Forbidden (The Secret World Of Atlantis 2)

Chapter 13 - Pushing Through Walls

As I’m lying in the spare bed that night, I find myself unable to fall asleep. I can hear Fara’s slight snoring coming from the other side of the cabin. I wish I could do that too. But my mind is too full. I just don’t buy Fara’s excuse for Eros. He told me, that my bonded didn’t want him to sleep on the floor. And that’s why he went up to the castle.

Like I don’t know him better. He loves to run. And not just in the morning. It’s what takes over every aspect of his life. Running from responsibility. From his troubles. From me. I’m not stupid, I know he’s avoiding me. Helping me fool the Guardians was nothing more than him clearing his conscience, so he could pull a stunt like this later. I can’t believe I actually thought that he was returning to his normal self.

I toss and turn for most of the night, Eros the only thing on my mind. I can’t understand what is going on in his head. And he doesn’t let me in either. We’ve been through so much and now that our bond awakened, we should be closer than ever before. So why does he keep pushing me away? What is he afraid of? It can’t get any worse than him almost killing me. But that’s over too, because I’m alive and well. My neck still hurts, but that’s going to pass soon enough.

I can’t lie in bed anymore. It drives me insane. I get up silently, slip my clothes on and walk up to the deck. I know better, than to put myself at risk, so I don’t storm to the castle and barge through the door. No matter how tempted I am to throw Eros out of bed and shake him until he tells me what his problem is. There are too many people, who would sell me out without even blinking.

Not just in Gunguru. They’re everywhere. Those prison guards proved that. And the sailors too. Only the judge and Fara didn’t want anything in return for helping me. Gods bless their fortune.

I lean onto the railing, watching the magnificent castle, lightened by dozens of torches. Except for the streets, it’s the only thing that I’m able to make out in the darkness of the night. It’s heavily guarded, I know that very well. Gunguru has its own Guardians too, that’s why it wouldn’t be a good idea to near it too much. Perhaps this is the reason behind Eros’s sudden disappearance. Maybe he didn’t want to put me in danger. At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. These Guardians are under the Callistos’ command. They would turn their heads away, if they saw me accompanying Eros.

I shake my head furiously, trying to chase the thoughts away. I need to stop thinking about him, or else I’ll go mad. He left without me. No matter how much I dwell on it, that isn’t going to change. I let out a shaky breath, the events of the past few days finally taking its toll on me. But as soon as tears spill over my face, I wipe them away with determination. I am not going to cry over him again. No matter how much I care.

A chilling breeze makes its way towards the city, making me realize summer is still far behind the corner. I rub my arms subconsciously, taking one last glance at the castle, before I turn on my heels and head back to Fara’s cabin. I must get some sleep, or else I’ll be a walking corpse tomorrow.

I wake up in panic, as I sense that we’re moving. Oh no, did I sleep for so long? I check Fara’s bed. It’s empty. Why didn’t he wake me up? There’s a sour taste in my mouth and I feel like someone hammered a nail into my skull. My headache is so splitting, that I’m barely able to keep my eyelids up. I hate sleep deprivation. It’s going to be the death of me one day.

I sit up in bed, leaning against the wall with my eyes closed. I’m not able to do much else at the moment. I stretch my neck to one side and flinch in pain as I try to stretch the other side too. The pain is unbearable today. I touch the two small bumps, gasping as I hit a hurtful spot. What is up with the wound today? It was completely fine yesterday.

Suddenly I stiffen as I feel someone’s presence in the cabin. My eyes snap open and I pull the covers tighter around me as I meet Eros’s empty gaze. I stare at him in shock, unsure of what to say. Do I even want to know how long he’s standing there?

“I brought a new supply of the concoction from the castle,” he informs me blankly. I open my mouth, then close it. For the love of Olympus, pull yourself together Arya! But I’m too busy overthinking the way my hair looks like after sleep or how big the bags under my eyes might be. But he doesn’t seem to care at all, which makes me feel even more embarrassed.

He walks past the bed, placing the vials inside the first drawer of the cupboard. However, he hesitates as he is about to put the last one in. He clasps it tightly in his hand, closes the drawer and heads over to me. I watch with my breath hinged as he offers the concoction to me. “Two sips should do the trick for one ride. And don’t wait too long,” he specifies in the same monotone voice.

