THE JOURNEY OF SHEIRA HART

4 | The Rainbow of Dreams

I walked away from the park, not bothering to hide the grimace on my face. Let them see how disapproved I am and hopefully, they’ll send me back. I suddenly wondered if the dead could die again as I was so tempted to snap Mikhael di Angelo's neck earlier. I heaved a frustrated sigh as I looked around and there's no sign of the café. But I continued to walk, slowly getting used to the sight of people from different eras mingling together. It was actually a pretty nice sight. I wondered what they were talking about. Could they still remember their favorite music was when they were still alive? Their favorite actor? Is there actually someone here who was alive during the world war? Could they still remember what happened during the war? Probably not. If it was the reason how they died, they probably don't remember it.

I sighed and looked far ahead of where I could see a road. The trees-filled with orange and yellow leaves bordered it. The leaves fell and coated the stoned pathway. It was a pretty view, something I would definitely take a picture of and post on i********: if I was still alive. But I wasn’t. And I don’t have a phone. So I’ll just capture it with my eyes and make a mental caption of it.

All of it was still so...surreal. I didn't really pay attention to the afterlife when I was still living. I didn't really think about what happens after I die. I just thought that if you die, that's it. There's nothing more after that. When you die, I didn't think that my soul could be somewhere like this place. I thought one would just rot several feet underground and when there's nothing more left, then that's it.

I didn't think a place like this existed until several minutes ago. I didn't think the Grim reaper was real until I saw him up close. It was still too unbelievable and maybe what Mr. Grim said was right. That I was still in denial of everything. That I still couldn't believe that I had...died.

"Miss Sheira," someone called. I turned to see who it was and it was Raph, the part-timer. I heaved a sigh of relief as I saw him walking towards me. "I apologize I took too long to come and get you," he said and I just shrugged.

"Well, I get to look around the place," I answered just to make him feel less burdened. He just gave me a warm smile. I suddenly wondered how he died and before I could even stop myself, I asked, "Do you still remember how you died?"

His smile disappeared but his eyes were warm as he looked at me. He looked like he was expecting me to ask that question. And he looked like he's hesitating to answer the question or not but he prepared an answer anyway. He inserted his hands inside the pocket of his navy blue coat. "I don't," he merely answered. I gave him a dubious look but he just ignored me and started walking. I followed him.

"I didn't need to know," he answered and it was as if he was also saying it was the end of the conversation so I didn't ask another question. We walked down the road silently until we reached another bridge. Unlike the one I saw earlier where the Arbor is located, the bridge was narrow. And when I decided to look down below, I hitched my breath. The water below was probably the bluest water I've ever seen. But it wasn't the only amazing thing there.

A curtain of light expanded across the river bearing the colors of the rainbow. And it was too close. Too close that I could even touch it. And when I did, it felt like I was touching grains of sand. Colorful dust remained on my fingers and I couldn't help but marvel at it.

"Is this a real rainbow?"

"If that's what you call it." Raph smiled.

"Then what do you call this here?"

"Dreams." I looked at the rainbow with its colorful dusts flowing freely like a waterfall. I marveled at the colorful rainbow of dust as it fell from the gaps of my fingers.

"What is this for?" I looked at him and he was looking at the rainbow too. I don't know where the dust came from but they sure look majestic.

"The rainbow of dreams." He stepped beside me and reached for the dust too. "But they say if you bring a portion of this dust to the living world, you will always find your way home."

I highly doubt it but I didn’t say anything about it. And he looked like he doesn’t believe it too.

"Are there a lot of souls who weren't able to return home?"

Raph was silent for a moment before he nodded. "As far as I know, yes. But they also say the moment they find the reason how they died, they get rebirthed. Maybe that's why they weren't able to return here."

"What if they failed to do what they needed to do in the living world, they just come back here?"

But Raph just shook his head as he braced his elbows on the railings. "Most souls, the moment they decide to go to the living world, find it hard to go back here. So they just wander in that world until they're forgotten and eventually disappear."

"Where do they go?" I asked as I stared at him.

Raph just gave him a smile before he said, "No one knows. I don't know if Mr. Grim knows but if he does, he's not inclined to share it. He's quite uptight."

I chuckled at his remark. "That I can agree."

"Do you want to know how you died?" Raph asked and he stared back at the rainbow and reached for the colorful dust again.

"I don't know. Something just urges me to do so."

"Do you think it's worth it?" he asked, causing me to look at him. He was looking far ahead and I could tell he's thinking about something. Whatever it was, it looked like some kind of distant memory he holds dear. The look in his eyes tells me so.

"If it means I'll be seeing my family once again then I think it will be worth it."

"Even if means you won't be able to come back here and just...disappear?"

"I won't disappear," I said confidently and looked at him. "I know my family remembers me. As long as they have me in their hearts, that's enough."

He went silent and just stared at the blue water below. I did the same. I don't know what time it was and the sky looked exactly the same as how it looked several minutes ago.

"You don't have evenings here?" I asked to break the silence and also because of curiosity.

The question seemed to have pulled him from his thoughts that he blinked before he looked at me. "Sorry?"

"Evenings. Do you have evenings here?" I repeated.

He just let out a small laugh before he stood straight and started walking. I walked beside him. "Of course," he said and inserted his hands again in his pockets.

