Well, I couldn't find a good enough excuse to get out of coming to the BBQ, so by Sunday evening, yes the last minute, I found myself in the nearest town shopping, something I used to love, but haven't had any interest in for a while.
Everything seemed foreign as I perused the shops, like I'd forgotten how it was done. The last sales girl wasn't much older than I in this one place, and she was super helpful.
She was all about body structure and what looked best on which frame, but I just needed a pair of jeans and some chucks, that's all.
Instead, I left the place with some dressy cargo pants in dark blue, a white sleeveless silk tee, and three inch spike heeled wrap around sandals. When I tried to argue that the shoes weren't suitable for a BBQ, Susan, the helpful shopper, told me the outfit wouldn't work with anything else.
So that's how I ended up at a BBQ packed with strangers, dressed like an i***t. Or at least that's how I felt before everyone started complimenting me on how great I looked, starting with my dad whose mouth had dropped open on first seeing me.
"Kat, you in there?"
That was his brilliant exclamation when I came down the stairs, and it had gone a long way to making me feel good.
He'd gushed and made me do the turning thing until I'd begged him to stop, and of course I still wasn't brave enough to drive to a strange place alone, so he offered to take me and pick me up afterward, cool.
When I first arrived I almost didn't get out of his cruiser. No one warned me it was a mansion, holy... Dad's flannels would've so been the wrong choice.
The place was huge, and gorgeous and...freaking spectacular. There was glass everywhere and spirals and turrets and flowers and birds and what the heck?
"Hi, chief, what you bring me?"
I looked around and saw what I thought was a little girl coming towards my dad, until I got a good look. She must be my age but she was tiny, like me, and she had the most infectious smile on her face.
"Hi, Carol, give us a hug."
She hugged him like they were long lost friends.
"Carol, this is my daughter Katarina, Kat, this is, Carol Lyon, your boss's sister."
She squealed loud enough to alert Washington, and I soon found myself in her arms as she hopped up and down.
"Heels, heels."
I tried to alert her to the fact that she was one step away from breaking my neck, but when I looked down her heels were higher than mine.
"Finally, we meet, I've been your surrogate sister while you were away."
"See you later, chief, we'll save you a plate."
"You'd better."
He got back in the cruiser shaking his head and smiling as the human dynamo dragged me away.
"Bye, dad, thanks for bringing me."
I waved him off as she chattered non stop, hopping from one topic to the next without taking a breath.
All I heard was 'we have got to do something about your hair', and the next thing I knew we were in a bathroom three times the size of my bedroom, my bun was loose, and she screamed loud enough to deafen ten people.
"All this hair and you did that to it, shame on you." She got out curling irons and hair spray and goop and went to work.
"Hi, I'm Katarina."
"Yeah, I know, we met already."
She looked at me like I'd hit my head.
"Yes but when, ten minutes ago, or ten years ago?"
"Oh, that, mom says I never met a stranger." She giggled as she attacked my hair with the hot iron.
When she was through with that she started in on my eyes. I don't know what smoky sexy meant, and wasn't sure I wanted to, but I must say, the end result was amazing.
I hardly recognized myself. My hair, after having been restrained for so long, was wild and free and dare I say, gorgeous. She'd done something that made my eyes look wider and dreamy, and I don't even want to think about it. All I kept thinking was I hope Colton will be here, and why wouldn't he, it was his family's BBQ after all.
I didn't stop to think why he was the first thought I had, or why I got so excited at the thought of him seeing me like this. I just knew I wanted him to.
We went outside and she dragged me off to a picnic table alone while she gabbed on and on about everything under the sun, girl was a talker.
Jared came by and said hi and gave my look a thumbs up, and he almost made me cry when he whispered welcome back Kat in my ear before heading off and leaving me with Carol.
"Shouldn't I go find your mom and introduce myself?"
"Oh she'll be out soon, she's primping. At least I hope that's what she's doing. Where's my dad?"
She got us some juice as she pointed out different people to me, most of whom I knew I wouldn't remember.
Suddenly I felt nervous butterflies in my stomach, and then I felt it, that heat on the back of my neck when someone is doing more than looking at me. Somehow I knew, before I turned, who it would be.
***
COLT
***
"f**k me..."
"Dude, you okay?"
Jared was giving me the beady eye like he thought I was about to keel over from heat stroke any minute, and I just might, but not from the heat of the sun.
"I'm going to kill you."
"Dude!" He backed up from me like I'd lost my mind. f*****g lemon my ass, he'd sold me a f*****g thoroughbred disguised as a nag. I should be happy, right, somehow I wasn't though. If she had all that going on, then why the f**k was she hiding under those butt ugly suits?
"Start talking Jared, and make it good, who the f**k is Katarina Sloane?" I gave him my signature glare to let him know I meant business. I wanted to know what the f**k was going on, and I wanted to know now.
First I needed one more look at her. f**k she was hot, and I noticed others noticing it too, f**k this.
