeopardize his seat on the Council of Races.  Not with all of the power and prestige it affords him.”

“That makes sense,” Rhiannon conceded. 

I frowned but didn’t make a comment.  I had felt absurd, parading around in dresses, never actually getting anything done.  And going south to Oryn’lea wasn’t going to be any better.  I would have to sit around like a pretty decoration while our Tuillaryns worked in secret.

“I know you pity us,” the Princess said to me.

 I looked up at her, startled.  “I …beg your pardon, my lady?” I hesitated too long before answering.

“I know how you see us.  We don’t seem to do much of consequence every day besides dressing up and gossiping with the members of the court.  We plan dinners and balls and defer to our men.  What you don’t see is that these dresses,” she indicated her own beautifully designed dress, “are our armor.  By planning all of those events, we know all of the people worth knowing in every kingdom.  By listening to the gossip, we know who is trustworthy and who is not.  Women may seem to be largely invisible in this Realm and others, but we use that to our advantage.  And you aren’t the only ones who are always armed.”

I looked at her in shock.  I had never considered any of that.  Bridgette had never brought it up in our lessons.  I guess she just assumed we had figured it out for ourselves.  “Who says I am armed?” I asked her.

She glanced down to my right thigh.  “You always brush your right hand against your skirts when you are angry or nervous.  Which is quite frequently, I might add.”

I clenched my jaw tightly, angry that I had been so transparent.

“Not many would have noticed, but my ladies and I did.  Being a woman is a completely different type of battle.  Giving away your true feelings in any court situation can cost you more than you want to give,” Princess Vendora told me.  “Be careful in Oryn’lea.  My father calls that court a pit of vipers for a reason.  He loved the King and Queen of Oryn’lea, but he never trusted their court.  You can’t let your guard down once while you are there.  Especially since Arianna will be the Queen soon, if the rumors of her father’s Wasting are true.”

“But what of your brother and Vahl’strael’s support?” Rhiannon argued.  “Surely your father wouldn’t allow anything to happen to her.”

The Princess shook her head.  “She can’t depend on her husband’s kingdom to defend her or to keep her crown.  It would be a sign of weakness.  Would you support a ruler who depended on another country to support their claim to the throne?”

Rhiannon mulled that around in her head for a moment.  “No, my lady, I wouldn’t.”

“And that is why she is going to need as much support as she can get,” Princess Vendora said.  “My brother will support her as her husband, but he cannot offer the support of Vahl’strael.  She is going to have to bring those vipers to heal on her own.”

“I’m sure we can help with that,” Aine said.  “Discreetly, of course.”

The Princess nodded.  “We royal ladies are not without our own resources.  Astrid is the sister of Lorcan, the captain of our guards, and daughter of the generals of our armies.  She is trained as all Yova are and has been with me since we were children.”

I looked at Astrid again, searching for the tattoos.  “You won’t see them,” she told me.  “They are there, but hidden from casual view.  Just as I am hidden outside of this kingdom.  No one outside of Vahl’strael knows who my family is.”

The Princess continued, “Novadyn is wolf kindred and Cortissa is Khaskarii.  Arianna’s ladies are similarly trained.  And they will know everything about that court.”

“As they should,” Novadyn said.

The Princess nodded, then turned to continue our walk.  I was lost in my own thoughts, turning over what she had said in my head.  I had been wallowing in self pity because I wasn’t on the mission I thought I should have been put on.  Rhiannon looked as if she was thinking the same thing as she walked next to me.

“Were there any nobles in the southern kingdom when it was cut off?” Aine asked suddenly.

Princess Vendora stopped walking and glanced around us to make sure no one was around.  “Several from many kingdoms disappeared when darkness swallowed that kingdom.  Many have given them up for dead,” she whispered.

“But not all?” Aine asked.

Princess Vendora shook her head.  “Boudicca’s father and their kingdom still hold out hope that they will be found alive.  Everyone else, well, they all seem to agree that if the young nobles are still there, they aren’t who they used to be.”

“How do you know the kingdom is covered in darkness?” Rhiannon whispered.

“Lorcan,” Astrid answered.  “He and other captains have flown over the kingdom.  They had to stay high in the air above it, or it tried to pull their gryphons down.”

I exchanged looks with Rhiannon.  Three Pairs had been heading for that darkness when we had left for Vahl’strael.  I wondered if Corbyn had heard anything from them.

No one spoke for the rest of the walk through the gardens and back into the castle.  I silently vowed to take this all more seriously.  I had missed so many opportunities to be learning about the people around me simply because I was pouting, because I thought my talents were being wasted.  Not even my sisters said good night when we reached our hallway.  We all walked to our rooms in silence.

Inside my rooms, Tristan was stretched out on the couch again, reading one of the books the Master had given me.  “Interesting walk?” he asked me.

“You were listening,” I sighed.

He nodded.  “It’s like a wall, Mor.  Or like closing a door.  If you don’t want anyone to hear you, close the door.”

I tucked that little bit of information away and nodded towards the table.  There was a package sitting in the middle of it, wrapped in black paper with a black satin ribbon.  “Where did that come from?”

“Who do you think?” he said sarcastically, his light mood suddenly gone.

“You didn’t…”

He gave me a wicked grin.  “No, Varina was here to accept the package.  She left when I got here.  But wouldn’t that have been a sight?  Me answering your door when he dropped of a gift for his beloved.”

“That’s not funny,” I said, glaring at him.  “You would have gotten both of us in a lot of trouble.”

“No, I wouldn’t.  Do you really think he’s going to do anything to ruin your delicate reputation?”

He had a point, but I chose to ignore it.  Instead, I stalked towards my room so I could change out of the dress I was wearing.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” he asked, just before I shut the door to the bedroom.

“No,” I said shortly, and slammed the door.

I was careful when I removed the dress and pins, seeing my dress in a new light.  Perhaps I should take shopping and Varina’s advice on my clothing more seriously.  A few changes to current designs and I could better hide weapons.

I gently laid the dress across my trunks and changed into a soft cotton shirt and worn pants.  Then, I removed the small army of hair pins from my hair and left it down.  It had been pulling mercilessly on my scalp almost all day.  I needed a break.

When I was changed, I slipped back out to the front room and settled on to the couch with Tristan.  He set down the book and pulled my feet in to his lap, gently massaging the parts of my feet where the ridiculous shoes had been biting in.

“What do you think about what the Princess said?” I asked finally.

He shrugged.  “She has a point.  Men in most Realms generally don’t pay attention to their women.  Outside of the Yova, of course.”

“Did you know who Astrid was?”

He nodded again.  “It’s difficult to miss the family resemblance.  And she carries herself like an Alpha’s daughter.”

“I can’t believe I missed that,” I mumbled.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Mor,” he said.  “Unless you are Yova or around them for a long time, you aren’t going to pick up on those things.”

“But you do?” I asked.  I wanted him to answer me.  To tell me that of course he knew because he was Yova himself.  But the only answer I got was a shrug, a careful non-answer.  “How do you know,” I pushed again.

