Her True Mate

Present Day Kaitlin’s POV Silence. I desperately wanted the empty ringing in my ears that true silence brings, but the droning hum of the fan was setting my teeth on edge now that I was awake. Fück. Slamming my hands down next to me, I sigh at the ceiling, squeezing my eyes shut. This is not how I wanted to wake up again. I brought my hands up to my face and rubbed hard, not wanting to open my eyes. I took a deep breath, and my lungs filled with a sterile and unfamiliar scent. I immediately bolted out of bed, not quite remembering where I was. My breathing was quick as I scanned my surroundings. I was in a hotel room. I was in Boston with my Beta for this stupid Alpha Conference. My breathing evened out slightly. Relaxing back into the stiff sheets, I breathed, trying to calm my heart. That hum once again stuck its annoying chorus back into my brain. Silence—that’s all I have craved these last few weeks, but it has eluded me, and I can’t seem to catch a break. Recently, my life has been one chaotic nightmare I can’t escape. From my title, my friends, my family… My family…Mom, Dad, Marc, Sara, Peter… A small, rattled breath shook me from those negative thoughts, and I cleared my throat. Stop Kaitlin. Not today. I have survived all this for months. I will continue to make it through without breaking down yet again. I counted to ten in my head and took another big inhale. It helped. Barely. I reached over to the nightstand, looking for my watch. I grasped the cool metal in my fingers and turned the face towards me, 03:23 AM. Dammit, I only came to my room around 11:45 last night and crawled into bed not long after. I unclenched my jaw, realizing I was grinding my teeth, and sighed, falling back onto the bed. Staring up at the white ceiling, I could only hear my thoughts and that damned hum. Why can’t they make hotel air conditioners less annoying? You know what’s funny? Before this shitstorm that my life has turned into, I prayed for these things to be louder. Drowning out the sounds of guests and TVs and stomping from the floors above when I lay awake from them and not my thoughts. I used to love traveling. I craved it. The joy of being in one city and another completely different town in a matter of a few hours sent my soul into pure bliss. I love people-watching, making up grand adventures for them while waiting for connecting flights or transportation and trying different foods and drinks. There is just something magical about that. Of course, that all came crashing down a few weeks ago. My dreams and my joys were ripped from my grasp. I rolled over, trying to bury my face in the too-soft pillows. I grabbed them and pounded my fist into them to make them firm. Like that would fücking help. Sighing again, I laid there face down, stiff as a board. Repeating “GO TO FÜCKING SLEEP” over and over in my head. I couldn’t seem to catch a break. Waking up was as irritating as the insomnia I couldn’t shake. Groaning, I roll back over. My body hurt from the long flight. I should have moved around in my seat more. First class isn’t more comfortable if you don’t move. I was pinned in my seat, though, lost in thought as my beta kept sending me nervous glances out of the corner of his eye. I understood why. He was still trying to understand the waves of emotions I sometimes let slip. Lately, though, irritation and hurt have been at the forefront of the endless range of my emotions. Pulling the sheets closer to my chin, I grab the locket on my chest. Stroking the warm metal in my palm, I didn’t fight the memory pulling me in. ---- FLASHBACK ---- “Kaitlin!” I heard my name being shouted across the large bar. I turned and saw my family crowded around a high-top table. Sara, Mark, and Peter were already there. I pushed through the crowd of bodies, pushing gently until I could reach them. Peter immediately grabbed me and picked me up in his signature hug. “Why hello!” I giggled. I could not help keeping the grin on my face. Grunting slightly at the force of his hug, he sets me down gently. “Hello to you too, stranger!” His baritone voice rings in my ears. Sara reaches across the table with my favorite IPA, “The f*****g bar staff in this place sucks tonight, Kait. They couldn’t get your beer right.” She started. “Now don’t blame them, Sara, you also said, ‘I want the IPA.’” Mark imitated her poorly, interrupting her. Sara glared at Mark. “Luckily, she has you to save the day. Hi darling,” I said to Mark. He beams at me and looks so lovingly at Sara. She beamed back at him and rolled her eyes. “So, which beer did they bring you?” I asked Mark. He’s been on this kick of trying new beers each weekend. “Some double IPA out of Houston? You’d love it, sis!” I take the can. It has a cool logo of a saint holding a beer and some poker chips on the side. It looks cool as hell. I take a small sip and moan. “Wow! It’s so smooth. Better watch out; I might steal that from you.” I chuckled darkly as he snatched back his beer, eyes wide. This bar finds the coolest s**t, and they bring it in once a month for a craft sampler weekend. It’s a brilliant idea. I am secretly jealous of it, and I wish I had invested when they asked for backers. The turnout is always impressive. “Have you heard from him?” I was startled at the low question over my shoulder. Peter looked at me with concern in his eyes. I shook my head subtly, unable to keep his gaze any longer. I drag my eyes around the bar, pushing back the tears, fighting to break through. