SLEEPING MY WAY INTO YOUR HEART

CHAPTER 6

The fact that I had not eaten anything besides an apple was forgotten with the glass empty. I sat back, looking around the table seeing all the fresh and beautiful fruits which were a compliment from the owner. In the basket there were also these small expensive chocolates that I wanted to eat badly but then the calories were something that had me look away. I was hungry, too hungry for fruit and I had to wait for him to order.

I sat back, my eyes drifting to him as he typed something on his phone then went reading something else. He did not look back my way even by mistake, he just took all his attention away, leaving me sitting there. I took out my phone, sitting back on my chair and I put the phone on silence before snapping the picture of the table while pretending to be fixing my lipstick. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if he caught me taking the picture, I posted it making sure to write the name of the restaurant because not anyone could eat here, only those with more than six figures in their bank accounts. My phone was placed down as my hand went plugging a grape and slipping it in my mouth and chewing. In time I found myself having ate a whole bunch of them with shame suddenly settling on how much I was eating but what was I supposed to do because I was dead hungry?

I took up the menu and opened it. I could see the pictures and everything looked exquisite but then I tried to read the names of the dishes and it all went to hell. It was like the letters were blended together not being able to pronounce anything. I went flipping, looking for something I could pronounce for when the manager came back but nothing. I saw the heading of the salads but even they had their own names that were so complicated it had me fear. What would I do when they asked what I would eat, I could not even try to pronounce them. The words had x’s and v’s leaving me wide eyed. My eyes then drifted to the prizes but there were none which had me wary. What if I bought something then Mr Stranger walked out and I was left me with the bill. I only had three hundred in my purse and I needed to order something I could pay for just in case he bailed. It had happened before, had went out with a guy and he had told me we would split the bill, the shock of my life, I had took out the last two hundred I had had and was left with nothing for a date I had not even wanted.

My eyes picked up as the manager came back carrying a note pad and pen. The man looked nervous, he looked like he would collapse with his face as if constipated, it was funny but at that moment I was at my own dilemma. I took up the menu again, flipping it to the salads, trying to see how I would pronounce them in my head but that was a dead end. Sweat broke through my forehead and I shifted in my seat.

“Caviar…” Mr Stranger called out, the word slipping from his mouth as if melted butter. My eyes flickered to him as he kept springing out words, the waiter writing everything down as fast as he could. I was mesmerised, staring at his lips move as the words sprung out. This man was something else, I bit my lower lip, admiring this force of a man before me. He stopped, turning back to his phone to type something, it was then that my heart went crazy. I watched as the waiter finished what he was doing then turned back to me and I wished I would disappear.

“What about you miss?” The manager asked, ready to write everything down as I looked down at the menu then back up. I swallowed, the room suddenly too hot for me. I cleared my throat again and opened my mouth.

“A salad please,” I spat the words so fast with the manager pausing then clearing his throat.

“We have the ….” He pronounced the words and I knew there had been no why I could have said that. I swallowed, trying to remember how he had pronounced them but s**t it had escaped me.

“The second one.” I said holding my head high, feeling the embarrassment wash over me. The manager frowned before writing it down. I took a deep breath and looked up to see Mr Stranger staring back at me with his scary yet dead gorgeous stare and I knew what he was thinking, he shook his head and went back to his typing. My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach as I quickly spoke up.

“I will also have a steak and fries.” I added things I did not want, could just see the calories but I did not want Mr Stranger to look at me as if saying ‘you are one of those girls’. Yes I was one of those girls who ate nothing and starved themselves to death, yes I was all about my looks but that was because they were all I had, because I had been fat in my life and worked hard for the body I had right now.

“We do not serve ‘fries’.” The manager said back having me look up to see his frowned face. The shame was too much, the manager stared back at me as if I had grew two heads. I wished the floor could open up and swallow me, I just wanted to go home, wanted to lock myself in my room and never get out.

“Potatoes.” I said back, well, I would take what I could get, they should have potatoes, I mean, every restaurant has potatoes right? One way or the other.

The manager cleared his throat and wrote something.

“Should your steak be rare, medium rare or well done?” He asked.

What did that mean? I did not know what that meant. I stared back at him as he stared back at me, having me more nervous. I bit my lower lip and let go of it. Well, I knew something rare was something special and not easily accessible. I knew this because I goggled it when I was obsessed with Selena Gomez’s song. I knew how to answer him, I smiled, and finally happy I could answer something I knew.

“Rare.” I shot back so confidently.

“Are you sure miss?”

The manager asked as I nodded with such confidence. I just could not wait to see how it would be, it would definitely be delicious. If I was going to have a cheat day I might as well enjoy myself, lord knew I was so hungry and the last time I ate anything besides a salad and fruit was four months ago, yep, that was how dedicated I was.

