To Have And To Hold

When Family Comes Together--And Falls Apart...

Chapter One: When Family Comes Together—And Falls Apart...

MADELINE

Standing on top of a platform in my parents’ bedroom at Mystic Fire, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, growing more and more anxious about the wedding that was going to be taking place in a little over a month. My wedding...

“Madeline, my darling, you’re fidgeting again,” Auntie muffled out, deep in concentration, her mouth full of pins that she was applying to the lace on the bodice of my white gown, “Hold still for me please—almost done.”

I fought against the growing anxiety inside. Auntie had been working tirelessly to make sure my wedding dress was perfect, even though there were many other things to worry about—including finding Arturo, who, according to her visions, wanted to make her own wedding to Horacio anything but perfect...

“Stop worrying, you look beautiful, Madeline,” Luminara encouraged beside me, taking another bite of blueberry scone—her favorite craving—as she looked down at her protruding round belly where her children were avidly making their presence known.

It brought a smile to my face as I watched the purple cotton of her long-shirred dress poking up intermittently on the top and sides of her stomach from their incessant kicking, leading Luminara to depressingly sigh out after swallowing her bite, “I’m the one who should be worried. Are you sure you want me standing up there with you? No offense, but I’m going to look like Beast in a dress.”

Tink almost choked on her bite of scone, letting out a raucous roll of laughter afterwards, “Now there’s a vision! My huge hunk of testosterone in a light blue frilly dress!”

I extended my hand out—which after seeing my frenzied gaze, Luminara took firm hold of—her eyes filled with adoration as I steadfastly reasoned out loud, “One, you’ve never looked more radiant. Two, Auntie would never allow that to happen. And most importantly, THREE—I need you, Vivian, Raven, and Lorelei to stand up there with me to remind me to breathe, speak, and not make a complete fool of myself —I can’t do this in front of hundreds of people without you three by my side!”

“Good thing for my big guy we are keeping it small,” Tink scoffed, “Otherwise, he would never get me down the aisle. I love him, but there is no way I would get married having all those strangers gawking at me.”

“Let’s be supportive, my sweet girl,” Auntie hummed out, as she put another pin in place, “Our Madeline is feeling enough pressure currently.”

There was a soft knock at the door before Nicholas called out, “How are things going in there? I can feel my beautiful bride panicking. Maybe a little rapid-fire would help.”

Taking the pins out of her mouth, Auntie sternly warned, “Don’t you dare come in, Nicholas! Link if you must, but I assure you, we’ve got things well in hand here!”

Take a deep breath for me, Madeline, Nicholas lovingly linked right after, Everything is going to be alright—our wedding will be perfect and Auntie’s will be too—everyone’s will. I love you and will be impatiently waiting to show you how boundless my love and devotion are now and for eternity. In fact, I am happy to meet you in your old room to work up our appetites—I’ll devour that gorgeous body of yours before we devour the lunch Auntie made—a win-win if you ask me!

You said rapid-fire—that was long-winded, I uneasily returned, looking over at Aruna, who was sitting on the other side of me, and I can’t believe you would even suggest that with your mother here! Even if it is tempting—what is it about my old childhood room that turns you on every time we come here?

Well, Mystic Fire is well known for mischievousness, Nicholas jovially returned, I think it has something to do with their Alpha. And as far as your old room—I know she’s just a doll, but I feel like I’m getting payback on M The Defender for stopping me from kissing you in there all those years ago. Rather satisfying actually—in so many ways. I’m sure Auntie would be willing to distract Mother with a walk to the Enchanted Garden to stretch their legs before lunch—while I take care of your temptation. In the meantime, just breathe, my Alpha—and I’m not just talking about your anxiousness—I can feel your anticipation for temptation and your scent just intensified ten-fold, so, if you will excuse me, I’m going to sweet talk Auntie now.

I had to stifle my giggles—my cheeks reddening as I heard Auntie’s muffled ones then humorously mutter under her breath, “A long walk, hmmmm?”—leading Luminara to softly fall into a fit of them mid-bite, as she knew Nicholas all too well...

I wish I could do that—take a deep breath. I haven’t been able to take one of those in a while, not even with Nicholas’ attempt just now. It had been a month since we found out about Arturo’s survival and that the remaining Blood Horizons had gone underground with Igor, but we still hadn’t found them. Raven and Auntie had been working together trying to conjure up visions but coming up with very little.

