The Black Sun

Need for a bond

Outfit picking was one of the most boring and devastating actions Dora had to take when it came to attending parties. Though she didn’t mind attending parties and getting drunk: sneaking into the 18+ arena to have a taste of their hot vodka, but the idea of choosing an amazing outfit just to standout was often difficult for her. She loved to stand out and look approachable. She loved it when the guys would come to her and ask her in their masculine deep voice where she gets her beautiful feminine shape from.

As a 11 year old girl in the past, she always felt insecure about her shapeless body. She just…had no shape. Kenny had began to grow a rounded pointed ni**le enough to be grabbed by a child but she had nothing. Her chest was just flat. There was nothing there. Perhaps that was why she had the impression then that no boy would date her. They loved a nice shape and she had none. How stupid she was because she was wrong. The fact of having a nice beautiful shape hadn’t really helped in finding a sincere good boyfriend. Since she began growing hips and boobs, guys had approached her and had showed interest in dating her (as she wanted) but all they wanted was something s****l (never her plan). This upset her a lot.

Once she had agreed to date her crush in 6th grade. The guy really loved her a lot and called her beautiful each time they met. He would read to her all the lines from Shakespare and comment on her long silky hair. She would blush due to how special the compliments made her feel. Perhaps their relationship would have lasted longer if he showed interest in other areas of her life aside her looks. There was a time she tried discussing about her dad’s close attempt to poison her with curry powder which she was allergic to; the i***t hadn’t remembered a word she said concerning it the next day. He apologised and she forgave him like a good girlfriend would but that hadn’t changed anything. He was negligent towards her and had proven not to care about her life. The last straw drew when he had tried forcing himself on her. She would never forget that encounter no matter how hard life trip making her. She recalled him pouring her a drink, telling her he was celebrating their 1 month relationship. She loved the idea and accepted the drink thinking it was a good for them to have a toast. She swallowed the gulp of alcohol with no doubt. He was her love. Why would she doubt? He poured her another cup wiping something off his hands on his shirt. Should she have suspected? Perhaps she should have but she didn’t because she didn’t suspect a thing until she began to feel her eyes get blurry. Her head got foggy and she couldn’t think straight anymore. Then it occurred to her he had mixed something in her drink. She smiled and then laughed thinking it was just for fun. Her system wasn’t one that got drugged easily so with time the effect of the drug began to fade away and she began getting herself back together. Lawrence had showed two fingers asking her how many fingers he had shown. She could clearly see two. But, thinking it would be even more fun to play along and pretend she was still shaken by the drug, she lied she saw four. She recalled his grin.

“You want me?” He had asked her pulling himself closer to her and positioning his lips towards hers. She felt confused and pushed him off.

“We agreed we would get intimate after two months “ she reminded him feeling betrayed.

“Yes but it’s our second anniversary. It’s already two months” He tried confusing her unzipping his trousers. Her eyes widened in shock. Then it occurred to her what was actually going on. Lawrence thought she was still high and was trying to take advantage of her in that state. Men definitely were scum. Getting up and heading towards the exit was no use because Lawrence had pinned her to the sofa and began kissing her aggressively. She felt very irritated. Her hands trembled in anger. She felt rage in her. The kind of rage she often got when she was in an uncontrollable situation. Trying to defend herself, she pushed him off with all the strength she had and dashed out the door without looking back. When she arrived home and shut herself in the shower wondering what she had done, she realized she hadn’t just pushed Lawrence off her, she had flung him off her pushing him against the wall. Till now, she has no idea how she did that or why she did that but she knew she had actually gathered an inner strength out of no where.

She never saw Lawrence in school anymore nor did she date any other guy. She preferred to flirt with them and seduce them but never went out of her way in getting deflowered by any of them. They weren’t ones to be trusted and her experience with Lawrence had taught her that. Few days after that, she got a news from the principal that Lawrence had damaged his spine and wouldn’t be able to walk for long. When asked what happened to him, he couldn’t speak. According to the principal, he was still in a state of shock and had refused to say anything.

“The neighbour agreed there was a girl in his apartment that evening though. They saw her running out but could not catch sight of her face” The principal had further explained.

That was the last news she heard about Lawrence. No one spoke about him again nor did anyone suspect she had done such damage to him. She felt guilty, confused, devilish but she knew it was not her fault. She never blamed herself for this and never would.

Her hands finally ran over a white silky gown her mum had bought for her the previous month feeling the texture prick her soft palm. It was still a brand new dress she hadn’t worn yet thanks to her introverted spirit. She got it out of her wardrobe and placed it right in front of her before the mirror. Bravo! it looked perfect on her.

