Mini
"Minmini, dinner is ready. Come out of your room for God's sake.."
I finally shut my book when my mom's shrill voice permeated through the thick teak wood door of my room for the nth time. It's been two months since I graduated from school but I have been locking myself in my room post-lunch and the reason is the entrance exam that I have tomorrow.
If you ask me, I seriously don't care about scores or what course I took after grade twelve because, to be frank, I have no intention to study. Why unnecessarily study when you can do other better things in life?
However, I need to do this so I can have the one thing that I have wanted my entire life, to be with the man with whom I have been in love since the day I came into existence or maybe even before that.
"Min.." Before my mom could scream my name again, I made it to the dining room where my dad and brother were already seated.
"I'm here amma.." I gave her a cheeky smile and took the empty chair next to my dad.
My brother, Aadhi gave me a heart-warming smile before pushing an empty plate toward me. My relationship with my brother had taken a one-eighty degrees turn since he left for Bangalore for work. And whenever he returned home on certain weekends, there are no more bickering or silly fights over the TV remote, showing how much we both have grown up. I didn't understand if I was sad or glad about it.
"How is your preparation going on, Mini?" Dad asked taking a mouthful of sambar rice into his mouth.
"Great appa.." I gave him a thumbs up.
"Good. Good.." He nodded at me with a proud grin plastered on his lips. "I'm sure you would get through the All India medical exams but all I pray is for you to get into a college in and around Chennai.."
I quickly counter-prayed that that wish of my dad doesn't happen but nodded to look like I have not been plotting this plan of mine for so long.
"I don't understand why you have to study so hard when you can take up some simple course. It is not like we will be any less proud of you, Mini.." My mom interrupted as she served some rice on my plate.
"Roja, it's okay. Let her try, no harm in it.." My dad came to my rescue like he always does, causing her to instantly press her lips into a line. Mom never want me to aim high in my life, I didn't know the reason why. Maybe she knew if I studied something out of the ordinary, I would want to leave this place and that she didn't want. She never liked when any of her children talked about leaving the house for education, a job, or what so be the reason.
Shaking her head with disagreement, she took a seat before filling her plate with food, "Ela called today.."
My hand that was holding a small ball of rice froze mid-air upon hearing the name that always spread warmth, starting from my heart to my entire body. I tried to remain unaffected as my mom continued to fill us with more information. This is the only way I get to know where he is and how he is doing.
"He is coming back home at the end of the next month.." All her previous annoyance caused by me had vanished and was now replaced by a wide smile.
"That's great news! He didn't visit us since he joined the army. I miss him.." I could detect a slight scrap of worry and longing in my dad's voice and why wouldn't he when he considers Ela as his own?
"Yeah.." Mom sighed, "He's supposed to call us every weekend but he never does so. I sometimes feel like he doesn't want to be a part of this family anymore. Did we by chance do anything to make him feel any less of a family member, Nilay?"
Her worries straight away prickled my skin with guilt. No one in this house knew that I was the one who drove him away, so far from the only family he has.
"Amma, you should understand anna is posted in the war-torn regions of Kashmir where everyone is not privileged to call their loved ones every weekend. There is no reason for him to be not part of this family. He loves us all as much as we do and you know that.." Aadhi paused eating and grabbed mom's hand to provide her the necessary comfort.
I tried to inhale deeply when another jab of guilt suffocated my lungs for forcing Ela into leaving us all and joining the Indian army. Mom and dad did not approve of it even to this day but being only foster parents they couldn't keep him on a leash for too long. They had to eventually let him go.
I apologized to Ela for what I did, an irresistible, impulsive stupidity I would call. Something I shouldn't have done at the age of fifteen, something for what he is punishing himself, something my family will kill me if they got to know. I begged, cried, and tried to stop him but who was I kidding? I should have known Ela wouldn't change his mind once he made it. He is a man of very few words, honorable, and a very honest human being.
I know why he left all of a sudden and why he avoids us, me in particular like a plague but I could never gather the courage to confess my crime to my mom with whom I could discuss anything in this world.
"Ela also said he is bringing someone home with him and he has something important to discuss with us.." My mom added in a happy note which strangely bugged me.
Over the years, Ela had never brought people home. Even though my parents treated him like their own son, Ela was always wary of the fact that he was an outsider who was lucky enough to get a family like ours. He never did or said anything that my parents might disagree with, not that my parents would have had any problem with him bringing a friend into this house. Aadhi always brought his friends home and to my parents, Aadhi and Ela were no different. In fact, I think I believe Ela is their favorite child out of all three of us. The only time he gave my parents a difficult time was when he chose to join the army and sadly it was because of my idiocy which I curse to even this day.
