The Love of Lies

Detached

Cori’s POV

The events of the morning distracted me from how nervous I was, but sitting in the doctor's office has brought those feelings right back to the surface.

I haven’t said much to Ashton, and he hasn’t said much to me, so the only thing I can do right now is read the parenting magazine that was on the table beside me. One of the articles is so scary that it’s making me feel ill, but I can’t stop reading it.

Prenatal care is important, but so far, the only care I’ve really had is my initial bloodwork and a prescription for vitamins. I don’t know if my baby is developing properly, nor have I heard the heartbeat since that first clinic visit, and truthfully, I’m afraid something could be wrong.

I was still working at Syds while I was in the beginning stages of pregnancy, I wasn’t eating well, I was barely sleeping, and now, I’m wondering if any of my life struggles were worth the possible outcomes.

I worked so hard to get through school, only to end up pregnant and unemployed. I don’t even have health insurance, so if something goes wrong during delivery, my life will be in the hands of Ashton and probably debt collectors.

“Why do you look so-”

“Russo?” The nurse calls, interrupting Ashton who must have seen the color draining from my face.

I toss the magazine to the side and make my way to the nurse, answering the woman’s questions as best as possible while she checks my blood pressure and my weight.

I explain to her that I’ve been feeling sick, and she makes a notation for the doctor before we’re seated in the examination room.

“Hey Cori, it’s good to see you again.” My doctor takes a seat, and the first thing she starts with is that morning sickness affects everyone differently, and she’s not concerned yet. “Any other changes that I should know about?”

“I may need another STD workup.”

“Really?” Ashton sarcastically questions, looking at me through narrowed eyes. “Cori, don't waste this woman’s time. I haven’t been with anyone else since the first time we were together.” My doctor is silent, but she’s watching the interaction between Ashton and I closely.

“Are you two together now?”

“Yes.”

“No,” we simultaneously say.

I was shocked by Ashton’s response, but based on his expression, he was also shocked by mine.

“I see… Well, anyway Ms. Russo. Mr. Lewis is right. If this is just a couple’s spat, let's not waste the lab's time. You and I both know that the only monogamous relationship is the one we have with ourselves. If you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him.” I roll my eyes, knowing that the woman is right, but that article is still scaring me.

“Cori, please believe me on this. I would never do that to you or our baby.” I shrug, feeling a little uncertain of the man’s words, but my doctor changes the subject, and now I’m nervous about other things.

“We’re really late on this scan now, but it looks like you’ve gained a reasonable amount of weight, your blood pressure is good, and depending on what the tech says, we’re looking at a natural birth.”

The woman leaves, and because Ashton and I are here for a pregnancy scan, we’re led into a much smaller room with the sonography equipment.

“Cori… I meant what I said. Since Troy’s party, the only woman I’ve been with is you.” I say nothing, intimidated by the environment, but Ashton thinks I’m ignoring him.

Eventually the man starts asking me if I’m alright, but I’m not ‘alright,’ I’m struggling to remain calm, and his pestering isn’t helping at all.

“Please say something to me.”

“I’m okay.” I said those words, but I was really saying it for myself, knowing that I’m seconds from running out of the room, and I’m trying to convince myself to stay.

“No, you aren’t.” Ashton rests his hand next to mine, but I don’t want to rely on a man who may not be around when I really need him.

I got myself into this mess, and it’s clear that I’ll have to get myself out, especially now that Ashton’s family is trying to trick me into forgiving him without him putting any real effort into trying to make amends.

“Ms. Corinne Russolini?” I flinch with the name but recover quickly.

“Please, call me Cori.” The tech is new and hasn’t worked with me before, so I’m sure she made a mistake, but I can’t put anything past Ashton, who may have slept with her too.

“Sorry, I just saw the note on your chart. It won’t happen again.” That aside, the woman instructs me to lift my shirt, which I do, and she takes measurements of my stomach, jotting them down before she gels my abdomen.

Again, I get so nervous that I almost vomit, but a warm hand engulfs mine, so I close my eyes and focus on the fact that at least for right now, Ashton is here, and this is his baby, so he might be nervous too.

“Is it okay for me to get some measurements of the fetus before turning the monitor?” I quickly agree, and the woman starts working before she makes a startled sound.

“What?!” Ashton questions, clearly as frightened as I am. The tech ignores us completely, and I start trembling as my mind travels into some of the darkest places it’s been in a long time.

The man must have noticed, because he turns to comfort me, squeezing my hand with both of his, kissing my fingers as the woman in front of us flips through my chart.

“Ms. Russo, I have to step out for a second.” Pure panic overtakes me, and when the tech returns, she does so with my doctor.