I take the vial with hesitation, my chest fluttering as my fingers brush against his. He pulls his hand back, like I’ve burned him. His reaction hurts. It hurts more than the physical pain in my neck and my head combined. But I still gather the strength to look him in his fragile eyes. “Thank you,” I reply quietly. He doesn’t respond. But his gaze is filled with guilt and I can sense how shaken he is, when he leaves the cabin.

My lower lip trembles, but I force the tears away. I promised myself that I wouldn’t cry over him. And I won’t. I clench the vial tightly, then open it up to take two sips of the bitter liquid. I shudder as I gulp it down. I know it’s meant to help with sea sickness, but is there really nothing to do about its awful taste? I close the vial and seal it for good measure. I don’t want to spill its content.

I decide to get up after that. It’s time to face the world. In other words, put the awkward encounter with Eros behind me. I just hope he’ll be able to do that too. I get dressed one more time, since I jumped back into my night gown after my little walk. As I run my fingers through my hair, I’m careful to pull it over my shoulder, to cover the wound on my neck. I don’t want to upset anyone. Again.

But as I rise to the deck, the atmosphere is so thick, that I could cut it with a knife. I stop in my tracks as I notice Eros staring down at Fara with a furious expression. Not just that, the sailor is staring right back up at him in the same way. They notice me before I even open my mouth. Eros’s face shifts possibly a million times, before he storms off to the other end of the ship. I raise my eyebrows in dismay. No matter how many times I tell myself, that this is how things are going to be for a while, Eros’s behaviour still never ceases to amaze me.

“What was this about?” I ask Fara with a frown. He sighs before shaking his head and putting a smile on his face.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” he dismisses me. I clench my jaw. Why does everyone keep treating me like I might break at any point, when I’m obviously the only person, who’s keeping their s**t together? But I let it go. I know I won’t get the answer, that I seek. Fara isn’t the one, who can give it to me anyway. I glance at Eros’s slightly slouched back, letting out a frustrated sigh. Is he ever going to show interest in speaking to me again?

I don’t get an answer for the five days, that it takes us to travel from city to city, releasing the pixies to deliver letters from students. Unlike Dairelis and Gunguru, we are anchored in the rest of the cities for a whole day. I’m not allowed to leave the ship, because someone could try to capture me and claim the prize on my head.

By the weekend, I already get frustrated with this. The deck and Fara’s cabin are the only two places, that I’m allowed to be. I understand that this is solely for my safety though, so I don’t protest. We’ve worked too hard to prevent me from getting taken by the Guardians, I can’t just ruin that, because I don’t feel like being on the ship.

As we finally set sail from Stenraan on Sunday evening, I already feel myself breathing more freely. Now I don’t have to worry about my father for the next couple of months. I’ll deal with him, when the time comes. Even if I already have a feeling this might get ugly. He still hasn’t terminated my betrothal. And I doubt he’s going to.

The night is even more awkward, than those before. If that’s even possible. It’s Fara’s turn to be on night duty, which makes me and Eros end up alone in his cabin. We’ve barely spoken a word over the last few days and it disappoints me a lot. Perhaps even more, than the fact that my own father has a prize on my head.

He comes down a long time after I’ve already gone to bed. He was probably waiting for me to fall asleep, so he wouldn’t have to deal with me. “Is that really what you think?” he asks all of a sudden, his powerless voice making me stiffen. I take a deep breath, before turning towards him in bed. But he isn’t looking at me. He lies down on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“What else am I supposed to think?” I respond with disappointment. “It’s not like you’ve made much of an effort to fix the mess between us,” I continue in an accusing tone. That’s when he looks at me, his face humiliated.

“I can’t deal with this right now,” he implies, making me scoff and turn right back to stare at the wall. Of course he can’t. He’s been telling me the same thing, since I saved his arse from a death penalty. So much for gratefulness. “I am grateful, Arya. I just don’t think I deserved to be saved,” he points out. This makes me sit up and stare at him in astonishment.