He lifted his silver blue eyes to my face and didn’t say anything for a long moment.  “I just know, Mor.  Leave it.”

“Fine,” I grumbled and crossed my arms over my chest.  Maybe Phaedra would know.

“She won’t tell you.  No matter how much you want her to.  It’s not her business.  It’s mine,” he chided me.

“Will you ever tell me?”

Another shrug.  “Someday.”

After a few hours of reading, I was beyond tired and could barely keep my eyes open.  I closed the book I was reading and reached for the one Tristan was holding.  He gave it to me and stood and stretched.  I took the books and sealed them back inside of my trunk.  Then I grabbed a pillow and blanket and walked back out towards the front room.  I almost ran in to Tristan in the doorway.

“What do you think you are doing?” I asked him.

“Going to bed,” he answered.

“In your room?”

He nodded towards my bed.

“Oh, no you are not.  Couch or nothing,” I argued, shoving the pillow and blanket against his chest.

His answer was to toss me over his shoulder and carry me to my side of the bed.  “You aren’t going to win this argument, Mor.  Might as well accept it.”

I mumbled something that would have made Aine blush and leaned back against my pillows.  “What’s in that package?” I asked him as he settled in on the other side of the bed.

“I didn’t open it,” he said tiredly.  “You open it, if you are so curious.”

“I’m not,” I said defensively.

“Sure, you aren’t,” he sighed and leaned over to kiss the top of my head.

I rolled on to my side and stared at the wall.  His breathing evened out and he became dead weight on the mattress.  I slid out from under the blankets and snuck into the front room.  I meant to find the gift and tuck it away.  Instead, I found a note that had been slid under my door.

The moment I read the note, I tossed it into the fire and made sure Tristan was still sleeping.  Then I dressed warmly and slipped out on to my balcony.  I settled a protective ward around my rooms so I would know if anyone moved around them, inside or out.

A moment later, I was up on the tower closest to my rooms and I was staring at Boudicca, the blacksmith’s wife that Princess Vendora had spoken to, and a Yova guard that had to be Lorcan.

“Mor, this is Val,” Boudicca said quietly.  “She was a Ranger.”

“Was,” I repeated.  “Why is she here?”

“There were three Pairs that were sent out to find you,” Boudicca started.  “Corbyn and I found you, Val and Malcom found Rhiannon, and Celena and Xander found Aine.  The Master sent us out to find you without anyone knowing.  Not even the High Seat.  He had somehow found out that a group of demons had found the first heartstone.  We are all out on missions, so it wasn’t all that odd when we returned with babes to be dedicated to the Order.  It was a long shot.  There was no way to know if any of us would actually find you.

“The High Seat took you three in and tested you.  We weren’t sure how, but he didn’t seem to put your arrival at the High Keep together with the rumors about the first heartstone.  We took turns staying away from the Keep and laying false trails.  Celena and Xander died in the Third Realm.  Val lost Malcom here while they were laying false trails.  The blacksmith found her near death.  We thought it was best that the Order, and the High Seat, thought that she had died here.  He was asking too many questions.  Corbyn and I had to stay away from the High Keep as much as possible until it was time to train you.”

I stared at her.  “I don’t understand.”

Boudicca smiled sadly.  “The Master only told use about some vague prophecy that had been written down millennia ago by several different seers in many different realms.  All he would say was ‘she will return when the first stone is taken’.  You were the only orphan we found.  Rhiannon and Aine were born at the same time, but to noble women in my kingdom.”

“Who is this ‘she’ supposed to be?” I asked them.

“We don’t know exactly,” Val sighed.  “Only that if we didn’t find her, she would be found by others and killed.”

“Does anyone else know about this?” I sank down to sit on the edge of the tower, my lower legs hanging off of the side.

“Bridgette, Roslyn and Sabeyne know.  And their Tuillaryns.  They had to know so they could protect you,” Val said sadly.  “But Rhiannon and Aine…”

“Rhiannon believes in everything the Order of Ebon Lys is,” I finished for her.  “So does Aine.”

“I’m sorry, Mor,” Boudicca said sadly.

I tried to smile at her.  “It’s not your fault.  They have always been that way.  They need to believe in something bigger than themselves.  They need a purpose.  Isn’t that what we are all trained to believe in?  The purpose of the Order?”

Boudicca shrugged.  “There is still something I can’t put my finger on with Rhiannon.”

“I figured there was,” I sighed.  “Why do you think I am the girl from that prophecy?”

“The prophecy was supposed to have been lost.  Yet, the Master knew of it and knew to send us.  And we found you,” Val said.

“So?” I countered.  “It’s just a coincidence that you found me.  How many other babies do you think were born at the same time?  You just happened to come across me.”

“There is no such thing as coincidence,” Boudicca said quietly.

The Master was always telling me that.  So was the Witch.  I had argued with them for years about it, scoffed in their faces during the lessons when they said that and fought bitterly to refute the logic.

“Besides keeping Val’s identity hidden, you should be careful who you talk to,” Boudicca was saying.  “If you need me, write in this,” she said, handing me a book.  “The moment you write in it, the ink disappears on your pages and appears on mine as long as you sign it like this.”  She wrote a message in the book and signed it with the symbol, then pulled a book from her pocket and showed me where the message appeared.

I tucked the book in to my jacket pocket carefully, dedicating the symbol to memory.  “Has King Einal approached you yet,” I asked her.

Boudicca shook her head.  “Not yet.  I expect it, though.”

“What is she talking about,” Val asked.

Boudicca tensed, then turned to her friend.  “Prince Aerron warned us that King Einal would be trying to force a marriage between Morrigan and the Prince.”

“But…that doesn’t make any sense,” Val argued.  “The king knows the rules.”

“Perhaps the king knows something we don’t,” Lorcan reasoned.

“Welcome to the Fourth Realm, Morrigan.  It has been far too long since I have felt a soul such as yours,” a deep voice rumbled across my mind.

“Who…” I hesitated.

“Forgive me,” the voice rumbled.  “I am Raghnall.  Lorcan’s companion.”

Gods above.  The gryphon on the tower with us was talking to me.  I turned to look at him.  The mountain gryphon’s feathers were snow white with little flecks of grey scattered throughout that could only be seen if you were up close to him.  Sharp silver eyes missed nothing that moved around the tower platform.  His front legs, ending in talons that could eviscerate any prey, were crossed in front of him comfortably.  The rest of his body, the ice wolf part, was as white as the feathers with only slightly more grey on the tips of the double coat of fur.  A tail that was comically fluffy, given the magnificent animal it was attached to, was curled around his back feet.

“I had hoped you could hear me,” he said, his voice reverberating in my mind.  “My people are ancient and remember the Wars.  It must be true that you do not.  You may not remember us, but we remember you.  And we remember the prophecies.”

Why would I remember the Wars?  Why would I remember anything about Ancients or Guardians?  You would think that I would certainly remember being able to speak with gryphons.

“I think you have the wrong person,” I said back across the bond he had created.  “And I don’t know about any prophecies.”