“I will be back with your food soon,” The manager said, even giving a tiny bow to the man sitting before me having me arch my brow. Who exactly was this man? I did not know anything about him and I could not stay quiet anymore. I stared at him, trying to speak but my nerves had caught up and I was barely even breathing. I opened my mouth only to close it, I said the words in my head a thousand times over but just could not spill them out.

“Sorr….y” I finally said, nearly choking myself. My voice sounded like an old thing even to my ears and I was freaking out. I watched as he looked up at me from his phone which seemed to keep him so entertained.

“Can I please ask your name?”

His reaction was priceless, he arched a brow, frowned then relaxed his face again. My heart was drumming at this point and I was sure he could see my chest rise and fall so violently. My palms were sweaty as I stared back at him. He seemed to be in thought, looking so cute having me look at the table only to look back up.

“Do you always go out with guys you don’t know?” The question came, his voice anything but nice, his voice was always harsh, grazing my skin and leaving it burning. I swallowed, my heart even faster as I stared back at him. He sat up, his eyes as if reading through me. This man had power, it was not something he lacked for he was born with it. You could see in the way he carried himself, you could hear it in his voice, he was power itself and for the first time with him I felt afraid, not that he would hit me or something but of all the things he could do to me without even a sweat, the ruin he would cause, he could basically make me disappear.

“No,” I said back, my voice low. He sat up, his elbow leaning on the table, the dark aura around him seeming to multiply. I licked my lips, the room hot with everything disappearing, leaving just me and him. My legs were shaking, he had my knees weak just from one stare and I was left bare for him. He stared at me for the longest of time before plugging a grape from the basket and sitting back with his eyes back on his phone. I watched him mesmerized, could not tear my eyes from him as my heart broke and taped itself back together again for he was heaven and hell, for the devil was once an angel.

“Mathew,” I nearly missed it, it nearly flew past me but I caught it, my eyes drifting to him finding him sitting in his chair as if he had not said anything. It was just a simple name yet on him it felt like something magical. I said it in my head, saying it over and over again so many times it was practically branded at the back of my skull.

“I am Julia.” I said back with a smile.

“I know who you are.” He said back without even looking my way having me swallow and stare at my shaking hands then at the table a few feet from us. I saw the man sitting across with a girl who looked like me; full make up, sexy dress yet they seemed to be having a time of their lives. They touched hands, brushing skin and giggling now and again. I saw the ring on his finger but knew she was not his wife, it was in the way he looked at her, it was the same way most men looked at me; as if you were a snack. I looked away, sitting back and sighing. I did not know which was worse, being looked at like a snack or the way Mathew stared at me, he stared at me like I was just nothing special, he just stared and did not even spare a second glance. I was nothing special to him, he had seen so many girls and I was just another statistic in his book. I looked at my hands, feeling the dull ache that shot through. Was I even pretty? Maybe I was not as pretty as I thought I was, I would never be enough for him.

Mathew’s phone soon rang and he picked it up, speaking through the phone with him changing languages now and again having me stare with such awe. My own native language was kicking my ass now imagine learning another language. If he was hot then, he was definitely blazing now. I swallowed, and in that moment I made a promise to myself, in that moment I swore to fight tooth and nail for I would hold on to him with everything I had. He was all I wanted in a man, he was all I ever dreamed of and if I had not fought for anything in my life then I would fight for this.

“Your food.”

My head looked up, the manager back with the waiter from before standing behind him. The manager held a matte black plate which he placed down carefully in front of Mathew. I was shocked really, I had never seen food cooked so fast and my eyes fell on Mathew’s plate which looked like something from a picture. Whatever it was, it looked beautiful and there was a sauce drizzled on the plate having me afraid of how he would eat it, it was not meant for eating. I bit my lip, thinking of if only I could get a picture but how could I manage that.

The manager stepped away and the boy behind him came placing my food down. I licked my lips, so excited, I could not wait to just dig in. He placed a bowl of the salad that looked good itself then placed the other plate down that had me frozen where I was. In front of me was a steak that looked like they had just threw it past a fire for a second and put in a plate. I could see the blood collecting on the plate and my body shuddered. My eyes were wide with me looking up at the waiter, him looking back at me with glazed eyes. I stared back at the plate then back up at him causing him to look at the plate too. The waiter did not seem to see something wrong with the plate but as I looked back down I knew that steak was not cooked, not even in the slightest, they had just browned it just a little but besides that nothing. My eyes trailed to the golden potatoes which were dipped in a creamy golden sauce and that had my mouth water but then the problem went back to the steak.

