Reawakened: She's the Golden Quintessence

That seems a bit excessive

Hours later, it was nighttime and Blake and mom were sitting at the dining table having dinner in silence; with the house done and looking so homey it was like they had been living there for years.

"So, are you excited about your first day of school tomorrow?" mom smilingly asked.

"Not really," Blake answered, so tepid it was like she was at a funeral; a response that didn’t just dim mom’s light but put it out completely.

"Blake?"

"Mom what?"

"Would it kill you to be a little opened minded? Why do you always have to be so negative?" mom said drained, it was like living with the Grinch.

"But I really am not excited. What do you want me to do lie to you?"

"Gosh you know what, forget it," she said and just carried on eating.

"It's just another day.”

"Yes but it's another day at a new school."

"Yes where I have zero friends and will be referred to as the new girl for who knows how long,” Blake said. “What's so exciting about that?"

"A fresh new start, how about that?"

"Not good enough," she answered and carried on eating as mom just sighed and sipped on her wine.

"Blake . . . This has to work out."

"I know mom, I heard you the first time.”

"I know but I want to make sure you’re really hearing me. I want to make sure you know how serious this is,” mom said.

“I got it.”

“This has to work out honey or else it’s St. Bridget’s for you.”

“St. Bridget’s? What is that?” Blake asked wondering.

“It's a boarding school."

"Wow, you’re going to ship me off to boarding school?”

"I'm not going to do anything, whether you go there or not is entirely up to you," mom said.

“That seems a bit excessive.”

"No you fighting in school is excessive. You're even lucky I haven't shipped you off already."

"Wow, took you long enough," Blake said and continued eating as mom paused giving her a look.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you’re constantly trying to force things on me as an excuse to not deal with what’s going on between us."

"That is not true,” mom said.

"Yes it is. Every single time I wasn't in school I was at that stupid camp because you didn’t want me around. You didn’t want to have to look at me all the time and constantly be reminded of what a disappointment I am."

"Blake! How can you say that? That is not true.”

"Yes it is,” Blake said. “You were always sending me there so that I could change but I never changed because there was nothing wrong with me. And instead of you seeing it that way, you saw it as me being so wrong I was unchangeable. O.k. so I don't like to wear make-up, so I hate pink and don't like dresses, so I'd rather be in doors playing video games than outside making friends, so I love to wear my hair tied back and not let loose like I’m in a music video, so what? Just because I'm not like you doesn't mean I'm a bad kid."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to. You're always pointing out what's wrong with me."

"Because I want you to be better,” mom said.

"O.k. so make me better stop trying to make me like you,” Blake said as she stood up and stormed off.

“Blake get back here and finish your food."

"No, I'm not hungry anymore," she said and ran up the stairs as mom remained sighing in distress, continuing to beat herself up inside over how things between them just seemed to be getting worse. It was like taking two steps forward and five steps back; happy and laughing in one moment and then sad and miserable in the next, and it was so consuming. She was doing everything she could to try to break through the hard wall her daughter had built around herself but it stood so strong it was impossible to break. She was desperate to get through to her and show her that she loved her very much and only wanted what was best for her, but she had no idea how, and trying to figure it out was so overwhelming it pushed her to the point of wanting to give up.

Upstairs, Blake got into her room and slammed the door shut behind her, and went and threw herself onto her bed where she grabbed one of her pillows and screamed into it; wishing she could just take off and go to a far, far away place and never return because of how draining being misunderstood by her mother was. It was like she had no idea who she was and it was infuriating because she kept on trying to make her into something that she wasn’t, into a version of her, and it made her so hot under the collar she felt like she was going to explode. She just wanted to be given the freedom to be her true self but clearly, it was too much to ask.

Blake wasn’t like most girls. She was different and instead of embracing her uniqueness, her mother punished her for it. She was constantly comparing her to other girls her age and making her feel like she was less of a girl just because she didn’t look like them and it was a lot. She loved her mother very much and couldn’t even begin to imagine her life without her but hearing her go on and on about all the stuff about how she wished she was different was so depleting it drove her mad. It made her begin to resent being around her because she was bound to say something hurtful and so 99.999% of the time, she just wanted to be left alone.

The following day came and ready to leave, mom was standing by the front door waiting for Blake, looking bright and bubbly in a yellow dress and pink heels; with a white designer handbag hanging over her shoulder and a matching jacket hanging over her forearm.

"Blake let's go, it's my first day too and I don't want to be late!” she shouted, checking her emails on her phone. “Blake!”

"Oh my gosh relax I'm here," Blake said from the top of the stairs and started making her way down. She was wearing a black asymmetrical dress, a blue denim jacket and a pair of black biker ankle boots, with her hair tied back and her schoolbag hanging over her shoulder. Mom heard her coming down the stairs and lifted her head, and when she saw her, her face immediately lit up; she was actually wearing something she bought her and she looked so pretty. "Alright I'm here let's go."

"Oh my gosh sweetheart . . . You look so cute.”

“Whatever.”

“That dress looks perfect on you,” mom said glowing, but when she saw that Blake wasn’t giving back the same energy, she immediately toned it down. “But if you want to change and wear something else, I'm totally fine with it,” she then said, saying the words but not at all meaning them because she looked gorgeous and she wanted her to at least look like a girl for her first day of school.

"There's no time we're already late let's go," she said and walked out the door as mom remained smiling to herself for a little bit and then walked out after her, closing and locking the door behind her. Walking to the car, they then put their bags in the backseat and sat in the front, as mom then started the car and reversed it into the road, and drove off.