The Love of Lies

Vicariously

Cori's POV

Happiness: that's a word I never associated with myself, but to Ashton that's what I am. So, when his friend finally returned with his phone, when they drunkenly ate on the hood of the car, and when they mocked one another for being "wasted," I just stayed silent, internally glowing from the feeling of appreciation.

Clarence is coming back to the house so that I don't have to do any extra driving, not that I would mind, but Ashton is adamant on making sure I'm not too tired.

He's sobered up quite a bit, and the realization that he just called his pregnant girlfriend out to pick him up is making him feel like a jerk, no matter how I try to coax him.

"If you're really sorry, you won't let me catch you flirting again." I'm teasing the man, already having been told by Clarence that Ashton was now 'the worst' wingman thanks to me.

"Deal," Ashton says, leaning over to kiss my cheek because he knows I can't stand to kiss him with alcohol on his breath.

We get back to the house and I help Ashton shower, well, as much as I possibly can, after he made sure that Clarence was okay in the guest room.

"Are you in the mood?" Ashton asks, but I'm not, so I slowly shake my head.

"Maybe tomorrow night?" Ashton agrees and makes himself comfortable. resting a loving hand on my belly.

“They giving you trouble?”

“A little,” I admit. The man leans forward, talking to my belly as though the babies can actually hear him.

“Do daddy a favor and let mommy rest.” My heart is so full that it could burst, and when Ashton makes himself comfortable again, I can’t help but to snuggle closer to him.

Ashton’s POV

I woke up to an empty bed, but unlike how it used to be, I don’t panic. I know Cori is around somewhere, and when I get into the kitchen, I can’t help but to smile.

“You’re awake,” we say at the same time, making the woman pout because she knows I’m making fun of her.

“Do I really greet you the same way all the time?”

“Yeah, but I like it.” I get closer, peering over the woman’s shoulder to see what she’s making. “Mmm, pancakes.” Cori is a really good cook, so I’m never disappointed by what she makes, and pancakes are exactly what I need right now.

“Did you have fun?”

“I did, and the highlight was when my beautiful girlfriend showed up to save me from a bad influence.” Cori chuckles, and thinking about the ‘bad influence,’ I tell the woman that I’m going to check on him. Last thing I want is to find him in a pool of his own vomit, but he drank enough for it to be possible.

“Wake the hell up, you stink.” Clarence barely opens his eyes, so I use my foot to push him off the bed.

“What the f*ck, bro? What time is it?”

“Shower quickly. I’ll bring you something to wear. Cori’s almost done with breakfast.” I don’t want to wait to eat, and although what I did could be considered rude to most, that’s just the way we’ve always treated one another.

“Don’t rub your ‘happiness’ in my face anymore, I’m suffering enough.” The smile I was wearing fades as I realize that Clarence is really heartbroken.

I leave to give him privacy, and when I return, I drop clothes and a towel in the restroom, careful not to make too much noise because it sounds like he’s sniffling.

I can’t imagine myself in his shoes, but when I try, it’s always Cori saying yes to another man’s proposal, and it hurts to even just think about it.

“Why do you look so sad?” Cori’s already made sausages, but because she hates when I take food early, I simply sit at the kitchen island and wait, ignoring my rumbling stomach.

“Clarence is in a bad place right now.” I explain the issue in detail, not expecting the man to overhear us as he enters the kitchen.

“Don’t forget that you gave me the advice that made her break up with me.” I cringe, remembering exactly what I said.

At the time, I was ‘dating’ Vanessa, and he wanted to know how to make his own girlfriend as passive as she was whenever I went out, and the advice I gave was more of a cover than anything else.

He took my words literally, told the woman that if she ‘didn’t like it, she could leave’ and, she did just that.

“You could have phrased it differently,” I reply, listening to the man fill Cori in where I left off. “I was just talking.”

“Yes, and now, I get to watch the woman I love marry someone else."

Conversation stalls and sensing that Clarence needs a pick me up, Cori slides him a delicious looking plate, a glass of fresh pressed orange juice, and a cup of black coffee.

I know the plate was meant for me, but when I look up, she’s wearing a sympathetic expression, basically asking me to forgive her with her eyes.

"This looks great," the man says, biting into the dish before his nostrils flare and he looks over at me in irritation.

I can't even make eye contact because I can read his expression. I accidentally got a really good catch, while he gets to watch his fish swim away.

Again, conversation goes back to the man's ex, and he asks Cori for her opinion.

"I don't really feel comfortable giving you advice. Ashton is the only boyfriend I've ever had." I'm proud of my girl for her response, but Clarence isn't taking no for an answer.

"That's even better. I was also her first everything. So maybe you can tell me something from her perspective." Cori looks uneasy, but sensing that Clarence 'needs' her input, she somewhat caves.