That was also another reason I was glad Luminara was here—it gave her a break from her protection detail Mahan and Badru had following her everywhere in case the Rogue Alpha, Igor, decided to strike, though currently I had the warriors waiting for her on the front lawn. Their constant presence made her feel suffocated, something I could identify with, both of us fiercely independent.

Looking at our fiercely independent Fairy Queen in the mirror, Auntie was putting the last few pins along the hemline as I was worried about what she had seen—the same vision of Arturo showing up at her wedding to strike against Auntie for foiling all his deadly plans and Horacio for scarring him for life during their last face-off—the permanent claw marks left on his face and neck from Horacio’s wolf undoubtedly a daily reminder of the deadly battle.

However, while remaining clear and focused most of the time—thanks to their connection and Auntie’s calming presence—Horacio was faltering slightly as of late, seemingly growing as anxious as I felt right now, feeling guilty that Arturo lived and worried not about himself—but Jillian, Auntie, and everyone else. Most of all, our King of Fury was worried about losing what he had waited over twenty-five years for—a happily ever after with his beloved Fairy Queen...

“Do not allow your nerves to ruin this special time, Madeline,” Aruna sweetly comforted, “Enjoy every moment, my dear. Tati has created a stunning gown for you. I’m so happy that she and I found the bolt of lace leftover from my wedding dress in one of the trunks in the attic to incorporate your ‘something old’ within it.”

Looking down at the delicate antique floral lace on my bodice, I forgot my worries for a second. My heart filling with warmth like it did every time I saw Aruna’s thoughtful gift for our special day. Auntie had come up with the perfect way to make it a part of my dress—the intricate embroidered scrollwork and tiny flowers gorgeously flowing up my waist to the lace of my plunging neckline. It meant so much to me that I would stand in front of Nicholas on our special day wearing something that was so dear to his mother’s heart from her wedding day to his father.

Running my finger around one of the scrolls, I lovingly breathed out, “Thank you again, Aruna. I can’t wait to see the surprise in Nicholas’ face when he finds out. It will mean so much to him that you were wearing this same material when you married Aldric.”

“It is lovely lace, Aruna—I think we may add it to Madeline’s train as well,” Auntie thoughtfully stated, standing up and walking around me as she scanned her work, “Alright. I think that will do for now, my darling. Let’s get you out of this and into our Nicholas’ arms, shall we? He’s checked in with me four times since he knocked on that door. I believe the groom is as anxious as his bride currently, both of whom need to stop worrying—all will be well, my darling.”

As she and Aruna helped me out of the dress, Auntie rattled off her large list of things to do today—next up was checking the fit of Luminara’s dress, as my best friend’s pregnancy with twins was changing her body almost daily. Following that, she was bringing Horacio over for lunch. And after lunch, she had plans to work with Tink on her wedding attire. Constance would be here soon for her session as well—Auntie’s seamstress work in full swing, packing her daily schedule and drowning her in several different bolts of lace.

Despite her already overflowing plate, Auntie still found time every day for late afternoon visits with Raven to try and locate Igor and the Blood Horizons before Horacio was done with his work at Spirit Walker, either bringing him to Crescent Moon or staying with him there. I had no idea how she was managing to do it all, especially as it hadn’t been all that long ago that we almost lost her completely—crushed and broken in her final stand-off with Frieda. If it hadn’t been for her immense magic and the powers of loved ones that helped her from above, we would have lost our beautiful bright light, devastating us all...

Once I was released from the confines of pins, satin, and lace, those thoughts had me suggesting, “You and Horacio should visit your cottage for a day or two, Auntie, or you can even stay here at Mystic Fire in the main house if you would like. You both seem to really love it here and could use a little getaway with the daunting pace you’ve been keeping as of late.”

Auntie thanked me for the kind offer but stated that both she and Horacio had too much on their schedules for a getaway—including the upcoming trial for Dusan—Horacio’s ill-fated gift from the Moon Goddess who refused him, just as he did her, fortunately. After an attempt to falsely reclaim what was no longer hers and planning to keep our Auntie out of her way by keeping her in a coma, Dusan was facing many charges that if I had my way, would keep her in prison for some time.