“Relax you two. Don’t look so scared. Everything is okay.” The doctor and tech work together, and after a few agonizing seconds, the woman talks again. “Cori, when you went for your initial workup, what did the technician tell you?”

“She said ‘there it is.’”

“And nothing else?”

“She said that I was too far along to be helped.” Ashton doesn’t know about this part of the story, at least he doesn’t know the details. “She gave me the information to a clinic that could help me, but… it wasn’t affordable.” Again, the woman is silent, but after a few seconds, she turns the monitor for Ashton and I to look at, but we’re both confused.

“It’s twins.”

Ashton’s POV

I was actually relieved when Cori asked for a full STD workup because it gave me an excuse to tell her that she’s the only person I’ve been with since my brother’s party. I don’t know if she believes me or not, and I’m sure her doctor didn’t help when she added her opinion on relationships.

I become annoyed that I may have to find another doctor when it seems like Cori put a lot of effort into finding a place she would feel comfortable visiting, but I won’t take any chances.

My mother has done her research, and the doctor Cori chose has ties to a local women's shelter. She provides the women free prenatal care, and she also has pregnancy packages that allow low and middle class income families to pay small amounts until the month of their due date.

I know how significant that is because for most people, paying two to three hundred dollars a month is more realistic than paying five thousand plus hospital bills. I know the institution she works with takes a fee from her, but she’s government subsidized as well, so overall, she’s making a lot more money by being ‘generous.’

I was still annoyed when we moved into another room, but within seconds, I can sense that Cori isn’t doing well. Her hands are clasped so tightly on the medical paper that it’s torn, and it only gets worse when the technician arrives.

The woman’s actions and her previous mistake gave me the courage to grab Cori’s hand, and I’m relieved when she didn’t pull it away. However, the peace is short lived because the tech is scaring the sh*t out of us.

In my mind, I’m thinking of all the things I can do to apologize to Cori if something goes wrong with our baby, especially since I’m the one who took off the condom. Had I not been thinking with my d*ck, we wouldn’t be here right now, but the arrival of Cori’s doctor helps to immediately calm us.

The woman asks Cori about her visit to the ab*rtion clinic, and while the girl told me that she went, I’ve never heard details about her experience.

“...It wasn’t affordable,” Cori whispers, breaking my heart because I treated her like sh*t in the beginning, thinking that she was trying to ‘trap’ me, but in reality, the only trapped person is her.

Cori’s doctor turns the monitor for us to look at, but we’re both confused until she explains it to us.

“It’s twins.”

“Cori what the f*ck?! Did you kno-”

“I didn’t!” Cori cuts me off before I can finish my sentence, and she’s practically curled into a ball, making me feel like a complete asshole.

“Mr. Lewis, can you leave?”

“What?”

“Leave, now!” Cori’s doctor is pointing toward the door, and I realize that she must be thinking that I’m physically abusive toward Cori.

I try to defend my name, but the woman threatens me with security, so I turn to Cori instead.

“I’m sorry I overreacted. I wasn’t expecting that news, but I’ll be waiting for you outside.” I leave on the verge of tears, feeling like a complete asshole because one baby will be hard, but two might actually ruin Cori’s life.

Cori’s POV

My reaction really had nothing to do with Ashton, but when the man raised his voice, I instinctively felt the need to protect myself.

I didn’t mean to get him kicked out of the room, nor did I mean to give my doctor the wrong impression.

After hearing what I had to say, she invites the man back in, but the mood has been soured, so he and I don’t really have much to say to each other.

“Mr. Lewis, are you aware of Cori’s background?”

“Unfortunately.”

“This news may be shocking to you both, but try not to scare her too much; it’s not good for the babies.” Hearing that makes my heart spasm because I don’t know how I’m going to deal with twins. “Cori, you know that this changes things with our birthing plan, right?” I nod, feeling all sorts of guilt as I do. “You’re nearly ten pounds underweight, but the babies are okay for now. We’ll refer you to a nutritionist, and you’ll have to come back every two weeks. I won’t feel comfortable until your weight has improved, and I get normal measurements.”

“Are the babies malnourished?”

“Mr. Lewis, it doesn’t work like that, but I understand what you're asking. Both babies are on the low side of normal, but since mom's weight isn’t where it needs to be, I don’t feel comfortable not seeing her for another two months.”

“Please, whatever it costs, just make sure they are all okay.” I wasn’t expecting Ashton to say anything, nor did I expect him to actually pay attention to the scan.

I know that he’s been reading parenting books, so like me, he probably read the section about complications that can develop in utero.

“Okay, now let's get into the fun part of this appointment. This is Twin A’s face.” Ashton is silently rubbing his temples as the technician tells him what he’s looking at. “And this is Twin B.”

I’m so detached from the experience that I can’t enjoy it, and truthfully, I just want to run away.