The Love of Lies

Dignity

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MATURE CONTENT 18+

Cori's POV

When Ashton asked if he could take me home, I was not at first sure what he meant, but I was willing to find out. It became obvious when we were in the taxi, and I swear the man has magic in his fingertips because all he was doing was caressing my arms, but I was feeling hot all over.

As soon as we stepped out of the car, he pressed a kiss against my lips that felt like he had been wanting to kiss me forever. It isn't my first kiss, but it is my first time making out with someone, so our teeth keep hitting, making me laugh at myself.

I haven't had anything else to drink, but I swear I feel more drunk from his touch than the alcohol, and by the time I look down, I'm completely nude. I’m sure I should be embarrassed, but for whatever reason, I’m not.

Ashton asks me how I like it and I tell him that I don't know. I have never had s*x before, not because I didn't want to, but because I’ve never had the confidence to let myself go.

Ashton makes me feel safe, and all night he made me feel beautiful and wanted. It’s probably not the best reason to sleep with someone, but it’s good enough for me.

I tell myself that if I'm going to lose it, I might as well do it with someone who gave me butterflies even before I knew what he looked like.

I watch the man put on a condom, and I try hard not to let fear show on my face. He is big, and my mind starts to wonder how bad it's going to hurt me.

I know from school that s*x can be painful, but I also know that being relaxed helps so that’s what I’m trying to do.

I don't have to guess about how it will feel for long, because Ashton slams himself inside of me, making me scream out in pain before he lets up.

“Cori,” he whispers as he kisses away my tears. “When you said I would have to teach you… did you mean this is your first time?” I answer honestly, but I don't open my eyes.

I can't open them, and I won’t because I'm afraid to see how he's looking at me.

Will he think I'm desperate? Will he think I'm lying? Will he stop?

I feel more tears forming as the man pulls out of me, and I let out a whimper that’s both emotionally and physically driven, but a few seconds later, I feel him at my core again.

This time though, he entered my body much more slowly than he did the first time. The action makes it easier for me to relax, and my body does the rest, lubricating my entrance which makes things more pleasurable for both of us.

Ashton starts picking up his pace, rocking his hips into me, and making me gasp. The pain I felt has gradually subsided and a euphoric feeling has taken its place.

Intuitively, I open my legs wider, giving the man better access, and eventually the feeling of pleasure is so overwhelming that I find myself roughly clutching at his shoulders, and even biting him a little.

A familiar feeling starts to build within me, only it's more intense than the orgasms I have given myself.

My back arches, and although Ashton has been telling me how good I feel and how tight I am the whole time, he suddenly starts cursing.

"So f*****g tight," he whispers as he sucks and licks my neck, driving me crazy.

I feel the muscles in my core tighten as my whole-body spasms. I want to shout, but I settle for calling out his name before holding my breath.

By the time the feeling has passed, Ashton and I are left panting and I can feel his erection slowly shrinking. I know it’s over, but I can’t bring myself to speak or move.

The man starts kissing my face again, and while it could mean nothing, it feels great, and I find myself drifting into a comfortable sleep that's half exhaustion and half contentment.

When I next open my eyes, I panic. I remember what happened the night before, but it doesn’t feel real.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was still in Ashton’s bed with him slightly snoring beside me, I would have thought it was a dream.

I roll onto my side, ignoring the soreness between my legs and just stare at him. He was amazing last night, that much I remember clearly, but I wonder what our time together meant.

“Ashton,” I whisper, hoping to wake the man. I don’t want to just leave, but I remember hearing men at the bar complain about one-night stands who get too clingy. Last night was special for me, but it doesn’t mean it meant anything to him.

Having destroyed my own confidence, I stand, wincing a little as the reality sets in again.

I lost my virginity to a man I technically met at a bar, but no part of me regrets it, I just wish it could have been something more and not fueled by alcohol.

I try to wake Ashton again, this time pushing at his shoulder because I don’t know where my clothes are, and I feel uncomfortable without them.

I see a condom wrapper on the floor, which is relieving because I honestly don’t know much about Ashton’s personal life, and I would hate for my first time to have resulted in an STD.

The thought suddenly worries me, and without asking, I find the man’s restroom, and get into the shower, helping myself to whatever I can find to clean and dry my body before I go in search of my clothing.

The sun is beginning to rise, which helps me to see without having to fumble in the dark, but when I find my clothes, I’m embarrassed again.

They were all scattered from Ashton's bedroom to the front door, and although I can’t remember, we must have been in a hurry.

I quickly dress myself, but before I can leave, I find myself distracted by the size of the apartment and its furnishings.

Nothing looks like it can be bought in a store, and I’m confused by it.

If Ashton has money, why is he coming to Syd’s and why would he be interested in me?

I'm startled out of my thoughts when the front door opens, and a tall, elegant looking woman comes in, making my heart sink.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I- um… I was just leaving.” My heart burns as I start looking for my other shoe, but the woman spots it before I can and she picks it up, holding it behind her back.

“Tell me who you are before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing in my home.” That is something I don’t want and can’t afford to happen.

I won’t make bail because I don’t have anyone to post it for me, and I don’t need anything to tarnish my record when I’m just two months away from graduating.

“I didn’t know he was in a relationship,” I whisper, ashamed of myself for not having guessed.

“You didn’t know that Ashton Lewis, one of the most eligible bachelors in the state, had a fiancé?” Those words cut me like a knife, but before I can respond, the woman slaps me, nearly knocking me down in the process.

I stand there like an i***t, holding my cheek as she snarls for me to leave, throwing my shoe into the distance like I’m a dog.

I scramble to pick it up, but when I try to walk past her, she snatches my arm, digging her nails into the flesh with so much force that I wonder if the skin is broken.

“If I ever see you again, I will tell my fiancé that I caught you digging through his wallet.”

“I didn’t-”

“I don’t care what you did or didn’t do,” the woman interjects, forcing me into silence again. “Just know that he was bored because I was away on business. Now that I’m back, keep your disgusting hands to yourself; otherwise, one of my diamond earrings may go missing.” I nod, understanding the threat, and her tone sounds confident enough to make sure that any of her accusations hold weight.

The woman releases my arm, and I dart out of the apartment, not bothering to put on my shoes until I’m outside of the building.

I hail a taxi, noting that the area I'm in is a part of town I’ve never visited, and besides that, it's far from home.

School and work have dominated my life, so when I moved to this state I never explored; not only do I not have the time, but it's just too expensive.

I climb into the cab, and the woman, thank goodness, frowns at me. It takes me all of ten seconds to realize that she thinks I’m a prostitute, and I find myself bawling my eyes out in shame.

I suddenly feel so dirty that I don’t want to be seen by anyone, and I’m hit with a double blow when the woman tells me the fare.

“Don’t tell me you can’t afford it. A pretty girl like you must have made a fortune in that area.”

“I’m not a-” my lip trembles, and the woman turns to me, finally looking at me like a person.

“Honey… were you… Do you need the police?”

“Can they get back my stolen dignity?” The woman scoffs, but it's not mocking or disgusted like her previous tone.

I hand her my card so she can process the transaction, and when she gives me the receipt, I feel a little better. She gave me an ‘medical emergency’ discount, so I only paid half of what I owed.

“It took me almost thirty years to realize that dignity can’t be stolen. Whatever it is, whoever he is, or she… They only have power over you if you let them.” I stare at the cabbie, who looks less intimidating now that she's being nice to me.

The woman is right, and after catching my breath, I exit her cab, determined not to let the humiliating situation I was in define my worth for even a second.