“There is no mistaking the soul, my lady.  In time, you will know.  And we will be ready.  You have my word.”

“You speak for everyone?”

“I speak for a great many of them.  They know you have come.  We have been waiting.  Listen to the Master.  He will guide you.  And when you need us…”

“IF I need you.  I have no idea if I ever will.  I don’t know what is going on.  I’m just here to help Boudicca.”

“Do you really believe that, my lady?”

I shook my head slightly.  This didn’t make any sense.  “But I can’t understand anything else.  Especially a mountain gryphon who is an Ancient and swearing fealty to a nobody like me.”

“You are drawn to Ancients and Guardians.  You walk with one every day.  Kai, I believe you have named her.  She is a Guardian.  Open your eyes to the world around you, child.”

I looked around the tower.  Boudicca and Val were arguing with Lorcan about King Einal.  Down in the castle, Rhiannon and Aine were asleep in their rooms, oblivious to what was happening above them.

“Careful, child.  Your sister does not share your curious mind.  Her indoctrination is more complete than yours.”

“Who?  Rhiannon?  But she is my sister.  We have grown up together.”

“No.  She is a Ranger who serves the Order of Ebon Lys and she believes the High Seat’s laws and reasoning are absolute.”

“But that is absurd.  Everyone is flawed.  The world is not black and white like that.”

“And yet, she sees the world like that.  Like they have taught her to see it.”

“But I don’t see it that way.  It is obviously not black and white.  There are too many blatant examples of how that logic is flawed.”

“And now you see why I tell you to be careful.  She loves you.  So do the others.  But they serve the Order.”

“Val hates the Order.  I believe that Boudicca does, too.”

“Ah, Val.  Do you not think she has her reasons?”

I frowned.  “And Boudicca does not question her.  Boudicca follows her own guidance.  As does King Torrynd.”

I turned back to Boudicca and Val.

“The Fae king is up to something,” Val said, pacing the platform.  “Something beyond trying to force a marriage and write treaties in his favor.”

“This can’t be allowed to happen, Boudicca,” Lorcan said angrily.  “The Tribes suffer King Einal’s arrogance because he has kept to his borders since he was awarded his seat on the Council.  This is another play for power.”

“I’m not arguing with you about that,” Boudicca said.  “My argument is about the darkness over the southern kingdom.  What if it isn’t empty?  What if it spreads?  We will need his armies.”

Lorcan frowned at her.  “We will call Tribes from other Realms,” he growled.

“And if they are fighting their own battles?” Val countered.

Lorcan growled and turned away from them.

Val turned to Boudicca.  “The city is full of Fae.  It’s like they are looking for something.  The King even travelled here with an army.  It’s camped out in the forest.”

“Given the recent attack he witnessed at the High Keep, it’s not all that shocking,” Boudicca sighed.  “But not camping the army close to the castle where all can see it, is a problem.”

Another gryphon and rider landed on the platform.  Lorcan greeted the rider by pressing his forehead to hers.  “My mate, Kaerrigan,” he said to me. Then he turned back to her and spoke in quiet, hurried tones.  “Get to the aeries.  Alert them, alert the Tribes.  Lord Raghnall, the Ancients must know.”

An uneasy feeling rolled across my skin and down my spine.

“He understands what will happen if you marry the Fae Prince,” Raghnall’s voice filled my mind again.  “And why the Ancients cannot allow it.  Of course, we cannot control your heart.  What the king has done to that kingdom is an abomination.  If the Prince is not like his father, we will not stop you.  But, if he is…we will do what we must.”

“How will you know?  How will you know if he is like his father?”

“We don’t even understand what has happened to his father, child.  We only know that something has been corrupted.   We can feel it around him.  Some people are not who they once were.”

“What does it feel like, this corruption?”

“Like something not of this world.  It feels like a darkness that was never meant to be here among these Realms.  We cannot find it’s cause or predict where it will show up.  Just be careful, child.”

“I will try, my lord.”

“Lorcan and his guard will keep an eye on the Fae in the city,” Boudicca was saying to me.  “I need you to watch the Fae in the castle during the Conclave.  They know about the two that snuck in to your rooms.”

And what did they expect me to do about it?  “What am I supposed to do?  Spy?”

“That is exactly what you are,” Val said.  “You are a young, arrogant noble.  No one will pay attention to you or your sisters.  It must be the same in Oryn’lea.  Boudicca says you will be leaving with the Princess when she departs with her new husband.”

“Do I spy on my sisters, too?” I asked angrily.

“I would never ask that of you,” Boudicca said softly.  “You know the plan.  If King Einal pushes the marriage, I will demand a long courtship.  We can’t predict the future.  We are going to have to adjust as we go.  The Tribe in Oryn’lea knows you are coming.  They will watch over you.”

“We are leaving soon, then,” I suddenly understood the urgency of this meeting.

Boudicca and Val nodded.  “The Conclave will only last a few days.  Everyone is anxious to return to their lands.  Before they all leave, Arianna will be married to Curren.  You will leave the next morning.  She must return to her father as quickly as possible.”

“Well, planning a royal wedding quickly should keep everyone not in the Conclave busy,” I mumbled.

“Exactly.  Get Aine and Rhiannon involved.  I’ll see to it that Arianna speaks to Vendora,” Boudicca said.

“And when you get to Oryn’lea…” Val was saying.

I stopped listening.  I turned to look out over the city.  Lights were going out in homes all over the city and some were being turned on.  I could see the shadows of guards walking through the streets.  I thought about what Raghnall had said and what Boudicca had confessed about finding me.  I wasn’t the person they thought I was.

“Morrigan, are you listening to us?” Boudicca asked.

I shook my head.  “I’m not this person you think I am.  I’ll do what you say about the gossip and the wedding, but because you gave me an order.  Whoever you think I am, whatever prophecy you think I am part of, it’s not me.  I’m just an orphan Ranger.  Please, stop,” I said, holding my hand up to stop Val from speaking again.  “I’ll keep your secret, too.  All of them.  I really need to get back to my room before someone notices that I’m gone.”

Boudicca stopped Val when she stepped forward.  She shook her head at her old friend and turned towards me.  “I understand, Mor.  Get some rest.  It’s going to be a busy few days.”

I nodded and wove back to my own balcony.  I could still make out Boudicca and Val up on the platform.  From their posture, they were arguing about something fiercely.  I turned away and slipped back into my rooms.

CHAPTER 11

I was woken up a little after dawn by a frantic knock on my door.  I rolled over to tell Tristan to go, but he was already gone.  I felt a pang of regret that I hadn’t woken him up when I returned from talking to Boudicca and told him everything.

The knock sounded again, louder this time.  I flicked my hand at the door, sliding the lock open.  That woke me up.  My magic had never obeyed with something that simple.

By the time I sat up in bed, my rooms were flooded with my sisters, the Princesses and their ladies.  I absently reached over to the side of the bed where Tristan had been sleeping.  The sheets still held the tiniest bit of his warmth and scent.  I breathed in the calming smell and faced the women.