“That wasn’t your decision to make,” I state, my lips feeling numb as I speak. He watches me for a moment, before averting his gaze to the ceiling once again. I bite my tongue, as I get the urge to provoke him furthermore. It’s no use.

This time I lie down and turn to the wall for good. As much as I’m let down, the presence of my bonded does wonders for my spirit. It’s like his very presence is able to calm me down, which is how I find myself drifting off to sleep within moments.

When I wake up and turn around, he’s already gone. More than that, I just feel the ship coming to a stop. I jump up in excitement. We’re back! I can finally step onto ground again.

I get dressed hastily, packing my nightgown into my bag. I rush up to the deck, just in time to see Eros disappearing down the ladder. I try not to be disappointed, but how could I not be? He was just making some progress yesterday, why is he running again?

But I don’t have the opportunity to ask myself about what went wrong in his head, because the head sailor is staring at me with a smirk on his face. He’s turning something in his hand. A golden ring. The one, that Eros promised him. “The young Prince already paid up. It’s your turn now, Princess,” he declares, giving me a confident smile.

“Of course. As I’ve told you, I have the jewellery in my house. I’ll bring it right back to the ship,” I assure him, trying to go after Eros, but the sailor blocks my path. He shakes his head, his smile long gone.

“I’m coming with you and you’ll give the p*****t straight into my hands,” he commands with an aggressive tone. A tone, that I dislike very much. I narrow my eyes at his audacity.

“I think you’re forgetting, who you’re speaking to. Treat me with disrespect one more time and you’ll be left with half the p*****t we agreed to,” I warn him. He already opens his mouth in protest, when I continue. “Or shall we make that no p*****t at all?” I provoke him. I expect him to have an angry outburst, but he simply composes himself and bows.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty. After you,” he submits to me. But I don’t leave just yet. I turn to Fara, who is watching me with curiosity in his eyes.

“Thank you. For everything. I will never forget where your loyalty lies. If you ever need anything, feel free to contact me. I’m in your debt after all,” I claim, but he just shakes his head.

“It was my pleasure, Princess. And consider your debt paid … Once you mend a certain relationship,” he implies, his lips curling up into a slight smirk. I smile, giving him a one last nod, before climbing down from the ship.

I walk right into the direction of my house. The head sailor follows after me at a safe distance, clearly not wanting to invade my personal space. And I appreciate that. The key is in the flower trough, just where I left it. I use it to unlock the door and ask the sailor to wait outside.

I get an odd feeling, as I step into my house once again. Gods know what happened in the week, that I was absent. I just hope I don’t get expelled for pulling a stunt like this. I quickly grab one of the necklaces, that I know I won’t miss and step outside. “Here you go. Thank you for not turning me in,” I tell the sailor, who just nods at me. Once I hand him the jewellery, he simply turns on his heel and disappears into the direction of the ship. I sigh. The only thing greedy people care about is money, apparently. Or things, that grant them money.

But the only luxury that I’m seeking now, is taking a shower. As I finally get it, I find myself standing under the running water for a few minutes. I haven’t been able to wash myself for a whole week. If I wasn’t so glad, that I got out of all the trouble I was thrown into, I would probably feel very disgusted with myself.

Once I refresh myself and get dressed into my school uniform, numerous things begin to worry me. The first one among them is what the Headmistress might do with Eros now that he’s back. Is he still going to punish him? And more importantly, what sort of punishment awaits me, for leaving the school like that?

All those thoughts haunt me, as I walk up towards the mansion. No matter how many times I see it, its magnificence never ceases to amaze me. It’s truly one of a kind. From the outside as well as from the inside.

But I soon forget about the building, when I have to face the students. The whole Dining Hall stares at me with astonishment with the company of soft murmurs, while I try to ignore their curious gazes. As long as they don’t start calling me a vampire w***e once again, I’ll be able to deal with them.

I catch myself checking around for Eros, but as expected, he isn’t here yet. However, I am met with some very startled faces of my friends. I decide to head over to them, without even checking the buffet. I don’t think I’ll be able to consume anything after they deal with me.

I brace myself for their disappointment and wait for them to yell at me, how worried they were. Especially my best friend. But the first thing Elena asks me, makes blood freeze in my veins. “Why didn’t you tell us, that you and Eros are bonded?!”