Seven Shades Of Alizeh

7. Unforgottable Past Mistakes

Alizeh's POV

I recalled everything from my past, my decision to keep Kiara with me even after my parents refused to be with me in my decision, I fought with them and gave birth to her. Only because of him.

His memories don't hurt me like before. I can say I have moved on from him. But my mum will never let me forget him completely. Like yesterday she will keep taunting me.

My relationship with my family took a not so good turn when I spilt the news of my pregnancy to them. As usual, they created havoc on my decision to have Kiara. For them, it was just a part of practical life to tell me to do an abortion. But I was afraid to take the life of an innocent. I could not have lived with the guilt of it while my mum and dad did not support me. That's when I met Anna. She has been truly my friend in need.

Kiara's existence made me realize what happiness feels like exactly!

I miss my good old times some days. Once I decided to take responsibility for my child, I realised how much the world is against me.

I sighed remembering my hurtful past once again.

Alexander, my first love. Now when I look back I see how much an i***t I was to name the attraction to love.

I feel nothing when I remember about him but the one thing he left behind is Kiara. His child. My child.

No matter how much I curse him, blame him but end up feeling guilty and regretful for doing mistakes.

Hailing from a conservative family, my parents have always expected me to get graduated, be an engineer or doctor, and once started earning get married but I did the complete opposite things. I left engineering and opted for financial studies, that's when I met Alexander.

My worst mistake was trusting him. When things went wrong with him, I didn't even get to know him.

I had to leave my college in between when I found out about my pregnancy when I was eighteen. Then I had to do some small jobs to raise me. The real struggle started after I gave birth to Kiara. Mum and dad turned their backs at me.

Why is it like this, when we need our parents the most, they refuse to be with us just because they think we are doing something very wrong? Isn't family all about love and being with each other all rights and wrongs? I wiped my tears, deciding no more to cry.

"Ali, I washed my hands, now let's eat the pizzaaaaaaa" She sang happily.

"Did you gargle your mouth?" I looked at her.

"Yes, now gimme the pizza" she nodded and spread her hands at me.

"Okay first let me put this" I kept the napkin on her lap.

"Open the box, open the box" Kiara cheered.

"Patience" I chuckled at her cuteness.

Looking at her I remember my childhood. I was the same as her.

Impatient, joyful, pizza lover.

I opened the box and picked the cutter. She clapped excitedly as I rolled the cutter over the pizza, cutting it into pieces. She quickly picked one and took a mouthful bite. I also picked one and took a bigger bite than her.

"Its-"

''Yummm''

We both said and giggled.

"Ali, can I ask you something?" She said chewing pizza. I hummed while taking another bite.

"I did not like that man in the cafe," She said. I chuckled at her.

"Same here," I said, moving my hand up for a high five. She quickly raised her hand, clapping to mine.

"I like Ryan Gosling," She said.

"Oh. Is he handsome?" I asked, taking a bite and controlling my laughter.

"Yes, very. Why don't you meet him?" She asked naively.

"I wish Kia," I said.

Kids can imagine anything they want. She just thought I could date Ryan Gosling. Only if I get anyone near to his match!

I laughed.

We ate the pizza savouring its taste. The last piece was left in the box and Kiara burped.

''Oh, the tummy is full! That means someone is going to sleep tight'' I said, poking lightly on her fuller belly and picking up the last slice of pizza. I noticed Kiara staring at the slice in my hand.

"Kia, you are young to have this much pizza"

"I am ten I can trust you," She said.

"No, go wash your mouth"

I said in a commanding tone. She pouted cutely.

I ate the last piece hurriedly because of her and dusted off my hands.

"When I will grow up I will eat the whole pizza and won't give you at all," She said sulking over the pizza.

"Haww, not even one piece?" I asked in shock.

"Okay it's done but only one piece," She said and I smiled '' Thank you so much ''

She raised her chin nodding at me ''Mention not''

I laughed.

After we brushed together, Kiara dozed off again. I switched off the lights and came to my study room.

For the last time, I opened the dating site Anna mentioned to me once. This can help me to find a perfect partner.

Should I give it a try?

I started scrolling through the profiles of lots of men. Some of them really have the coolest bio but creepy profile pictures. I can't do both. Mine has neither a cool picture nor a cool bio.

Financial advisor

That's what was written in my bio section. Anna helped before to approach any man. I checked a few profiles and read what they have written in their bio's.

"I wonder if our hearts beat the same, wanna check?''

