Thirty Nights with the Alpha King

Chapter 6: At Arm's Length

This is it. I feel like our lives, intertwined so inextricably together throughout the years, have led up to this moment. For the first time, we are going to finally kiss. I don’t know what will happen after that, but all I know is that I want to kiss him so desperately. And by the way he’s looking at me, I’m almost certain he feels the same way.

That is, until he clears his throat and steps backward away from me.

“We should be heading back,” he says gruffly. 

I feel as though the world around me is crashing down. How did I misread his signals so badly? I used to be so good at reading guys, which is why I never seemed to have trouble with boyfriends. I’m the one that always does the leading on, then the breaking up. Not the other way around.

I’m humiliated. I feel my cheeks grow hot with embarrassment, and I turn away from his intense gaze, which is staring down at me. Unable to bear the rejection any longer, I turn away and start heading back to the truck.

“Addy, I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine!” I insist, hearing his boots on the ground behind me. My voice sounds strange in my ears, like it’s a strained, high-pitched squeak.

I still can’t turn to face him, and I’m completely stunned at what I just attempted. I’ve completely ruined things and made it awkward between us.

I’m already in the truck before Nick has a chance to open my door for me. He walks around to the driver’s side and gets in. Neither of us seem to know what to say, making the ride back to the farmhouse even more uncomfortable.

Ugh, I just want this to be over.

As soon as his truck pulls up in front of the farmhouse, I’ve barely allowed us to come to a complete stop before I’m unbuckling my seatbelt and leaping out the door.

“See you later,” I mutter hastily before slamming the car door behind me.

I don’t even turn to watch his truck drive away. I bound into the house and up to my room, grateful that my grandparents aren’t here to question me.

***

It’s been about three days, and I haven’t seen any sign of Nick since he dropped me off after our awkward encounter. I want to go back home to LA so badly after that humiliating moment between us, and I even called my mom to ask if I could come home.

Are you ready to go back to school?

No, I replied earnestly.

Then I think it’s best if you stay with Grandma Winona and Grandpa Bob for the time being.

These past three days I haven’t left my room except for meals. Between the fatigue and my brain being in a fog, I’ve barely been able to move. And I know it’s all exacerbated by my heightened emotional state.

That’s probably why Nick isn’t interested in me. Who would want to date a chronically ill person, anyway?

I decide to spend the afternoon on the sofa in the living room watching trashy reality television shows. My grandmother even joins me for an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I point out some of the places I used to go to with my friends. She nods and listens with a smile on her face, even though I’m sure she’s absolutely scandalized at the overly dramatic behavior of the housewives.

Soon, she gets up to start preparing dinner in the kitchen, leaving me to distract myself with TV. It feels good to turn off my brain, until I hear my grandfather coming in through the door with a familiar voice.

“Spooked, you say?” my grandfather asks.

“Yeah, the cattle have been running to one corner of the ranch, and they’ve been staying tight-knit all afternoon.”

Oh, God, it’s Nick! Can I escape up to my room to avoid seeing him?

“Have there been any coyote sightings?”

“None, sir,” Nick replies. “Did you have a chance to talk with Avery?”

“Yeah, but he keeps sticking to his story that he’s innocent.”

“And do you believe him?” Nick asks.

“I’m not sure,” my grandfather sighs. “He seemed sorry that Addy was frightened, and Avery insisted he would never want to scare the family.”

“Speaking of Addy, where is she?”

“She’s just through in the living room,” my grandmother replies.

Shit! I’m halfway up the stairs, making my way as quietly as possible so as not to make the old floorboards creak.

I hear the sound of Nick’s boots against the kitchen tile, then onto the carpet of the living room.

SHIT! s**t! s**t!

I’m nearly up the stairs when I hear Nick’s voice behind me.

“Hey, Addy!” he says cheerfully.

Hey, Addy? And in that tone of voice? Seriously?

“Heeyyy, Nick,” I reply awkwardly, turning around slowly to see him at the bottom of the steps.

I wonder if he realizes I was trying to escape?

“Do you have a minute?” he asks, and I feel my heart sinking. This is NOT the conversation I wanted to have. Can’t we just pretend that I never tried to kiss him and avoid each other for the rest of our lives?

“Sure!” I say, injecting false cheerfulness into my voice. It sounds way too enthusiastic in my ears, and I silently curse myself for it.

Way to play it cool, Addy, I groan internally. I climb down the stairs toward him and follow him back to the sofa, where he takes a seat beside me.

I feel my body tense up being so close to him, bracing myself for the additional rejection that was about to come.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a picnic tomorrow afternoon?” he asks. He’s wearing a small, awkward smile on his face. His hand runs through his dark hair as the other fiddles with his cowboy hat, seated gently on his lap.

“A picnic?” I repeat in confusion. I blink at him completely dumbfounded.

“Yeah, in our old spot where we used to go,” he replies. “Do you remember?”

“Of course, I remember,” I say, looking at the floor. “You’re just catching me by surprise, is all.”

“Great!” Nick beams, standing up. “It’s a date.”

My eyes shoot up to look at him, but he’s already walking back into the kitchen to leave.

“I’ll pick you up at six,” he calls out behind him.

I have no idea how long I’m staring after him, even after I hear the screen door shut.

What the hell was that all about?

My thoughts are interrupted by my grandmother walking into the living room. She takes the seat beside me on the sofa, where Nick was just sitting.

She doesn’t say anything at first; she just gives me a knowing smile.

“I’m going on a date with Nick,” I blurt out.

“I heard,” she winks. “I’m glad to see you moving forward with your life. I just—”

I feel my brow furrow as her face falters.

“What is it, Grandma?”

“I just want you to be careful, is all.”

First Nick, and now my grandmother. Everyone is confusing me today. Is it the brain fog, or are people really acting strange around here?

“I thought you loved the Oureys, including Nick?” I ask in bewilderment.

“Of course, I do,” she insists, taking one of my hands. “The Oureys are like family to your Grandpa and I. It’s just, they have always held us at arm’s length in a way.”

“How so?”

“Well, they seem to have family secrets, which isn’t any of our business,” she continues. “I know it’s just one date, but I don’t want you to be disappointed when you realize that he may hold you at arm’s length as well.”

I can’t explain it, but I feel a touch of annoyance at her words. A feeling of protectiveness for Nick rises in my chest.

“Just have fun tomorrow,” my grandmother says, patting my hand comfortingly before heading back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

I want to be close to Nick. I feel like he’s throwing me for a loop these past few days, but I want to know him on a more intimate level. I thought I knew everything about him as children, but maybe my grandmother’s right. Maybe I don’t know anything about him after all.