***

Walking down the stairs taking short steps, it came into her mind she needed to get some cherries for Kenny since the lady had earlier texted her requesting her for them. The tone she’d used in the text was not nice at all due to how desperate she was. Who would blame her when her dad purchases the best berries from the merchant. The fridge was located just few meters away from the cabinet in the kitchen. Though the 6 years old fridge already looked worn out and smelled like an old used dress from the 80’s, the compartments still worked well. At least it still performed its duty in chilling its guest in there if you prefer to ignore the annoying engine noise it made. Out of the fridge, she brought out a bowl of cherries and placed it on the counter before shutting the fridge. Across the kitchen was her dad’s favourite rocky chair which faced the window adjacent it. No information has been told to her on why he loved this rocking chair so much but had recalled seeing some old family photographs of a young lady sitting on the chair with a young boy on her lap. The family never spoke about her when she asks who the lady was. She could not get why. Each time her dad wasn’t on the chair or when she was alone in the big duplex built at the outskirts of town, she would imagine the young woman sitting on the chair and folding the baby on her laps. She would imagine her soft shaky hands caress the boy’s skin and her old inaudible voice singing him a song she hadn’t heard of before. Perhaps, lullaby. Her mind got zoned out in these thoughts that she hadn’t noticed her dad walk out from the back door into the sitting room. Just when he had banged his feet against the centre table, she noticed. They both shared a brief gaze for a while before he walked toward the book shelf and grabbed hold of one of his old history books. Was it a good idea to approach him and talk to him about the party? She thought. He doesn’t seem like her dad anymore because he scared her especially with the pistol her holds close to him all the time. There was often something fishy about the pistol that scares her…she couldn’t shake out that fear.

“Jennie is holding a short party in school. She invited me to attend” She finally spoke up not daring to leave the kitchen where she stood. Since the kitchen and the sitting room faced each other and had no room divider, her dad could easily stare back at her with his cat eyes and gaze with a despise look. He didn’t say a word to her. She turned back to the cherry. That was the exact response she expected. Wrapping it up, she made her way out of the kitchen toward the bag hanger to grab hold of her cross bag.

“Have you ever wondered if you were a vampire?” Her dad finally broke the silence between them. She didn’t like that question.

“Dad this has to stop!” She ragged out almost in tears. “I am tired of you ridiculing me this way…every single time. What is wrong in having a pale skin? You have tried all you could to prove to mum that I could be a vampire but nothing works. When will you ever let it go? When will you finally accept that I am a normal teenager getting really hurt and abused by the way you treat me?”

“Now I abuse you Dora! Now you will go out there telling everyone that I abuse you!” He bloated out swinging his gun around carelessly pointing it at her each time. Her heart almost stopped. She felt her instincts prick her. Her brain couldn’t stop the fear that sprung up in her each time the gun points at her. It was more like a natural fear she couldn’t control. This made no sense to her. Why would she be scared of the gun?

“Dad please put away the gun. You could hurt someone” She warned him hoping he calms down. Surprisingly her had put it back in his pocket without hesitating a bit. She sighed.

“You have no idea how much harm the vampires has caused to us Dora! The vampires originated from the bloodsucking witches who only strived human blood” She did not understand. “They are so dominative and wouldn’t let any location stay in peace. They bring havoc, disaster and bloodshed anywhere they go! They do not listen to the pleas of innocent civilians, They kill without thinking twice about it. They killed your grandmother Dora!”

Dora felt sympathetic now. The feeling of empathy struck her real hard as she gazed at the rocking chair finally understanding why her dad often sat on it all the time. It reminded him of his mother. The one the vampires killed. This made her feel hatred in her. She couldn’t understand why a creature would do that to an innocent old lady. Staring at the rocking chair, for a sprint of seconds she thought she had caught sight of the lady on it staring at her with evil blazing stare.

“I am so sorry to hear that father. They are gone now. They will cause no harm anymore. I promise” She promised her dad. She took some steps closer to him and held his hands in hers. He gazed into her eyes with teary eyes. He was trying so hard not to show he was just as emotional as she was. Realising he was becoming vulnerable towards her, he pulled his hands from hers and walked out of the building banging the door close behind him. Dora felt a little hurt he still hated her but the beautiful moment they had that afternoon made her day. They barely even had time for each other or gaze each other in the eyes at all. For the first time, she felt she actually did have a father.