NOPE

"Your shining armour at night"

Good night!

I cringed hard looking at some messages I got.

''I won't ask for nudes, I just want to see your beautiful smile with clothes off''

Blocked, you are BLOCKED!!!

That's it. I don't want these over-enthusiastic s*x cravers in my life. I went into setting mode and deleted my account from that site.

The site does ask me before deleting my account fully

"You will regret deleting perhaps give it a chance"

No thanks.

I murmured some curse words while clicking on the deactivate option. Seems like there won't be any possibility to find love on this site but don't worry Mum, I won't be a burden on you anymore. I will find a capable partner soon and get married in a month. That's my word to you. For now, I am lucky to find ice cream in the fridge.

---

The unfortunate Sunday has passed too quickly.

Yesterday's pizza party showed a bloated belly in the morning.

Never mind.

I sat over the toilet seat and opened a google on my mobile, wondering about how weight-loss diets are really effective. I typed it and searched. I found a variety of options and I scrolled through some effective weight loss recipes. The diet included everything from a liquid diet, vegan diet, ahh special famous keto diet. Once I tried it and couldn't last more than 7 hours without food. The website has stated how pizza affects our health as it contains fat.

Well well well.

For me, pizza isn't the only food. It's an emotion.

It's good to swear by.

Whether I am happy or sad, Pizza has always been there for me.

I scrolled through the sites and my eyes felt one advertisement for gyms. I have never done gymming in my life yet. Because now I was in a dilemma.

How to get some time to do all this?

I scrolled for home exercises. Well, that's not a bad idea. But last time I tried doing yoga on the mat and couldn't realize when I slept. Argh!! Yoga is indeed relaxing.

After scrolling and searching a lot, I stopped when I saw a mouth-watering dish of some plates of seafood.

This is how I jumped from the diet to the gym to the food again.

--

After I was done with all my morning chores, I walked into Kiara's room to wake her up. She is still asleep, sound and peaceful, not knowing where the world is moving.

"Wake up Kia, it's 6 am. You have school today'' I said, throwing a glance around her room and started gathering her scattered toys and books.

Urgh, this girl.

When will she learn to clean her room on her own?

Suddenly I remembered my mum also used to wake me up like this when I had thrown so many tantrums to skip going to school.

I chuckled looking at Kiara doing the same thing.

"What is this mess, Kia? When you will keep things in their places" I scolded her.

She mumbled something in sleep and shuffled to the other side. I looked at her still sleeping. Well, girl, I have another trick to wake you up. I opened the curtains fully, letting the morning fresh sun rays invade inside. She whined.

"Wake up, come on, wake up, hurry up," I said walking to her on the bed.

"It's a holiday today," she said groggily.

"You can't fool Mumma in this. It's Monday today, now come on," I said, pulling out the duvet from her.

She made an annoying and unpleasant squeak. But I ignored her like any other day.

"I want you out of bed when I will come again," I told her and walked out of her room to prepare tiffin for her.

I grabbed the packet of peanuts and chicken from the fridge and started preparing the food.

In between, I glanced at the clock and cursed the time, who was trying to race ahead of me.

Has she woken up or not? I need to check.

''KIARAAAA'' I yelled at her, getting panicked when I walked into her room and saw her still in bed, sleeping. I ran and made her sit.

"Wake up you have school today" I patted lightly on her cheeks, She opened her eyes and closed.

"I don't wanna go" She mumbled, whining to me.

"You don't have the option Kia, wake up and get ready, or else I will also be late because of you," I told her, dragging her out of bed.

"I don't wanna" she held onto the duvet, refusing to come out of the bed.

"Kia, wake up or else I will give all your toys to other kids," I warned her and there was still no reply from her.

She sat on the bed with her eyes closed in a meditating position.

"Fine, I am giving them now.." The moment I said, she quickly opened her eyes.

"Wait Ali, I am awake, just my eyes aren't opening," She told me.

I suppressed my laughter. I held her up in my arms and walked to the bathroom.

"Wash your eyes quickly," I said. Suddenly I smelt something burning. I immediately ran to the kitchen and saw how the fog had been coming out of the pot.

Oh no, my chicken!

I instantly turned off the gas and held the cover. I put it aside, as it was hot too. I checked the food inside the pot and cursed.

Damn!

My attempt at cooking has failed. I sighed thinking about borrowing food from the new food court that opened nearby.

For now, I prepared some sandwiches to eat.

The day has started on this chaotic note that I don't know where it will lead me further!

__