I was not the person to complain about anything, I always kept my head down and mouth shut but for the first time I really wanted to voice out the issue here because what would I do with this steak? I felt like vomiting just from staring at it. My heart pound, could not believe I was going to speak up for myself. My hands went sweaty with my mouth opening but nothing came out. I swallowed, a lump on my throat. I looked up at the boy and called him with my hand, mentioning for him to come closer. The boy seemed dazed, staring at me shamelessly and could not even help himself so it did not take much time for him to walk closer. I mentioned for him to come even closer with my hand having him bend over to get closer.

“My steak is not cooked.” I whispered to him seeing the confusion in his face with his eyes trailing back to the plate. The boy straightened up, looking back at his boss then back at me.

“I am sorry miss, didn’t you say your steak should be rare?” The boy said out loud having me nearly punch him I swear. I cleared my throat, shifting in my seat, why had he shouted?

“Is something wrong?” Mathew asked having my eyes wide with a response springing out of my mouth.

“No, everything is perfect.” I answered, clearing my throat and giving him a smile as he sat up, nodding his head. I watched as he turned, looking at the manager and waiter probably wondering what they were still doing there. The two quickly scurried away leaving me staring at the large piece of meat, I did not know what to do with it. I took the fork and stabbed on the salad. In minutes the whole thing had disappeared, I had been so hungry. I followed with the potatoes yet my heart was still racing because of the steak, I stared at it after eating my potatoes and it was still as raw as a few minutes ago. The potatoes went by quickly, so delicious I wanted more with the sauce gone along with it.

Everything was gone leaving nothing but the steak staring back at me, it was so large, a whole plate of it and I felt my stomach churn. There was more blood, just making a pool underneath the large piece of meat. I swallowed, looking at Mathew who was elegantly eating his food, I looked back at my plate as he picked up his glass of wine and took a sip. His eyes trailed to me then to the steak having me give him a bright smile with the knife and the fork tearing through the meat, I cut a small piece and all that I saw was red. My hands shook, my eyes following my hand as I brought the fork in my mouth and with much courage I slipped the piece in my mouth and it was horror. I was eating raw meat, how bad could this night get? I could feel the blood drip from my lips having my body shudder but that was not the worst part. I still had to chew as the piece of steak was just sitting in my mouth. My teeth moved, sinking in the meat and I nearly spat it back out, It was disgusting in the most possible way with the texture just wrong. It tasted so bad and I could not help the face of horror as I chewed. I swallowed and for a second it seemed everything would be alright but then I looked at the plate and it was a long way to go. My stomach was turning yet I cut another piece and as soon as I cut some blood came oozing off.

“Oohh lord.” I could not help the words as more blood came having me swallow. My eyes moved up and locked with stormy ones watching me. I swallowed, smiling or trying to with the fork coming to mouth. The second piece slipped in and I was chewing.

“How is your food?” Mathew asked having me nod my head, trying to smile yet the scowl was there with me chewing and trying not to vomit. It was a disaster and I watched as he sat back, wiping his mouth and chuckling before taking his phone while shaking his head. I swallowed, looking down at my plate and I knew I was not going back for another bite. I felt bad, what a waste, you could see that it was the best steak there was and it was going to waste.

I poured myself a glass of wine and washed down the ironic taste in my mouth, the wine was so nice, it just slid through my tongue leaving it tingling. My eyes closed on their own, having a food-gasm at how good it was, the taste was distinct and I was obsessed. My eyes trailed to the name and as expected I could not read it. I looked over to Mathew to see if he would see me taking a picture but there was no way he would miss it and in a matter of fact I was sure he was watching me at that point from the corner of his eye. I placed the bottle down before I dropped it and took another sip of the wine. I sat back on my chair so embarrassed at all I had done, such shame. My eyes trailed back to the steak and I quickly looked away. It was a disaster. I made it point to search what rare really meant when I got to the house.

“Are you ready to leave?” His voice came and it washed over me like a shower of rain on a desert. I swallowed, loving the effect it had on me as my eyes trailed to him. I was too dazed to even speak as I nod my head. He pushed his chair back and stood up, my daze snapped as I quickly stood up.

“Uhm, the bill, can I pay for my food?” I said, more like asked, as I took my purse and quickly opened it. The three hundred that had been there was all there was. I looked up finding Mathew staring back at me with an arched brow. My heart pumped, I wanted to show that I did not want his money, wanted to show that I could take care of myself but that three hundred was all the liquid cash I had. I was burning through money like crazy and kept telling myself that something would come up yet business was as dry as an old woman’s private parts.

He did not say anything, pushing his chair back as the manager was there in a split second not even sure where he came from.

