Your Blush Is My Favorite

you made a home for me

taehyung remembers the exact moment he decided he was going to marry park jimin. 

he's known for years that one day, he was going to marry him. but he remembers the exact moment he promised himself he'd be that mans husband until death due them part. 

it wasn't more than two years ago, their junior year of college gradually coming to an end. 

there were two things in life park jimin put above anything else. kim taehyung and dance. 

so when he wasn't busy smiling fondly at taehyung's childish actions, whispering sweet nothings against the soft of his skin, sharing passionate kisses for no other reason than because he loved him limitlessly, he was dancing. he was dancing because, while taehyung would always be his first home, dance was his second. 

jimin hated nothing more than neglecting his homes. most mornings found him pressing a soft kiss to taehyung's temple, gently slipping from his embrace as he whined quietly for jimin to go back to sleep. he'd only smile, so in love and enraptured with his sleepy boyfriend and whisper, "go to sleep, taehyungie." 

taehyung's bleary eyes stared at him sleepily. he didn't ask why jimin woke up every day at 5am just to drive to his studio and dance. he didn't ask because it wasn't just dancing to jimin. it was his home. 

instead, he closed his heavy eyes and allowed his arms to slip away from jimin. his voice felt raw, slurred with sleep, "be home before 9?" jimin pressed another kiss to his temple. 

he was home at 8. 

they'd been laying in bed that night, bodies lazy and ready for sleep. still, they shared in quiet voices of simple things that came to mind. and when they ran out of the simple things, they were left in a comfortable silence. 

jimin was mindlessly soothing little circles onto taehyung's stomach when he heard his words echo in the dark room. "do you love dance more than me?" it was plain curiosity, jimin knew. not a question that's been lingering in his mind, not something he's been pondering over, just- curiosity. so instead of getting upset that maybe he hadn't shown taehyung how much he loved him, he silently guided his way into taehyung's lap. 

he watched as the youngers eyes opened once he cupped his cheeks. "stupid," he'd mumbled fondly, "you'll always be my favorite home." he painted a thousands words on taehyung's lips when he kissed his so softly. a promise. 

taehyung hadn't said it back, he never did. but when he leaned up for another kiss, he was positive it said everything he didn't. i love you, you're my favorite person, you're my home too. 

jimin had cupped his face again, rubbing the apple of his cheeks with his thumbs. "dance makes me feel so happy, taehyung." and he knew this. he knew how happy dance made jimin. "i feel so light when i'm dancing. i feel confident and so assured when i'm up on stage. dancing makes me feel safe." 

he sighed through a small smile, "but it also makes me feel insecure. sometimes i get so angry with dancing, i get so upset, that i can't be in the studio anymore. it feels like i'm being locked outside with no way back in." taehyung had opened his mouth, ready to spill praise after praise of how utterly amazing he thought jimin was, how beautiful he looked when dancing, but jimin had kissed him silent. 

"with you i feel so happy and loved. you make me feel so many things, taehyung-ah. i don't have to worry about things when i'm with you." jimin couldn't tell you his favorite thing about taehyung. he didn't know himself. but jimin could write a book, a series, of how much he loved taehyung. "i get angry and upset with you too. at rare times i feel locked outside." taehyung frowned deeply. "but then you're there, you're always there with our key in hand, ready to let me back inside." 

he pressed their forehead's together and closed his eyes. "you made a home for me."

it was the next day when jimin was trying to slip silently from his embrace, at the fragile hour of 5, that taehyung hadn't gone back to sleep. "can i come with you?" 

jimin's smiled so brightly his eyes had shaped into little moons. it was taehyung's favorite smile. it made him considerably less upset to be awake so early. so he smiled back, not nearly as wide and full of joy but just as lovingly. 

jimin had never said it and taehyung never asked but he knew why jimin woke up so early to dance. they started their days together and ended them together but the time they had in between was limited with their school and work schedule. the first time jimin had gotten up so early, taehyung thought nothing of it. it was the second week of him sneaking out of bed and coming home just before 9 o'clock covered in sweat while he woke taehyung up that made his heart swell. 