“Morrigan!  Get up!” Aine nearly shrieked.  She was bouncing on the balls of her feet, barely containing her excitement.  “Tell her!”

Princess Arianna gave me a smile.  I could see the sadness behind it.  “Since I have to be in the Conclave meetings for the next few days, I have asked Vendora, her ladies and you to help plan my wedding to Curren.  Nothing outrageous.  I don’t want all of the frills of a royal wedding.  The old ways.  If any of you know them.”

“I’m sure we can handle that,” I told her.  “Someone is bound to know what to do if we aren’t sure about something.”

“Thank you,” Princess Arianna said.  “I have to get to the meeting.  I will see you all at dinner this evening.”  She left my room with her ladies, leaving me with the rest of the women.

“I know exactly what to do,” Princess Vendora said excitedly.

***

I barely had time to get dressed before Rhiannon returned to my room to retrieve me for the day.  Princess Vendora dragged us all over the castle.  First to the library, then the kitchens, to the room where the ladies of the court were sewing, back out to the blacksmith, and the stables.  After the castle, we followed her manic pace to several stores in the city.  By the time we returned just before the evening meal, the young woman had acquired an army of people to help her.

When I returned to my room to dress for the evening meal, Varina was waiting for me.  Another gift box was sitting on the center of my small table.  I groaned inwardly and chose to ignore it.

“I take it you won’t be opening that one, either,” Varina said from my closet.

“No, no I will not,” I sighed. 

“It could be construed as an insult,” she warned me.

“So could forcing someone in to a marriage,” I growled back.

“Indeed.  How was your day with the Princess?  Did you accomplish everything you needed?” she asked, changing the subject.

“And then some,” I said tiredly.  “Who knew a simple ceremony could be so complicated.”

“Nothing is ever simple with royals,” Varina sighed. 

I was definitely beginning to understand that.  It didn’t mean I had to like it, though.  “Did Boudicca say anything about this evening?  Is it a small dinner with the royal family?  Or does it include the entire Conclave?”

“The Conclave, my lady,” Varina said.  She was still in my closet trying to decide on a dress.

“What do you know about prophecies?” I blurted out.

Inside the closet, Varina dropped the dress she had been holding then quickly picked it back up.  “I don’t know about random prophecies, my lady.  I’ve never put much stock in any of that nonsense, anyway.”

She was lying to me, but I let it go.  It had bothered her that I had asked.  I decided to take a different approach.  “How do you know Boudicca?”

“I am from her kingdom, my lady,” Varina answered quietly.  I could see the muscle in her jaw ticking away, though.

“A simple maid wouldn’t have hands like yours,” I pointed out.

She glared at me this time.  “I don’t know what you are talking about, my lady,” she whispered angrily.

I wasn’t going to give up on this.  There was more that Boudicca wasn’t telling me.  I had known that Varina wasn’t a mere maid the moment I met her.  So, I crossed my arms and waited, returning Varina’s hot glare.

Finally, she sighed and motioned for me to sit down at the vanity.  She laid the dress she had chosen across the foot of the bed, then moved around the room picking out accessories to match.  “I will tell you when Boudicca decides I should.  And don’t give me that look.  I owe her more than just my loyalty, child.”

That wasn’t the answer I had been expecting.  I sat in silence while Varina dressed my hair and fixed the powders on my face.  She was just finishing up tightening the laces on the dress when Aine and Rhiannon walked through the front door.

“The whole Conclave is down there,” Aine shuddered.

I offered her the bravest smile I could muster and looped my arm through hers.  “If any more of those show up,” I said over my shoulder to Varina, indicating the package on the table, “just put them in the closet with the others.”

I didn’t wait to hear her answer.  I let my sisters pull me out into the hallway and towards the stairs.

We arrived in the dining hall just moments after the Princess and her ladies.  Footmen showed us to our seats that were spread out around the main table.  I had never seen a dining hall this full before.

I was sat between Boudicca and Prince Aerron.  Tristan was across from me between the Princes.  I looked to the older woman for some kind of explanation, but she just shook her head.

“Good evening, my lady,” Prince Aerron whispered to me on my left.

I nodded politely, not trusting my voice.  I could feel the tension in the dining hall.  Either the Conclave was not going well, or something else had happened.

On my right, Boudicca leaned a little towards me to speak so only I could hear.  “Don’t go for a walk in the gardens with the Princess after the meal.  I need to speak with all of you.”  She lifted her eyes to Corbyn who was sitting a little further down the table.  He nodded to her ever so slightly.

I looked down the table to where King Einal was sitting near King Torrynd.  He looked rather satisfied with himself despite the demeanor of the other rulers around the tables.  That couldn’t be anything good.

The entire meal was a tense, almost silent affair.  There were murmured conversations around the tables but nothing like the other meals I had had thus far in the castle.  By the end, a lot of the rulers looked downright tired and ready to flee the dining hall.

I wasn’t surprised when the Princess simply bowed to everyone and retired to her rooms.  I didn’t have to turn down a walk in the gardens.  Whatever it was, I was guessing that her father had already told her.

When we reached the top of the stairs and the entrance to our hallway, I saw Val waiting outside of my door for us.  Corbyn set a ward over the entrance to the hallway and motioned for us to follow Boudicca to my rooms.

Varina was waiting for us.  She had set out coffee, wine and tea.  Once we were all inside and settled, she set a heavier ward around my rooms.  Simple maid, indeed.

Boudicca took a seat at the table and poured a glass of wine for herself.  Corbyn took up the spot behind her, his hand resting on her shoulder.

“King Einal wasn’t to be denied,” she started.  “During the Conclave today, when we were discussing armies and what might be needed, he made the marriage between Morrigan and his son, Prince Aerron, the condition upon which he would send his armies for aide.  Under the pressure from the other kingdoms, I had no choice but to agree.” She held up her hand to stop the protests that were rising around the room.  “No one knows who any of you really are and who you serve.  They know my place in the Inner Council of the Order and King Einal’s place on the Council of Races.  To them, I was being ridiculous for refusing an advantageous marriage for one of the noble women of my court.”

Corbyn let the shouts of outrage continue for a few moments before he silenced them.  “Enough!  She said she would avoid it if at all possible.  He didn’t give her a chance.  He proposed the arrangement publicly, knowing that the other kingdoms would pressure her into the agreement.  There was no way she could refuse it and save face with the other kingdoms.  What he did was dirty and underhanded.”

“I was able to negotiate the courtship, like I said I would,” Boudicca said tiredly.  “All you have to do is pretend to court the Prince.  It can be drug out for years by my father.”

“But what do we do when even that isn’t enough?” Cam snapped.

“We have to hope it will be,” Corbyn answered.  “We have to hope that King Einal’s sense of self preservation in a battle is more important than this.”

Don’t count on it, I thought to myself.

Tristan had stayed quiet throughout all of it.  His silent rage was worse than the others railing at Boudicca for not being able to stop the Fae king’s schemes.  I watched him out of the corner of my eye while Boudicca and Corbyn explained what had happened and what was going to be happening over the next few days.  Tristan’s eyes did not leave the floor once, but the color in his cheeks got darker and the muscles of his jaw pulsed with his anger.  I would have rather heard him yell or argue.

