Chapter Three
“Anything you want”, Sir, I say to him after trying hard to move my body, my very stiff body that just keeps failing me as I try to gain control over it and confidence and he just shakes his head at me.
“This is really ridiculous,” he says, and this is my worst nightmare confirmed . This is precisely what happens every single time that I get a client. It is exactly what happens. And I really do not want to tell Gino the same story over and over again that his clients are unwilling to pay for dissatisfactory section that they did not ask for. He had asked that I'd be able to dance and you know, I had already offered me to him without actually making sure that I could dance. And this is the situation that I was in. Again, I had been in this situation several times already and I really did not like the fact that I was being sad of it again.
I start to move my body, running my hands all throughout my bare skin. After dropping out of my wrap dress, he is staring at my body and he starts biting his lips. Now there is a good sign. But then It absolutely appalled me, disgusted me to see him and looking at me like that. It made me want to shriek away from him and just run out of the room. But I would look around where I just had to pretend that I wanted him. I had to make sure that I keep up that smile on my face and make it seem like I am more interested than I actually am in being here right now. It was a secret.
That is what Jessica was always encouraging me to do, to just remember that I could act it out and not feel it at all. So I tried to faint desire. I tried to smirk at him, smile at him and give him desirous eyes, but something about his face was not exactly how I needed it to be. He just kept having a smile that was constantly fading.
“God damn it, you are so frustrating. Where did you learn how to dance huh?” He asks me and I finally stop dancing. “I'm so sorry. I just, you know, you are my first serious client and I really, I'm not sure how to act.”
“Well, you better start acting right before I kick you out,” he says. And his demeanor is just frightening me at this point. And I really feel like the fact that he has intimidated me is going to be enough to make me not want to continue with this. But I just have to keep going. I just have to make sure that I keep to what I'm doing. I try to continue going slowly and definitely making sure that I'm trying to be a little more appealing than I was in the 1st place, but it just ends up failing.
Soon enough it moves forward in his chair and just grabs my thigh. “Stop moving. Clearly you can’t do it. Moves are useless. I could honestly get more turned on by an old woman bending over to pick up dentures that fell out of her mouth” . He says to me. And I just feel something going through my heart. A little stab.
Yes. It's highly embarrassing that I could not get in tune with this. I was supposed to just get used to this. Some of the girls that had been in this had told me that they just started and they were actually doing much better than me. And I really, I really don't like the idea of being good for nothing right now. I really don't like the idea of not being able to get myself free from this debt that my mother had tied to me.
I just had to keep that in my mind. But even with that in my mind I could not be anything that they wanted me to be.
“Get on your knees.” . He says to me again and and of my head before slowly getting onto my knees. I knew exactly what he wanted me to do and I had never done it before. I'd never actually performed a blowjob and after watching several videos on how to do it, I knew that I had not grasp anything. Because the moment that he started fiddling with his pants and buckling his belt so rushed and hastily before finally pulling out his heart p***s for me to completely see and do something about with, I was definitely terrified.
Everything had slipped out of my mind. I was staring at it like it was an intimidating monster and that is precise not what he wanted to see.
“ What's wrong? You're a fancy little prostitute and you've never seen a d**k before in your life, is that what it is?” He asks and I just shake my head
“no, it's just so big and you see I had to stare at it for a moment”. I say to him, and that actually earns me a smirk from him.
“ I want you to take it all in”. He says to me and I just nod my head. I have to remember what Jessica was telling me countless times. What she was telling me the minute that I told her I had to be doing stuff like this against my own free will, against my own desire to actually do them in the first place. I tried to remember everything that she had told me. Hard to hold it, hard to move my mouth, but I really could not remember a single thing. All that I knew was the fact that I had not done this and that his p***s was in run of me and I really have no idea what to do with it. I hesitate for a second before just starting to go for it. I grab it and decide to go aggressive with it. Apparently that's how they liked it. But that earns me nothing but a loud groan before he Yanks my hair and eventually the wig falls off as he pulls my head away from him.
“ You f*****g b***h, you do that on purpose, you f*****g used your teeth on me!” . He says to me and my eyes just go wide and I'm shaking my head, hoping he does not actually believe that.