taehyung was a good dancer. not as talented as his boyfriend but he kept up well enough. although, he was sure jimin was doing something simpler for him. 

taehyung didn't feel like being a good dancer. instead, he settled for making jimin help him. little whines of how hard it was and 'my body doesn't move that way jiminie'. 

jimin was fond. 

taehyung would've felt at least a little bad for not letting his boyfriend practice as much as he usually did if it weren't for the fact he was laughing the whole time. even as taehyung had settled against the mirrors, choosing to watch jimin instead. 

he stopped mid choreo and covered his mouth with a squeaky laugh. "why do you keep looking at me like that?" 

taehyung had only smiled shyly, suddenly so bashful he'd been caught staring, and picked at a loose thread on his sweats. "i think you're amazing, jimin-ah." 

jimin smiled. he had smiled, so in love and enraptured with him. 

when taehyung ducked his head, jimin squatted down and tilted his head so he could meet taehyung's eyes. he had laughed softly when taehyung whined in embarrassment. "why are you so shy?" 

he pushed jimin's shoulder. "i'm not." jimin only cooed at him, making the pink against taehyung's cheeks spread. "go dance." 

and he did. he danced knowing taehyung's eyes followed him everywhere he went, watching the lines of his body as he moved. and maybe because he knew he was there, simply watching him, he danced like he was up on stage. like hundreds of eyes were watching, when really, it was just one pair that felt like millions. 

taehyung didn't know what song or routine jimin was dancing to, but it was clearly choreographed. he wouldn't have been surprised if he forgot taehyung was there. the song itself sounded emotional but jimin's body brought the story to life. he was so passionate, so connected with the song, taehyung thought he was amazing. 

and then he stopped. 

and the music kept playing. 

taehyung's breath caught in his throat as he stared at jimin's body. he was sitting just a few feet away, soft breaths escaping his lips while his chest gently rose up and down. and the music just kept playing. 

jimin's head was down, causing his hair to brush against the tips of his eyes. taehyung would've called him breathtaking if he felt like he could release the breath he was holding. 

but then he lifted his head and he stared at him with glossy eyes. "i messed up." taehyung should've moved, he should've comforted him. he should've said it was okay, everyone makes mistakes because he knew how jimin got. he knew how that mistake would linger in his head for days, not allowing him to sleep, leaving a trail of insecurities behind when it would finally leave his head. 

"i messed up at the beginning." jimin wiped his eyes even as no tears had yet to fall. "i messed up at the beginning and wished i had started over. i wanted to start over so i could show you the best me but i kept dancing. and then the c****x came and i looked over and you were just sitting there watching me." he licked his suddenly dry lips. "you were just watching me like i was the most entertaining thing in the world. and it's 6 am. it's 6 am and you're watching me dance even though you're not a morning person and i have to usually drag you out of bed." 

a pause, "i messed up at the beginning and was upset with myself that i couldn't show you my best self when you gave me the chance to show you something i love so much." he tapped his fingers against his clothed thigh. "and then i looked at you and you just made it all go away. i didn't feel upset that i didn't get to show you my best self. and then i started thinking about how you're the only person who can make me feel like that." 

"even when you're not trying, you can ground me so easily, taetae." he blinked the shimmer from his eyes and breathed out a soft sigh. a small smile stretched across the pink of his lips. "i think about you all the time. when i leave the house in the morning, i'm leaving something i love so wholeheartedly to do something i love just as much. i don't know how to put into words how it made me feel when you asked to come with me this morning." 

it was that exact moment that taehyung knew. when his smile stretched even wider, eyes curving into little moons he as spoke in breathy voice, "i'm so happy, taehyungie." 

it was then he made a mental promise and buried it in the back of his head for when they were ready. i'm going to marry this man. 

it was three months later when they were curled on up on the couch together that he told him. the movie they'd put on earlier was no more than background noise at this point. 

jimin's head was in taehyung's lap, a result of him throwing himself at taehyung earlier when he laughed too hard. taehyung had threaded his hand in his hair and he couldn't bring himself to move. "do you remember when we were freshmen and went to our first college party?" 

jimin snorted. "i remember drinking and the headache i had in the morning." 

taehyung's nose scrunched. "you threw up in my bed." it hadn't been all that bad. they were of course roommates, had put in the request months prior to moving in. they shared jimin's bed that night. 