I still didn’t say anything when Corbyn led the men from the room or when my sisters left.  I sank in to one of the chairs, wondering how my life could have been so monumentally messed up in the matter of a few days.

“Morrigan,” Boudicca was saying, trying to get my attention.  I turned towards her, completely done with that day already.  “Change and meet us up at the tower.  Lorcan and the others must be made aware.”

I nodded numbly and got up from the chair.  Varina stayed long enough to help me out of the dress, then left my room in silence.

A little later, I was standing on the platform with Boudicca, Val, Lorcan and his mate.  I leaned against Raghnall while they argued with each other about what had happened in the Conclave.  Val raged against the High Seat and the Order, saying they should have intervened.  Lorcan was convinced that he could find a way so King Einal’s armies wouldn’t be needed.  Boudicca weathered it all with enviable patience.

“Where was Corbyn during all of this?” Lorcan demanded.

“That is what I have been trying to tell you,” Boudicca sighed.  “Just before we walked into the Conclave this morning, we received a message from the High Keep.  The second heartstone site has been attacked.  Corbyn was dealing with that.”

Val gasped.  “You know what that means…”

Lorcan shook his head, refusing to believe it.  His mate mounted her gryphon and took off into the night towards the aeries.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

Boudicca turned to me, holding up a hand to stop Val.  “According to the legends of the prophecy, it means that the legions will be released.”

“Legions?  What legions?” I asked.  No one was making any sense.

“Hel’s legions,” Val answered.

“What?” I yelled.  “She’s a myth!  A legend the mistresses told us about to keep us from sneaking out of our rooms at night!”

“Keep your voice down, Mor,” Boudicca hissed at me.  “She is not just a myth.  She was a major player in the Wars.”

“But…but that was millennia ago,” I tried to argue.

“It doesn’t matter how long ago it was,” Lorcan finally said.  “It just means that she has had that long in a prison to plan her revenge.”

“That’s only if she gets the third stone,” Val countered.

“She shouldn’t have been able to get her hands on the first two!” Lorcan yelled.

“Look,” Boudicca said, trying to calm her friends down, “this changes nothing right now.  We have to deal with the rest of the Conclave, the ceremony at the end and then the wedding between Prince Curren and Princess Arianna.  Not to mention sending Morrigan, Aine and Rhiannon south with them and out of King Einal’s reach.”

“What do you need us to do?” Lorcan asked.

“Contact the other Tribes,” Boudicca told him.  “Find out what you can about the second site and if they have seen any sign of her legions.  Val and I will handle the rest here with the Conclave.”

“And me?” I asked.

Boudicca smiled at me sadly.  “One step at a time, Mor.  Get through the ceremony and the wedding.  Make it to Oryn’lea safely.”

Lorcan climbed on to Raghnall’s back and took off into the night.  I took the older women’s hands and wove us back down to my balcony.

Boudicca stopped at the door to my rooms.  “Don’t worry.  I won’t tell anyone that I can do that, either,” I sighed.  “The Master was very serious about it.  I think the Prince knows, though.  I used it to beat him in sparring once.  I was young and angry and sick of losing.”

“I don’t think he will tell anyone.  Especially his father.  I do honestly believe that he loves you.  And that makes him want to protect you.  Even from his father,” Boudicca said.

“We can use that for now,” Val agreed.

The two women slipped from my room and I sealed my doors again.  The blood runes had to be renewed every night.  After I finished, I rested my forehead against the door.  I hated all of it.  I wanted to be normal.  Or at least a semblance of normal.

“He loves you, does he,” Tristan said dryly from behind me.

I bounced my head off of my door.  I had forgotten that he would most likely be waiting in my rooms when I returned.

“So, what if he does,” I said after a moment.  “I don’t love him.  And I don’t want to marry him.  And don’t say anything about me being able to weave.  I will never hear the end of it from Boudicca.”

“Why would I tell anyone?”

I only shrugged.  I was dead tired and I knew the Princess and my sisters would be knocking on my door at dawn.

“Whatever is going on, Mor, I trust you.  Now come to bed.  You look like you are about to fall asleep standing up.”

I turned around and let Tristan pull me to the bedroom and the bed.  I didn’t fight him as he helped me pull off my boots.  He waited patiently for me to change for bed, handing me his own shirt to sleep in.  He didn’t scold me for flitting around with Boudicca and Val, though I was sure he had about a thousand questions he wanted answered.  He just pulled me close and held me until I fell asleep.

Well, until I pretended to fall asleep.

Tristan fell asleep first.  I was wide awake for hours thinking about my conversations with Raghnall, Lorcan, Boudicca and Val.  It didn’t take much to convince myself not to tell Tristan any of it.  I just added it to the list of things that I would never tell him.  Things I would never tell anyone.  At least I had Boudicca and Val to talk to, because I could no longer talk to Rhiannon or Aine.

CHAPTER 12

The day of the ceremony to mark the end of the Conclave dawned bright, but with a distinct chill in the air.  It was just before dawn and I had a precious few moments to curl up close to Tristan and soak in the soothing calm that radiated from him.

“Do I get to see the dress you will be wearing?” he asked, barely awake.  Laying on his chest, I could hear and feel the rumble of his gravely morning voice.

“No,” I answered.  “The Princess and Aine want them to be a surprise.”

“Is her father going to have a heart attack?”

“Probably.”

“I should warn her brothers.”

“Probably,” I repeated.

“What have you done with all of those gifts that the faerie has been sending you?”

I hadn’t opened a single one.  I had tucked them all away in my closet and hadn’t given them a second thought.  Eventually, I knew I had to open them and be prepared if he asked me about them.  They were various shapes and sizes.  My curiosity had ended after the third package.

“You should probably open them today,” he suggested.

“I will.  Everyone will be here getting ready today.  Access to Varina and Aine’s wardrobe.”

“Then let the others open them.”

That was actually a good idea.  “Fine.  But I’m not going to keep them,” I grumbled.

“As much as I don’t want you to, you need to.  It would be considered an insult to him and the king.  One the king would jump on,” he admonished me.

I mumbled something about fragile male egos.  I hated when he was right.  “I will open them with the rest of the ladies today.  Do you want to see them later?”

“I might as well.  I should probably know what I’m up against,” he teased.

“I don’t want Prince Aerron,” I argued.

“Of course, you do.  You’re a woman.  Any other woman would have already given in to him.  Not only is he Fae, but he’s a Crown Prince.”

“You court him then,” I pouted.

“I would sooner kill him,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Why?  Because he’s Fae?”

“No.  Because he loves you,” he answered.  The humor was gone.  This was a sore point between us.

I sat up to argue, but he stopped me.  “Come on.  We need to get up.  I’ll see you later.  Try not to burn anything he gave you.”

“No promises,” I mumbled.

Breakfast was delivered just after Tristan snuck out of my room and down the passage to his room.  Aine and the others arrived with it.  Kai contented herself to bask on the couch under the attentions of Aine and the Princess.

