Shadow wolves: A burning desire (Book 5) - Complete

Chapter 4 - Finding our feet.

Matt

A loud banging and swearing from a young boy woke me. It was still early morning, and I had one hell of a headache. I had no idea how I got into bed. Rubbing my eyes, I had to find out what all the noise was about first. I groggily got up out of bed and made my way to the passage, finding four boys trying to move a bed into Erik’s room.

“Boys, boys, what are you doing?” I squinted.

“Moving. Megan said to.” Erik sighed.

“I can see that, but you are about to break the house down in your attempt to do so. Can I give you some advice before you break my house and my head in the process?” I rubbed the back of my head.

“Huh? Uncle Matt, did you drink last night?” Randolph raised an amused brow.

“No, I think your grandma Moon had something to do with why I’m feeling like this. She must have given me something to sleep. I just can’t remember anything this morning. Now let’s get this bed in the room, okay.” I waved my hand about.

“If we must,” Erik growled softly.

“Erik, if your aunt Meg, said so, then we must.” I threw both my hands in the air and we turned the bed this way, then up that way and it slid right into the room. “There, now I need coffee.”

“I need to go see mom. Will you get ready so we can go?” Erik sounded impatient and the other boys said their goodbyes. They were out the front door like lightning, as if they were expecting a fight.

“Why? Aren’t your aunt and uncle taking you?” I moved about the kitchen making my coffee.

“No, she is being as stubborn as an ass.” Erik actually pouted.

“Language. She is your Luna and you will respect her!” I growled at him.

“A donkey … An ass … Get it … Now let’s go.” I could see he had tried that one before!

“Erik, let’s get one thing straight. You might not like me or the fact that you now have to live under my roof. Or even that you are my son. But in this house, I am the Alpha and you will respect me. You don’t tell me what to do and when to do it. I might not have been here for a while, but I’m still your father. Besides, they won’t let you see her until later.” I had had enough and his face turned red with anger before he stormed out of the kitchen into his room, slamming the door shut. I wasn’t sure if this old house was teenager proof. Needing a shower to clear my head, I avoided the teenager and made my way to the bathroom. When the hot water hit my head, I could feel the headache slowly start to leave. Oh, who was I kidding? I didn’t know if I was teenager proof!

I wasn’t there in his baby years. How was I supposed to talk to him now? Maybe I should have eased up on the “My house, my rules” thing. Damn Meg, what were you thinking? He was happy staying with you! Getting dressed, I wondered what I was going to feed it. What the fu.ck was I going to feed this teenager? Do they feed themselves?

I got dressed and walked to the kitchen, finding a fully stocked fridge and cupboards. Okay fine, so she thought about everything. When did all this happen? I had no idea, but it did and I got started on bacon and eggs, silently swearing at Megan’s efficiency. The smells drifted through the house, making a head pop around the corner.

“You can stop standing there and just smelling all this. You don’t have to like me, but you have to eat. Set the table so long, breakfast is almost ready.” I didn’t look his way and wondered when I had become my mother?! Isn’t that the woman in the house’s job? Ah fu.ck, Matt, just got through today, I thought to myself.

I dished up and sat down to eat. Both of us, of course, reached for the hot sauce at the same time, but I let him have it first. We ate in silence and when we were done, I started clearing up, expecting him to go hide in his bedroom again, but he surprised me by getting up and helping me. When the dishes were done, I grabbed my hat and truck keys.

“Ready to go?” I sighed and he looked at me from my head to my toes, and back up again, as if I looked like an alien.

“Not if you’re going dressed like that.” Erik exclaimed.

“Like what?” I looked at my clothes and then at him.

“Looking like you just stepped out of nineteen-twenties farm life.” He looked offended, as if I had done something wrong.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I sighed.

“Everything. You can start by losing the hat, dude.” Okay, so he hated the way I dressed as well, but at least he was talking to me. I put my hat back on the rack, not used to walking around without it. My head felt a bit vulnerable and I just felt out of place. But for my son’s reputation’s sake …

“I tell you what. If you can stand me for a couple of hours, why don’t you come with me this afternoon and help me shop for whatever it is that will make me look cool according to your standards. Okay?” I sighed and he took a second to think about it.

“Just you and me?” He frowned.

“Yes, just you and me.” I sighed. He didn’t look too happy about it but gave me a nod.

“If it means you won’t walk around looking like that in public, I will do it. Just don’t think it’s going to happen all the time. Now can we go?” He waved at the door and I opened it and waved to show him to get his butt outside.

“I’m not the one who is keeping us complaining about looks.” I sighed. The drive to the hospital was quiet and the tension in my shoulders started pulling again. I didn’t know if I would be able to walk into her room. I didn’t even know if she would want to see me. I needed to see her. I needed to touch her, but she looked so fragile, and what if she hated me? If I lost her again, I wouldn’t survive it this time.

Fiona

I woke up to the noises of the hospital slowly starting to get into its morning routine. Dr. M popped in to check on me in the early hours of the morning.

