Final Steps
842 Words
"What's the thing you're going to miss the most?" Finn asks while lighting his cigarette.
"Chocolate, maybe? But it's one of the reasons why I'm here, after all. You?"
"My dog." He exhales slowly and adds "But my brother will take care of it. Mitzie has always loved him more, anyway."
"You named that huge Irish wolfhound Mitzie?"
"Well, yeah- she is nice, mind you."
We both force a laugh ad I look at our feet.
"How's the leg? "
"The doctor said I'd never be able to run again. “
“Never?”
“Never. So yeah-who'd want a crippled player. That's like a..." he makes a vague gesture with his hand.
"A blind painter?"
"Exactly."
"Yeah, what if Picasso was blind…" I trail off, "no one would believe he could draw."
"He couldn't anyway."
“Idiot.”
We laugh for real at that. I look up at the gray sky and squint my eyes. "No sunset today, I guess."
My feet are dangling off the edge of the rooftop we’re sitting on and I look down "It is quite high."
He follows my gaze and peeks down too.
"That's the point. Are you getting the heebie-jeebies?"
"The what? No, come on."
"Yeah, says the girl who was scared of Helga." He mocks me and I push him lightly on the shoulder.
"Of course, I was, she was like... the scariest nurse ever. She checked if we’ve taken all our medication and not, I don’t know, secretly thrown the stuff away.”
"Yeah. But still – she wasn’t as scary as that guy in my room, what was his name?"
"Mike?"
"No, Mike was the old dude, the alcoholic one. Jack?"
"By the way- I heard Jack's better now, actually getting back to school."
"Oh, yeah? And you thought he'd relapse and die."
"I never said that, Finn!" I exclaim and punch him again, this time hard.
"Ouch, that hurt. “He rubs the spot, exaggerating the pained expression on his face. “You've been training recently?"
"All that weight serves its purpose, right; it's what the jokes and remarks were for, so..."
He frowns, then stubs his cigarette out "f**k them, they can't do anything to you anymore."
"Yeah." I pull the sleeves of my hoodie, but then I remember he's seen my hands and knows about the scars. "Did you say goodbye to your parents?"
"Nah, they're in France. You? Did you say anything to your mother?"
"She..." I stutter and I feel my eyes filling with tears, but I quickly swallow them back and put myself together. I take a deep breath and say. “No, besides she has a new family now. Her husband’s great, by the way. “
“Yeah. And my baby brother’s on his way, so… “
“Yeah, he’ll need all her attention now.” He props himself on his elbows and fixes his eyes on something in the distance. After a while he says
“When none of our classmates came to see us. “
“Which is weird, considering you’re the captain of the team? I mean, were, before the injury. I’ve always been a nobody, but you… “
“Come on, Blue. No one cares about you if you’re down. “
A deep frown forms on his forehead and I wish I could do something to change the stupid world we live in. Or the people. Something, anything…
But I can’t. And he can’t, so he only says.
"Are you ready?"
“No. You? “
“Me neither.’
He gets up and helps me stand up next to him on the edge. I take a final look around the place I've always hated.
"You know, I never told him I liked him."
"He knew, anyway," Finn says.
"I know he was the one who told the whole school about me, right? that I was in the hospital?"
"Yes."
We're both quiet for a while and he says, " And I didn't finish the book I was reading."
"What was it?"
"The Catcher in the Rye."
The winds blowing, playing with his hair. We’re standing on the top of one of the taller buildings of our small town, so it feels like this high up, the wind’s much stronger. I look down at the almost empty street "No fields here, but he might catch us somewhere on the other side?"
"I guess. We'll soon find out.” He makes another step closer to the edge and asks again.
“Last chance to change your mind, Blue.”
“I’m not giving up,” I say, with all the determination I can master right now. “By the way, I never asked - why do you call me Blue?”
He turns around and looks at me.
“Because you have the bluest eyes I have ever seen.”
Finn smiles. I see him smile for the first time since I got closer to him. Since the once most-popular boy at school became my closest friend. And I became his.
“They aren’t,” I say and look back down.
He laughs. “Let me have my own opinion, okay?”
“Okay…”
“So- are you ready?’
"Always. You?"
“Since forever. Hey, you aren’t going to run away at the last minute, are you?"
“You think I’m a coward and I’ll just leave you?”
“No, but…you know. “
“Here, take my hand, Finn.” I outstretch my hand and ask, “Do you trust me now?"
He pauses and takes my hand in his much bigger one and says, "I trust you."
I hold tight to his hand and we both take our final step.
- Writer