No sooner had we finished hanging up my dress in my parents’ walk-in closet, Nicholas walked through the door, obviously alerted by one—or all—of the ladies in the room that we were done.

A warmhearted smile crossed his handsome closely-shaven blonde bearded face—one that from the moment I met him struck chords of love in my heart—despite the fact that my initial fearful reaction was to refuse him thanks to a spell erasing all memories of our lives and true pack home at ten. As I turned around, his long strides had already brought him to my side, playfully tugging on the knot in the center of my black t-shirt—a shirt that was actually his—as he poked fun at me, “You’re going to be wearing one of my white shirts under your wedding dress, aren’t you?”

Auntie giggled, whispering to Aruna, “Well, it appears Nicholas hasn’t noticed that we’ve taken all his white shirts to make Madeline’s dress yet, though it does appear that I made the right call with the knots I’ve tied to hold it all together. He seems to enjoy those.”

Feigning wide-eyed shock and dismay, as Aruna, Luminara, and Tink laughed out loud, Auntie covered her mouth, gasping, “Oh my! I can’t believe I’ve just spilled the beans on Madeline’s wedding dress!”

Laughter filled the air then—including my own—but it was my family’s laughter that blanketed and calmed me in ways that made me once again appreciate that after years of struggle and feeling so very alone in the world at times, fate had finally freed me from that life—and brought me home...

**********

MAXIM

Sitting at a large ornate table in the middle of a vast spacious section of the underground home of our Rogue Alpha protector, Igor, I toyed with the salmon on my plate, feeling guilty that the rest of the now small army of Blood Horizons were feeding on scraps left from meals given days prior—except for Lucious, his family, and an almost fully-healed Arturo, though theirs were taken to their rooms—as my mother harshly chastised me, “Mind your manners, Maxim. Igor has gone to great lengths to get this food. Eat, now.”

“Now, now, Oralia, my dear,” Igor gently comforted, sitting at the head of the table beside her, placing his hand on top of hers, “As I told you yesterday, Maxim’s recent loss of appetite is more than understandable. The boy is seventeen and stuck in these depressing tunnels all day with no friends to speak of. He’s lonely.”

Swallowing hard, I made sure to sound sincere in my forced apology as I stabbed a piece of the fish on my fork, “I’m sorry, Igor—please know that I’m very appreciative of your generosity, kindness, and care towards us. And thank you for understanding my struggle.” Slowly placing the food on my tongue, I had to fight back my stomach’s urge to reject the offering, another hard swallow taken to get it down.

While Igor’s words were kind, from the moment I met him, I knew there was very little kindness in the man, “Always such a polite young lad—and from what I hear built to be a fantastic warrior and very driven. I admire that—especially when it is shown at an early age.”

I thanked him before returning my attention to the food on my plate—blocking Mother and Igor’s continued conversation about me and the plans they had for my life as best I could, losing myself in my own thoughts. He was right, I had no friends here, but that’s not what was bothering me currently. We had just recently lost my father, Kristoff, making my true struggle understanding how my mother could so easily cast his memory aside...

Surprise and dismay were the best way to describe it—my mother’s grief not lasting long. In fact, right after Arturo woke up, she went to Igor’s room to supposedly thank him—and I didn’t see her again until the next morning. When she did finally return, Mother was smiling brightly—happy—which at first was a pleasant surprise, until we joined Igor for lunch and dinner that day. Neither bothered to hide the reason for Mother’s gleeful state—the looks of desire between them disgusting me to my core.

Unlike her, I felt heavy guilt after my talk with Ursula and the temptation I felt when she offered to help me escape this life—because that choice would mean I was abandoning my mother, who I loved—a struggle I continued to bear with great confliction, especially now that she was with Igor, who I not only didn’t like, but I didn’t trust, and all but ignoring me except when she wanted to talk about vengeance against The Council and the role she wanted me to play...

Things had moved quickly between Mother and Igor. I was suddenly given my own large room in the north tunnel. Mother was given one as well—but in Igor’s quarters on the opposite end of the cavernous territory the Rogue Alpha secretly controlled—and every meal since that day has been had in his personal underground home in the tunnels.

