Chapter 3: Nadja's P.O.V.
2025 Words
!!! *** WARNING! CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS THAT READERS MAY FIND DISTRIBUING. SUCH AS s****l AND PHYSICAL ABUSE, VIOLENCE, AND TALK OF SUICIDE! READER DISCRECTION ADVISED! *** !!!
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~ Four and a half years later ~
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"Nadja, Gildor wants to see you." Eera told me.
I looked down at the floor I was in the middle of scrubbing, then back up, but Eera was gone. I wiped the sweat from my brow, and stood up. I tossed the scrub brush down, and walked to Gildor's office. I knocked on the door softly.
"Come in." Came Gildor's voice from the other side.
I took a deep breath, and opened the door. I walked to the front of his desk with my head down. I didn't dare look up. In fact, I don't think I have looked anyone in the eyes over the last four years. Not unless they forced me to.
"You wanted to see me sir," I said.
"Yes," Gildor said. "I got another dress for you," he said.
My body stiffened immediately. Gildor stood from his desk, and I started to tremble. He came around to me, and held out a dress.
"I-I c-cannot a-accept this s-sir." I tried.
"Why not? We have already discussed your p*****t," Gildor said.
"B-b-but p-people w-will start t-to n-notice." I said.
"No need to worry about that, Nadja. Nobody cares what kind of wh.ore you are." He said, amused.
When I still didn't move, Gildor shoved the dress at me.
"Must I change you myself? I thought you stopped fighting me after the first time I did that." He said, annoyed.
I quickly took the dress from him.
"Nadja.." Gildor sung out.
"Th-th-thank y-you s-sir." I stuttered out.
"You really should get that stuttering issue under control. Have you always been like that?" He asked.
I know he doesn't really want an answer. Truth is, I have developed a speech problem. I'm not sure how it happened. I didn't speak for a very long time after Elanor's death. A full year actually. When I had no choice but to speak again, my words stuttered out of me. When I'm scared it's worse. And I am almost always terrified.
"What are you waiting for, Nadja? Strip." Gildor ordered.
I set the new dress on the chair beside me. Then I started to untie the corset behind my back. It took me a while to loosen it. Then I let it fall to the ground around my feet.
Gildor circled me. He placed his fingers against my collar bone and I finched. His touch isn't harsh, in fact, it's soft. But I know what comes next.
"Hmmm." Gildor hummed, pleased. "For a Darkling, and a servant, you have a very nice figure, Nadja. If you were fed properly, you would probably be shaped just like your mother. She was quite a sight." He said.
I tried desperately to stop trembling.
"Even with your dark skin... It's almost like you're teasing me all the time," he said.
Gildor grabbed my chin, and forced my eyes to his. He smiled at me, making my stomach churn. Then he wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me against him.
"You and this damn body... You're a seductress, aren't you? You do this to me on purpose, don't you?" He asked.
I just squeezed my eyes shut, and tried not to cry.
"Answer me." Gildor ordered.
"N-no s-sir. I-I d-don't k-know.. w-what you m-mean." I said.
The smile fell from Gildor's face.
"Get on your knees." He ordered as he released me.
I fell to my knees in front of him. Gildor unfasened his pants. I fought back the bile rising in my throat as he pulled out his member.
Gildor has been making me do things like this since I was 18. I'm not sure what sudden change he saw in me, or if he just likes to be this cruel. He never rapes me. Usually he just touches me while he touches himself. Then he grew to forcing me to give him oral satisfaction. I fear one day things will keep escalating.
Gildor grabbed the back of my head, and I opened my mouth. I have no choice, but to endure this life. What else can I even do?
I still have no power. No magic, no strength, no brains. I have nothing.
This is my life.
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Gildore had me wear the new dress out of his office. I kept my head down, but I could still see a few other servants scurrying around. They all know what Gildor does to me. None of them care.
The only person that ever cared about me died over four years ago. It was all because of me too. If I had not been born, if I had just kept to myself, Elanor would still be here.
Anyone who has ever shown me kindness has met death.
"Did you hear?"
I was just about to turn the corner, but I paused when I heard my cousin Melia talking. Melia is the only person I go out of my way to avoid. I mean, I do try to avoid my aunt and uncle and Gildor, but Melia.. She's someone I dread running into more than Gildor. Melia is much crueler than her parents. She's only a few years younger than me, and is a spoiled rotten brat. Or at least, that's what the other servants say. I only know her as the person who beats me the most.
"What's that your highness?" One of her handmaidans asked.
"I gave Gildor another dress to give to that Darkling," Melia said with a laugh.
My eyes went wide. Does she know what Gildor does to me for those dresses? She must to even do something like that in the first place.
"That was very kind of you, your highness." Her handmaiden said.
Melia scoffed.
"Kind to Gildor. I would never be kind to that disgusting half breed." She spat. "You do know what he makes her do for those dresses, don't you?"