"But --" I stopped before I could even continue what I was going to say. I was about to say it doesn't make sense but then I realized everything didn't make sense ever since I woke up. Evening in the afterlife should be something I should not think too much about. So I just zipped my mouth and walked silently beside Raph.

The walk was silent. It was a comfortable silence though. I was busy looking around, marveling at the things I could see around.

"Do babies remain babies forever?" I asked as I was looking at a baby carried by a woman. I could feel Raph looking at the baby too.

"No, they don't," he answered and we continued walking. Raph is kind and someone warm, I could tell. He's someone suited to work at the receiving desk. Someone who would greet the customers with a very charming smile that could just relieve your stress. I wonder if the dead would feel the same after they’re greeted with Raph after knowing that they’re dead.

I didn't notice we arrived at the cafe several minutes later and I realized I should have remembered the way. But I figured I could do it next time.

The cafe was still packed the moment we entered and there was someone working at the counter. I saw Raph get inside a room that leads to Mr. Grim's office.

The moment I saw Mr. Grim, all the things I wanted to say disappeared. He had his back on us as he stared outside the window. It was when Raph cleared his throat that he faced us. His solemn face was still there and I knew instantly it's about the girl he took earlier. I wonder who she was.

Not knowing what to say, I just said the first thing that popped inside my mind. "How does one apply for a job here?"

I saw how Raph's head whipped to look at me but my stare remained at Mr. Grim who wasn't even fazed by the sudden question.

"You're not qualified," he merely said and sat on his chair. I furrowed my brows. His face looked like he doesn't want to discuss anything about it but I didn't care. I have to know.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so. I can't have someone working in here while thinking about going to the other side."

"How do you know I want to go to the other side?"

"Your denial about your death is so strong I could almost taste it."

"So it's alright for me to go to the other side?"

Mr. Grim looked up and met my gaze. "It is. But you have to know the conditions first."

"What conditions?"

Mr. Grim braced his arms on his table and looked at me. His long silver hair swayed with that little movement. I stared back at him.

"One is that you have to bring someone with you if you want to go to the other side," he said. I groaned inwardly as I'd have to deal with the hassle of finding someone to go with me. And as what I've seen so far, none of the people here aren't inclined to go to the other side much less go with another soul to help her find out the reason of her death.

"You have a time limit. If you didn't manage to do what you needed to do, it'll be hard for you and your companion to go back here. You may end up as wandering souls until you disappear. But that rarely happens. Most souls usually finish the journey in advance."

I swallowed hard. That was what Raph was saying earlier but he didn't tell me about the time limit. "If I find the reason why I died, will I be rebirthed?"

The moment I asked the question, his stare was sharp that my knees almost buckled. But he just said, "Who knows?"

Those two words tell me I shouldn't ask anything more about it so I said, "How much is the time limit?"

"You will be given a device to track the time. If it reaches zero, then you're time is up."

I bit my lip and remembered what Raph had said earlier. Will it be worth it? Going to the other side, will it be worth it? Will I be able to discover how I died before the time limit? Will I be able to return? Or will I just...disappear like what they say?

I swallowed hard and heard the manager say, "Make your decision, Sheira. You can take your time. And you should find someone who would accompany you should you decide to do it."

It was the last thing the manager said before Raph and I went out of the room. I'm still weighing my decision. Do I really want to know how I died? Am I ready to know? Do I need to know?

Those questions bugged me even as I sat on a bench several meters away from the cafe, watching the people doing their business. It was when an old man sat beside me that I was pulled from my thought. I looked at him and he was smiling at me. I was about to open my mouth when he handed me a bar of chocolate.

I looked at it but he just extended his hand more, urging me to get the chocolate. I hesitantly took the bar of chocolate and gave him a small smile.

"That's my favorite," he said and I looked at it. I wasn't familiar with it probably because I don't chocolates much and of course, the chocolate probably existed a long time ago.

But I gave him my warmest smile and muttered my thank you before I opened it.

"I could see you're a new one," he started and I nodded before I took a bite.

"You want to go to the other side?" This time, I looked at him and he was still looking at the people in front of us, talking and doing their business.

"How do you know?" I asked. The chocolate was nothing special. I couldn't tell why it was his favorite.

"Every newlander does." He clasped my shoulder and continued, "Good luck."

I was about to open my mouth and ask him a question when he stood and walked away. I stared at the bar of chocolate and sighed. With conditions laid before me, it's hard to decide. But I feel like I want to. I need to.

And when I stood up to go back to the cafe, I saw Mikhael di Angelo standing a few meters away. I furrowed my brows as I saw him walking closer.

"I thought I told you I don't want to see you ever again?" I said the moment he was in front of me.

"Look," he said, reaching for my shoulders but I stepped away. "What happened earlier--I was being an asshole and I shouldn't have done that."

"Good. I'm glad you realized," I said and was about to walk past him when he stopped me.

"I'm sorry," he said and I gave him a dubious look. I looked around to see if there were any of his guy friends waiting for him to win the bet or something but there weren't any. My eyes went back to him and he looked expectant and sincere.

Then suddenly, I have decided.

I want to go to the other side.

"I'll accept that apology if you do something for me," I said and he straightened. This time, he's the one giving me a doubtful look.

But I just shrugged. "It's fine. We can just forget about it and not see each other again." I started walking but he stopped me yet again.

"Fine," he said, sighing. "What do I need to do?"

I gave him a saccharine smile before I said, "Go to the other side with me."

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