"There are two ways to break a person; you either let someone else shatter you, or you take control and do it yourself. I chose the latter—because at least then, I hold the pieces. I decide my own fate. And I'll be damned if I go down without a fight." — C. Winter
***
[Celeste]
I hummed the soft tune of "Silent Night" while counting pills and sorting medical supplies. My fingers worked automatically, but my mind drifted to the laughter and footsteps echoing outside.
Glancing out the frosted window, I spotted Alpha Rafael's children, both of which were laughing and shrieking in excitement as they ran around in the snow, their bright red scarves trailing behind.
My heart gave a painful tug as I watched them. Rafael. He had been everything to me once—a best friend, a confidant, the one who promised that he could never love another. At least not until his fated mate appeared. Seven years had passed since that day, seven years since I'd turned eighteen and failed to shift. It had marked me as wolfless, an omega, less than the others. An eyesore.
I was still staring blankly at the snow when a raven collided with the window. The impact caused it to loose some feathers and then it fell motionless into the snow. A bad omen.
"That's seven years of misfortune," a voice crackled behind me, filled with scorn. "But you're well into twenty-five, aren't you, girl?"
I didn't turn. I knew their faces, twisted in mockery, thin-lipped from decades of ageing. The older wolves never missed an opportunity to remind me of my place—the weakest omega, a wolfless orphan...a charity case. The other women cackled, and I forced myself to ignore them. I was used to it by now.
"Celeste, fetch me a bag of tea from the storage house and be quick about it!" one of the women said with a wave of her hand, as though shooing away a fly. I nodded, keeping a straight face.
Outside, the chill bit into me immediately. Unlike most of the pack, I hadn't earned the right to one of the thick wool coats, so I layered sweaters under a jacket, boots that pinched my toes, and two pairs of socks—all of which I’d gotten from the trash. My fingers were bare and freezing.
The main house, where the pack held meetings and gathered for big meals, was a few buildings away. I hurried through the biting cold, crossing the empty courtyard. The buses for the annual winter hunt were lined up and ready to depart, with strong, eager wolves loading supplies. My stomach twisted as I watched, knowing I'd never be a part of the hunting trip. I would only be a liability if I went.
I quickened my steps, ducking inside with a gasp of relief as I rubbed my hands together, breathing hot air over them. The colour returned to my cheeks as I walked towards the main kitchen. I was halfway there when I collided with a solid form. Hands gripped my shoulders, steadying me. I looked up, and there he was. Rafael.
He seemed carved from stone. Caramel eyes, short brown hair, tousled and moist, softening his serious look. He was broad-shouldered and hovering above 6'3. He looked just like the leader the pack needed and I looked nothing like the Luna that would stand by his side.
"Sorry," I muttered, ducking my head and trying to slip past him. The last thing I wanted was to linger in his gaze, where I only ever saw sympathy, never the love I once believed could have been mine.
I turned away and hurried to the storage room in the back, bracing myself against the old, familiar ache that stirred whenever he got too close. I forced my mind to remember how he hurt me, his lies...how he broke me. Just as I reached up to grab the tea bags, I heard the door creak open, then that soft clearing of his throat. "Cici?"
His voice was low and almost...sad. I froze, my heart thudding. I gritted my teeth, forcing my hands steady as I continued rummaging through the shelves, desperate to avoid looking at him. This man was my weakness.
"You can't keep avoiding me," he murmured, his voice so close that I could feel his breath on my neck.
I didn't turn around, keeping my gaze firmly on the boxes above. I had avoided him for years, ever since he'd stood before the pack and declared his undying love for Elise, his fated mate. The same words he once whispered to me, telling me I was his world. It had left me hollow.
He moved closer, and his warmth seeped into me. His presence was overwhelming, drawing out the ache I fought to bury every day alongside a burning anger. "Cici, please," he whispered. His hands came to rest on my shoulders, "I never meant to hurt you."
I felt his hand drift, tracing down my arm, lingering as if he wanted to remember the shape of me. "It was the goddess's decision that we weren't meant to be."
My heart ached painfully, but I remained stiff, cold—just like the woman he'd forced me to be. "Rafael," I spoke coldly, "your children are looking for you."
He didn't let go. "I wanted to tell you—about Elise. About everything. I—"
"Seven years, Rafael," I interrupted, barely keeping my voice steady. "Seven years have passed. I know you better than anyone. Did you have a fight with Elise?" I turned to face him, my expression twisting into disgust. He only ever remembered I existed when he got into a scuffle with his Luna.
In a breath, his fingers curled around my neck, slamming my back against the wall as he huffed. "Stop playing the damn victim! Did you truly expect me to reject my fated mate for a wastrel, a wolfless omega? A woman who can't even shift, who's practically human?"
Those words stung. Rafael was the only person who could still wound me with words. But I wouldn't let him see me break. My throat ached as I fought back tears, keeping my gaze defiant.
"Leave the pack while you still have some pride." He demanded, dropping his arms and stepping back. "You'd fit in better with humans. You could start a new life there. You're not one of us, father knew this when he let you stay. Hmph!" He turned sharply, his shoulders tense, his gaze cold. "What an eyesore," he muttered as he walked out.
The storage room door clicked shut, and I collapsed against the wall, my heart breaking anew, silent tears slipping down my cheeks. His father, the late Alpha had found me as a child in the woods and taken me in despite being unsure whether I was fully a wolf. They found me half buried in the snow and a few minutes away from death's door. Hence, I was given the last name—Winter.
I could leave, perhaps. But where would I go? The world outside was foreign, dangerous. And I... was powerless. All I had ever wanted was to be loved, to be part of something greater than myself. But it seemed even that was a dream I would never realize.
I quickly wiped my eyes, pushing it all to the back of my mind. Plainly speaking, I was better off as a servant in the pack lands than a beggar out there.
By the time I returned to the common room, the buses were gone. It was a five day hunting trip and those of us left behind were deemed too old or too weak to join.
The atmosphere was quiet without the usual hustle and bustle. I headed to the laundry, hoping the work would numb my mind. But as the evening wore on, a sudden, piercing sound shattered the silence.
Alarms.
Shouts erupted, cutting through the air, and my heart lurched as I dropped the cloth I was holding. The bells only meant one thing: we were under attack!
I raced outside, panicking as I took in the sight. Wolves moved swiftly across the snow, likely rogue mercenaries followed by men wielding weapons. Shots rang out, and I quivered as a bullet whizzed past, embedding itself in the wall behind me.
"Raiders!" someone screamed and chaos followed after that.