“Well, you look good, Fiona. Except for the heavy weight loss, I would say that you can go home today. Just take it easy, rest, eat, and get lots of fluids and build up your strength again. Let your boys take good care of you. If they don’t, they will have to deal with me.” Dr M smiled at me, patting me on my hand. My boys … Matt! Where was he? Why hadn’t I seen him yet? I hadn’t even felt his presence close by. I lay my head back onto the pillow when I heard Megan’s voice coming down the passage. Thank the goddess! I hoped she brought clothes and that she was taking me to the packhouse. I didn’t think I could deal with anyone else at the moment.

“Hey pretty little lady, how are you doing today?” Megan smiled.

“According to doc. M, I can go home. Let’s go already.” I sighed, wanting to get up.

“HAHAHA you are so funny. I brought you some clothes. We will have to take you shopping when you feel up to it. I don’t think your old ones are going to suit you at the moment and Matt and Erik are on their way to coming to take you home.” She smiled and my eyes grew wide.

“What do you mean take me home?” I frowned.

“Your home silly, where else did you think you were going?” Megan looked amused.

“The packhouse …” I sighed. “I haven’t seen or been with Matt for ten years Megan, how can you expect me to just go home?” A machine next to me started beeping, making me even more anxious. He didn’t come for me. I didn’t feel our bond. I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. He wasn’t even there when I woke up!

“Sweetie, who do you think was the one that called for help when you arrived at home? We are all just so glad he was there to find you. He carried you all the way into the hospital, not wanting to let go of you for a second.” Megan looked worried as she told me.

“I’m sorry, I’m confused and scared. I don’t know what to do. Or feel for that matter. The bond is telling me to do one thing and my head is telling me another and all I want is for things to go back to what they were before all this happened.” I threw my hands in the air as tears filled my eyes.

“Yes, I know, but you know as well as I do, that is not going to happen. You guys are going to have to build a new life on what you have now. Please go home and try it. If it is really bad, I will make a plan for the three of you to be moved to separate quarters. I would just hate to see one of my most loved families broken up.” Megan patted my shoulder.

“I can’t promise anything, Megan. It was hard enough just getting back.” I had no idea how I was going to do this, but I guess, it was the only way for the moment. At least I would have my Erik there. I had no idea how I felt about Matt or what I wanted to feel about him. Megan helped me get dressed and, for the first time in so many years, I sensed his presence nearby. It was faint, but it was there. Erik walked into the room, ready to find me still in bed.

“Mom! What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting.” Erik exclaimed.

“We are here to take your mother home, Erik. Dr. M phoned me this morning when you were being a teenager and told me we can pick her up.” Erik looked at Matt like a child at Christmas receiving the gift he always wanted. Looking at me, he smiled, his jaw almost wide open.

“That’s right. I’m coming home and I will need your help so I can get strong again.” Running up to me, he grabbed hold of me in a bear hug, nearly knocking the wind out of me and almost smothering me. “Need … Air!” I gasped, remembering how Matt used to hug me this way.

“Oh crap! Sorry, mom.” He grinned at me. My little boy was no little boy anymore. He might just be twelve years old but he was tall like his father. Taller than me already. Matt walked over to me and gave me a chaste kiss on my forehead, touching me on my arm. Goosebumps ran right through my body.

“Are you cold, my love?” He immediately responded in a natural way, tearing me up inside. How did I tell my mate that even though I wanted him to touch me, I couldn’t stand being touched?

“A little.” I tried to smile as Megan gave me a jersey she brought with and Erik helped me put it on. Matt left the room for a couple of minutes, returning with a wheelchair.

“Doc. M says it’s hospital policy. Now I know you are going to …” I stopped him mid-sentence, knowing I wouldn’t have the strength to walk to the car.

“It’s fine. Erik, will you help me. My legs are still tired after my marathon run.” I tried to make it a joke to keep things as light as possible. I knew there were a lot of feelings going around, the biggest being guilt. Everyone felt guilty for not knowing I was still alive and now they didn’t know how to say it or make up for it. I didn’t know how I felt about it. I … I still had to process my feelings about it all before I could think about everyone else’s. Until then, I just wanted the air around me to be as light as possible and concentrate on Erik’s birthday and the wolf revealing ceremony. I didn’t want anything to spoil that for him. Erik wheeled me out of my room and everyone else was quietly following us.

“How are the preparations going for the birthday ceremony?” I smiled.

“You remember?” Erik looked surprised.

“Of course. That was the reason I made it Erik. I wasn’t going to miss your wolf revealing for anything in the world.” I smiled at my boy.

“Most of the arrangements have already been made, but I would love to hear your ideas for Erik’s things if you would like.” Megan updated me and I smiled.

“I’m sure you have it under control, Meg. Besides, it’s in a couple of days. There won’t be time to make changes.” I knew she would have everything under control. I was just trying to make conversation.

“For you, my friend, I will move mountains. You just give me the word.” Megan frowned for a moment and an awkward silence fell over us all again and we thankfully reached Matt’s old truck. Our old truck.

“You still have it.” I exclaimed, looking at him with tears starting to form in my eyes.

“Nobody will buy it after you dent the front fender.” He smiles at me, picking me up bridal style, he helps me inside.