Forbidden Attraction

Deep Breaths

Looking at the clock on my nightstand my heart begins to beat faster. I close my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths to settle my nerves. In.. And out.. I still have plenty of time to get ready for my audition before I even have to think about leaving. Funny how I have always been able to sing in front of a crowd of strangers or get up and make a speech without hesitation, yet, the thought of this audition had butterflies in my stomach...or was that queasy feeling from the thought of failure? This is my first time out in the world. I need to know I can make it.

After everything the people of my city went through to get me out. I need to prove it to them that I was not a waste of their time and efforts. I am going to to do whatever it takes to come back to my city and take it by force with a fury. My hands go up to lightly touch at my temples. Who am I kidding? I would not be hiding in some random city under a new name if I could just waltz back into my home. I honestly do not know how I can go back or make it up to those people. My people. I only know that failure and throwing in the towel are not options for me.

There are nightclubs all over Victory City, so the odds of finding a job are likely to be in my favor, but it has been a long couple of weeks. Every time I try to talk someone into giving me an audition I get the same reply. They all say I need more experience and better references. Well, tell me, how is a girl supposed to get either of those things if nobody will give her a chance in the first place? I actually have an entire city of references, but I can’t use any of those here.

“Yes, Hello. I’m actually the most famous singer from my entire city. But I’m in hiding right now due to some ugly family drama.. so if we could just not contact any of those people. That would be great.”

The stress of finding a job before I run out of money is becoming a little too much. Every penny I have right now came from my poor savings and the money my people gathered for my escape. If I do not land a job soon I suppose the reality of my situation will begin to set in. I will have to get work doing something else to make ends meet, but that will cut in to my time finding the singing position. I was shooting for the stars, however settling for anything is absolutely better than the life I had to escape from. I can’t help but wonder if Vito is crazy enough with anger and spite to keep looking for me, even this far from home. How long will I be able to hide in one place before fleeing to the next?

I close my eyes to take more deep breaths. Now is not the time to cloud my mind with these thoughts. The last thing I need to do is let that creep into my head now. Everything about him completely drains my happiness and energy. It takes me somewhere dark. I try to shake it off by crossing the cozy little room to examine myself in the mirror on the wall above the low dresser.

The outfit I chose for tonight is a bit over the top as far as your average daytime interview goes, but you know what they say... “Dress for the job you want.” Auditioning for a nightclub singer means getting dolled up, I consider it a part of the resume. I have never had any difficulties with my wardrobe and actually enjoy that aspect of the job.

My dress is a silky material that is the same dark blue color as my eyes. It hangs off my shoulders, makes my cleavage look amazing, and has a pencil skirt that accentuates my hips before it tapers down to end just above my knees. My stockings are thick and black with backseams to show off the curves of my calves. To finish my outfit I choose my favorite black three inch heels. The straps criss cross in the front and then buckle around my ankle. They draw the eyes downward. An old trick that I learned long ago.

I check my makeup in the mirror and blow myself a kiss. My eyebrows and wine colored lipstick are on point with my full dark eyelashes brushing the tops of my cheeks when I blink. Looking at my long wavy hair, I decide to pull the top half up and pin it with a big diamond covered clip. I can always take it down later if I decide. My hair looks really nice this color. Light brown with lighter tips to look as if it has been naturally lightened by the sun. It goes well with my pale skin.

For my jewelry I walk over to the bed and take a small black box out from underneath the mattress. I do not live in the most desirable part of town and this is the only thing I own that I could never live without. It’s irreplaceable. I open the box to reveal my most prized possession. A delicate three stranded diamond and sapphire necklace paired with large diamond earrings. The necklace belonged to my mother. It was given to her as a gift from my grandfather, to match her dark blue eyes that were the same as mine. Almost the same..her eyes were more loving than mine, the kind of eyes a woman gets when she has known a life of mothering and caring. They held every emotion and every answer. She was the most beautiful woman in the whole world with a heart of gold to match.

There is a sense of closeness I get when I wear her necklace, knowing that she wore it. After I have the delicate chain clasped around my neck my fingers slowly rise up to touch the shining blue stones. My mother.. She would be happy to know I wear it in her honor. The very thought makes my eyes swell with tears. I turn away from the mirror to take a couple more deep breaths. What is going on with me tonight?

I look down at my shoes, then up to my dress, and finally back to my mother’s necklace. She would have to know now that her decision to marry me to Vito was the wrong choice. She made lots of wrong choices for me. What would she want for me now? Happiness? I touch my necklace again and start thinking about tonight. I am feeling kind of excited instead of nervous and there is another feeling... Regardless of the outcome of tonight’s audition, I am going to try to enjoy myself. It has been far too long.

One final look around my quaint little apartment to double check that I have everything. It is a smaller living space than what I am used to, but the idea of working hard to earn it for myself gives me a small bit of satisfaction. It’s a start, that’s for sure.

A couple more spritzers of my favorite perfume, an expensive French brand that I was able to sneak with me. I think I am officially ready to go. I walk over to the door and slip into a luxurious brown fur coat. The coat was a gift from a former acquaintance and comes with bitter memories, but again there is another time for that. All I need is to look like I have money and if I have to wear this coat to achieve that, then so be it. One last glance in the mirror before I grab my purse and walk out the door.

Once I am out of my apartment and onto the sidewalk I notice the sun is setting. Beautiful shades of orange, pink, and purple reflect off the surrounding skyscrapers. I am content enough to stand in the cold for a moment to appreciate the view.

After a few deep breaths of the cold night air I look around and take in the rest of my surroundings. Different colored bright signs light up in shop windows and more hang up above, going all the way down the street. Windows in each tall building start to light up in random patterns against the skylight. If I listen, I can hear the faint sound of a musician playing his fiddle on the sidewalk somewhere for spare change. It sounds happier tonight than most. People are walking up and down the streets in their colorful clothes and fur coats. I see a couple of extra colorful women standing on the curb, waiting to earn their pay for the night. Horns are honking and cabs are whipping by. There is a sudden change in the atmosphere as the city begins to come alive with the night. It’s intoxicating.

I stick my high heeled foot out and raise my hand into the air. Hailing a cab is surprisingly easy at this hour. It is warm inside the cab and I am thankful to be out of the January cold. As I hand the driver some money, I ask him to take me to The Moonlight Lounge.