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I am not going to let him affect me. I’ve made up my mind about it. How can you get answers when the one you need to answer them vanishes into thin air? I return my attention to my friends as my hackles start to rise. Mark and Sara are grinning ear to ear at me. It’s suddenly frightening, “What the hell is wrong with you two?” I say as my guard goes up. Suddenly, something cold slides down my neck, and I quickly reach my throat. Looking down at whatever it is, my guard is high. But what I see shocks me. Damned tears start up once more. It’s an incredible locket on a delicate chain. I look up suddenly, eyes wide. “We wanted you to have something from all of us!” Sara practically screams at me. Peter chuckles, secures the clasp, and gently pulls my hair from under the chain. It falls perfectly on my chest. I felt the tears slide down my face, “NOPE! Absolutely fücking not, sis. I am not putting up with another damned drop from your eyeballs!!” I snapped my eyes at him. My eyes dried up with the command he let slip through his sentence. He grimaces, “Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” “Mark Wyatt Hamil! How dare you let your alpha command out on your sister!” Sara whispered angrily at him. She frightens even me sometimes. “Oh fück, here we go,” Pete mutters and shoves my shoulder with his, turning my attention away from the ass-chewing that’s about to go down. I chuckled, grateful for the momentary distraction, lightly smiling down at the intricate pattern on the locket. I open it and see the four of us squashed together. It’s my favorite picture of us crowded on my family’s massive single sofa seat. Why we thought all four of us could still fit on that one loveseat amazes me. “Sara had to make a copy of your photo. I am surprised you didn’t notice it was missing.” He looked at me, smiling. “I guess I haven’t noticed much these days. I am sorry about that.” He hugs me tightly and tickles my ear with his finger. Goddess, he loves doing that, and I cringe every time. I’ve known Peter my whole life. He’s my brother’s best friend and Beta. Despite being Mark’s little sister, he always made me feel loved even though I’m not too fond of the teasing finger in the ear, which he currently is doing, which breaks my melancholy mood. Why couldn’t Peter be my mate? He is so attentive and caring. At 22 years old, he still hasn’t found his mate. Sometimes, I hate that we are f*****g werewolves blessed with one person to spend forever with but have no say about who it is. We can find our mates when we first shift at 17. Mates are our Goddess-given gift—the one person who was made for you and paired with you by Selene herself. Once you find them, you are bound together in a love so deep nothing can break it, or so I hear. Mates often don’t live long if they lose the other once marked and mated. It is very rare to reject your mate. It is also not typical to be as old as Peter and not find your mate, but it seems to be happening more lately. My heart breaks for him, for me, too. “That is why you are here with us!” he says, breaking me from my thoughts, and smiles so broadly I can’t help but grin back. “We are so excited for you to break free of this place and explore the world! I don’t believe the world is ready for you, Kait.” My smile gets even more prominent, and I look back at my brother and his mate, who are now face-sucking. I wonder if they can even breathe. I cleared my throat loudly, and they snapped back to reality and blushed. They found each other almost immediately. Mark was on a patrol run, and Sara was out playing with her niece she was visiting in our pack. It was love at first sniff! “Sorry!” They both say in unison. “Anyway, I think Peter beat us to the punch, but we just want to feel like we are there on your epic adventure!” Mark says excitedly. “We are so glad you’re getting out, Kait. You need this.” He looks at me with love and a little concern in his eyes. “I love it. Thanks, guys!” --- My phone buzzing on the nightstand ripped me from the memory. It’s a text from Blayn, my best friend and Beta. Blayn: I can hear your thoughts from the next room. Are you ok? Fück. I groaned, throwing my phone down on the bed. I should have realized Blayn would pick up on my mental dilemma.