I didn’t mention the gifts I had received until we were all finished eating and the trays had been cleared away.

“He has been sending you gifts?” Princess Vendora asked.

I nodded.  “Every day.  I haven’t opened any of them.”

“Do you mind if…” Aine started to ask before Rhiannon hushed her.

“I was hoping you would so I wouldn’t have to,” I said honestly.

I returned a moment later, my arms full of packages, and set them on the coffee table.  It took two more trips to my closet to bring the last of them out.  The Princess’s eyes glittered with mischief.

“Pick one,” I said.

Everyone dove in enthusiastically.  Even Rhiannon.  There were sounds of approval and sighs of envy as the packages were unwrapped.  He had sent a pair of intricately crafted daggers, earrings, necklaces, combs for my hair, a painting, books, jewels, sweets and rings.  It was ridiculous.  What woman actually fell for this nonsense?

Every other woman in existence, it would seem.  My sisters, the Princess and her ladies took turns trying on the jewelry and admiring the other gifts.  I realized I was going to have to wear some of the jewelry to the ceremony.  Aine must have realized that, too, because she was already picking through the pieces.

“Did you encourage this?” Rhiannon asked me.

“Absolutely not,” I said, mildly offended that she would ask such a thing.

“I don’t know how you can refuse him,” the Princess sighed.  “He is beautiful.  Like a panther in Fae skin.”  She blushed and shook her head.  “I mean, other than the obvious reasons.”

“No, he’s not,” I snapped.

“You aren’t blind, Mor,” Aine huffed at me.  “He is beautiful.  And rich.  And head over heels in love with you.”

“Thanks for pointing that out,” I said through clenched teeth.

“There are worse matches,” Novadyn said as she admired a particularly large ruby set in to a silver ring.

“And there are better matches,” Boudicca said from the doorway.  “What is all of this?”

“I was wondering if you were going to be able to get away,” Princess Vendora said.

“It didn’t take much,” Boudicca said.  “The gifts?”

“Prince Aerron has been sending them to Morrigan,” Rhiannon said snidely.  I gave her a shocked look, but she just shrugged her shoulders, dismissing me.

“I want to return all of them,” I said quickly.  I was lying.  I secretly loved the daggers and the books.  I could tell the gifts that he had sent because he honestly cared.  Not because he was being pressured to do so.

“You can’t,” Boudicca sighed.  “It would be an insult.”

I cursed fragile male egos again and made Aine, the Princess and her ladies blush and then collapse in to a fit of giggles.

“Besides,” Astrid said, wiping her eyes, “it would be a waste of perfectly good jewelry.  How do you think most of us come by ours?”

Aine’s eyes widened.  “I always assumed you had your pieces made specifically for you.  Because you chose them.”

Boudicca shook her head.  “No,” Varina said as she walked up behind Boudicca.  “Both Rangers and noble ladies alike receive gifts like this.  Sure, some are made or ordered by them.  But, many of them are gifts from would be suitors over the years.  We alter them to suit our needs occasionally.”

“But…their Tuillaryns!” Aine cried.  She was genuinely concerned with everyone’s relationships and it was endearingly naïve.

Boudicca smiled at her.  “Child, not all of our bonds are the same.  Sometimes, we will travel with a sister instead of our Tuillaryn.  It depends on what the mission requires.  Sometimes, we will travel alone, only with our Tuillaryn, or in a large group like this.  What you have with Rafe is…unique.”

“Oh,” Aine blushed and sat back.

We spent the next few hours lounging in my rooms.  The Princess sent down for the midday meal and last minute changes were made to the dresses by Aine and Varina.  Our hallway would be closed off a little before the evening so we could all go back and forth between the rooms as we pleased while we were getting ready.  It wasn’t a bad idea, even if I did want to jump out of my window and run away instead of wearing the dress that had been made for me.

Around mid-afternoon, the Princess decided she wanted to rest before it was time to start getting dressed.  The others echoed the sentiment and returned to their rooms.

I had a little bit of time to myself, so I wove up to Raghnall’s platform to get away before my rooms would be filled with ladies again.  Lorcan and Kaerrigan were on the platform with both gryphons when I arrived.

“They have been arriving all day,” Lorcan said, indicating the line of people outside of the castle gates.

“I figured.  Any problems?” I asked as I settled against Raghnall’s soft, warm side.  I realized that I was going to miss him the most.

“The Fae army hasn’t moved,” Kaerrigan said.  “They are still in the same part of the forest.  They haven’t even tried to stay at the inns in the city.”

“Probably because they are all full,” Lorcan pointed out.

Kaerrigan ignored him.  “No other leader arrived with such a large force.”

“What of the other Tribes?  The Ancients?” I asked.  There was no avoiding that question, much as I wanted to.

“They are all aware of what Raghnall knows.  What Boudicca and Val know,” Lorcan told me.

“There is no going back now, I guess,” I sighed.  I didn’t want to move from the gryphon’s side.  I needed to get back to my room, but I had this outrageous impulse to jump onto the gryphon’s back and beg him to take me far away from Vahl’strael.

“There never was any going back, Morrigan,” Lorcan said sadly.  “This is your path.  This is our path.  One step at a time.”

“One step at a time,” I echoed.

I said goodbye to the gryphons and the Yova guards and wove back to my balcony.  Tristan was waiting for me in my rooms when I stepped back inside.  He held out his arms to me and I let myself be folded against his chest.

“I have to pretend that I don’t know you or care about you,” Tristan said in a strained voice.

“I know,” I whispered.

“You’ve learned to close the bond?”

I nodded against his chest.  “Like closing a door.”

“Good.”

“What do I do about the Prince?” I asked quietly.

“Whatever you need to do to keep his father from doing anything stupid,” he answered tiredly.

“You know what that could mean,” I said carefully.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to be his Queen,” I said, holding back tears that suddenly threatened to fall.

“I know.”

He held me a moment longer, then purposely set me away from him.  I felt the distance yawn between us.  I hadn’t realized how much I didn’t want to feel that.  I fought the urge to reach for him as he stepped past me and towards the passage in the bedroom.

I was still standing along in the front room, my arms wrapped around me like I was trying to hold myself together, when Varina returned with the other ladies.

***

The next few hours were filled with chatter and laughter.  My sisters and the other ladies teased each other while they got dressed and waited their turn for Aine or Varina to work some wonder on their dress or hair.  The dresses were sure to cause a stir.

The Princess and Aine had settled on a new design that not only left our shoulders and arms bare but plunged dangerously low in the back.  Corsets had to be specially designed and were part of the dresses.  The skirts, which started where the corset ended halfway down our backsides, were loosely layered, full and long.

The heeled shoes we would wear easily added several inches to our height.  The skirts had been designed to cover our feet in those shoes.  It had been awful to stand in them while the length had been measured. 

Several versions of the design had been made and added to our wardrobes.  Many dresses had also been made for Princess Arianna and her ladies that could be altered as needed when they returned to their own court.  I silently blessed the magic involved in making the garments.  I shuddered to think about the hours that it would have taken for someone without it.