“Bill.” Mathew simply said and the manager went scarring away. I licked my lips, taking out the three hundred and closed my purse. Three hundred was a lot, right? Half my make-up cost that amount and my make-up was the best so I guess three hundred was a lot. I held it in my hand, fixing my dress with me also pushing back my chair. My eyes then went to all the gifts they had given us, the free wine we had not even touched with all the fruits and chocolates, were we just going to leave it there? I thought about taking it but then what if he did not want it in his car. I took a deep breath, my eyes catching the manager who was back, walking so fast I thought his legs would break. The receipt case was placed down in front of Mathew who opened it and looked at the receipt. Expensive chocolates were in the case along with the receipt which Mathew glanced at before taking out his purse. I put my three hundred on the case with such confidence, ‘maybe my money was enough to pay for both of our meals’. I smiled, moving from my side of the table and ready to leave. I watched as Mathew took out dollars, seeing the papers float to the table. They just kept coming from his purse which was packed if I had to mention. I froze seeing that it was hundreds that kept coming and it had me question what the bill actually was. I swallowed, taking a step closer and shamelessly looking at the receipt only to chuckle. I coughed, closing my mouth with my hand. I was seeing a lot of zeros, my three hundred had two zeros’s, right? Well, what I saw there had many more than three, there were a lot of zeros there. I cleared my throat, looking away. By the time Mathew was done there was a lot of cash on the table. The manager was collecting it and when done Mathew slipped back his purse and took the three hundred I had placed down. My face was red, what confidence I had. I stared down, thinking of asking for my money back, I could do a lot with it really, I actually really needed it.

“This is your tip.” He said giving the manager my three hundred. I bit my tongue, stupid me just giving away money. I was never doing that again, there were no splits here. I was broke now and someone was rich with my money. I swallowed, staring down with Mathew turning to leave as I followed. My heels clicked, my hair falling to my sides, brushing against my skin as I flagged it away. The night was a disaster, felt as if I had made a fool of myself yet I could not help but wonder if he would take me back to his penthouse. A large part of me wanted him to take me with him and I could already see the things we would do. I craved him, craved his kisses and his touch, it was addictive, he was addictive, just one taste and I was hooked. I felt as if I would go crazy and my underwear was already soaking in my juices. I bit my lower lip as we walked outside. A breeze kicked in, cool wind brushing through my skin having me shiver and wrap my arms around my body. It was nippy outside. Something was draped around my shoulders and I jumped, looking up at him to see him fixing his jacket on my shoulders. My heart went drumming, shying away with my cheeks turning red. I could not help it, my heart was miles away, my mind already picking names for our grandchildren. I was stolen, I was high in his drug and everything he did or said drew me even closer. My arms slipped through the arms of the jacket feeling the warmth from him wearing it. His cologne clouded my nose and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever smelt. I held on to the edge of the sleeves, a smile tugging with me not being able to hide it. I was like a child with a sweet, wanted to jump around and freak out yet I stood there.

“Thank you.” I said politely.

The car was soon before us and the door was opened for me by the valet, I slipped in, the door closing behind me. I took this moment to take a deep whiff and pull the jacket even closer. It was pure heaven, pure bliss and my world seemed to explode with fireworks. I was warm inside out, I did not want the moment to end, did not want the feeling to fade as I held on the jacket. The driver’s door opened and he slipped in, and closed the door. He adjusted in his seat and pushed the gear to drive. The car moved and I soon clipped on my seat belt. Silence spread as we ate the miles before us.

My eyes were on the road and the more he drove the more sadness washed over me. I blinked, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. He turned a corner and I could just see my street. I swallowed, a lump on my throat. I did not want to part from him, did not want to go home. I could just see my apartment, cold and empty. I held on to the edge of the jacket, trying to hold on to the smell and warmth for later. I wished the road could stretch and we would drive all night, I just wanted to be with him, get more time. It was crazy, I had just met him yet he came at a time where loneliness had nearly drove me insane. The car slowed down, me counting the seconds until it had stopped on the road. I held on to the seat belt, I did not want to get out yet there was nothing else to do than step out. I unclipped the belt as the door just besides me went opening, lord, it was as if he was chasing me away. I took off his jacket so slowly, passerbys already staring to see who would step out. My leg slipped out then the other and soon I was standing in the side walk with his jacket placed on the chair. I watched as the door closed behind me, watched as he took of speeding without even a glance back leaving me shivering by the steps, blinking tears away. I swallowed, my hands shaking as I turned around and walked up the stairs. The way to my apartment was long and by then my shoulders were sagging with my way to the bathroom clear. I could feel the food weigh heavy on my stomach, could feel my body just stretch. I locked the door, took off my shoes followed by the dress. My feet carried me to the bathroom with everything that had been on my body discarded by the way. I switched on the light, walked in and went straight to the toilet bowl. My knees hit the floor as my hand slipped deep in my mouth. I gagged, pushing the hand deeper to gag harder until I felt all the food come back out. I vomited in the toilet, my tears streaming down as my stomach crunched over and over again with all those potatoes coming out until there was nothing but saliva coming out, until I took all those calories out.