"Let me ask you this, if you could, would you marry her right now?" Clarence's entire expression changes, and the answer is clear. "You said that you were with her for over two years, and she ‘just walked away,’ however, she's only been with her fiancé for ten months, and he's already seen her worth. It's actually selfish of you to expect her to wait for something that might never happen."

“It’s not that I’ll never marry her. It’s just… What if she's no longer the woman she used to be?”

“Do you think getting married freezes a person in place?” Cori just set a plate in front of me, but I’m too focused on what she’s saying to earnestly dig in. “People continuously change. I’m not the same person Ashton met, and he’s not the same man I met, but that doesn’t make me like him any less.”

I really shouldn't compare my situation to my friends, but Cori's words made me feel like she was indirectly warning me.

I like her for who she is now, but will I like who she is after she gives birth? Likewise, I could try to keep her around until I'm ready to settle down, but I never considered the possibility of her choosing not to wait for me.

“Cori… I hate you,” Clarence says, picking up his glass of orange juice. He takes a deep drink and shakes his head before turning to me again. “Is this fresh?”

“She likes to make her own juice,” I reply, already guessing how the man feels because when I first tasted Cori’s cooking, I was livid because I really enjoyed it.

“Cori, I changed my mind; I loathe you.” The woman says nothing, knowing that Clarence is just joking.

He’s hurt, doesn’t have a response for her rebuke, and is clearly just seeing things in a light that makes sense to even me.

“I know that you said you hate me, but I just want to remind you that you're still young. You can learn from this mistake.”

“I just don’t want to.”

“Then learn to enjoy being single forever.”

“You witch.” Cori chuckles, but quickly tries to stifle it. Clarence is among my more playful friends, and I’ve told her enough stories about him for her to know that, so she’s not offended.

I finally get to focus on my meal, expecting Cori to sit with us, but she goes to eat in a different part of the house, likely to give us privacy.

“She’s really sweet, isn’t she?” I nod at my friend, not wanting to brag because he may not be able to take it. “What are your plans for the future?”

“I don’t have any,” I admit, hating that apart from renovating my office-turned-closet space into a nursery, I haven’t really put much thought into the future.

“Well, whatever you decide, just make sure that you don’t ruin what you have. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Like what?” I question, almost positive that I can guess for myself, but still needing and wanting to hear it.

“Content,” Clarence replies.

Cori’s POV

I’ve been getting headaches lately, and because of it, I have been wearing my hair down, much to Ashton's pleasure. He was mad at me at first, remembering that my hair was down when I came to pick him up from the lounge last weekend, but I assured him that my headache started much earlier in the week.

“Do we have to see a doctor about it?”

“Maybe,” I reply, but truthfully, I think I’m just stressed.

“When did they start?”

“When your mother started showing me virtual walkthroughs of party halls for the baby shower.” I was expecting Ashton to laugh, but he picks up my phone and looks at my text thread with his mother, frowning as he does.

“I’m calling her,” he says, but I don’t want to seem ungrateful.

Ashton’s mother is really excited about having a granddaughter, and I’m starting to realize that she’s vicariously living through me. Unfortunately, I’m not big on any of the themes she’s sending me because, not only are they too grand, but all I can think about is the waste of money.

“Please don’t. She’s so happy.”

“But Cori, you’re clearly stressed out about it.” Ignoring me, Ashton calls his mother, making me feel super uncomfortable when the woman, and her very tired looking husband, come over holding what I can only assume are more party options for me to look over.

This is the first time Ashton is getting to see what’s been happening regularly, and I’m shocked by his reaction.

“Mom, we aren’t having a baby shower.”

“What do you mean? Of course we are. The twins are our first grandchildren. Your father and I want to celebrate this moment.”

“But at what cost?” Ashton says, noticing that I’m rubbing my temples.

He points to me, and his mother finally realizes that I’m more than uninterested in a baby shower, I’m dreading it.

“Cori dear, are you really that against a shower?”

“I just… Mrs. Meredith, I love the idea of a baby shower, but not at the scale you're suggesting.”

“Okay, tell me what you want.” Ashton nudges my arm, encouraging me to speak.

“Well, my birthday is coming up, and Jules is planning a pool party for me since it’s still warm out. I was wondering if we could just merge the celebrations.” Mrs. Meredith looks disappointed, but this goes beyond a baby shower for me.

I’m not where I want to be, and I feel like celebrating the accidental arrival of my twins will just rub that in my face. Maybe I’ll feel better about it later, but right now, my heart just isn’t in it.

“Cori, can we come to a middle ground?” The woman counters, offering me a smaller, more intimate option in their community clubhouse. “Less than forty people.”

“Okay,” I whisper, hoping that I can cope.