My own dress was a stunning shade of emerald green, not unlike the dress Aine had made for me at the High Keep.  I don’t know how, but Aine had found a color that resembled a dragon’s scales and made my eyes stand out against my pale skin even more than they normally did.  She carefully arranged my hair, that Varina had painstakingly curled, in a half up-half down style that made the curls spill down my back.  Some of the jewelry and the combs that the Prince had given me matched perfectly.  Surprise, surprise.

Tiny emeralds sparkled on my earlobes and dangled down from them, brushing against my neck and jaw when I moved my head.  At my throat, a silver chain of small emeralds wrapped three times around in different lengths, the longest leaving the largest stone resting just above the line of cleavage that the corset had forced in to being.

My left wrist was adorned with a collection of bangles that glittered and jangled with the slightest movement.  My right wrist, I chose to leave bare.  I did not forgo being armed, though.  On my right thigh, I slid the stiletto that the Prince had given to me into the black lacey garter that was there. 

All of the women around me were similarly adorned.  The majority of them even more so than I was.  The only person who wore the minimal amount of jewelry was Rhiannon.  It made her and I uncomfortable.  For her, it was more of the fact that she had some deep aversion to dressing like a lady.  As for myself, I simply had no need for such things unless they were useful in some way.  They were baubles, trinkets.  It made no sense to me.

Aine had just finished putting the finishing touches on Princess Vendora’s hair when a maid knocked on my open door to tell us that we were expected downstairs in a few moments.  The Princess straightened, looped her arm through Boudicca’s and stepped out into the hallway.

We fell in behind her like a fantastically dressed, secretly armed parade.

The stairs were a little hazardous given the heels I was struggling to walk in, but I managed to make it down them without falling on my face.  I chided myself for not practicing walking in the heels like Aine had suggested.

The hall where the King would receive everyone was filled to overflowing when we arrived behind the Princess.  I didn’t envy the guards that I saw along the walls and on the balconies or our Tuillaryns standing with the Princes.  I didn’t like where I was stuck, though.  In a dress, trailing behind a Princess who had a death grip on Boudicca’s arm.  How we managed to make it to the dais without incident was beyond me.

The view from the dais was staggering.  I scanned the crowd, looking for houses I recognized.  On my left was King Einal and the High Forest Fae court.  Which, of course, included Prince Aerron and his sworn.  There were various Fae nobles surrounding the king, but it couldn’t hide me from his gaze.  The way he looked at me made my skin crawl.  I itched to pull the blade from my thigh and bury it in his throat. 

As if she felt my discomfort, Boudicca pinched my arm where no one could see.  “Stop it.  Your intent is written all over your face,” she hissed in my ear.

I schooled my face in to neutral boredom again.  Thankfully, no one else noticed the brief slip of my carefully crafted mask while King Torrynd finished his speech.

Behind the dais, so everyone could see, a long table had been set with all of the papers that made up the agreements that the rulers who had attended the Conclave had agreed upon.  They stepped up to sign the treaties, agreements and then the marriage treaties.

We had stepped down and joined the crowd around the dais so the Conclave members could take their places around the table.  Off to the side, scribes and emissaries waited patiently with Druids to gather up their copies of the contracts.

I didn’t realize that Prince Aerron had found his way to my side until it was too late to move away.  It was my power that noticed him first.  Instead of the gentle purring I had become accustomed to, it was like a bolt of lightening along my bones when his fingers grazed my right hand.  I don’t know how I didn’t outwardly flinch.

“You look stunning, my lady,” he whispered.

“Thank you, your grace,” I whispered back.

“I must speak with you,” he said lowly.

“Then speak, your grace.”

He looked down at me from the corner of his eye.  “Since I do not wish for you to be surprised by this, my father is making me travel south with Prince Curren.  And you.  As his emissary to Oryn’lea.”

And to keep me in his sights.  I had known his father was up to something.  “That is unnecessary, your grace.”

“Whether it is or not is irrelevant.  He ordered it,” he hissed.  “I have been able to excuse your avoiding me so far.  I am running out of favor with him.”  His fingers curled around my own.

That is when I noticed his father watching us from the table.  And his sworn watching from behind us.  Boudicca had been right.  Whatever it was, he would try to protect me.

“You could deny your father,” I tried.

“That would be unwise for everyone present.” He barely breathed at my side.  “He is not to be denied.  By anyone.”

A flash of fear moved through his eyes, then it was gone.  I wondered if the rumor about King Einal killing his eldest son had been true, then.  I had not had the chance to ask the Prince about it.  Perhaps I would when we reached Oryn’lea.

I let him continue to hold my fingers loosely in his.  He kept them mostly tucked within the folds of my skirts so that it merely looked like we were standing close together and speaking about the treaties.

“Did you ask to come south with me?” I asked him.

“You are happy with your Tuillaryn.  I was content to let you have your happiness,” he answered.

“Your father did not accept that answer,” I reasoned.  I was careful to keep any emotion out of my voice and to keep my face neutral.

“No.  He thinks me a fool,” he said angrily.

“Oh?” I couldn’t help myself.

“A weak fool because I could not win you for myself before your Final Rites.  A dangerous fool because I insist on following these kingdoms traditions,” he said.  I could hear the anger he tried to keep out of his voice.

“You are neither weak nor foolish, your grace,” I whispered to him.

“And yet, I do nothing about you spending every night in another man’s arms,” he said softly.

I swallowed hard.  “Your grace, I…”

“I will speak with you at dinner, my lady,” he said a little louder and bowed to brush a chaste kiss across my knuckles.  “I must attend my father for a moment.”

“What was that?” Boudicca asked when the Prince stepped away.

I quickly whispered to her what had been said.  She frowned and watched the room around us for a moment.  Before she could say anything, the crowd began to move towards the dining hall where the feast was about to begin.

The feast was uneventful.  I was set between Tristan and Rhiannon with Prince Aerron directly across from me.  King Einal had only agreed to the seating arrangement because I was officially courting his son.  The Fae Prince was thankfully engaged in conversation with other lords around the table about trade, travel between kingdoms, how bad they thought the coming winter would be and other mundane topics.

It didn’t stop him from trying to catch my attention, though.  I knew he was trying to apologize for his father’s behavior.  I purposely kept my attention on Rhiannon or the other ladies around me.  I ignored Tristan, as well.  There was no reason to antagonize the Fae king and to push his good will for the night.  He could have forced my own marriage to his son in to the treaties to happen at the end of the Conclave as well and I wasn’t going to give him a reason to try some stunt like that.

I found it difficult to concentrate.  This was the closest I had been to Tristan since we had both closed the bond between us.  I was painfully aware of exactly how close he was.  My power reached out for him and couldn’t understand why his wasn’t responding.  I could feel the heat of him on my left side, soothing against the nervousness that had taken root in my stomach caused by the conversation I had had with Prince Aerron during the signing.

