On The Precipice

CHAPTER ONE-3

So what was Luc doing back here already? And would his presence here mean I had to pack my bags and high-tail it out before I’d planned to? Should I text Nina and let her know he was here? Because, surely, if she’d known he’d arrive today she would have told me. But would that make her crazy work day even crazier? I decided not to text.

I was almost done cleaning up in the kitchen when Luc reappeared, now in jeans. He opened the fridge, and grabbed a small bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water. He leaned against the island behind him and took a swig.

He asked, "Did Nina happen to say when she’d be back?"

"Late. She said she might be having dinner at work."

"Ah, good. So you and I can have a chat."

I glanced at his almost-handsome face, clear of any facial hair below his eyes. Nina had said he was divorced with a five-year-old daughter living with his ex in New Jersey, I think. She’d said he was, what, thirty-two? Thirty-five? His half-smile was impossible to interpret. Was it an offer of friendship, or did the other half of that smile hide a threat?

He turned toward the living room. I grabbed another bottle of the microbrew I’d had with dinner and followed him. He sat in the chair that faced away from the window, and I settled into the corner of the couch nearest him.

"How is the, uh, the search going? For school?"

So he must be trying to find out when I’ll be leaving. Nina and I had already established that once I had a first choice of schools, I’d move to be close to it. "Good. Too many choices, actually."

"So no decisions yet. You should take your time."

Okay, so I did not know how to interpret this guy.

"Nina tells me you were hiking in Hawai’i." I was about to respond when he added, "A spiritual quest, she called it."

Okay. Wow. Thanks for nothing, Nina. How the hell was I supposed to reply to that?

Again, before I could respond, he spoke. "Did you find what you sought?"

Solid ground, now. "I did. Yes."

"And what was that?"

Several different phrases flashed through my brain. Like, Who wants to know? Like, Why do you ask? Like, What, Nina didn’t tell you? What I finally said was, "Connection. Family connection."

He looked confused. "But your family is only Nina, correct? And she was here."

"That’s why it was a spiritual quest."

"Ah. So, with your dead family. I see."

He drank from his bottle. I drank from mine. I decided to go on the offensive. "You were just with your family, I understand. In Bernay. France."

He took another swig and then nodded. And then said nothing.

So I prompted. "You left there a little earlier than you planned, I think."

He waved a hand near his head, and somehow the meaning was different from what it had been the first time he’d done it. This time there was something dismissive in it.

"I had enough family time. Maybe too much."

Too much. He’d had too much family time, while I mourned my two family members who had died in the past few years, wishing like hell I had more time with them, embarking on an exotic excursion to try and reconnect with them.

"Interesting. I went all the way to Kaua’i to connect with mine."

He nodded as he gazed at his water bottle. "I think we want what we don’t have and aren’t satisfied with what we do have. Do you agree?" He looked at me as he lifted the bottle and drained the last of the bubbly water into his mouth.

I’d forgotten that the French are known for their own brand of existentialism. I responded with something Gram used to say. "Happiness isn’t getting what you want. It’s wanting what you have."

Luc chuckled and gazed back at his bottle. "I wouldn’t know."

Dark. Again, I was at a loss with this guy.

He set the empty bottle on the coffee table, crossed one ankle on the opposite knee, and folded his fingers together.

"Still," he said, picking up on a previous thread, "I support your effort. I told Nina, ‘Let him do this quest.’" He chuckled. "‘Even if you don’t like this Conroy.’ That’s what I told her."

He grinned at me as I struggled to think what to say. I came up empty.

"Conroy was a lover, no?" Nina had clearly told him quite a bit.

Lover. Ha! Conroy would have shuddered at the idea. "That’s too elegant a word." I gave him an assessing glance. I doubted I could shock him, but—let’s see. "He was the trip leader. He and I—we were more like f**k buddies."

Luc laughed. "I have not heard this term. It’s very descriptive." He lifted a hand, not quite repeating his waving gesture. "This hike. It was dangerous?"

Had I told Nina that? I couldn’t recall. "Part of it, yes."

"This ‘Crawler’s Ledge.’ It sounds ominous."

And just like that, something opened up. Something made me trust this guy enough to describe just how ominous it had been, and just how important a role I had played. I told him about Margot, the only woman on that strenuous hike, and what a trooper she was—never complaining, never asking for help, determined to hold her own.

I told him about being on that "ominous" part of the trail, where the rock face goes nearly straight up to your left while your boots struggle to fit onto the narrow red dirt track, the other side of which is a precipitous plunge hundreds of feet to massive waves crashing against volcanic rock.

I repeated Conroy’s warning for Luc: "There’s nothing but empty space between you and a fall that will last only until your body smashes onto the rocks below. It might be carried out to sea in pieces, or it might lie there until it’s picked apart by sea birds."

Luc’s expression changed from sincere interest to the kind of fascination that says, Tell me the worst. Don’t hold back.

"Margot was in front of me when this blast of wind came from nowhere. A piece of canvas flew off the pack of the guy in front of her. She lost her balance." I paused for a sip of beer. Luc said nothing, just watched me, waiting for the story to continue.

"She fell over the edge."

"My God."

"It was surreal. It was like the world stood still. Conroy and I dropped to the ground and peered over the edge. I was sure I would see something like what he’d told us about. But instead, there she was, lying on an outcropping maybe eight feet down."

Luc was riveted. He shook his head a couple of times, not quite in disbelief. So I went on with the steps Conroy and I had taken to get her, and then her pack, back up onto the trail.

"She wasn’t hurt?" Luc wanted to know.

"She said only her pride. But the fall did a bit of a number on her shoulder."

"A number?"

"Sorry. It was sore where she landed on it."

Margot had sat with her back against the rock face and sobbed for some minutes, Conroy holding her shoulders and just letting her cry. And when she was able to stand, she’d said she couldn’t keep going. At that point, we were maybe half-way through the really dangerous part of the trail, but the next day we’d have to come back over it. The Kalalau Trail is not a loop; it’s one way in, and the same way out.

I told Luc, "I left with her."

Luc’s foot dropped to the floor and he leaned in my direction, his right hand extended. I gave him mine, and we shook again. "You are a noble fellow," he told me. He sat back in his chair and added, "I think you did not tell Nina this story."

I laughed as I realized he was correct. "I don’t know why not. I’m sure she could handle it."

"You protect your sister. This is good, I think."

I laughed again. "Or maybe I just didn’t want her to think she’d been right about not wanting me to go."

Luc smiled at me and then stood. "I will make some dinner. You have eaten?"

"Yeah."

"Come entertain me while I cook."

I watched from across the island as Luc did marvelous things with eggs and some cheese and linguine. I think parsley was involved. Or maybe it was tarragon? I almost regretted being full of tacos. While he worked, and then as we sat on stools at the island and he ate his dinner, I told him about El Speed, and about Ellie, and about how I was going to visit them in their rented house in Orono. I described how Nina had been the one to come up with the name El Speed, based on the "L. Speed" in the return address of a letter he’d sent me before we even met, after we’d been assigned as roommates by the university. I told Luc about a few of my hiking adventures, including the day I’d met Conroy half-way up Cannon Mountain in New Hampshire. I considered telling Luc how Conroy and I had f****d on the summit of South Kinsman, but before I could make up my mind, I heard Nina’s voice.

"Luc? You’re home?"

He didn’t call out. He waited until she came into view, when he stood and gave her a quick hug and a quicker kiss. "I had enough of France. And enough of the Beaumonts."

"You probably scared the hell out of Nathan."

"I don’t think Nathan scares easily."