While I worried about abandoning her, it doesn’t seem to bother Mother that the only time I see her now is at those three meals, leaving from them alone while she remains behind. But in truth, feeling like my father and their mate bond meant nothing to her, I have found myself grateful for the solitude and Lucious and Arturo have found themselves grateful that Mother is kept occupied. I didn’t have to constantly listen to what she expected from me—and they didn’t have to listen to her incessant complaining—a relief for all three of us.

My thoughts then went back to where they had gone often over the last month—to Ursula’s offer—which was becoming more and more tempting to me—especially as while I loved her—my mother’s actions were spurring me to go out and seek a life all my own. And after Igor’s actions following our lunch today, I would soon find that those feelings would intensify greatly...

Igor brought an excited smile to Mother’s face when he teased that there was a surprise waiting for her in her room—a new dress that he wanted her to try on—leading her to run from the table giggling while Igor laughed. The minute she left the room, however, two of his guards brought in a nervous-looking young girl who appeared to be around the same age as me.

Leaning back in his chair with a mischievous grin, Igor authoritatively urged, “Don’t look so anxious, Raphaela. I’ve brought you here to meet my Maxim—a fine young man for you to make new friends with—very kind, good looking, and full of well-toned muscles and vigor. Why don’t you come greet him properly?”

The pensiveness in her blue eyes faded into intrigue as Raphaela stared at me for a long moment—a grin slowly crossing her ivory oval face. Pushing her blonde hair over to the side, she slowly sauntered over to me with an expression of delight on her face that made me feel ill at ease—a feeling that heightened when she proceeded to sit down in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, amorously exhaling out, “Hello, Maxim. It appears I have been given quite a treat—and here I was worried that I had displeased Alpha Igor in some way.”

“You have never displeased me, Raphaela, and I’m counting on you to please our Maxim as only you know how,” Igor affably breathed out, “He needs his spirits lifted by your special gifts—treat him well for me, won’t you?”

“With pleasure, Alpha, thank you. He is so very handsome with his dark red hair and the loveliest green eyes!” Raphaela cooed, running her fingers through the back of my hair as I stuttered out, “I—uh—I’m okay, really.”

Raphaela giggled, moving her hands down my chest, “How sweet! My Maxim is shy! You are indeed a rarity around here, handsome.”

“Every man should be appreciated, Maxim, even a young man of seventeen,” Igor chuckled, “Allow yourself to have a little fun, son—satisfy your urges in any way you please. Raphaela is obviously quite taken with you. Go on, now. I have some things to take care of here. Maxim’s room is the large suite in the north tunnel, Raphaela—in case he forgets his way, thanks to your captivating beauty.”

Before I could reply, Raphaela jumped out of my lap, a wide grin on her face as she grabbed my hand and pulled me from the chair, continuing to giggle as she practically dragged me out of the room. The instant the door shut behind us, she whirled around, throwing her arms around my neck as she crashed her lips onto mine while I stood frozen in a stunned daze, laughing under her breath when she broke the kiss, “You even taste sweet! I’m going to enjoy you immensely! So much so, I think I’ll keep you!”

Grinding her hips against my torso, she sexily whispered, “You will want to keep me too when I’m done with you, because trust me, I can teach you things that will keep your spirits lifted like no one else around here can, Maxim!”

“I—can’t—do—this,” I breathlessly stammered out, placing my hands on her hips, and pushing her to the side, “I’m—I’m sorry!”

I saw her eyes widen in disbelief before I turned away from her, harshly calling after me as I ran down the hall, not knowing exactly where I was going—other than away from her. I didn’t want my first time to be with Raphaela—I wanted it to be with my mate. I wasn’t like them—my mother, Igor, or the Blood Horizons—I didn’t think or want to act like they did—and I never wanted to. I wasn’t sure how I would explain what I just did to Raphaela, but I didn’t care. All I cared about right now was getting away from her—from my mother—and most of all—from Igor!

Ever since that conversation with Ursula, I felt bad that part of me wanted to abandon my mother and the remainder of my pack—but now I felt abandoned by her, pressured by them, and miserable in this underground hell. I felt lost and alone—a feeling that was pushing me towards making a decision that would change my entire life and literally leave me on my own in the world...