The Arrangement

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

I don’t think that I have ever slept so well. When I open my eyes, I feel so rested, it’s an amazing feeling. Rich’s arms are still wrapped around my body and my head is still lying on his chest. I don’t move, I just lay completely still, I don’t want this moment to disappear.

The sun is shining through the window, lighting up the room in a cozy morning light. All I can feel is how I don’t want to ever get out of this bed. As soon as we leave the bed, reality will hit and I’m not ready for reality just yet. I just want to stay here. Though I am going to marry this man, so I will probably have a lifetime of this. But this first time felt very special.

I still feel like I have known Rich longer than I actually have, there is no way for me to explain it, but all feelings can’t be explained, something and some feelings, just is what it is.

Rich moves his head a little, but he hasn’t woken up yet and I don’t plan to wake him up, I’m going to lie here until he wakes up. This doesn’t feel weird, it feels natural somehow like this is the place for me to be. I don’t think this is my fathers doing either, he can’t make me feel these things I’m feeling. But it’s like I’ve met Rich in a dream or something, or in a past life. I don’t really believe in past lives, but maybe that’s what it is, maybe that’s why I can’t explain what I’m feeling. I don’t know, my mother believes in stuff like that, past lives, and such and once in a while, she seems to be able to plant a seed in my head. Maybe there’s something to it after all. I don’t want to speculate too much about that.

I wonder what life as a married couple will feel like. We have a connection yes, but will we fall in love? I really don’t know. I feel something for him, I get butterflies in my belly when I think of him, it even tingles between my legs sometimes when I’m around him or just thinks of him. That’s the part that scares me the most, I scare myself. Sometimes I am going to want the tingle to end, but I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. I haven’t thought about it for that long a time. My father has always told me that it’s not appropriate to have s*x outside of marriage, not only because I was going to marry Rich, but because there is so much more to s*x than the physical part, it can take an emotional toll, it can lead to unwanted pregnancies, STD’s and such. That’s why it better to wait. I haven’t always agreed with him, some ways protect yourself, teenagers all around the world have s*x, and not all of them become pregnant. I want to know what the big deal about s*x is. I want to know so badly sometimes.

Rich starts stirring again, this time he wakes up. His eyes open and he yawns. He looks down at me with a smile.

“Good morning”, he says with a smile.

“Good morning”, I say and look up at him.

“Did you sleep well?” Rich asks.

“I slept like a baby”, I say, feeling embarrassed.

“That’s great”, Rich says. “You fell asleep very fast last night”.

I did. I don’t know, I just felt like I was safe somehow, just another thing that’s hard to explain, no matter how much I want to. I want to understand it myself, but I don’t.

“Yeah”, I say. “Isn’t it weird though, we’ve only known each other for a few days now”.

“Not weird really, I mean we are getting married in six months, that’s fast, we are supposed to bond, everyone bonds in different ways”, Rich says. “This can be our way to bond if you want it to be”.

“You mean I get to sleep here tonight as well?” I ask.

“If you want to”, he says.

“Of course I want to”, I say feeling excited and longing until tonight. I sit up in the bed. “I’ve never actually slept in bed with a boy before or a man like yourself”.

“I take that as a compliment”, Rich says as he gets out of bed. He puts on a pair of soft pants.

“Are you working today?” I ask as I admire his perfect body. How is he so damn perfect? How is it possible to be so perfect? I feel like a wort in comparison, to be honest.

“I took the day off”, I say. “Dad understood, he knows that I want to spend time with you”.

“Oh wow, so I actually get you the whole day today?” I ask astonished.

Rich laughs. His laugh is dark and dark yet clear, it’s like a melody. Was he born perfect or is it something he has trained to be? Is anyone just born perfect? If that’s a possibility, it’s so unfair to those of us who are not born perfect. Life isn’t always fair, but I can at least say that my partner is perfect even if I am not. What are we even? Are we engaged, betrothed, or nothing? I mean I do have a ring, a gorgeous ring at that, so maybe we are engaged or betrothed, is it the same thing? I don’t know, and even though I don’t know, inte feels like we are more than engaged but less than married, I can’t quite put my finger on it.

“So what do you want to do today?” Rich asks.

I look out the window. “It’s beautiful outside, maybe you can show me Berlin today”, I suggested eagerly.

“Absolutely, you’ll love it”, Rich puts on a shirt. The show is now over and I feel a little disappointed. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see more tonight, don’t look so disappointed”.

Oh wow. It’s that obvious? Maybe it’s like a stamp on my forehead. How embarrassing.

“Sorry”, I say.

“Don’t apologize, Kitty, I’m all for you looking at my body, but I have to get downstairs and you have to get into your room and dress in something other than your robe”, Rich says. “Although you are hot in it”.

“You are funny”, I say. “I’m nowhere near got, my little sister, is though”.

“I’m not having that”, Rich says firmly. “You are hot, the end of the conversation, now slip into your room and get dressed, the sooner we eat breakfast, the sooner I can show you Berlin!”

“Okay okay”, I say and walk up to the door. I open it carefully and see that the coast is clear. I run into my room and closes the door behind me.

Am I smitten?

Yes. Of course, I am. What am I doing to myself?