Tackling Her Obsession with the Tight End

Chapter 2: Sarah's Thoughts

Sarah

Two weeks after Violet and Sean's wedding

I stare down at the picture of me, Liam, Caylee, Beth, Dalton, Sean and Noah. Aunt Sofie had me for the night because of the school play. Caylee and Beth were in it too. Aunt Delaney had my twin sister, Maggie at ballet practice with Uncle Manny taking Chad, our big brother to his piano lessons. Mom was away taking care of Bisabuela after a round of chemotherapy. This was two years before she died due to breast cancer. She raised Mom from when she was three, when her biological mother, Ana ran off with another boyfriend. Ana was killed in a car accident a few years later. Her biological father died when Mom was a year old and Ana went off the deep end. Mom said she never thought of her as a mother. Bisabuela was her mom in every sense that counted.

While Mom was away for long periods of time taking care of Bisabuela, we would stay with Dad unless he was working. Or he was helping coach Chad’s little league football team though they were more than used to seeing us on the sidelines. Chad was a regular at our softball games, which Dad also coached. Baylor Larson was always a hands-on father in everything we did. He was an only child and explained to us how he longed for a sibling to play with. His parents spent lots of time playing with him and he never forgot that. Therefore, he threw himself into anything we were doing. Board games, tea parties, princess dress up, building stuff, sword fights, you name it. He also had no shame enjoying whatever event he was at, sometimes to our embarrassment.

Mom would join in with him. She was an only child too and knew exactly how Dad felt. Quit her job as a labor and delivery nurse to stay home with us when Chad was born. She worked as a part-time nurse at the hospital when we hit middle school. She loved being part of an extended family.

Our family’s village rallied around us to help out like they always did. I didn’t realize how important they all are until much later. The blessing that is this crazy group. How special a world I got to grow up in. Filled with love, acceptance and laughter. I remember being shocked at the age of eight to find out that Aunt Sofie was not really my aunt. Pop wasn’t my other real grandfather besides Paw Paw. The judge is still out on that one I swear, because my dad has some Arthur Riles in his DNA. The knowledge Uncle Bennett and Uncle Clint were only good friends and ex-teammates with Dad stymies people that see them together to this day. They loved us like we were their own and during some nights and weekends, we were. Aunt Delaney, who loved to take me shopping, was only my mom’s friend. I could go on and on. We were never short on love growing up.

This photo sits on Aunt Sof’s shelf and I asked her for a copy of it the last time I was home. She made it along with a few others from the same time period. I haven’t looked at them yet because I am sure they are of Liam and I. She handed them over and hugged me. Didn’t say a word, just embraced me like she did when I’d cry to her as a young teenager. She was the one I always ran to when another kid said something hurtful about my weight or how my sister was prettier than I was. Maggie was my mother’s carbon copy. Light brown silky hair with dark blue eyes and a golden tan. Mom took after her father completely. We shared the same height at five-nine but that was it. I had black wavy hair that was so thick it could have covered two heads. My eyes were hazel like Dad’s and I had porcelain skin. I took after my paternal grandmother a lot Dad always said. Maggie and Mom were svelte beauties, but I was always chubby growing up. In my senior year of high school, my shape finally changed. My stomach flattened out, but I had a full chest and hips with fuller thighs than most. Partly from genetics and partly from softball. Maggie frequently expressed how envious of my hourglass figure she was, but I never believed her. She was always complimented and fawned over by everyone while I was laughed at. I endured more than enough taunting about my weight. Maggie threatened plenty with violence for their words along with our circle. My two best friends, Caylee Jameson and Violet Mitchell would always console me and dish out their own threats. Violet was like Maggie; tall, thin with a model gorgeousness. Caylee was similar to me. A little shorter and she had curves, but was thinner than me. However, Caylee had confidence. Her mama, Aunt Sofie, drilled that into her kids, never wanting them to doubt themselves. My parents tried, but kids are cruel and their insults never left my ears.

Aunt Sof understood what it was like to think you didn’t measure up. That you felt you didn’t belong among the beauties around you. Even if it was days later, I’d go tell her what happened. And she would do her best to erase their words. Mom tried hard, but your mom is your champion and of course she would say she thought I was beautiful and perfect.

I almost broke down in Aunt Sof’s arms holding this photo. She knows I hurt Liam; I’d be willing to bet my life on it. There’s not much our family misses. Their silence about us just meant they chose to overlook it and hope Liam and I could get past what I did to him. And we haven’t. It’s been over a year now. I promised Caylee I would make it right. For her, for our families, for Liam and for me too. Liam most of all. He deserves better than what happened.

