Too much traffic between us

Shadows of Guilt

The smell of smoke still lingered in the air, a reminder of the devastation the city had endured. Vidisha stood on the rooftop of the fire station, looking out over the city she had sworn to protect. Her body was still sore from the last fire, but it wasn’t the physical pain that weighed her down—it was the emotional toll of everything she and Raunak had been through.

The investigation was in full swing, but so was the gnawing guilt that hung over Vidisha’s heart. Every fire felt like a personal failure, like she hadn’t done enough to stop the destruction before it consumed more lives. And then there was Raunak. The feelings she had buried for so long were now out in the open, but instead of relief, all she felt was a deep sense of dread. How could she focus on her duty when her emotions were threatening to spiral out of control?

Footsteps echoed behind her. Vidisha didn’t need to turn around to know it was Raunak. His presence had become something she could sense, as if the energy between them had its own gravitational pull.

“We need to talk,” Raunak’s voice broke through the silence, his tone more serious than usual.

Vidisha didn’t turn around immediately. She kept her gaze on the city skyline, wondering what would be left if they failed to stop the arsonist.

“About what?” she asked quietly, her hands gripping the rooftop railing.

Raunak stepped closer, his breath warm against the cool night air. “About us. About everything.”

Vidisha exhaled sharply, feeling the familiar tension return. They had both been avoiding this conversation for too long, burying it under the weight of their responsibilities.

“I don’t know what there is to talk about,” she said, her voice strained. “We’re in the middle of the most dangerous investigation of our careers. We don’t have time for this.”

Raunak stepped in front of her, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “We don’t have time to keep pretending either. I can’t keep doing this, Vidisha. I can’t keep watching you put yourself in danger, knowing that I—” he cut himself off, his frustration clear. “Knowing that I care about you more than I should.”

The confession hung between them, but it wasn’t new. They had both known for a long time how deep their feelings ran, but now, it was out there, raw and real.

“You think I don’t care about you?” Vidisha’s voice cracked, her emotions bubbling to the surface. “That’s the problem, Raunak. I care too much. And it’s going to get us both killed.”

Raunak reached out, gently cupping her face, his thumb brushing away a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. “We can’t keep running from this. We need to figure out what we’re going to do. Because this—” he gestured between them, “—isn’t going away.”

Vidisha pulled away from his touch, shaking her head. “There’s nothing to figure out. We’re professionals. We do our job, and we keep each other at arm’s length. That’s how it has to be.”

Raunak’s eyes darkened with frustration. “You really believe that?”

“I have to,” she whispered, more to herself than to him. “We’re not normal people, Raunak. You’re a doctor. I’m a firefighter. We don’t get to have ordinary lives. We don’t get to make selfish decisions.”

Raunak ran a hand through his hair, his jaw clenched. “Maybe not. But I’m tired of pretending like I don’t care about you. Tired of acting like you don’t mean more to me than just a colleague.”

Vidisha closed her eyes, feeling the weight of his words sink in. She wanted to believe him, wanted to give in to the feelings that had been building between them for so long. But the guilt wouldn’t let her. The fires, the lives lost—it was all too much. She couldn’t afford to be distracted, not now.

Before she could respond, the piercing sound of an alarm cut through the night air. Another fire.

Vidisha immediately switched gears, her firefighter instincts taking over. Without a word, she turned and ran toward the fire engine, Raunak hot on her heels. The conversation, once again, would have to wait.

---

The fire was worse than any they had faced before. The arsonist had targeted a residential building this time, and the flames were spreading fast. Vidisha arrived on the scene, her heart pounding as she assessed the situation. Families were still trapped inside, and every second counted.

She pulled on her gear, her mind racing. Raunak was already there, helping evacuate the injured. He caught her eye for a brief moment, and in that split second, she saw the fear in his eyes. Fear for her.

But there was no time to think about that now. Vidisha and her team rushed into the building, the heat hitting them like a wall. The smoke was thick, making it nearly impossible to see, but she pushed forward, determined to save as many lives as possible.

Each rescue was a race against time, but Vidisha never wavered. Even as the flames closed in, even as her body screamed in protest, she pushed herself harder, faster. The guilt weighed heavily on her, but so did her duty. She had to make up for every life she hadn’t been able to save.

By the time they made it out, Vidisha was exhausted, her lungs burning from the smoke. The building was a smoldering shell, but most of the residents had been saved. It was a victory, but it felt hollow.

As she pulled off her helmet, she spotted Raunak across the street, watching her with a look she couldn’t quite place. Relief? Fear? Something else? She didn’t have the energy to figure it out.

The fire was out, but the shadows of guilt that had been chasing her all this time still clung to her, refusing to let go.

And now, there was Raunak, with his confessions and his feelings. She didn’t know what to do with that. All she knew was that the fires weren’t over—both the ones in the city and the one burning between them.

They were still standing in the flames, and it was only a matter of time before one of them got burned.