"why?" he promoted, playing with taehyung's fingers. 

"i drank so much that night-"

"my little light weight." he cooed

earning him a tug of the hair. 

"i don't really remember anything either but i remember i was throwing up-" another snort, "and you sat with me the whole time even though you were like two seconds from throwing up too. you held my bangs back-"

"which i shouldn't have had to do but you stuck your whole f*****g head in the toilet." 

"and i just remember thinking 'f**k, i love him'. and then i just kept throwing up." 

"romantic." 

"and then after, you sat with me outside while we waited for namjoon-hyung to pick us up. you tried giving me a piece of gum you'd found on the ground, saying it would make me feel better." 

"i remember you ate it." 

taehyung bristled. "when we got back to the dorms i think i cried because you said i couldn't kiss you." jimin remembers it well. having to stare at taehyung, all teary eyed after so softly, so politely asking for a kiss and telling him no. he almost caved, almost. "you tucked me into bed after making me brush my teeth and then you kissed me." 

jimin smiled fondly, "and you turned to me, so sure of yourself and confident and said 'i think i'm going to marry you when we're older'." 

"you laughed at me and told me to go to sleep." 

"i don't remember that." 

"it haunts me to this day." 

"shut up, no it doesn't." jimin pinched his arm and taehyung laughed. "why did you just remember that?" 

taehyung hummed quietly. "i don't know," he admitted, "it's been on my mind recently. we'd been dating for two years but i was so sure i'd marry you. i didn't think the future would ever come but it's the future now. four years is a long time."  he softly patted jimin's head. "i promise i'm going to marry you one day." 

it took taehyung another year and a half to finally do it. 

taehyung walked into jimin's studio late one night, not something unusual for him. most nights found him picking jimin up once he finished teaching his classes. 

so jimin casually greeted him with a soft kiss to the lips and a promise to hurry. he was already changed out of his dance clothes, had exchanged them for a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized sweater. taehyung was sure it was his years ago. 

"jimin-ah." he tried not to cringe when his voice came out squeaky. he subtly cleared his throat, "i know you don't like surprises, you'd probably scold me once i was done if i surprised you, so i'll just tell you." he nervously picked at his slacks. "i don't know why i'm nervous, i have no reason to be

nervous. i know what you'll say. i've known what you'll say for years now and i shouldn't be nervous but i feel like i'm going to throw up and i just want to hide but curl up into your arms at the same time. does that make sense? that's okay, right? to not know what i-" 

"baby," jimin gently cupped his cheeks, interrupting his rambling, "that's fine. it's fine if you feel both of those things." he pressed their foreheads together. "you know you can tell me anything, tae. you know that, right?" a soft nod. "and you know if you don't tell me, i won't be mad, right?" 

he rubbed at the apples of his cheeks, making sure taehyung was looking at him. he made sure taehyung could see the assurance in his eyes, the understanding. "i won't be mad." his voice was just barely over a whisper, ever so gentle, but it was the firmest taehyung had heard, "i can wait." he pressed a warm kiss to his lips, so full of love and understanding. taehyung felt overwhelmed. "i can

wait, taehyung." 

taehyung willed his nerves to go away. they lingered in the pit of his stomach, churning dangerously but jimin's assurance held them down. "i don't want to wait, jiminie." he wrapped his hands around his boyfriends wrists, pulling them down. 

he continued to hold onto them. he tried to pass it off as just wanting to touch him but it was solely because jimin was his anchor. steadily keeping him in place when he couldn't do it all himself. so they did it together, and taehyung loved him for it. he loved that a simple thought of jimin could calm him down. 