Caylee and Noah are engaged now and I’m over the moon for them. They deserve to be happy together. I swear Noah has belonged to her since they were like five. She never believed Violet or I when we’d give subtle hints about going after him. I warned her off Joey knowing she was about to make the same mistake I did. Falling for that quick charm that works hard to isolate you. Violet and I agreed to let her make her own mistakes when she seemed happy. It clawed at me though and I did flat out tell her to break up with him about three months in. When he freaked out because he planned a surprise dinner with takeout only to find Vi and I in her apartment eating already. That was the line of no return for him in my eyes. I recognized it fully for what it was as he not only crossed it but leapt five feet over it. The line of possessive obsession. That’s not a chalk line that can be moved for me but more like a permanent one dug ten feet into the ground and painted there. When she revealed later on that he was obsessed with Noah, it made sense. I recalled his face when Noah stopped by once. I had thought it was extreme jealousy. If only I’d known it was, but also tinged with complete obsession to hurt him. He's changed so much now and is an honorary family member. Still a little weird to see him since I remember how he acted while dating her. But he's the perfect example of how our family will take you in and love you.

My phone goes off as I hit send on a message to Liam.

When you’re ready, I really want to explain everything to you better. I wasn’t honest with you Liam and I need to be. You deserve better. Just keep that in mind. You text, I’ll be there. Please don’t let what happened erase all our years of friendship.

I expect no answer. Eventually I see he read it. I suppose I should be glad he hasn’t blocked me already.

Mentally bracing myself, I open the new message I ignored.

Be at the club at eight. Wear something discreet. We have a deal to close with a big client.

I quickly reply with my assent and lean back closing my eyes. When I get nothing in return, I am less worried that I took too long.

Now to have lunch with Mom and Dad before heading back to my apartment. I make my way downstairs and find Dad sitting with Mom and Chad at the big kitchen island. I’m not even sure why we have a dining table. We eat at the island more than anywhere else. Chad’s stealing grapes off the tray in front of him as he talks. “Eli and Amelia seemed to click. He’s taken her out three more nights since then.” Eli is the last member of his friend quintet including Liam, Sean and Noah.

I sit in the chair next to him that Dad is pulling out. “Thanks Dad.” He kisses my head before he moves toward the stove to help Mom talking over his shoulder.

“Always should be treated like a lady. Don’t let the next fortunate yet undeserving moron forget that.”

Chad laughs, muttering for my ears only as he gives me a wicked side eye. “He’s been raised better. At least the one she should be with.”

I elbow him and he winces. He might be six foot four and a damn talented speedy running back in the NFL, but Maggie and I know where to hurt him. My brother is a blind, bumbling fool when it comes to his own love life and being perceptive. Mine and my twin Maggie’s, not so much. He’s been hoping Liam and I would end up together for a long time, though he never says anything about it.

“Leo is moving in with Magpie in two weeks. He claims he doesn’t need help.” Dad brings plates over, eyeing Chad skeptically. Chad introduced Leo and Maggie after Maggie's last asshole boyfriend made fun of Leo's game injury. Leo and Chad are teammates. He fits in great with our family, with even Pop accepting him quickly. Which said a lot. Arthur Riles has initiation questions and rules for becoming a member of Nutville, the name he and Aunt Sof came up with for our family.

“Probably doesn’t. He was living with his brother and hadn’t bought much house wise.” Chad answers as we begin eating.

“I offered.”

“It’s ok, Dad. Not everyone needs this family circus’s help.” I tell him softly.

“But everyone should know we’re always available to help no matter what is going on. In any way, as much or as little as is needed. Because that’s been our motto since we formed this non-blood family.” I struggle not to squirm under his sharp gaze. My father is no fool. I’ve worked hard not to bring my family into my issues; the things that claw at me keeping me awake at night. Because I am the one who screwed up and they don’t need to have to choose sides or be entangled in the stupidity of my life. I already did that to Caylee. My sister from another mother. She’ll stick with Liam, which is what's right. He’s a fantastic big brother and deserves her loyalty. She'd been so upset with me. It had physically hurt to see the way she looked at me. Knowing I was the only one to blame for it. I committed the crime and then omitted to tell her what happened. Two strikes in our lifelong friendship.

“I need to head home and finish a job I’ve been putting off.” I tell them as I rinse my plate off.

“You’ll be here for the engagement barbecue?” Mom asks as she hugs me.

“Wouldn’t miss it, Mom.” I won't be skipping this like I have other events. Making things easier for Liam so he didn't have to avoid me, which had been painfully obvious to see. If I could make life easier on him, that was my main goal the last year and a half. But things are changing finally....hopefully. Maybe I can corner Liam then and convince him to listen. I may need my brother to tackle him for me. It’s in a month. I can only pray by then the timing will be right.