More Than Just A Lover

“Get up, darating na sila kuya.” Nakapikit kong tinutulak si Ford palayo sa akin. Our naked bodies are still intertwined under the messy comforter and sheets of my bed. I liked the comfort and warmth his body brings but he needs to go. “Hmm.” He just groaned and pulled me closer to him. My back slammed into his cold body. I squirmed. “Ford isa!” Angil ko sa kanya. “Five minutes.” Groggy pa rin ang boses na sabi nya. “Hindi pwede. Please, go.” Nagtangka akong kumawala mula sa kanya pero hindi nya talaga ako binibitiwan. I pushed him again but to no avail. “Ford, I swear-“ “Fine. Fine. Tatayo na po.” He gave me a quick kiss on my shoulder and got up. I opened my eyes and saw his naked body as he stretched in front of me. “Another round before I go?” Nakangisi na tanong nya. Inirapan ko sya. “Mag isa ka. Umuwi ka na.” At tinalikuran ko sya. I’m still sore, for good. Iyon naman talaga ang reason kung bakit sya nandito, to warm my bed. I heard him chuckled. Isa isa nyang pinulot ang mga damit nya at isinuot ang mga iyon. He looked like a mess, but a beautiful one. Gusot ang polo nya, his buckles aren’t even perfectly secured, and then his hair looked like it just came from a hurricane. His scent stayed on my bed. Kasalukuyan ko iyon na linalanghap habang tinitingnan sya ayusin ang sarili nya sa harap ng tokador ko. When he’s all done, he walked towards me. “When are you leaving?” Sumupo sya sa gilid ng kama at nagsimulang isuot ang sapatos nya. “Sa susunod na araw. Sasabay na ako kila kuya.” I answered before I yawned. “Pati si Habagat? I thought he’d be managing the business here?” Umiling ako. “He will. Babalik lang sya next week.” Tumango sya. “I’ll see you there in four days.” “Oh. Wow. At may sarili kang schedule?” Taas kilay na sabi ko sa kanya. Kipkip ko ang comforter hanggang sa dibdib ko para itago ang kahubdan ko. “What? Binyagan natin ang bago kong flat.” Then he winked. “Pag iisipan ko.” Playful na sabi ko. Humarap sya sa akin at pinisil ang dalawang pisngi ko. “I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.” Tinabig ko ang kamay nya. “Baka may schedule ako nyan.” “Photoshoot? Meeting?” Nagsalubong ang kilay nya. Suot nya na ang mga sapatos nya pero hindi pa rin sya tumatayo. “Hindi ko sure. Ang alam ko meron.” “Hmm. Excuses.” He narrowed his eyes on me. I groaned. “Just go, Roswell. Sawa na ako sa mukha mo.” I rolled over and turned my back on him. Naramdaman ko na sumampa sya sa kama. He got an ample amount of my hair and softly yanked my head to turn into him. “I swear you’ll miss the feeling of my big c**k inside your sweet mouth and tight pussy.” Nakangisi na sabi nya. “And when you do, you know what to dial in your phone.” I felt the hot familiar feeling pooled on my stomach. He really knows just what to say and does to turn me on. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko at hindi ako nakasagot. “See you.” He gave me a quick peck on my cheek then he’s gone. My core’s kind of still sore from a few rounds with him all night. Two weeks kaming hindi nagkita because of our respective schedules, not that we keep track of each other’s whereabouts but when we both learned na nasa Isabela kami, hindi sya nag aksaya ng oras at pumunta. Lagpas isang oras ang byahe mula sa kanila sa Cauayan papunta sa amin and he doesn’t mind. Of course he doesn’t. I told him I’m alone and he knew what just to do. He gave me my first orgasm in the kitchen counter. Our helpers aren’t stay in, so from seven o’clock onwards, the house was desserted and he f****d me like it will be our last. Ashford Roswell is the best lover that I ever had. Not that I had a lot, but I had a few, and they don’t satisfy me like Ashford does. Never mind the fact na sya ang naka kuha ng virginity ko. And our past is the only thing from the past I don’t want to go back to. Ever. After fifteen minutes, kuya Argos and kuya Habagat arrived. I’m glad that I kicked Ashford out early. Mabuti rin na nakapagluto na ng pananghalian si Manang Seda dahil parang hindi kumain ng isang buong