he stared at their hands, unwilling to meet the heavy weight of his gaze, "i'm sorry for making you wait so long. i don't know why i did." he tried so hard, so hard, not to stumble over his words. "you've been my best friend for ten years, jiminie, but i'm still upset we didn't know each other as kids." 

jimin smiled at his subtle pout. thought back to all the times taehyung's expressed his feelings that they were born in the same year for a reason, a simple two months apart, just two days away from having separate birth years but still not meeting until later on. it was unfair he'd whine. "ten years right now seems like so long. it's overwhelming when you really think about it. sometimes i want to go back to when we were fourteen and i had to have my mom call yours so we could hang out." 

"but in the future, hopefully eighty years from now, ten years will seem like nothing. i'll probably look back on this moment and wish i had prepared my speech more with tannie before coming here." 

"and when we have our six kids we-"

"two kids." 

"and when we have our four kids and they're all grown up, we're going to wonder how ten years went by so fast." taehyung squeezed his hands, a reminder to himself that he was here, he was listening. "you're my favorite person. i think about it sometimes and it makes me feel guilty because i love you so much. i know i don't tell you as much as you tell me and i'm not as affectionate as you are and it makes me feel guilty because you're so special to me, jimin-ah." 

jimin squeezed back, gently guiding him out of a bad headspace. "i remember when i first told you that. you rubbed my back and told me it was okay that i wasn't as affectionate. that people show their love in different ways but no way means any less. i still sometimes feel bad, you're such a physically affectionate person and every now and then i feel like i'm not giving you want you want." he lips curled into a bashful smile. "but then you call me an i***t and i feel better. you always know what to say to make me feel better. whether it's nothing or everything, you always know the right thing to say." 

"you say the sweetest things, things i didn't think i'd ever hear from someone no matter how much they loved me." he seemed a bit shy now, smaller than before. "you call me your home." a pause. "you call me your home and i want to say it back, i go to say it back but then the words die on my tongue. the first time you told me that, i didn't know what to say. i still don't. i've never said it back because you're so much more than that." 

"i don't think there will ever be a word to describe what you are to me. maybe that's why i made you wait so long. i've waited so long to try and figure out what you are to me but i can't say it." jimin soothed his thumbs against his wrists softly. "but i feel it. i feel like you're the walls that keep me protected from everything bad, you're my roof, my floor, the old couch that we've had for years, the new coffee maker we just got, you're everything." 

his shoulders hunched shyly, voice soft, "i'm just trying to say you're my home too." 

jimin let go of his hands to wrap his arms around him. he embraced him tightly because that's what taehyung needed. he pressed his cheek to his chest and listened to his erratic heartbeat. "thank you." 

taehyung pulled back slightly, cheeks flushed pink. "it wasn't supposed to be like this." 

"i liked this way better." 

"you didn't even hear the original speech." 

"but this way was more you." taehyung felt his heart stutter when jimin flashed him the prettiest smile. so sure and loving. 

"i wanted to wait so we could pick out rings together." he bit his lip while hesitating. "that's okay, right?" 

his smile only widened "of course. that's a good idea taehyungie." 

he curled in on himself, even as jimin still held him. "so you will? it's a yes?" he asked quietly and jimin laughed. his eyes softened when he looked up at him. he looked like a kicked puppy. he almost cooed. almost. 

"i thought you already knew what i would say." 

"well i- you could still say it." he mumbled lowly. 

jimin pulled him closer, resting his chin on his shoulder. "of course i'll marry you, taetae. you're my best friend." 

taehyung closed his eyes and let himself be loved so limitlessly. "i wanted to do it here." with both of your homes. "i want to show you so much. in the future i want to have shown you so many new things like you've shown me." his arms hugged him a little tighter, fingers grabbing at his shoulders a little more firmly. a promise. "i want to show you you're my favorite home." 

jimin cupped his cheeks and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. it said anything and everything. "so show me." 

"i'll show you," he promised softly.