Farfalla

1.

"Mia!" My eyes shot open upon hearing a gunshot in my ears. It rang out in my ears while I frantically searched for a body to hold me. My breathing was rapid and quick, my chest moving up and down quicker then I could control. Sweat was beading over my forehead and sliding down my neck from my panicked state.

"It was just a dream," Louis spoke out pulling me into his chest knowing that his body contact usually calmed me down. My heart was beating in my ears slowly decreasing in beats when Louis soothed me by holding me tight. This happened often, every night when the lights were switched off I felt the same uneasiness creep over me.

"No, it wasn't." I shook my head denying Louis' methods to helping me come back to a resting heart rate. "That's what makes it terrifying, it was real."

"I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you." My blood pressure began to depress from its high state. Everything going from 100 back down to zero, my energy draining when Louis retracted back into a laying position with me still clinging to him.

Still, at the age of twenty years old I had night terrors and fears of the dark. I hadn't gotten over any of the childish fears I had had since I was four years old. I hadn't moved on from them because every time I closed my eyes I found myself in the stuffy closet with my hands pressed against my ears. I heard the shot that stung my ears and the man's voice I had pictured as the big bad wolf from the three little pigs, the story my father used to read me. I told myself it wasn't real, that it was only a dream but that was the worst part about it all; my dream had been a reality. I relived the same event every night when I closed my eyes to try and find peace, there was no going gently into that good night.

Sitting up again I brought my legs to a bent position where I propped my elbows on my knees and sighed deeply. Running my fingers through my hair I told myself that I should be less afraid, that what happened in the past could never happen again. I was under too much surveillance for even a small mistake to slip through the supervision. It had to be this way ever since that night a four-year-old girl's home was invaded, creating her worst nightmare.

"Come lay with me." Louis coaxed sitting up to my same level. His voice was cracked and raspy from being interrupted from a proper nights sleep.

"I'm sorry." I turned my downward gaze to Louis with my long blonde stands slightly impairing my vision. I hated the dark and because of it, I told Louis a night light was essential in the bedroom if we were to live together. He thought I was kidding at first but learned quickly that I was completely serious in the need for a small pool of light while the dark-clouded around the rest of the room.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. Just try to relax." Louis lightly lead me back to putting my head on his chest. My arm was bent and laid on his chest while I did my best to quiet my thoughts and find it in me to get some sleep. Letting my eyelids flutter I decided not to fight the urge to sleep knowing that I was going to need at least some rest to run off of tomorrow. Louis' hand gently ticked my back lulling me to sleep even more from the comforting gesture my body loved in times of stress.

Groaning to the sound of my phone going off I nuzzled myself more into Louis that snored lightly next to me. Knowing I hadn't changed positions in the remaining sleep, I had I pulled the blanket over me and cuddled into Louis. The only time I found sleep easier was in the early morning when I knew the sky wasn't cloaked with darkness, I basked in the light that was beginning to peek into the early morning sky. Again my phone went into a chorus of rings bringing me to the reality that whoever was calling wasn't going to give up on reaching me. Coming off of Louis I leaned over to the side table that bore my phone vibrating against the wood.

"Hello?" My voice was groggy and all that encompassed a morning voice. I didn't bother to open my eyes from any of this but rather kept them closed knowing that as soon as they were open they would remain that way.

"Mia? Did I wake you?" The voice on the other side sounded that of my father. I became somewhat alerted by this, however, knowing that my father could only have limited contact with me due to his job and my safety.

"No, I was up hours ago," I spoke letting my throat aid in ridding of my morning voice that was more than apparent when I spoke. I didn't want him knowing that I had been woken up last night due to my reoccurring nightmares.

"Listen, I need you to get down to me immediately." His tone was stressed but controlled at the same time. My father was a man who easily coped with fear and stress, his job demanded that of him. He was trained in the art of on the spot problem solving and taking action on the decision, I guess it should be that way with a license to kill.