lingo ang kagutuman ng dalawa. Sumabay na ako sa kanila sa pagkain. We talked business as usual. Noong una ay wala akong balak na makisali sa business na gusto nila, but they wanted me to know the ropes too. Kaya paunti unti ay nakiki involve din ako. Seven years ago, namumuhay lang kami sa pagbubukid nila tatay, kuya Argos at kuya Habagat. Not that it’s a bad thing or what, but no one ever imagined we’ll be able to be blessed like this. Kahit kami mismo ay hindi naisip na magiging ganito ang buhay namin. Minsan namimiss ko rin yung pagkain naming magkakapatid sa maliit na hapag kainan sa bahay namin noon sa compound sa Hacienda Esquillo. Yung simpleng simple lang ang pamumuhay namin pero masaya kami. Not that we’re not happy now but I just like looking back at times. Naniniwala ako na magiging malinaw ang daan ng pupuntahan mo kung hindi ka natatakot lumingon sa pinanggalingan mo. And that’s exactly what my two older brothers think too. After nila kumain ay wala na silang oras na pinalampas. Nagpahinga lang sila ng ilang minuto at pumunta na sila sa bukid. Kakausapin daw nila ang ilang trabahador at kakamustahin ang mga tanim. Our land isn’t as big even the half as big as Hacienda Esquillo or any other haciendas around, pero proud ako sa maliit naming lupain dahil sipag at tyaga naming tatlo ang pinanggalingan nito. Wala kaming sinayang kahit piso, lahat ng mga kinita namin noon ay sinigurado namin na may patutunguhan. And it led us here. Bukod sa lupa namin dito sa Isabela ay may itinayo na business sila kuya Argos at kuya Habagat sa Manila. Ako naman ay active pa rin sa mga pag tanggap ng photoshoots at iba’t ibang projects at kapag wala akong mga schedule ay tumutulong ako kila kuya. That, or I’m screwing with the oldest of the Roswell siblings. Sinundo kami ng mag ina ni Kuya Argos; si Ate Via at Hyacinth sa airport. Si kuya Argos na ang nag drive ng sasakyan pauwi sa kanila. Ibinaba na lang namin si kuya Habagat sa flat nya. Madalas na kila kuya Argos ako tumutuloy kapag nandito ako sa Manila, although I have my own apartment. I stayed at their house for the night pero umalis na ako the next morning. Kelly, my on call assistant, reminded me na may interview ako para sa Preview Magazine today. Thirty minutes before call time ay nandoon na ako. “Ano’ng schedule ko bukas?” Tanong ko kay Kelly habang naglalakad na kami palabas sa building. Agad nyang inilabas ang ipad nya at tiningnan ang schedule ko. “You need to attend a ribbon cutting at ten. Sa Eastwood. Tapos guest judge ka sa isang beauty pageant sa Valenzuela. Alas siete naman ‘yon ng gabi so madaming time ka mag relax.” Tapos tinago nya rin agad sa malaking shoulder bag nya ang ipad. I nod. “Okay.” Luminga linga ako sa paligid. Kasalukuyan kaming naghihintay ng sasakyan from UBER. Hindi ako nagdadala ng sasakyan kapag madami akong schedule o lakad. I think that it’s impractical. Pati na rin ang pagkuha ng driver. Kelly can drive anyway, pero as much as possible ay hindi ko sya pinapa gawa ng workload outside her job description. Alas otso na ako nakauwi sa apartment ko. Pagkalabas ko ng shower ay nakita ko na may text message sa cellphone ko from Ashford. Roswell: What’s your sched tomorrow? Napangiti ako. Can’t get enough your hands off of me, huh? Hindi muna ako nagreply. Nagbihis muna ako. I was about to type my response when he called instead. “Very impatience, are we, Roswell?” Playful na sabi ko. “So talagang hindi ka nagreply?” He scowled. Tumawa ako. “I just got out of shower. Magrereply pa lang sana ako but then tumawag ka na.” “Are you still in your towel?” There’s a hint of naughtiness in his voice and it made me long for his touch. “Maybe.” He sighed. “Panira ka talaga lagi ng mood.” Tumawa ako ulit. “What’s your schedule tomorrow by the way?” “Ribbon cutting in the morning and pageant judge in the evening.” Sagot ko na lang. Mukhang anytime ay magta tantrums na si Ford. “Send me the location and I’ll fetch you tomorrow night.” Hearing what he said got me excited. I don’t need to ask him kung ano ang gagawin naming dahil alam na alam ko naman na. I immediately prepared my late dinner nang matapos ang usapan namin ni Ford. Kahit na sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko na kailangan na ako ang may upper hand sa kung ano mang meron kami, I sometimes can’t helped but to get weak lalo na kapag nagdidirty talk sya. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why he’s the best lover that I had. The past ones just can’t seem to arouse me before we f**k. While with Ford, iniisip ko pa lang, I get wet in a second. “Six months of f*****g, Ami. Kailan ka tumagal ng ganyan sa isang lalaki?” Pinanlalakihan ako ng mga mata ni Sari habang binubuga ang usok ng sigarilyo nya. “Kay Ford lang.” Mabilis na sagot ko. Napailing iling si Sari. My lifestyle isn’t as bad as it sounds like. I wasn’t a slut, I’m just open in my sexuality. Well, that’s what I kept on telling myself. I don’t do multiple partners at so far ay pangatlo pa lang naman si Ford sa mga nagging exclusive partners ko. I don’t do relationships and commitments. Na trauma ako sa pinaka unang relationship na napasukan ko when I was just eighteen. That was one of the lowest point of my life. “I think you really still have feelings for the guy.” Nabilaukan ako nang marinig ang sinabi nya. “O-of course not!” I protested, wiping my mouth. Tumawa sya. “First love never dies.” “Wow. Coming from you.” Sarcastic na sabi ko. Kuya Argos is Sari’s first love. Bago ko pa sya makilala, he already got the hots for my brother. At nalaman ko lang iyon sa kalagitnaan ng pagiging mag bestfriend namin. When they became an item, kahit alam ko na hindi pa rin nakaka move on si kuya Argos kay ate Via noon, I felt happy. Iniisip ko na baka naman magka chance talaga si Sari kay kuya? But the moment na bumalik sa buhay ni kuya si ate Via, I hated when he dropped Sari like a hot potato. Pero hindi ko rin naman masisisi si kuya. I knew how he loves ate Via. But it just feels wrong. Alam ko kung gaano nasaktan si Sari. Lagpas isang taon pa lang ang pangyayari but I can see that Sari’s healing. The first few months we’re messy. Hindi naman sya suicidal pero pumayat talaga sya dahil wala syang gana kumain. That’s what love brings you. A broken heart. It leaves you vulnerable, weak and there’s nothing you can do about it. And it’s exactly the same reason kung bakit ayoko ng commitment. Masakit. Mapait. At siguradong masasaktan ka. “Honey, unlike you, hindi ko tinatago na mahal ko pa rin ang kuya mo. Isa pa, lagpas isang taon pa lang naman since he dumped me.” Kibit balikat na sabi nya at humithit ulit sa esse’ na hawak na. Sari’s actually better in moving on than I did way back. But then, maybe, it’s because I was young and innocent back then. And I wish I wasn’t. Oh how I wish. “I’m not hiding anything. Wala na akong nararamdaman para sa kanya. Lust, maybe. But you can’t blame me. That guy has talents in bed aside from having a god given tool. You know what I mean.” Humalakhak si Sari. “Is he really that good?” “Yep.” Proud na sabi ko. “Fine. But I’m telling you, hindi ako naniniwala na naka move on ka na. One of these days, you’re going to tell me I’m right.” She even winked at me. I sighed. “You’re crazy.” “I just know you well.” Pagkatapos naming mag kape at mag catch up ni Sari ay nakipag kita ako kay Kelly sa Cubao. Mula doon ay nag UBER kami papunta naman sa Valenzuela. A few minutes before seven, we arrived at the place. “How’s my favourite girl?” Malapad ang ngiti na sinalubong ako ni Stan. He’s a councillor at that city and he’s the one who invited me aside from the reason na isa ang Flawless sa mga sponsor at endorser nila ako. He pulled me in for a hug and he kissed me on my cheeks. He’s still using the same perfume. “Better. How about you?” Nakangiti rin na sabi ko. “Doing good. Traffic ba?” Inakay nya ako papasok sa backstage ng venue. His hand is on my back at nakasunod si Kelly sa amin. Simpleng white summer dress na backless ang suot ko. Nakalugay lang ang buhok ko at nag suot lang ako ng pearl necklace at earrings. “Medyo.” Casual na sabi ko habang lumilinga linga at naghahanap ng ibang pamilyar na mukha. Imbes ay inilapit ni Stan ang mukha nya sa tenga ko at bumulong. “I’m free later if you are.” At mabilis rin na lumayo matapos luminga linga sa paligid. Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangisi. Stan’s actually my first s****l partner. He was the one who made me realize the wonders of being open to my sexuality. He’s good. Best, actually. But I had to let him go. Sabihin na natin na kung gaano kami ka compatible sa kama ay ganoon naman ang layo ng compatibility namin when we’re not horny for each other. He’s nice. A little naughty bit he’s just too nice. And passive. Maayos naman ang pagtatapos ng ‘relationship’ namin. It’s our little secret so it ended a secret too. Although sa ngayon ay alam na ni Sari. She’s my bestfriend afterall. “I already have a date.” Nakangisi na sabi ko. “Shoot. Who?” Taas kilay na tanong nya. Mabagal ang paglalakad namin. His hands are at his back but his attention is on me. “Hindi mo kilala.” Sabi ko na lang at tumingin sa harap. “So that’s why you’re glowing.” Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at tiningnan sya na kunot ang noo. “What are you talking about?” He chuckled. “I know you were seeing someone. You know how rumours go.” I shrugged my shoulders. “He’s just another you.” “At first, I thought it was. But seeing you like this? I don’t know, Ami. You even turned me down this time.” Playful na sabi nya. Not that I have been saying yes to all of his offers before, but every time na wala akong ‘exclusive partner’ ay kay Stan pa rin naman ako bumabalik. And the guy knows it. I glared at him. “You’re crazy. Stop babbling. I never remembered you to be this talkative.” “Fine.” Tumawa sya. “This way.” Sa huli ay sya na rin ang sumuko at ipinakilala ako sa ibang judges. Isa si Stan sa mga judge at magkatabi kami sa panel. We’ve been talking in between sets pero tinitingnan ko sya ng masama kapag inaasar nya ako by asking me to ditch my date that night and go home with him instead. Before they announce the winner, nakatanggap na ako ng text message from Ford na malapit na sya. I replied with a simple ‘OK’ since Stan’s been hovering at me whenever I am using my phone. Kami ni Stan ang nagbigay ng sash, trophy, bouquet and ang mga prize from the sponsors sa first runner up. When the pageant’s over, I texted Ford na palabas na ako. We can’t be seen in public, depende na lang kung invited kami sa iisang event, then we can. But situations like this, hindi pwede. I can’t risk people knowing who I was screwing this time. They can talk about me or spread rumours about me but they can’t know who. Roswell: Hurry up. I parked at the left side of the venue. Stan kept on insisting na ihahatid nya pa kami sa labas ni Kelly. “Stan, isa!” He chuckled. He’s enjoying annoying me! “Seriously. Bumalik ka na sa loob.” “What, you’re afraid that I’ll see your date? Hmm?” I sighed. Nauubusan na ako ng pasensya. I just want to go. Pinauna ko na sa labas si Kelly. Hihintayin nya na lang ako doon. And whenever sinusundo ako ni Ford, which rarely happens because I always say no, pinapasakay ko na muna ng UBER si Kelly. But we still have something to discuss kaya kailangan nya pa akong hintayin. And Stan’s purposely annoying me. He put his hands on his pocket. Stan’s dashing. He’s already in his mid thirties pero parang kaedad ko lang sya. I know a lot of women in the circle who wanted to be with him pero mukhang malayo pa sa isip nya ang mag asawa. “C’mon.” He nod and walked before me. Hindi ko sya sinundan. s**t. I don’t want him to see Ford. I don’t want anyone seeing Ford right now. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Salubong ang kilay na tanong ko sa kanya. I put my hands on my waist. I am getting serious. Instead ay tumawa na naman sya. “Shoot. Seryoso. Galit ka na? Na miss lang naman kita.” Lumapit sya ulit sa akin. Too close. I had to move back and look around us. Pero lumapit sya ulit. That’s when my eyes saw a figure standing a few meters from us. Si Ford. I’m screwed.