"Yes your highness, everyone knows," her handmaiden replied.
"Good," Melia said. "I mean, what kind of wh.ore does she have to even be to do something like that for clothes. How pathetic. I'm ashamed to share blood with her." She ranted.
"It is a disgrace, your highness." Her handmaiden agreed.
"I don't even know why Gildor gets so excited to get se.xual favors from her in the first place. She must be the ugliest creature I've ever seen. I mean, have you seen those large ears of hers? They even move according to her mood. They always fall back like a dogs." Melia continued to rant.
What is a dog?
"A dog your highness?" Her handmaiden asked.
"A dog is a creature that lives in the human realm. It's a pet. I got to see one when I visited the human realm last year with Father." Melia said. "Have you ever seen a wolf?"
"Wolves do not live in this realm, M'lady," She replied.
"Yes, but surly you know what one looks like," Melia said.
"I can't say I do M'lady." She said.
"Unbelievable," Melia muttered. "Well, it resembles a wolf. Smaller though. More insignificant. Perfect to describe Nadja."
I turned in the opposite direction, no longer wanting to hear more. I don't know what a dog is, but I do know what a wolf is. I dream of them. At least, that is what Elanor always told me it sounded like when I explained to her. I wouldn't mind being a dog if they were like wolves.
I know nothing about wolves other than what I dream. Almost every night I dream of them. So many. All different colors and sizes. There is always one that draws me in. I never remember much when I wake up the next morning. Only those green eyes linger in my mind.
It's probably just a way for me to escape my reality. Nothing more than a fantasy. A silly, silly dream.
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I just finished all of my chores for the day. It's already been nightfall for several hours. My body is aching from the days' work. I walked into the kitchen with hopes that there were scraps left. I sighed when I couldn't find anything.
I haven't eaten in two days. At this rate, I won't survive much longer. However, I don't think that would be a bad thing. Not at this point.
I have nothing to live for. I have no power, no strength. No one loves me. I'm living in hell without Elanor here.
Just as tears stung my eyes, someone entered the kitchen. I looked behind me to see Hally walking in in a panic. She looked up at me, and I immediately averted my eyes.
"Nadja, help me." Hally ordered.
I walked over to the table, and waited for her to tell me what to do.
"I need to replace the candles in the grand hall, the Grand duke's quarters, and the Grand Duchess's hall as well. Will you do it for me? Thanks." She said.
Hally didn't even wait for me to respond. She just shoved the candle sticks at me, and bolted from the room. I'm even a servant to the servants.
I sighed as I went to go replace the candle sticks. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here anymore. I'm too afraid to leave this place. I've barely been outside, let alone anywhere else in this realm. I wouldn't even know where to go if I ran away.
Maybe it would be better if I died. I will be able to see Elanor again. See my mother for the first time. Even if I don't see them in the afterlife, at least I wouldn't be here. Living is pure agony. I don't want to do it anymore.
You must live Nadja...
I sighed. That voice comes and goes. I think it might be my subconscious. My way of being too cowardly to end it all.
I was just about to go into my uncle's quarters, but stopped when I heard voices.
"What are you saying exactly, Father?" Melia asked.
"We need to do something about her before this treaty happens." Uncle Haldir said.
"What does it even matter?" Melia asked.
"Don't be stupid, daughter," Aunt Idril said. "Nadja is a Darkling. Do you really think the Dark Elves will keep the peace of this treaty if they find out how we've been treating one of their own? They'll use it as the perfect excuse to start another war."
"I thought that Nadja was a Light Elf though?" Melia asked.
Uncle scoffed.
"She might be my sister's blood, but that halfling is more Dark than Light. Just look at her. She looks just like those creatures, but with longer ears. It's disgusting." He said.
"If Dark Elves are so bad... How did Aunt Raibyn get pregnant by one? Was she raped?" Melia asked.
My eyes went wide. No... Not my mother. Please tell me it's not true.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I would like to say yes, because why would the Great Healer let a disgusting Darkling touch her?" Uncle spat. "But Raibyn was very adamant that the conception was consensual. She would go on and on about how the father was her mate, but she would never tell me who he was. Rai didn't even try to find him again. It was always like she knew something that the rest of us didn't," he said thoughtfully.
Melia snorted.
"Yeah, that she was about to have a disgusting child." She said.
"Enough Melia," Aunt Idril said. "Haldir, what are we going to do? If they find out about her-"
"They won't." Uncle interrupted her. "Because we are going to take care of her. Send for my guards. Tonight will be Nadja's last night alive."
Fear struck through me at Uncle's words. They mean to kill me. I don't understand.. Surly no Dark Elf would care about my existence. I'm nothing.
That must not matter to Uncle.
Run Nadja..
This time, I listened to the voice.
- Writer