"What's going on?" I asked him peeling my eyes open with a furrowed brow, beginning to sit up. A pit was growing larger in my stomach when I heard the words listen and immediately. I could only assume the worst with situations like this only because of the dangers that lurked with my father's job. If anything became compromised in anyway a quick move needed to be made for safety and privacy reasons.

"There's no time to discuss this now. There is someone waiting for you outside, I need you to go now. They will bring you to me and we will discuss what we are doing next." My father instructed striking fear that had already begun to build in my mind.

"Okay." I nodded already getting up from my bed to find suitable clothing for the public to see me in. My short silk slip wasn't that of appropriate for others to see me in, I traded my pajamas out for a pleated yellow skirt that sat higher on my waist and a thin navy sweater that was tucked into the skirt. Finding a pair of black pumps from the night before I grabbed my bag and headed towards the elevator of our apartment. I didn't bother fussing with my hair or makeup, some things didn't make it on the list of priorities when your potential safety was at risk.

"Mia? Where are you going?" I looked back from where I waited for the elevator and saw Louis clad in his pajama pants and shirtless. His tattoos visible in even the dimmest of lights in our apartment complex hallway.

"My dad needs me, I will call you when I get there." I waved upon hearing the small ding of the arrival of the elevator. His face held that of confusion when I delivered the short explanation I had time for, even though I wished to tell him more, I myself knew nothing more than him.

My phone began to buzz and alarm me of an incoming call to which I knew would be Louis. Sliding the button across the screen to answer I was met with questions rather than a hello.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked in a more concerned tone rather than that of angry.

"I didn't want to wake you up, I got a call from my dad this morning and he needs to see me immediately," I informed him of what I knew so far following our phone call. The elevator opened up to the lobby where I paced through quickly hearing my own heals click against the tile floor.

"Is everything okay?" Louis became more alerted with the small amount of information I gave to him. My anxiety climbed with all the details I didn't know about, all I knew was that with my dad's tone and instructions it most likely wasn't something good.

"I don't know." I pushed open the lobby door to the outside seeing the transporter my father had sent for me. The door was opened as soon as I made myself known, a man dressed in a white button down and black skinny jeans closed the door once I was secured inside. They all looked the same, they smelled of perfection from their outside appearance and were nothing less than precise when it came to a task.

"Look, I have to go. I will call you after I talk to my dad, I love you." I told Louis not being able to concentrate on a conversation with him any longer. My mind was too busy coming up with scenarios to what was about to transpire.

"I love you too," Louis said back before I clicked off the line taking in a deep breath. Fiddling with my fingers nervously I found my eyes exploring the outside of London. People walked the streets, going various directions on the sidewalks while the roads were occupied by the cars.

I combed through my day old straightened hair, doing my best to rid of the knots that my pillow had produced. I felt inadequate around the man who drove me to my destination despite his silence, his overall appearance breathed perfection something that I wasn't. I focused in on the drivers slicked back black hair and prominent jawline that was sharp and complimenting his overall look. His brown eyes never strayed from the road that he was focused on with a face that read concentration. I wonder what their training entailed, they acted almost robotic like due to always following through with orders given.

Coming up to a flat just a little outside the city I felt the car come to a gradual stop. The engine dying in front of the flat that was freshly painted white. The neighborhood was middle class, my father cared for luxuries like cars and clothing items but when it came to the house he resided in; he didn't care much. Most of the time he wasn't living in it anyway, he was always bouncing from hotel room to hotel room. Always in a new place that left you in a daze with all the expensive architecture and decor of each hotel.

"Miss Frost." The door was opened to me with a helping hand to assist me in getting out of the car. Taking his hand I let him aid me in standing up to reach my full height that still was inferior to his even with my heels.

"Thank you." I nodded looking at the house for a little while letting the atmosphere soak in. Lowering my shoulders I walked up to the house coming to the door, lifting my arm up and balling my hand into a fist I knocked firmly on the black door. Waiting to hear the sound of footsteps behind the door. I kept my eyes on a fixed point on my fist where I had knocked previously. Simply waiting for a face to reveal behind itself shortly upon opening the door.

-April 02, 2016