"Later, we'll talk later." I left him dumbfounded as I headed towards her.
"Hi, Carol. Bye, Carol,... let's go."
"Colton..."
My sister yelled after me as I pulled Mata Hari behind me towards the house. We were going to need privacy for this.
***
ELENA
**
"Daniel, I've got a yard full of people out there waiting."
"They'll keep, get back here."
"What, again, what the heck doc you been smoking trees again?"
"It's legal, babe."
"I know, but the kids..."
"The kids, they've probably been smoking it while it was illegal. I mean your daughter talks a mile a minute without taking a breath and is always smiling. The oldest is two braids away from being a hippie, and have you seen your son, half the boy's body tells a story."
"Excuse me, but if I remember correctly, you were the one who said 'let the kids make their own way, let them be happy doing what they like'."
"I'm not complaining, I'm just saying, our kids are weed heads."
"They are not."
"How did we get off track? Bring that sexy ass over here. Aww my little girl still blushes."
"Stop it." He's so bad.
"I'm not sexy anymore, I'm getting old."
"Babe, are you serious, I've been looking at your ass for over thirty years, and it just keeps getting better, nice tight ass."
My face is on fire.
"Oh what the hell, make it quick."
It's not like I didn't know he likes seconds. My guy has never let me down in over thirty years.
"Hooyah, ride 'em cowgirl." He's such a freak.
***
Half an hour later I was relatively decent with a permanent smile on my face, so hopefully no one will know what I'd been up to, except my nosy kids. I'll just have to avoid them for a little bit.
"Char, when did you get here, and why didn't you call me?" My best friend was coming up the stairs as I was going down. Thank God I'd left Daniel in the shower when I did, crazy man.
"Just got here and no one seemed to know where you were, but then I noticed your hunka husband was missing and put two and two together. You two still make me sick."
"Jealous bitch."
We kissed cheeks and clasped elbows as we headed back down.
"So, remember I told you about the new receptionist at Lyon's Place, and how she met Colton the same day you said he'd meet his wife, well I invited her here today. I have no idea what she looks like, but she sounds sweet as pie. A little young, but what the heck, I got married when I was her age."
"Now Char, when you meet my new daughter in law, not one word about the wedding. You know how these kids are today, jittery about everything."
"Meanwhile you've already got the color scheme picked out eh, Elena."
"No, no, that's the girl's right, and I will not be my mother in law. I will let her have the wedding of Her dreams, but I do have the venue picked out." Char laughed her ass off. I know the perfect place.
***
KAT
***
"Where are we going in such a hurry?"
"You don't talk until we get out of sight of all these people."
Did he realize that he was more than a foot taller than me, and that his legs ate up more space than my stumps?
Wait a minute, why wasn't I screaming in fear? My heart was beating fast, yes, but not with fear only with excitement.
I looked at his forceful arms as he pulled me along behind him, his f**k awesome hair, and that lick of flames that climbed up the side of his neck.
Well damn, a nice pair of silk panties toasted.
I thought we were headed to the house, but he pulled me around the side out of sight of the others and pushed me up against the wall.
"What's this?"
Oi, he covered one of my breasts with his hand. I crossed my legs and started rubbing them together like a cricket. What! I couldn't help it, he was being all masterful and s**t.
"What the f**k, Sloane, what are you doing?"
"Nothing." I sounded like a strangled sheep.
What do you expect, I just came on myself and now he's doing that scowling face thing with his eyes glaring at me, and oh merciful heavens I'm going to combust.
"Air, air, I need air."
"Babe, seriously, we're outside, how much more air can you possibly need. Now stop f*****g around. What, is, this?"
"What's what?"
"The clothes, why the f**k you been coming to my place looking like Broom Hilda, when you're walking around with the body of a f*****g bombshell. You trying to f**k with my head?"
"No, no, absolutely not...if you could just... your hand." I pushed my breast harder into his hand, and he gave a little squeeze and then let go.
Nooooo.
"Sorry, s**t, didn't even realize I was doing that shit."
Well spare me your full attention for the next five minutes before you kill me.
"Now answer me, why the disguise?"
"It's not a disguise per se, I just... I'm not ready to talk about it."
"Talk about what, what's going on?"
"Sir, I just saidª"
"f**k it, I warned you."
That's all the warning I got before I was crushed against his chest, feet off the ground, and his junk right where it did the most good...for now.
His tongue was in my mouth, and those humongous hands of his had a hold of my ass and were kneading. I purred, he growled, I came.
"Eeeeeeeekk."
"f**k, Angel, I can't f**k you out here, too many people."
"Huh?" My head was foggy and my limbs felt like jelly.
Oh s**t, I was riding his ridge right here out in the open, for anyone to come along and see, and my hands were pulling fistfuls of his hair as I rubbed my heat against him.
Wow, way to break out of your shell Kat.
I climbed down off his pole and tried to fix myself.
I am in so much trouble.