I sat wordlessly listening to my parents and brother having a normal conversation over dinner. The usually talkative me would always turn mute when the topic of Ela popped. That didn't mean I hated talking about him rather, I loved talking about him too much that I feared I might spill something to my parents that I shouldn't. So I often preferred to zip my lips tight when it comes to him. The only person with whom I allow myself to talk about him is my cousin and my only friend, Navira. She's my aunt Nithila's youngest daughter and we were just months apart from each other which made it easy for us to discuss anything and everything.
"What happened, Mini? You haven't said much. Aren't you happy your brother is finally coming back home after three long years?" I fought the urge to not flinch when my dad turned his attention to me.
I can't believe that one word has so much power to ruin me. Every time somebody called Ela my brother, I felt my heart wedged in my throat. I wanted to scream at them that he isn't my brother but I bit my tongue from doing so. However, I didn't know how long I could last.
I shook my head seeing that my father was still waiting for a reply, "It's not like that. I was.. uhm thinking about my exam.."
Dad huffed and stretched his hand to pat my forearm, "You shouldn't worry too much about it. You are putting your whole effort into it and I believe if you can't crack it through then no one can. So chill, little one. Okay?"
Glad that I could successfully dodge the topic about Ela, I nodded and grabbed my half-eaten plate from the table earning a scowl from my mother. "I don't think I can finish this.." I pointed my eyes at the leftover food.."
Before my mom could make a point of how bad it is to waste food, my dad nodded, "It's okay Mini. Leave it here. I will finish it for you.."
Throwing him a grin filled with gratitude, I skipped to my room and locked the door behind me. The first thing I did was grab my phone to call Navira before slumping into my bed which was scattered with books and random stationery stuff. I didn't have to search for her name in the logs as it's always there on the first.
"Hi di, how are you?"
I rolled my eyes at her dramatics, "You know, I called you only this evening.."
She giggled, "Yeah so there must be something really important if you are calling me again so soon. So spill."
I sighed. She knew me too well to hide something from her but I had any intention to hide anything from her. "Can't I have secrets, lady?"
"Not from me, no.." She replied with a chuckle which bought a smile to my lips but it disappeared as quickly as it came into existence. "Ela is coming home.."
"Wow! That's wonderful!!" She exclaimed and after a small pause of realization she spoke again, "but you don't sound very happy about it. May I ask why?"
"He's bringing someone home.." I answered her in a soft whisper.
"And why do you think it's a reason to be upset?" She prodded more.
"Because he's never brought someone home before.."
Navira breathed soundly, probably not understanding a thing that I was trying to imply. And she voiced it out, confirming how correct I was, "I don't understand why you have to be upset about such a trivial thing.."
"Ela has never brought anyone home before.." I repeated, "..and if he is bringing someone, then they should be really important to him. What if it is a girl? A woman?" My throat tightened, clogged with painful and despairing emotions enough to burn me alive.
"I think, you are just overthinking, Mini. He could bring a friend, a guy friend, or even a girl friend, for all I know. Haven't you heard of a girl bestie? It's popular nowadays.."
I hummed into the line even if didn't believe her. She didn't know Ela as well as I did but I wanted to hope she was right and I was wrong.
"Hey, don't worry. Even if he brings home a woman with him, who is really important to him" I was damn sure Navira was air-quoting the last phrase even when I couldn't see her, "..I assure you we can chase her away so that Ela remains only yours. Forever." She joked to lighten the mood and that is why I love her so much. If she wanted she could have told me to stop chasing after him but she's never said anything that would hurt me.
I giggled at our silliness, "That's true. I can't give up on him so fast. He's been mine for so long and I don't want to change that face for anyone or anything.."
"Yes, that's my girl! Fighting!!" She encouraged me like the cute Korean actresses from the K-dramas that she made me watch against my wish but I must say, I have secretly started to love them lately. Anyway, I am never going to admit it to her. We chatted for an hour or so, most of it about Ela and how I was going to win his heart before we ended the call.
Swiping my thumb over the screen, I ended up on his name in the contacts. His was the first number I saved after my dad bought it for me after I graduated from school. Even though I didn't have to save his number since it is etched in my heart, I did. What can I say? It gave a pleasant kick to my heart to include his name in my contacts list even when I was aware that I can never call him or text him after what I did.
For a flick of a second, my desire to press the call button heightened but I locked the damn thing and threw it away beside me before I did something stupid and regret for the rest of my life, as if I had nothing to regret as of now.
Draping the blanket over my head, I entered into my dreamland like I did every other night. I tried to put myself in scenarios that might never happen actually, like, us getting married, kissing and having cute kids, one son like me and one daughter like him before sleep completely engulfed me.
A/N:
Hey guys!!
So here's the first chapter of this book. Hope you liked it.
Anyone wants to know how my characters look? Tell me if you do and I would post it on my f*******: author page.
Love,
SwaRam