It was almost too much, trying to keep up with the conversation, follow the strict decorum of a lady at a royal dinner and ignoring the Prince.  I tried to distract myself by checking the guards that were standing around the room and the doors of the balconies that had been thrown open to try to let out some of the stifling heat cause by so many bodies packed in close together.

Tristan must have sensed the uptick in my fidgeting because he shifted to push his leg against mine under the table.  The reassurance was all I needed.  He was watching the same things I was trying to.  Pay attention to the Princesses and the other ladies.

I didn’t have time to consider the affect he had on me.  Prince Aerron was watching intently from across the table, looking for any sign that I had acknowledged my Tuillaryn.  It had been dangerous to seat us together, but Boudicca had done it anyway.  She needed me calm.  And it had been to prove that there was nothing between Tristan and me beyond the warrior bond.

I thanked the gods that only three courses were served, not counting desert.  The first course was a hearty stew with vegetables, high briar beef, and a salty broth.  The next course was mountain pike in a garlicy butter sauce with seared vegetables on the side.  The third course, and the largest, was wild boar, potatoes with melted cheeses, trays of fruits and baskets of buttery rolls.  I picked my way through the courses and completely ignored the pies that were set out for dessert.

It was late in the evening when people began to drift from the room.  The Princesses were allowed to make their excuses to retire much earlier than everyone else as they had to rest before the wedding the next day.  The rest of the noble ladies took advantage of their early exit and followed suit.  Sometimes being perceived as the fairer s*x had it’s advantages.

Before we parted ways on the stairs, it was agreed that our rooms would be used again in the morning to start preparing for the wedding ceremony.  My space had to be invaded every time and it was starting to wear on me.  I briefly considered lessening the wards I had set around my rooms, then thought better of it.  It was only one more day, then we would be leaving.

When I was sure I was alone and my sisters were asleep, I sealed my rooms and left for the tower.  There was no chance of sleep for me that night since Tristan was sleeping in his own room for once.  I didn’t want to think about sleeping alone again.

Only Raghnall was on the platform when I arrived.  He was watching the part of the forest where the Fae army was camped.  I sat next to him and dangled my lower legs off of the edge of the platform.

“I don’t know if I can do this, my lord.”

“The wedding?  Or having to play the part of a noble lady?”

“All of it.  Everything demands the utmost attention.  The fashion, the court gossip, treaties.  And it all seems so insignificant in the face of potential legions.  It doesn’t help that the Fae king is making everyone miserable.”

“You are courting his son now.  It could not be avoided.”

“No, it couldn’t.  He threatened to pull out of the Conclave and the treaties, which meant that the other kingdoms would have left the alliance because they all depend on his armies.”

“He knows what he brings to the table and he is using that power to get what he wants.”

“Which is more power,” I said angrily.

“And that makes him a dangerous man,” Lord Raghnall agreed.

“That is what Boudicca says.  Princess Arianna says that she will try to drag out the courtship in her kingdom as long as she can.  Whatever that means.”

“What is weighing so heavily on you, child?”

I stared out into the night.  How did I pick one thing?  Or did I even know what was at the root of my sorrow?  “Tristan,” I finally said.  “He didn’t take the courtship with Aerron well.  He found a letter from the Master that he won’t let me read.  I knew we had to hide our bond when we went to Oryn’lea, but something has changed.  I don’t feel him at all.”

“Is it not safer that way?”

“Boudicca said we have to do this.  That we have to hide our bonds so that no one knows who we are in Oryn’lea.  It just hurts.”

“There will be many hurts in life, child.  It is the way things are.  There will be pain, but there will also be joy.  You will understand when you find your balance.”

“Tristan is my balance,” I argued.  Wasn’t he?

“Are you so sure?”

“He is my Tuillaryn.  I love him.  He must be my balance.”

“Ah.  But do you not also love the Fae Prince?  Does your power not also respond to him?”

That wasn’t fair.  “But that is different.  It doesn’t respond to him the same way.”

“I do not understand the difference.  Your power, when you find your balance, will settle completely.  Do you not still fight with your power?  Does it not control you instead of you controlling it?”

“You sound like the Master.”  I was frustrated with this conversation.  I had come up to the tower for comfort.  Not this.

“Another Ancient.  I suppose we all start to sound like each other after a time when we are with a student.”

“I am not a student anymore,” I pouted.  Not my proudest moment.

“We are all students, Morrigan.  Never stop learning.  There is always something more you can learn to add to your knowledge of the Realms and how to tackle the passage of time.  Time itself is ever evolving.  How the Races tell time…it is a silly and irrelevant invention.  So many Races cling to it even though it affects them differently.”

Okay.  Point taken.  “But Tristan is the key to this part of my path right now.  I can feel it.”

I actually felt him hesitate.  “Yes.  We can feel the darkness spreading.  I fear you will be forced to face it soon.  I have sent word to the Master.  He will aide you where he can.  We only hope that he will be able to teach you what you need to know in time.  You must promise to call on us when the time comes.”

He had avoided what I had said about Tristan and I felt the first bloom of fear deep within me.  “I will call for you when I need you.  I need to get back.  My rooms will be invaded soon.”

“I do wish you had more time, child.  We cannot find the force that drives this darkness.   But know that we are trying to find it.

“Thank you, my lord.  For everything.  I am going to miss you.”

“We are never far, child.  The Tribe in Oryn’lea has its own Guardians.  They will watch over you.  When you arrive, Cathan and his mate, Aithne, will find you.  Cathan’s rider, Roman, is the captain of the guard.”

“Take care of everyone here, my lord.  I hope I will see you again.”

“You will, my lady.  You will.”

I wove back to my room and crawled in to my bed with Kai.  She must have known that I didn’t want to sleep alone because she was her normal size and on the side of the bed that Tristan had slept on nearly every night that we had been in Vahl’strael.  I curled my body around her and buried my face in the soft fur of her neck.  I didn’t even try to stop the tears that streamed down my cheeks as I cried until my eyes and head hurt.

I cursed the prophecies that Boudicca had talked about.  I cursed the Fae King, the Order and anyone who had anything to do with what was happening.  I hated that I had to pretend to be anything other than who I was.  If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t even know who that was supposed to be.

I didn’t even know if I was supposed to be a Ranger and serve in the Order of Ebon Lys or if it was just luck of the draw.  Something else in my life that had been manipulated for me.  There were so many people, Ancients and otherwise, who seemed to know so much more about my life than I did.  And the next day, I had to slap another smile on my face and watch two people say the vows that would bind their lives together as mates, husband and wife, whatever they wanted to call it…and, shamefully, I hated them for it.

I hated them because I was likely to never have it. I would be forced along a path that I had never imagined.  I would likely die if that ridiculous prophecy was correct and I was unprepared.  If I did manage to live through it, there was still King Einal and the marriage to his son to deal with.

My life was never going to be my own.  I was never going to marry because I chose to.  I was never going to simply be Morrigan.  I wondered if Princess Arianna was somewhere in the castle struggling with the same thoughts.

Kai let me sob in to her fur until I fell asleep and drifted in to the dream that would take me through the swirling darkness and a whole new combination of emotions and disappointment.